Funny things you've said in-game.

[naftali1]

Mine was also in L4D on No Mercy. We were in the room where you have to hold off the horde while waiting for a door to open. One of my friends was downed and I was on my way to help him up when another friend threw a molotov and the ground around me caught fire. Then a smoker grabbed me and I yelled out of frustration "Why is there a smoker?" to which my friend on the ground replied "Cause where there's fire, there is smoke."

 

[L4Y Duke]

Firstly, Sir Bartholomew Stilton is a GOD.

I recently found out that the voice actor (John DiMaggio) for Schnitzel on Chowder is also Marcus Fenix in Gears of War 2. So, from then on, every single time I chainsaw someone, I scream "RAAAADDDAAAAA!!"

He also does the voice for Bender from Futurama. So, now you can scream "KISS MY SHINY METAL ASS!" everytime you curb stomp someone!

 

[Fightgarr]

It was an assumption, and those were questions, not statements. You could have simply replied "No, it is not all that I do." albeit the fact that you were clearly under the assumption they were rhetorical questions and that I had no interest in the answer, that is untrue.

While I now understand that they weren't meant as rhetorical questions, its hard to keep a cool head and give that simple answer when it seems like someone is directly attacking your integrity. Honestly, I frequently get annoyed at the "use the search button" people as well. Those two specific cases were exceptions to my behaviour because of extenuating cirmcumstances (the one being a seeming repeat of a thread created earlier that day, and the other being about the 9th repeat of a topic).

 

[silentsentinel]

GO FOR THE THROAT!

 

[neoman10]

Ah, I've got a whole story to go here.

Left 4 Dead, Dead Air Pistol-only Expert run. We weren't doing to well on the construction site level, and about the time we reached the barricade we were half-dead with no medkits. So I say "Screw it." I shoot the gass cans near the barricade, and stand at the front of the group while the hoard rushes in. And instead of just shooting, I dive head-first into the hoard, meleeing and screaming into the mic:

"I AM SIR BARTHOLOMEW STILTON! I AM SIR BARTHOLOMEW STILTON! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?"

And with that, I defeated the hoard singlehandedly with minimal damage. Singlehandedly because everyone else was too awestruck/busy laughing their asses off to help.

So we keep going as planned, until a tank arrives. the general sentiment around the party was "Great, we're screwed."

I walk up to the front of the group, and ask the tank, "Do you know who I am?"

The tank charges. I dodge to the side and start to melee it, screaming:

"I AM SIR BARTHOLOMEW STILTON! I AM SIR BARTHOLOMEW STILTON! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?"

"I! AM! SIR! BARTHOLOMEW! STILTOOOON!"

And with the help of two of my friends (one died), we killed the tank. We killed it with two pistols and a pair of fists.

And so we keep going, and we're almost to the safe house. All of the sudden, we hear crying. I spot the witch some ways away.

"Witch!" Everyone murmurs. "Lights off!"

I turned my light off.

Then I turned it back on.

"Do you know who I am?"

The witch stands and starts to growl at me.

"I AM SIR BARTHOLOME-OH SHIT!"

And that marked the death of Sir Bartholomew Stilton.

/thread

 

[Frank_Sinatra_]

"Ha Ha Ha Im a ****"

 

[Enigmers]

in TF2:

"Hey guys, did you hear? They're releasing TF2 for the Wii. It's called "Wii must push little cart!"

on 2 separate occasions, both of which got relatively positive results.

 

[MuseMCD]

"Why would you want to play Queers of War?" to my friend.
"Cock of Duty 4 is WAYYY better, Cock of Duty: Girls at War sucks!" I said addressing my fellow party members.

And one time when we were playing Hardcore Search in CoD4 on Overgrown, Im sitting in a dark corner in the barn, with four of the six enemies in front of me watching outside, and I say to my friend across the bridge "I think I see some ene- OH SHIT!" then one of them turns around and I run out there with a grenade pulled, and go all jihad and kill 2 of them.

And anytime I do say anything from Caboose on Red vs Blue, evryone starts cracking up or tells me to "Shut the f*** up you window licker..."

 

[TaborMallory]

I was playing Halo PC.
I was doing a decent job of protecting the flag, and then I see some asshole with a rocket launcher. I shot his ass down with my pistol. Him carrying a rocket launcher, I decided it was enough for me to T-Bag him. Then he said:
"YOU MUST NO TEABAGGING!"

*To which I promptly replied, also in all caps*
"YOU MUST BETTER ENGLISH SPEAKING!"

He must have been - or had ties with - the server moderator. I was immediately banned.
Nonetheless, I had a great laugh and still joke about it to this day.

 

[Draygen]

Got a couple here, one online and one Multiplayer.

Online: Playing DDO as a rogue, every about 7.26 seconds I said, "careful, its a trap." Anytime anyone told anyone else to do something, I said, "Don't do it, its a trap." After about 45 minutes of this, someone in the group says, "Dude, seriously, shut the hell up about traps already." Soon after, the party blunders into a trap and all of them but me are killed. When the guy who was a little short on patiences says, "Damned rogue, you should have warned us about the trap!" I couldn't help but point out, "But you told me to shut up about traps."

Multiplayer: Sat down for the first time ever in front of a 360 and my friends were playing Soul Calibre. My turn comes up and as its doing the preliminary taunts and whatnot, I'm slowly and lowly saying "Kaaaaaaaa-maaaaaaaa-yaaaaaaa" and just as it starts, I shout, "THIS BUTTON!!!" at the top of my lungs and proceed to do some hellacious combo. I still lost, but it was a fun first bout.




Less of a funny quote but still fun. Friends wanted to do all shotguns in a Halo 3 match. I tend to dominate our shotgun matches, and was doing fairly typical in this particular situation. Well, I hear a "whoop!!!" from the other end of the room as my buddy shouts "Finally killed Draygen! Who's the bad ass now?" As he turns to my chair to gloat, he sees my 3 year old son sitting in my chair with the controller mashing random buttons as I'm returning from the kitchen with a sandwich. I still won that match, and he felt like a total prick for killing a 3 year old.

 

[vid20]

EDIT: Although if you want badass comments, I would have to say "EAT DIE"

Were you attacking the person with dice?

I actually have a shirt that says "Prepare to Die" and has a picture of a D20 under it.

That.. is one of the coolest things I have ever heard of.

Not so much said, but my screen name in L4D is CAPSLOCK FURY. if you play lots of L4D chances are I've been an ass too you

Also telling a good smoker that there good smoker pull was "smoking"

 

[blackcherry]

Playing smash bros brawl I was testing our diddy kong to see if he was any good, whilst playing against a mate. I did his side and B attack which latches you onto the opponents face and lets you hit them.

For the rest of the match all I did was this move, followed by 'FACE FUCK!'. My friend had to put down the gamecube controller as he was splurting orangeade out his nose he was laughing so hard.

 

[Garrett2533]

I wish I could remember some of my funnier moments. Here are the best I can think of(all from Warcraft)

Random guy1:Anyone seen any horde
Me: Besides the one standing on my throat?

Guild member: The worst thing about being alliance on this server is that we always get ganked
Guild Newbie: What is ganked?
Me: That's when a horde chops your bollocks off and beats you to death with them.
Guild Newbie: That doesn't seem possible.
Me: That's why being ganked sucks so bad.

[General]Guild member I owed money to: Paying 100g to anyone who kills Garet. He's a 34 priest in duskwood.
[Whisper]Random guy2: Are you a horde?
[Whisper]Me:........
[whisper]Me: Zgarlovke lnok metac furg

Me: Back
Party member: Dude, you were gone for like, 20min
Me: Sorry. The gimp got loose.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Wilson: Who has the shotgun?
Danny: I always have a shotgun, in my pants.
Wilson: *sigh*

I tend to make quite a few, but I work on a quantity over quality policy, I just keep on talking until I say something funny. Sometimes, though, I strike comic gold.

Most of the time, I just get a lot of my team-mates muttering, "Shut the hell up, Danny!"

Same with me.

The only one I can think of was when I was playing Fat Kid on Halo 3, and I was the Fat Kid. As I inched towards a bunch of guys who were drawing my attention, some guy came up and assassinated me, to which I screamed "Why doesn't ANYONE want to be MY FRIEND!?".
That's the best I got right now, I'm usualy not thinking when I spout the good stuff.

 

[sheic99]

Me and one of my friends were playing Left 4 Dead on a local server. So we started messing with cheats. We are both in God mode and have infinite bullets. Out of boredom I start to spawn tanks randomly, usually in tight corners. Finally a Tank spawns on the map and the moment the Tank music starts to play I yell "I swear it wasn't mine!"

 

[un533n]

I like to give my 3 yr old sister the headset and let her say random shit. I'll be playing some CoD4 online, owning and whatnot, and she'll be on the headset just rambling in her little voice, "I'm the best!!" Like, I'll tell her to say stuff like "headshot", but she'll just start talking about cookies or dolls or some shit and it's hilarious.

 

[Pink Gregory]

Referring to any large/pointy enemy as 'chuckles' is occasionally amusing

and in fallout 3 - 'FISTO!' is a battle cry in itself

 

[SnowCold]

EDIT: Although if you want badass comments, I would have to say "EAT DIE"

Were you attacking the person with dice?

I actually have a shirt that says "Prepare to Die" and has a picture of a D20 under it.

Fucking Sweet, Where did you get it?

EDIT: also, when my freind was play TF2 as sniper, and killed someone with a shot to the behinds, I said In the most similler voice to the sniper I could:"Boom, Buttshot..."

 

[Mikaze]

Playing Vegas 2 in singleplayer at a LAN to waste a little time between games and talking to myself as I play like I always do then randomly yelling out 'WHAT DID I EVER DO TO THEM!' as a horde of terrorists descends upon me.

 

[wordsmith]

*headshots a zombie with a shotgun on L4D*

Hmm, interesting shade of brains you decided to paint the wall with...