Funny DRM methods for any game

[The Paradigm]

After hearing about all the controversy between different methods of DRM, I have come to the conclusion that the type DRM in which certain content is changed or missing on pirated copies of a game is, if not better, certainly funnier. Batman: AA and LovePlus+ are examples of this.
So, if legions of pirates were threatening to pirate a game of your choice, how would you prevent it?

Personally, if people were pirating Fallout 3, I would make it so that every entity in the game was hostile toward them. Good luck finishing that!

 

[dryg]

I would add a note saying something like "Nice of you to show interest in whatever-the-game-is-called, please buy it if you like it. ;>"

Since a pirated copy is in most cases NOT a lost sale, more like a full demo with no guarantee of people buying it, but still a higher chance then the ones who didn't pirate it.

 

[Thealchemistofwhite]

Hmmm...

Just Cause 2- The Parachute always breaks. Think about it, epic escape, grappling hook, parachute, BAM SPLAT. That would be if you got a save past the first mission that requires a parachute.

GTA4- No health regenerating, "citizens" and you have to tap A even to walk. That means no running. Cars also don't work.

Naughty Bear- The bears are happy at your actions. You always lose points.

Garry's Mod- What ever you spawn explodes and kills you.

Team Fortress 2- You always get crits scored on you and you deal very little damage.

Any Hentai Game- Have the protagonist stare at you, no matter what. He sees what u doo thar! Actually I think I've read that this has been done. If it has I could imagine the awkardness of the people "playing".

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

The BAtman AA DRM was the most funniest I have ever heard of. As far as I know they did something similar in FFXIII where if a spell was used the party would be killed by chocobos.

 

[Continuity]

I don't think there is such a thing as impervious DRM or an un-pirateable game, any countermeasures could be circumvented bar having most or all of the game in the cloud, i.e. not locally installed or on your game CD, that would make piracy very hard if not practically impossible - of course it would also be a major pain in the ass for legit gamers who would never effectively own the game but just the privilege of running it from a remote server (for as long as the copyright holder supports the game, or even exists).

Personally i think they should give up on DRM, it only harms the consumer and doesn't stop the pirate... what Muppet could possibly think that is a good idea?

 

[Optimus Hagrid]

In Brawl, every sound effect is replaced with "YES!" and the music is a continuous loop of "SHOW YER MOVES". And the beiginning cinematic should be a rickroll. And the only player character is Tingle.

 

[Arcticflame]

-snip-

I think you have missed the point of this thread somewhat.

An irritating bit of DRM I can think of would be pokemon -> Randomly make a percent of the pokemon not ever appear in the game, or certain ones never evolve. (Perhaps the starting pokemon never evolving into the final form?), the hours sunk into the game would be so frustrating.

 

[Continuity]

-snip-

I think you have missed the point of this thread somewhat.

I understand the point of the thread, my point was just that this sort of piracy countermeasure is pointless because it can be cracked, i.e. why bother doing something for the benefit of the pirate if they won't see it anyway because a cracker would already of circumvented it?.. like i said unless content is in the cloud.

 

[setting_son]

Operation FLashpoint: Cold War Crisis had that FADE protection where the game would gradually become unplayable if you used a pirated copy. I never saw it in action though, so I don't know how much of an impact it actually had.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

I would add a note saying something like "Nice of you to show interest in whatever-the-game-is-called, please buy it if you like it. ;>"

2k already does that. They sent me a mail saying my copy of Bioshock 2 was illegal and i should stop downloading it. Then after that: "But we are pleased to see you have taken interest in our game".


Replacing every cutscene with a rickroll or a penn roll might work. Or maybe randomly kill the player after he has taken X number of steps.

 

[hopeneverdies]

Earthbound/Mother 2 made it so that the random encounters would be extremely frequent, a backgground telling you that piracy is bad, and the game would freeze and erase your save when attempting to fight the final boss.

 

[Arcticflame]

-snip-

I think you have missed the point of this thread somewhat.

I understand the point of the thread, my point was just that this sort of piracy countermeasure is pointless because it can be cracked, i.e. why bother doing something for the benefit of the pirate if they won't see it anyway because a cracker would already of circumvented it?.. like i said unless content is in the cloud.

Because it is utterly hilarious.
Besides, it doesn't quite work that way, cracking groups don't test their releases beyond basic functionality. They crack and release asap to vie for the title of first crack. The crack and copy of the game is then released and torrented all over, and it takes a few weeks for the bad torrent to be taken down, and a better crack to be absorbed as the superior crack after it is realised it is broken. It does cause quite a few headaches, even if it ultimately loses. The Batman DRM that caused his wings to stop working was only picked up a fair way after the crack was released.

 

[Continuity]

yeah that's a fair point I guess

 

[Gigaguy64]

For shooters id make the guns shoot nothing but Foam Balls.
And for Games like Zelda id replace all the items with Beedle's "Appreciation" Cards.

 

[sheic99]

I thought this one was quite funny.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.183165-Porn-Pirates-Busted-by-Fake-Game-Installer

 

[DarthFennec]

For sports games, make the ball invisible. Wait, I think someone did that already ...

 

[zHellas]

Any game - Infects the pirate's computer and replaces EVERY IMAGE on it with giant, human penises and having really erotic moaning sounds blasting out their speakers 24/7.

 

[omega_peaches]

Make all the characters look like giant dongs, and have every dialogue just be the penises moaning

 

[Jolly Madness]

Every item'd sell for 10% of the price, all weapons would do half damage. Invert the difficulty slider (Easier=Harder), Make the NPCs always remind you of what a bastard you are and start with negative relationship stats. Make guards arrest the PC for piracy.

 

[Magnalian]

In any Assassin's Creed game, have some NPCs remove the stacks of hay everytime you try a leap of faith. Also, replace all ordinary citizens with those wandering minstrels/beggars.