Fun tabletop stories

[SupahEwok]

We all have them, share them!

In my Warhammer 40k Dark Heresy game, we've just finished cleaning out a castle of a cult, which was also the planetary government. My character is a Most Wanted Terrorist by this government (completely and totally malign: I was completely justified in my original Resisting Arrest crime, and things just went downhill from there). My companions assaulted the keep from underground tunnels with a servitor (cyborg) army, while my part was to cover above ground from the sky with a stolen Dark Eldar (sadistic hedonist space elves) Venom skimmer (on this planet, the closest thing to a flying tank there is) to prevent any escapes. Upon our victory, I asked to be named Provisional Governor for 5 minutes. I then ordered the cultist prisoners to bring out all desserts to the front lawn in celebration of my coronation. Upon doing so, and lining up the prisoners to observe, I blew the desserts all up with the skimmer's heavy weapons. When asked why, I told the prisoners that I just wanted to give them "their just desserts."

 

[SckizoBoy]

For general tabletop skirmish gameplay a few memories come to mind:

Sure, it's hurt, but it's always funny seeing a dragon-spawn snek-boi (two pairs of wings, very Tyranid-like aesthetic) get beaten down by a dude with a wrench.

Once got a Wraithknight to kick a Baneblade variant (can't remember which one it was), they both blew up.

And there are those occasions when a one in a million plan comes to fruition, whether it's taking down a high value piece in the enemy army or getting a low odds assassination 'cos there's nothing else to do.

For RPG's, had to drop from a recent campaign, but there were some hilarious moments, mostly to do with our party's skink priest, who had a very Skaven attraction to warpstone, basically wanting to lick it whenever the party found any (no surprise, he got to level 6 before getting more than 20HP).

Ages ago, took part in a short two-session campaign wherein the DM had a quick chat to each of us individually beforehand, just about start locations and a headsup about the first couple encounters and something that the DM would 'call one of us in' for, in terms of boss fights and stuff. First announcement he made right at the start: one of you is an Alpha Legion infiltrator but I'm not going to say who. Never distrusted such a group of close friends more. Who was the traitor? No-one, we killed our DM after the campaign ended!

 

[Chimpzy]

We once had to infiltrate the manor of a big crime lord, think Wilson Fisk/Kingpin in theme and girth, to steal some incriminating documents. We'd gotten by scaling the outer wall and going in through his bedroom window. Being the bunch of inexperienced fuckups that we were, we of course made way too much noise and alerted his hired goons. We only had about 2 rounds worth of time to do anyting, so we got the brilliant idea to hide. Aside from the rangern None of us were good at hiding. I pretended to be a lamp. Our dwarf paladin in full plate decided to hide by squeezing himself into a wardrobe about half to small to fit him. Our ranger and barbarian decided to play for confusion by getting on the bed and pretending to have sex. And our wizard, a notably skinny dude, thought it a good idea to disguise himself as the corpulent crime lord by stripping naked.

So a pair of goons opens the door and beholds:

• 1 dude standing in a corner with a lampshade over his head
• 2 other fully clothed people dry humping on the bed
• 1 armored dwarf exploding out of the wardrobe
• 1 skinny naked dude in the middle of the room shouting commands at them like he's the boss

Sadly, our attempt at stealth failed miserably, but upside was that the goon were so dumbstruck we got a surprise round out of it, allowing us to swiftly nix the goons and abscond with every valuable thing we could pocket (albeit not the thing we came for).

 

[happyninja42]

The most recent one that comes to mind, is when I was running an FFG Star Wars campaign, and my friend who was playing a Wookiee, got a very....interesting roll result.

So they were on Nar Shadda, and were going to meet a contact, and I had them run into a minion squad of street thugs. Mostly because it was our first time running the system, and I felt a low intensity combat situation would be good. The group wasn't too tough, but the Wookiee wasn't actually a combat character, so he didn't want to just straight fight them. So he decided he'd try a classic Wookiee tactic of "scare the shit out of them with a roar." So he made the Intimidate roll, and succeeded!....but...he also got a Despair result. Basically a Despair is a secondary result for a roll, that might mean you fail, but can also just mean that something goes bad as a result. So, he succeeded at the Intimidate, but I decided that the Despair meant his roar was Super Effective, and he didn't just scare the street thugs, he scared the whole city block he was on.

"RABID WOOKIEE!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!" I cried out, and described all the other random bystanders suddenly screaming in terror and running in every direction. This proceeded to get the attention of the local "police" that Nar Shadda had, who I decided were much tougher, who proceeded to beat the 2 of them until they were so bruised they decided they needed to run. Which segued into a vehicle chase scene, which is what the other PC was (ace pilot). They proceeded to basically pull the speeder chase scene in Attack of the Clones, but they were the runs running for their lives. It was a very fun scene, especially the look on my friend's face when he saw the Despair result come up, knowing something Very Bad was going to happen as a side effect.

 

[Buyetyen]

Years ago in college I was running an Urban Arcana campaign. We started with a pre-published adventure in which a necromancer raised some skeletons out of WWI trench exhibit. At one point after only 2 rounds, one of my players got in the tank in the exhibit and asked if she could deduce how to get it started. "Roll me Drive and see what happens." Natural 20. Then she asks if she can drive it over the skeletons and the necromancer. "Roll Drive again." Natural 20. I roll for the skeletons and necromancer's Reflex saves. Not a single one of them get above a natural 3. Welp....

 

[dreng3]

My D&D group turned what was supposed to be a fairly straight forward campaign into a mad plane hopping adventure because we always dealt with sentries by having the wizard walk up to them and showing them his bag, then once the sentry looked inside the barbarian hiding in the bag of holding would grab them and pull them in, after which the wizard used his magical robe to pop to the astral plane and dump the sentries there. All of this was accomplished with fairly low level magical items if I recall correctly.

It is the origin of a strategy and saying at our table "clickety clack, get in the sack" which basically consists of solving every problem by depositing someone in a bag of holding.
A jump the paladin might not be able to make? Clickety clack, get in the sack.
A swim check the rogue is sure to fail? Clickety clack, get in the sack.
The wizard out of spell slots and afraid of being interrupted while meditating? Grab that flask of air and clickety clack.

It eventually turned on us because all the people we dumped on the astral plane, from annoying innkeepers to assassins, to a particularly selfish noble, managed to find a small plane and began a campaign of violence against us and our faction.

We ultimately ended up confronting the leader of the faction on the demiplane. We were surrounded in his throne room and he was mocking us. (I think it is pretty accurate, but I am trying to quote from memory)

"You infiltrated an entire plane that hates you, what is the next step of your masterplan?"
To which the party wizard, a man with a small obsession with planar theory responded.
"Crashing this plane - with no survivors."

Turns out the last few quests had involved planar rituals and magic, and the wizard had, successfully, set the demiplane on a collision course with Arcadia, a plane where we, in our second adventure, stole a leaf from a tree to mess up the perfect symmetry of the completely ordered plane. Turns out the party rogue had hidden the leaf in the castle on the demiplane, and since the demiplane was chaotic in nature, contained an object stolen from Arcadia by thieves who killed half a dozen divine servants, and literally crashed into Arcadia, the divine beings of Arcadia took care of all the dirty work.

And the wizard was proud that he got to make the Bane-meme for real.

 

[Eacaraxe]

In a Star Wars d6 game I ran a while back, one of my players had a Mandalorian PC which he really got into. During one story they ended up so far deep in the shit, I wasn't sure they were going to dig themselves out and not all die and I was running the damn game -- long story short they and their ship were pinned underneath a theater-scale defense shield by a Star Destroyer which was actively BDZ'ing the planet, the PC's were trying to evacuate civilians at the same time the Imperial planetary defense forces were basically on a suicide mission to contain the PC's until the shield collapsed.

It was probably the worst-off situation and the bleakest odds the group was against the entire campaign, it was a Kobayashi Maru scenario through and through, and the PC's were having to throw literally everything they had at the situation to not die, up to and including getting out of their ship in jetpacks to dogfight TIE fighters and Lambda-class shuttles. At one point the Mando PC demo'ed the hatch of a Lambda shuttle and boarded it alone...to be met with the glowing red of a lightsaber, as this shuttle was the one with the Inquisitor in charge of the operation inside it.

No hesitation, he just pulls out a thermal detonator and triggers it...and spends a Force point to resist the damage, which he does completely which is a pretty unattainable task due to the metric fuckloads of damage thermal detonators do. The Inquisitor does too, Absorb/Dissipating the thermal detonator. I roll for damage against the Lambda-class shuttle and the result is catastrophic explosion, which triggers another wave of "you're not soaking this" levels of damage...and both the Mando PC and the Inquisitor do, again.

At this point they're in freefall among the burning wreckage of the shuttle. I ask the player, are they going to try to jetpack away; he says no, he's going in to confirm the kill. So the Inquisitor and Mandalorian start fighting in freefall . The Inquisitor is pulling out all the stops -- lightsaber throws, telekinesis, Force chokes -- and the Mando PC is actually holding his own, using his jetpack and falling wreckage as cover, returning fire with the various toys at his disposal which any right-thinking Mandalorian possesses. Except one ace up his sleeve, which he's saving for the right time.

He gets a good hit or two on the Inquisitor, and the Inquisitor returns the favor, before gravity gets the last laugh. In the meantime, Character points and Force points are being blown through like Halloween candy. He barely manages to break his fall with his jetpack, but takes enough falling damage he's knocked down to incapacitated. The Inquisitor manages to do the same between Telekinesis and Reduce Injury. I give the PC his requisite Willpower check to remain conscious, and he somehow passes that, so at this point the Mando PC is nearly dead and barely conscious, lying in a crumpled heap of his own wrecked armor and gear as the Inquisitor brushes himself off, picks up his lightsaber, and walks over to gloat before the kill.

The Mando PC spends a Force point to act that round, and plays his ace card: a submachine gun loaded with cortosis bullets. The Inquisitor fails his Perception check to see what kind of firearm the Mando is pulling against him this time, and goes to lightsaber deflect. Lightsaber shorts out, the Inquisitor gets bullet-hosed. The Mando PC casually pulls out his disruptor pistol and finishes the job, crawls over and claims the lightsaber as his trophy, stabilizes himself with a medpac, then radios for medevac.

 

[09philj]

My Vampire: The Masquerade character is a nasty little inbred shit called Pietro Giovanni. Pietro is many things, but he's not fast or strong. However, this doesn't mean he's useless in a fight, as we'll soon see. At this point in the story, the party had been cornered by some sword wielding soldiers who wanted to kill us. Also, for reasons that are difficult to explain, Pietro was naked. One of the disciplines in Vampire is Domination, which contains a variety of powers for controlling people. The first level power is one of the most useful, and allows the user to issue potent single word commands to humans and higher generation vampires. Pietro's stats are ideal for using this power. While the rest of the party engaged the other soldiers in various ways, I stared one dead in the eyes and commanded him to "strip", which he duly did. He immediately picked his sword and shield up again though. However, I had an even better idea, and instructed him to "juggle". Powerless to resist, he had a go, but botched the roll and ended up being hit by the sword. As he wasn't wearing his armour anymore, it ran him through, and I waltzed out of that encounter wearing his clothes.

 

[Eacaraxe]

Star Wars D6 story.

Screw it, I just happened to think of another amusing story from that same campaign I'd share. One of the two Force-users in that campaign was the freighter's pilot, they were in a pretty nasty space combat encounter where the ship had been interdicted. In fact, it was that part of the timeline where Interdictor-class SD's had just been introduced (the campaign was pre-Yavin) and it was their very first encounter with one. This was about the point in Star Wars D6 character progression characters really come into their own, but on the cusp Force users get game-breakingly overpowered, and the players were really starting to stretch their characters' muscles and lean hard into the power levels in play to do the really badass stuff.

I expected them to just evasive fly and fend off TIE's until they got out of the gravity well and jumped to hyperspace. I expected wrong.

The freighter's pilot just out of nowhere 180's the damn ship and burns straight towards the Interdictor's bridge. Meanwhile, the group's CO orders shields and weapons to full forward (this would prove completely pointless). I warn them this will put the ship dead to rights on every last laser cannon and tractor beam on the SD, the players all agree, "bring it". I tell the pilot's player, roll for evasive flying.

He already had Combat Senses up, he pops Concentration and blows a Force point. He already had a piloting skill of 7D, plus two for CS, plus another four for Concentration, all doubled, plus another 1D maneuverability on the freighter and 6D for scale difference for a grand total of 33D on his piloting check. Typically in Star Wars D6, having 10-12D after bonuses is "yeah, you succeed in pretty much anything" territory. A result of 31 is "heroic" difficulty, the example specifically given in the books is Luke's trench run shot. But in Star Wars D6, if you spend a Force point and a die result comes up 6, you add that six to your result and keep rolling.

The pilot's player rolls...and keeps rolling...and keeps rolling...and pulls out a piece of paper and starts making tally marks. I'm curious what he's doing, and ask. He says, he's making tally marks for sixes so as to not screw up his count. Then he keeps rolling, making more tally marks, and just keeps rolling. At this point the entire table's gathered around him watching, it's uncanny how many 6's he's rolling.

About a minute into this, I look at his tally marks alone and say "dude, you succeeded". He gives me laser beam eyes and say "fuck you I'm finishing this roll", and it's pretty obvious everyone else wants to see what this results in too. I say, screw it, I'm stepping out for a smoke. I do, come back, and he's still rolling with a result of over 100 from sixes alone. I go use the bathroom, come back, he's at least stopped rolling 6's but he's counting the results. I go get myself a shot because God knows at this point I'll need one, I come back, he's still counting, and at this point the result is over 200. I figure as long as I'm up I'll get everyone else drinks, and while I'm doing that I hear a round of boisterous laughter and cheering from the living room so I figure he finally finished.

276.

In a game where a result of 31 is "blow up the Death Star with a proton torpedo" good, this bastard rolls two hundred seventy-six.

That's "how the hell do you even begin to adjudicate a roll that high?" level, so I rule everybody in the party manning guns get free called shots for the round, and due to how well he flew they bypassed the SD's deflector shields while making up this story about how he buzzed the command tower a la Top Gun. Naturally, everybody marks their shots as aiming for the bridge, declares multiple shots, and spends character/Force points to make them count.

These are 4-6D starship-scale weapons against a capital-scale target, and after called shot penalties and scale bonuses the Interdictor still had a good two or three soak dice on them so it was unlikely they'd do damage to the stupid thing. So really, this was more about making a statement and asserting dominance to the players and PC's than anything.

So it was something of a shock when the first shot went through, they rolled high and I rolled low, and after consulting damage charts the end result was nav deflectors went down. Immediate -2D to hull code, suddenly they were rolling the same dice codes to damage as the Interdictor had to soak. More hits, more damage chart consultation, more secondary damage checks -- nonstop cascade of progressive damage to the Interdictor. Defensive shields, weapons batteries, hyperdrive, life support, everything was failing one right after another thanks to this hail of sustained fire on the Star Destroyer's bridge as its hull code was whittled away.

On the second or third to last shot of the round, one of them finally rolled high enough to get a "severe damage" result, and I made one last roll on the damage chart: reactor overload. They got one combat round to get to safe distance, and they did as the Star Destroyer catastrophically exploded.

So in short, this is what happened. This Interdictor is just fucking around on a hyperlane, minding its own business pulling ships out of hyperspace to check for pirates, smugglers, Rebels, and outlaws. They pull one random-ass freighter out of hyperspace out of hundreds, and before the Imperials can so much as scramble TIE's or hail, instead of powering down or trying to evade, this little freighter with barely enough firepower to fend off pirates turns and full burns straight toward the Interdictor.

The Imperials go to full alert and open fire on this little half-broken turd-bucket, and there's absolutely nothing they can do to this ship as it rolls, pirouettes, and evades every last shot fired at it like it was nothing. The freighter closes to such distance they could open a window and high-five the Interdictor's commanding officer, and open fire with every last gun it has, laying waste to the command deck and triggering a cascading series of failures that results in the Star Destroyer's main reactor exploding. And as the Star Destroyer explodes into a massive nuclear fireball, this tiny little freighter flies off and jumps right back into hyperspace as casually as if they were wiping bugs off the windshield.

 

[SupahEwok]

snip

Can't "like" it enough.

 

[happyninja42]

My Vampire: The Masquerade character

Also, for reasons that are difficult to explain, Pietro was naked.

It's Vampire: The Masquerade...that IS your reason for being naked. I mean, the only other allowed wardrobe is leather bondage outfits and flowy, torn goth girl skirt outfits with Doc Martins.

For V:tM, being naked is just Tuesday.

 

[happyninja42]

snip

That reminds me of the scene in Return, where the one A-Wing kamikazies into the bridge of the SSD, and kills it.

 

[09philj]

It's Vampire: The Masquerade...that IS your reason for being naked.

I wasn't naked voluntarily, my clothes were taken from me when I was sent to Hell. (Our campaign is very weird) Pietro has a very difficult time keeping his clothes intact. I think I'm onto my fourth new suit at this point. The first one was torn up by a series of fights, the second one was removed in hell, and the last one was destroyed when I was partially sucked into the walls of a tunnel of flesh.

 

[happyninja42]

I wasn't naked voluntarily, my clothes were taken from me when I was sent to Hell. (Our campaign is very weird) Pietro has a very difficult time keeping his clothes intact. I think I'm onto my fourth new suit at this point. The first one was torn up by a series of fights, the second one was removed in hell, and the last one was destroyed when I was partially sucked into the walls of a tunnel of flesh.

I stand by my statement of it "just being Tuesday" in V:tM

 

[Eacaraxe]

Can't "like" it enough.

That reminds me of the scene in Return, where the one A-Wing kamikazies into the bridge of the SSD, and kills it.

Star Wars D6 is honestly still my favorite game system because it's just so perfectly balanced and has the most consistently fun progression mechanics of any TTRPG I've played. It's intuitive and accessible, optimization is a breeze, and while it can be damned lethal and the first 5-10 game sessions can get hairy, there are more than enough secondary mechanics (cover bonuses and Dodge bonuses while running are insane, and multiple actions aren't insanely punitive) to keep gameplay fast and fun until PC's hit their stride. After that it gets insanely fun because a balanced group of PC's can pull most stuff off, and being Star Wars it's free real estate for doing crazy shit.

That is until you hit the Jedi wall, and any semblance of game balance just breaks down.

For V:tM, being naked is just Tuesday.

Mileage may vary, depending on character. I rarely play PC's that run around naked or in alt-lifestyle gear, but the last Tremere I played ran around in yoga pants and a T-shirt most of the time. She was a hippy dippy, woo-woo shit, new age-r who was nuttier than squirrel shit, who had this habit of talking to plants, inanimate objects, and just to thin air. She was this Sara Jean Underwood/Tara Stiles type who taught yoga/tantra classes and did online instruction, and was totally oblivious to the fact she was basically a camgirl.

Had to quit playing her because of irreconcilable party conflict -- the other PC's found out she was a Tremere, very much not crazy as she was a spirit mage who had lots of spirit friends, and didn't exactly take well to the revelation. It boiled down to that character either leaving town or wipe the rest of the party to discipline powers they had no hope or capacity to ever counter, I picked the former.

The character I made to replace her, he spent his first story buck-ass naked. Because he was an ancilla who had just awoken from a century-long torpor, his clothes rotted away, and decided he had more important shit to do than waste an entire night finding implausibly-sized clothes that fit. Because he was a seven-foot-tall, skeletally-thin, Nosferatu with a giant disgusting Venom maw. Great fun that character, I forgot how cathartic having "yeet a Volkswagen" level Potence could be.

That said I do have a fun "I'm still rolling, dude" story of my own, that actually is from VtM. First chronicle I played in college, I hadn't played VtM in six or seven years so I was rusty on the rules, setting, etc. ST didn't tell me he was running an Independent elder game, so I rolled in with this neonate, cammy, Toreador on Humanity. ST was willing to roll with it and liked the character (he was a sleazy art thief and black market dealer), and spotted me extra experience the first few game sessions to get on a comparable level to the other PC's.

First game session was the obligatory meet and greet, this elder Tzimisce had pulled favors and strings to assemble a coterie of vampires to go relic hunting for him. One of the other players, one of the more notorious munchkins in the group who always made and brought these edgelord, YA novel Mary Sue, characters who invariably involve one or more of her sexual fetishes, rolled in with a Tremere antitribu. She didn't much care for me or my style of role playing (I don't take things super cereal and like making characters with at least one or two fun little quirks), so naturally I was the target for her barely in-character bullying from moment one and she took it upon herself to just attack me to assert...something or another.

At this point, my piddly-ass little Toreador had two things going for him: one, not being a Tremere in a Tzimisce's domain, and two, an assload of Etiquette which nobody else had (and the foresight to prepare for the meeting) which meant my character got along with the Tzimisce host fantastically. So, Little Miss Hermione McBDSM Compton-Everdeen fucked with exactly the wrong vampire, at exactly the wrong time, in exactly the wrong place, and in exactly the wrong way.

So, I popped her with Dread Gaze. She had the smuggest grin in the entire universe as she was so quick to point out her Wits + Courage dice pool was only six (she always twinked Courage to 5 and dump-statted Wits, never actually a smart move). I rolled...and kept rolling because I had a specialty in Intimidate and got more than a few 10's...rolled some more, and by the end I had twelve successes off a seven dice pool. With Dread Gaze, three successes alone are enough to force a target into catatonia or Rotshreck.

Why was she so smug? Her character had Pavis of Foul Presence, the Tremere ritual that causes Presence to backfire and affect the user instead. What ritual had she forgotten to activate that night? Pavis of Foul Presence, the Tremere ritual that causes Presence to backfire and affect the user instead.

And the ST told everyone at the table, that every night before bed and after awakening if rituals are to be used, he has to be expressly notified of it and told the results of each roll; if not in the open, then via note or text message. So since she didn't mention it, even though it may well have been an "every night" thing for her, he wasn't going to allow her to retcon it into effect now that her own judgmental lapses had bitten her in the ass, and he honored the results as rolled.

So her character immediately collapsed into sobbing catatonia, pissing and barfing blood all over herself in fear, and the Tzimisce had servants come to collect her, and take her character to the dungeon to sort out this minor breach of etiquette later. The Tzimisce needed her and was going to allow her to leave in one piece, but how many pieces she ended up in during the meantime was yet to be seen. Out of character she was so pissed off she got up, actually left the premises, to get herself a cup of coffee and to chill the fuck out. Her leaving would bite her in the ass later.

As the story went on and we set out on our task, she didn't let up and in fact was even shittier for it just not as overtly. Later as we were at the archeological dig site we were supposed to be at, she decided to fuck with my character again. I finally had enough of it again, and asked the storyteller straight-out if she was using Pavis. ST had me roll Perception, she wasn't (she forgot to do her rituals again), so I Dread Gazed her again. Thirteen successes this time.

She hit the fucking roof, accusing me of metagaming, being a crappy roleplayer, anything and everything under the sun.

What she missed while she was gone having a tantrum the first time, was the Tzimisce thought what happened was so fucking funny he told my character -- part reward, part apology for misconduct on the part of another guest -- what Pavis was and how to look out for its use. If the Tremere has a silk cord, rope, necklace, or scarf around their neck, or is wearing some form of wide collar or high-collared top, they're using Pavis. It's actually one of the more overt rituals if a vampire knows what to watch for, and her character didn't exactly try to hide it (nor did she realize she had to). This was an elder Tzimisce (and as we'd find out later, a Szantovich meaning he had Presence himself), so while Pavis is a closely-guarded secret among the Tremere, he'd absolutely have known about it and how to counter it.

This time her character had means of egress, so she didn't go catatonic and instead ran away. When she got far enough away the Presence wore off, instead of returning she decided she would stay out in the wild for the day and plot immediate, lethal, reprisal. The Giovanni in the group, who was on Path of Death and the Soul, decided he'd better follow her and make sure she didn't do anything stupid that would endanger everyone else.

Guess what lives out in the wilderness. Guess what we were expressly warned about multiple times over the course of the story, and that warning reinforced by hearing constant howling through the night. Guess whose character didn't have Survival to cover their tracks or find a safe place to hide. By the time the werewolves showed up, the Giovanni had already found her and had been following her on the sly. The conversation that more or less ensued:

ST: "(Name), you going to help her?"
Him: "Nope. I'm going to stand and watch, and prepare to step into the Shadowlands when they're done with her."
Her: "WHAT?"
Him: "I'm Path of Death and the Soul. My first three sins are preventing death, failing to study death, and showing compassion."
Her: "You're seriously going to watch my character die just so you don't have to roll Conviction."
Him: "Yup."
ST: (pure unrestrained laughter) "Gain an experience point for good roleplay."

She spent the rest of the night seething and making a new character.

 

[happyninja42]

This is something of a....I guess third hand story? It's something someone posted on a Star Wars forum, about a character someone at their table was making, and debating the Force morality of the PC's actions.

Basically, they made a Force sensitive Ewok, but they portrayed them as eating the flesh of various other sentient races. And the whole point of the thread was "is this cannibalism and thus bad and thus worthy of dark side conflict?" But someone had made a snarky comment that was basically "wow, talk about being edgelord and pushing against the stereotype of an Ewok. Sad."

To wit, my response was

"Ok...well first, not it's not cannibalism, because he's not eating his own kind. The fact that they are sentient might be a bit iffy, but it's not cannibalism by definition. Beings eat other beings all the time. And second, we are introduced to the Ewoks, catching our heroes and tying them up to a spit to be roasted ALIVE so they could EAT THEM. AND, on top of that, they had 3PO, who it's established they were holding in a position of at least semi reverence, as 3PO flat out says "I think they think I'm some sort of GOD!" and even when that being, who they think is godlike, specifically orders them to stop cooking our heroes, because it will make him...the GOD, angry, they just shake their heads and are like "Naaah man, we're hungry! " Disregard the commandment of their god, who is sitting RIGHT THERE, and proceed to keep trying to cook and EAT our heroes.

The fact that they look like teddy bears aside, that's some fairly savage and brutal behavior. So no, making an Ewok that's willing to eat various sentient beings isn't breaking type, it's pretty much being old school with type, that everyone else overlooks!

 

[Thaluikhain]

This is something of a....I guess third hand story? It's something someone posted on a Star Wars forum, about a character someone at their table was making, and debating the Force morality of the PC's actions.

Basically, they made a Force sensitive Ewok, but they portrayed them as eating the flesh of various other sentient races. And the whole point of the thread was "is this cannibalism and thus bad and thus worthy of dark side conflict?" But someone had made a snarky comment that was basically "wow, talk about being edgelord and pushing against the stereotype of an Ewok. Sad."

To wit, my response was

"Ok...well first, not it's not cannibalism, because he's not eating his own kind. The fact that they are sentient might be a bit iffy, but it's not cannibalism by definition. Beings eat other beings all the time. And second, we are introduced to the Ewoks, catching our heroes and tying them up to a spit to be roasted ALIVE so they could EAT THEM. AND, on top of that, they had 3PO, who it's established they were holding in a position of at least semi reverence, as 3PO flat out says "I think they think I'm some sort of GOD!" and even when that being, who they think is godlike, specifically orders them to stop cooking our heroes, because it will make him...the GOD, angry, they just shake their heads and are like "Naaah man, we're hungry! " Disregard the commandment of their god, who is sitting RIGHT THERE, and proceed to keep trying to cook and EAT our heroes.

The fact that they look like teddy bears aside, that's some fairly savage and brutal behavior. So no, making an Ewok that's willing to eat various sentient beings isn't breaking type, it's pretty much being old school with type, that everyone else overlooks!

And as a result of them not eating the heroes, they get in a shooting match without having guns, which allows the heroes to drop bits of a giant space station on top on their planet.

 

[happyninja42]

And as a result of them not eating the heroes, they get in a shooting match without having guns, which allows the heroes to drop bits of a giant space station on top on their planet.

To be fair, the Empire was already on the planet, and it's not like they have a good track record with indigenous species, so it's hardly the worse case scenario for them long term.

 

[SupahEwok]

Finally someone with an understanding of my people.

 

[Saint of M]

A one shot a friend did had us as the hired hands for a part of heros off to slay a white dragon. Well, they killed it but the fight was so intense that it quite literally brought the house down. We went exploring the ruins in search of them and trying to escape, because we were back by a now front door when they went storming the castle. We had a checklist of things from an escaped prisoner, and since he had grown quite mad half of it was gibberish word salad, and the rest of it were actual clues that sounded like gibberish.

We got to one part where we found a tapestry with a horse. The clue was the name of the horse and how to "Spell it". Near it were elvin letters that you could push in. After we had gone through pushing the letters several times, my character who was basically Caboose from Red vs Blue (high strength, low intelligence) and decided to see what would happen if I pushed the I and the T, because why not.

It opened the secret door, and the group was laughing for a sold five minutes.