Funniest Joke Of All Time
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What's black and white and read(red) all over?
A newspaper
the funny part of this joke is that I only got it a couple of weeks ago, and I'm 19...
A newspaper
the funny part of this joke is that I only got it a couple of weeks ago, and I'm 19...
What's the difference between a duck?
Yes, the first one is correct, and I'm sorry for the second, I couldn't resist... *evil cackling*
One of its legs are both the same!
What's the difference between a pile of mashed potatoes and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have sex with my mashed potatoes before i eat them, do you?
Yes, the first one is correct, and I'm sorry for the second, I couldn't resist... *evil cackling*
holy mother of poop! that gotta be the best joke ever, honestly it was the first one linner i laughed at since i was 5 and laughed at every joke where in the word poop would appear.Wasder said:
which brings me to my favorite joke of all time (or at least the one who made me laugh the most times)
(serious face)...poop
A young, female Teacher is having a show-and-tell in class today, and all the kids come up and talk about their pets. They go up and talk about their dogs, goldfish, cats, and so forth. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Then Vlad comes up and says:
"We have a family pet. He's an Owl On Wheels."
The Teacher responds:
"An Owl On Wheels? Tell me more - why isn't it here with you?"
"Oh, he's a very special family pet. He never leaves the house; if you want to know more about him, I would suggest that you visit us sometime."
The Teacher, intrigued, comes over to Vlad's house the next day. She rings the doorbell, and the father answers the door.
"Hello, I'm here to see this Owl On Wheels. It sounds very interesting."
The Father says:
"Oh, well, you can't just see right away. It's a very important, special pet of the family. You have to approach it in a certain way. Go down the hallway into the living room and stand in the center."
The Teacher is bemused, but this only fuel her interest further. She does so and and stands still in the middle of the living room, where Vlad and his Mother is.
"Okay, now can I see this Owl On Wheels?"
The Mother says:
"Be patient, there is one more step you have to take before you get to see the Owl on Wheels. Strip down naked, to the bone."
The Teacher is mildly taken aback by this, but she's gone too far to back out now, and she's determined to see this Owl On Wheels. She strips naked, standing in the middle of the room. She's quite impatient now.
"Okay. Can I see this great Owl On Wheels now?"
Vlad opens the door and calls:
"Grandpa!"
*rolling out in a wheelchair*
"HOO HOO, HOO HOO, HOO HOO!"
***
My family's favorite joke.
Then Vlad comes up and says:
"We have a family pet. He's an Owl On Wheels."
The Teacher responds:
"An Owl On Wheels? Tell me more - why isn't it here with you?"
"Oh, he's a very special family pet. He never leaves the house; if you want to know more about him, I would suggest that you visit us sometime."
The Teacher, intrigued, comes over to Vlad's house the next day. She rings the doorbell, and the father answers the door.
"Hello, I'm here to see this Owl On Wheels. It sounds very interesting."
The Father says:
"Oh, well, you can't just see right away. It's a very important, special pet of the family. You have to approach it in a certain way. Go down the hallway into the living room and stand in the center."
The Teacher is bemused, but this only fuel her interest further. She does so and and stands still in the middle of the living room, where Vlad and his Mother is.
"Okay, now can I see this Owl On Wheels?"
The Mother says:
"Be patient, there is one more step you have to take before you get to see the Owl on Wheels. Strip down naked, to the bone."
The Teacher is mildly taken aback by this, but she's gone too far to back out now, and she's determined to see this Owl On Wheels. She strips naked, standing in the middle of the room. She's quite impatient now.
"Okay. Can I see this great Owl On Wheels now?"
Vlad opens the door and calls:
"Grandpa!"
*rolling out in a wheelchair*
"HOO HOO, HOO HOO, HOO HOO!"
***
My family's favorite joke.
I wouldn't bother, it only sounds German, the Python's have already said it makes no sense when translated.sky14kemea said:
I've got a great knock-knock joke though, you start:
My girlfriend recently broke up with me for being childish and immature.
But what does she know, she's just a stinky poo face.
But what does she know, she's just a stinky poo face.
Oops, dunno why I said song... Well my point still stands! [sup]Whatever the hell my point was...[/sup]Bofus Teefus said:
Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night , a drunk Maori led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall.
'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the friend's asked.
'Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Australian clock' he drunkenly replied.
'A talking Australian clock - seriously?'
'Yup.' 'Hmmm (hic).'
'How's it work?' the second friend asked, squinting at it.
'Just watch' he said.
He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash' and stepped back.
His three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.
Suddenly, an Australian voice from the other side of the wall screamed, 'For f*#k's sake, you stupid pri*#. It's ten past three in the f*#king morning !!!'
'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the friend's asked.
'Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking Australian clock' he drunkenly replied.
'A talking Australian clock - seriously?'
'Yup.' 'Hmmm (hic).'
'How's it work?' the second friend asked, squinting at it.
'Just watch' he said.
He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an 'ear-shattering bash' and stepped back.
His three mates stood looking at one another for a moment in astounded silence.
Suddenly, an Australian voice from the other side of the wall screamed, 'For f*#k's sake, you stupid pri*#. It's ten past three in the f*#king morning !!!'
