Fun with hate mail

[Shoggoth2588]

While playing Halo 3 online, (team death match...possibly 2v2) My 'team' beat the Hell out of one person in particular who was none-too-pleased by our success. So, I and my team-mate (who were voice chatting) got the same message which consisted of a photo of a tiny penis covered in cock-rings. It was...just...well kinda funny honestly. In a disturbing sort of way.

 

[Phasmal]

I of course never meant to offend you, but if some people get result A and others result B from the same thing, surely there is a reason some people always get the former and the others always the latter. If it were luck or chance, it would be more mixed. If you believe there are those that receive a lot of negative attention and others that receive none, wouldn't you have to agree there is a reason for this?

Yeah, the amount of people willing to harrass someone you run into online.
If you're not in a game with them, you won't get harrassed.
If you are, you probably will.

I've been harrassed for just using my mic, I've been harrassed in a dungeon because a guild mate referred to me as `she`. Most of the time it just comes from the fact I don't hide being a girl, and yeah I could avoid it by not using mic, not ever mentioning my gender. But I don't particularly want to.

 

[silver wolf009]

Well, as an avid player of AVP 2010, which has a rather small player base, I know a few people who I do not enjoy.

For various reasons, the most common being they use tactics I don't approve of to break the game.

This has led to text based discussion before.

Two that come to mind:

Insulting me in an attempt to draw me into a 3 V 1 match to, "Teach me how to play." -tyrantalienking

A furious all caps response to my telling someone to leave the game. He told me not to judge people before you see them, ignoring the fact that I was telling him to leave because I'd seen him before. -DEATHGOYLE

 

[Sp3ratus]

I don't have to play online to get hate mail, I get loads of it for doing my job here.

Really? I can't believe that people are:
a)taking stuff on here seriously enough to actually write hate mail
and
b)not being smart enough not to spew whatever BS they're spewing at mods.

Actually scrath that last one. I'm in customer service, so I know how vile people can be over even trivial things. I'd assume most of the hate mail you're getting is from people who've been banned and/or gotten a warning and stuff, right?

EDIT: And like the others, I of course appreciate the work you do in keeping the place tidy.

I'm not a mod, I'm the managing editor. So most of the hate mail comes from me having opinions about games. Or just being female.

Ah, apologies, that'll teach me to read the titles of people, hopefully. I don't get too hung up on titles and such though and since I've seen you post different places around the site, I took a guess.

Anyway, my point still stand, people can get vile over almost anything, big or small and this being the internet, that is magnified tenfold. While it doesn't surprise me, I'm still baffled at how "hard" it apparently is to just ignore someone, if you don't like their opinion. Or if you're going to argue with them, at least keeping it civil.

 

[Phasmal]

Just seems unlikely that it never happening to me, despite playing the so called hot spot games (your Call of Duties and MMOs, etc.) comes down to luck. I used my mic probably more than the average person, too (before it broke ;-. Perplexing.

Well, you're kind of confusing me. I don't get people to be shits to me, it just happens. I can't stop other people doing it. What exactly do you imagine I could be doing to attract such a thing?
I also very much enjoy using mic (funnily enough mine's broken too now), and I'm not saying it happens all the time because it doesn't, but I wont pretend it doesn't happen.

 

[felbot]

some guys once sent me an message after i beat him in blazblue saying "nice spamming spammer".
that was a fun day.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Never got hate mail from videogaming (although I had my fair share of abusive comments when I used to MP regularly)

However I have had hate mail for my stories. Mostly it's more my fanfiction, and people telling me I don't know the characters I'm writing (which is hilarious because I almost exclusively use OPs)

The weirdest one was recently when someone stole my story and posted it as their own. I sent them a PM asking them if they wouldn't mind please taking it down and they responded with a load of vicious attacks about how I stole their story. That was funny in an 'excuse me what?' sort of way.

 

[IndomitableSam]

Back in the days when MMOs were newer - girls had to be really careful. Not so much of guys, but other women. I still get mad over the hate that went on when you would party up with someone's boyfriend. My sister once got suspended from a game because she and a guy grouped up to do something in FFXI, and his girlfriend got really pissed (at my sister, not her boyfriend), that the lodged a complaint and somehow mods told my sister she had to stay away from the guy and suspended her for a while. Was nuts.

I got kicked out of a guild once for being friendly, too. (In WoW) Friendly with everyone. And lending money or items to people. I lent them to the wrong person, I guess.

Also in FFXI (ah, good times), I had a levelling partner that was a guy, but a guildmate decided she liked him, so she started logging in when I was at school or work and levelling up with him so he outlevelled me, and then started sending the guild/linkshell pictures of herself working at Hooters (and she ended up getting a bunch of gear from people). I called her an attention whore and got removed from the shell as well. Thankfully a bunch of people left with me, but still. This was 10 years or so ago, so I was young and stupid, too.

... This is ontop of the usual hate you get from people when you beat them in PVP or have better gear than them and such.

Really - being a girl in early online times was not easy. I used to get shit from guys all the way back in Asheron's Call because I played a girl character, too. I also got free stuff, though. And I took it, gladly, because they were dumb enough to give it to me.

Edit: I remembered that the one who hated my sister would often send her long letters explaining why my sister was stupid and shouldn't be playing the game. I got one rambly one from my issue...person as well explaining how she'd stolen my levelling partner from me and how they were now internet dating and I should stay away from them. ... Thankfully, I did.

 

[Phasmal]

I don't really know what someone could be doing to garner the attention. Just a hypothesis. I remember in an episode of Law and Order: SVU (my second favourite show) a detective said that women that are raped, are twice as likely to be raped again by a different person, so something must be up. Her partner took offense and retorted, telling her she was blaming the victim. No, she said, but if some people are targeted more than others, there must be a common behaviour present among them.

Whether it's intentional or not, genuine or idiotic, something some women do must be the reason they are given so much more negative attention than others in the same situation. It could be something reasonable, like just being overly chatty and annoying others. Or it could be something silly, like their username. I'm pretty sure all the women reporting this problem aren't raging hooligans, going out of their way to be spammed. No doubt there's some people out there that just treat the opposite sex differently. If we could work out what the women do have in common, we could best devise a way to fix it ^^

You seem to be trying really hard to argue that it's gotta be our fault somehow, and that's just depressing. Nobody asks to be harrassed.
As I said before, I have been harrassed literally just because someone referred to the fact that I'm a woman. I was not even involved in that exchange, so I'm not sure how there was anything I could do.
I'm pretty sure I would 100% avoid harrassment if there were no people harrassing anyone.

 

[Zoe Castillo]

--

 

[Burig]

I don't play much multi, I used to lay APB:Reloaded (as well as APB) but stopped for reasons that I wont be getting into.
I used to be a shotgunner, and was fairly good. It should be said that shotguns are more support roles, along with sniper rifles and that, so either meant to clear a path, or kill someone stupid enough to stick their head out. I didn't just use shotguns, I also had some machine guns and rifles in my pack which I would swap to as needed, but often I'd just keep my shotgun out.

There was some small corridor that the objective was in, and there were two of them against one of me, they both had n-tecs (ak-47s or something to that effect). I kept killing them easily (as shotungs would be better close-range than their guns). One said that shotguns required no skill (the automatic shotguns don't, but I didn't have one of those). I still proceeded to wipe the floor with them.

The next was someone on my own team, who kept getting annoyed at us for not doing something or other that they wanted - appointing themselves the leader. We were playing for fun, and then they kept telling us to play better, and were wondering why they always got stuck with sucky teams. I then proceeded to play properly, and quite easily brought my k/d ratio for the match down, much lower than theirs - as well as getting the objectives before they did, and just winning. I then mocked them, of course.

 

[mirage202]

Eve hate mail best hate mail.

Just go blow up somebody in their shiny new cruiser or first battleship, the things that get said will keep you warm throughout winter.

Sadly I have no provable examples, my piracy days were before the mail system changed.

 

[Kargathia]

I'm not a mod, I'm the managing editor. So most of the hate mail comes from me having opinions about games. Or just being female.

Oh don't worry: the mere act of existence seems to be sufficient to elicit hate mail.

OT: I'm no console gamer, so nobody uses to e-mail to declare their undying hate (or love, for that matter), but my somewhat unusual tactics in Shogun II have been getting me a bit of hate lately.

Makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside.

EDIT: just remembered. Single most hilarious instance of hate mail / chat.

u are stupit

 

[Fappy]

My old college roommate used to troll people on Halo 3 back in the day. It was good fun as most of the people deserved it. We had a very, very angry Hispanic man freak out on us during a game and he and my roommate started sending messages back and forth. It ended with my roommate telling him to, "mow my lawn" in Spanish.

I've gotten some over the years in different games, but I don't remember much of it. Most of the messages I would receive after a game were things like "GG" and what-not.

 

[Fappy]

-Snip-

Every single time I have played a shooter online (with random people) where a woman made her presence known (usually simply by saying something within the context of the game like, "help me cap this") they have been called out. Either bullied because women "don't belong here" or sexually harassed. When was the last time you saw someone bullied online because they were a man? I never have.

 

[Fappy]

-Snip-

Every single time I have played a shooter online (with random people) where a woman made her presence known (usually simply by saying something within the context of the game like, "help me cap this") they have been called out. Either bullied because women "don't belong here" or sexually harassed. When was the last time you saw someone bullied online because they were a man? I never have.

Are you sure that's not hyperbole?

You know, I just noticed, you're in the U.S. and Phasmal is in the UK. The people I play with are all Australian, as I only play on Australian servers to avoid lag. I wonder if the different online cultures is relevant here. Perhaps people on Australian servers are less inclined to act as you have described? That would explain why myself and my friends are never in that position.

It is quite possible. It also depends on the games and platform as well. I was speaking strictly from an online console FPS perspective. There are plenty of games I have played online where women don't face that kind of harassment.

 

[Fappy]

-Snip-

Every single time I have played a shooter online (with random people) where a woman made her presence known (usually simply by saying something within the context of the game like, "help me cap this") they have been called out. Either bullied because women "don't belong here" or sexually harassed. When was the last time you saw someone bullied online because they were a man? I never have.

Are you sure that's not hyperbole?

You know, I just noticed, you're in the U.S. and Phasmal is in the UK. The people I play with are all Australian, as I only play on Australian servers to avoid lag. I wonder if the different online cultures is relevant here. Perhaps people on Australian servers are less inclined to act as you have described? That would explain why myself and my friends are never in that position.

It is quite possible. It also depends on the games and platform as well. I was speaking strictly from an online console FPS perspective. There are plenty of games I have played online where women don't face that kind of harassment.

Console? Ah! That could also be it--I never play on the consoles, as my Xbox broke and my PS3... I just don't like much

My experience is also limited to roughly 4 years ago as I haven't really played any FPS' since then. My WoW days saw some sexism too, but it wasn't nearly as bad.

 

[Charli]

Not going to even start. I'm a woman who at one time played FPS's and had a hand in managing a n MMO guild.

The math is obvious.

It's too depressing, I like moving on without remembering how strangers on the internet think I should be raped or die, or get back in the kitchen. I do have a thick skin, I just don't acknowledge them, so going BACK to them feels like a step backwards.


I'm now in a lovely guild, and I don't play FPS's anymore.

 

[Lionsfan]

I don't really know what someone could be doing to garner the attention. Just a hypothesis. I remember in an episode of Law and Order: SVU (my second favourite show) a detective said that women that are raped, are twice as likely to be raped again by a different person, so something must be up. Her partner took offense and retorted, telling her she was blaming the victim. No, she said, but if some people are targeted more than others, there must be a common behaviour present among them.

Whether it's intentional or not, genuine or idiotic, something some women do must be the reason they are given so much more negative attention than others in the same situation. It could be something reasonable, like just being overly chatty and annoying others. Or it could be something silly, like their username. I'm pretty sure all the women reporting this problem aren't raging hooligans, going out of their way to be spammed. No doubt there's some people out there that just treat the opposite sex differently. If we could work out what the women do have in common, we could best devise a way to fix it ^^

You seem to be trying really hard to argue that it's gotta be our fault somehow, and that's just depressing. Nobody asks to be harrassed.
As I said before, I have been harrassed literally just because someone referred to the fact that I'm a woman. I was not even involved in that exchange, so I'm not sure how there was anything I could do.
I'm pretty sure I would 100% avoid harrassment if there were no people harrassing anyone.

No, mam. As I said, it's unlikely everyone being harassed is harassed because they deserve it (if that's even possible). But a certain aspect of their behaviour online is clearly the trigger, if you will, to the issues. For a silly and extreme, but simple example, imagine someone talking to their friends about their new car, when all of a sudden someone starts shouting insults at them because they hate cars. It's not the person's fault the angry person went off and they didn't deserve it, but their actions caused it.

I don't really believe simply being a woman is a good enough reason, because it doesn't explain why other women in the same situation never receive the attention. It seems fairly cliche to assume the sole motivation for the instigators is you being female, too. I don't particularly accept that women have it as rough in the community as some suggest. There's certainly evidence that seems to suggest girls are targeted, but with no one I've ever personally known having been the target of such attacks (friends, family, guild mates, etc.) it's hard for me to believe said evidence.

I'd also argue men have it worse than women, as I've seen and heard many guys insult, ridicule and otherwise bash other men. In fact, I'd be willing to bet at least half of the time spent in certain games, is backdropped by men bullying one another. Either there's much, much fewer women to explain the difference, or guys are assholes to guys more often than to girls. I've also known of many women getting special treatment because they're women. It's even spawned something of an internet cliche, with men playing female characters to "get free stuff."

Ultimately, while I have my share of issues with the gaming industry, all my personal experience and research rebuffs what I hear in forums like this. Again, leading me to wonder if my friends and I are doing or not doing something that's keeping us harassment free.

Hold on, your premise is that just because it (verbal abuse) doesn't happen everytime, then it can't be because they're female? You even say "But a certain aspect of their behaviour online is clearly the trigger, if you will, to the issues." and that online behavior is being a female. I agree with you that it seems cliche to say, "Oh I get abused because I'm female", but a lot of the time that is the case. Just because it hasn't happened to you or people you know personally doesn't mean it's not true.

And as for "men have it worse than woman", I'm going to have to go with Fappy, I've never heard a men get called out for simply existing like I've seen with woman

 

[Sonic Doctor]

Not really hate mail, but was playing Halo Reach big team battle and when the game started one of my team members kept shooting me and I ended up dying a couple times to the other team because of him. So I made it to where he got the last shot and team killed me, then I booted him. Then two of his buddies on the my team that apparently partied up with him, started attacking me in the same way, so I worked it so one of them killed me and I booted both of them too.

After that I got a message from the last one I booted, "So and so wants to play Halo Reach", obviously he was one of those Halo players that when you anger them, they want to do a one on one or one against the friends game "To show their superiority". I messaged back that "I didn't want to play with team killing ****tards", in Red vs Blue fashion, though I worded it a little nice so I didn't get reprimanded by Live.

There was one time I got verbally thrashed by a guy over the mic when playing Risk Factions. It was down to me and two other guys, and on my turn my strategy was to sweep the board in that turn to win. I picked the guy with the most cards to start off so that when I beat him I could turn in more cards for armies. When I attacked that guy, he started spouting off how I was a moron(in a more colorful way), how there was no reason to attack him, that the other guy had attacked me more, yada yada yada. He said he was going to laugh when I ended up loosing.

After I took him out, he stayed to watch and keep yelling on how stupid I was and he was going to love watching me lose. He finally stopped and left when I brought 88 armies down on the final guy's last territory that had 5 armies left. I obviously won and the final guy set me a message congratulating me.

I don't have to play online to get hate mail, I get loads of it for doing my job here.

Keep up the great work. My favorite thing is when you go on your tell it like it is rants in the podcasts.

It is weird, but when you do that, I imagine it as something like the scene from The Raiders of the Lost Ark, except you're talking and all the haters faces are melting away because they can't handle the awesome truths.