Game Character Assassinations

[TallanKhan]

Hey listen!

Navi, the only thing that dragged down a near perfect game. I dont know how you would go about killing it but if it would work, trap it in a jar, poke a couple of small holes in the lid, and submerge it in water until the jar fills up and it drowns.

i wonder, what if you had like a record player that had rebecca black's "friday" and by the end of the song there'd be a chain reaction that would cause the jar to then be dropped in water? kinda like what happened in "Basil the Great Mouse Detective".

EDIT: playing at full volume for Navi of course.

I remember that movie from when i was a kid, very underrated. I think we have a plan, this needs to happen.

 

[The Wykydtron]

It would have to be Darius from LoL. Just stack every single execution ability and true damage ability in the game onto his face. Including another Darius.

Garen, Riven... Who else? Sure there's more low health = more damage abilities in the game. Irelia gets the true damage in along with Olaf and Cho' then Riven and Garen ult at the same time for maximum bitchslapping sensations.

Just as a reminder. Morgana still gives zero shits about anything. Yes Black Shield does still work on the Darius "we have no idea how to code hitboxes correctly" pull. Fuck your OP bullshit I have an amazing OP shield.

Really I wouldn't mind if Riot took a leaf out of Valve's DOTA 2 book and made everyone OP so no one is OP. Magic: The Gathering logic FTW

 

[uhddh]

Hey listen!

Navi, the only thing that dragged down a near perfect game. I dont know how you would go about killing it but if it would work, trap it in a jar, poke a couple of small holes in the lid, and submerge it in water until the jar fills up and it drowns.

I'd execute her by putting her in a box. Put that box inside a bigger box. Put that in an even bigger box. Mail it to myself, and when it arrives... I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!

Yes there was inspiration

 

[Bernzz]

Delphine, from Skyrim.

Because she happens to be insolent, idiotic, weak, and unhelpful. Not only that, but shes covered by goddamn plot armor, asking me to kill my buddy Paarthurnax.

And I would execute her with my axe, naturally. Make it right and proper.

Just to see what it'd be like, one of my characters travelled with her from Riverwood to Kynesgrove, instead of going when I felt like it. One of her lines along the way pissed me off to no end.

"I'm glad you decided to tag along. Wouldn't want you getting killed before we even found a dragon."

So. Much. Rage.

So my choice is her. In the most painful method possible.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Damn... read the thread topic and came in here expecting 'character assassination', not assassinating characters... ah well... -_-

 

[ABLb0y]

1: Miranda Lawson from Mass Effect.
2: Because she's literally the most annoying fictional character in any work ever.
3: Overload all those implants she's had so she explodes.

 

[Micromyni]

I would have loved to assassinate Ulfric Stormcloak before the end of the civil war storyline and Delphine when the ***** told me to kill Paarthurnax and wouldn't let me tell her what he told me.

In fact, I tried. Poison in their pockets. They both were plot-armored. All my rage, Bethesda.

 

[Trivun]

Atrus, from the Myst series. Not because I don't like him - he's an awesome guy. But it would be rather ironic given his obscene levels of paranoia, and I'd love revenge on him for the so convoluted ways in which he tries to puzzle or trap people who he hasn't given permission to access his home or his Ages. I'd probably go about it in a very 'Saw'-esque way too, just for the sheer pleasure of seeing him in a real puzzle...

 

[Patrick Buck]

1: The Scout from TF2
2: Because the last 3 Mann Vs Machine games I've joined I've been forced to quit, because I'm playing with 3 or 4 scouts, who refuse to play anything else, dispite the fact we have no engineers, heavys, or medics. Then complain, rage quit, and leave the server empty, leaving me having wasted 20 minutes matchmaking in the BLOODY valve servers. Also because people keeps spamming "Put a dispenser here" with him, and it makes me go fucking CRAZY every time I hear it.
3: Forcing him face first into a meat grinder.

 

[Shinsei-J]

The King of All Cosmos,
in the void of space,
with the pelvic thrust.
The guy's a dick, destroys the stars and then leaves the clean up to us son(?).

 

[Shinsei-J]

Eh, double post.

 

[Jarek Mace]

The protagonist from Sleeping Dogs. He's the most Mary-Sue, cock-sure perfect at everything dick head that acts all careless. He's like Nico Bellic if you took away the flaws.
With a huge fucking megaphone to his ear, booming out "Shut the fuck up, you hypocritical perfect at everything generic sandbox hero ****!"

 

[StormShaun]

I was about to say Saber, but I don't classify visual novels as 'games' per se. That being the case, I'm afraid I have to let her go. Instead... I can't think of any other character from any interactive medium I hate enough to assassinate.

Oh? I didn't know anyone could hate Saber, she's practically the cute mascot of the entire Fate Series. Unless, you either don't like the Fate series or don't like how she only fills the role of a mascot.

It's not that. I've never even read any of them, or seen any of the anime versions. What I dislike about Saber comes from my perception as filtered through fans of the series. That being that she's a cardboard cutout with a magic sword and the character depth of a Call of Duty protagonist.

Really, ugh I hate when the fans do things like this. Well I played the Fate/Stay Night VN and I loved it. It was long and interesting and Saber was very well interesting in my mind. If you actually play the Visual Novel (Its a great play/read) you will find out much more. I just hate it when fans ruin a series because of something.

*Sigh* Oh well.

For me...none I guess. I never hated a character enough to kill.

 

[Goofguy]

- Zeke from Infamous
- That guy would never shut up, was a useless friend and was such a pain in the ass
- By scaphism. Cruel but necessary.

 

[Texas Joker 52]

Delphine, from Skyrim.

Because she happens to be insolent, idiotic, weak, and unhelpful. Not only that, but shes covered by goddamn plot armor, asking me to kill my buddy Paarthurnax.

And I would execute her with my axe, naturally. Make it right and proper.

Just to see what it'd be like, one of my characters travelled with her from Riverwood to Kynesgrove, instead of going when I felt like it. One of her lines along the way pissed me off to no end.

"I'm glad you decided to tag along. Wouldn't want you getting killed before we even found a dragon."

So. Much. Rage.

So my choice is her. In the most painful method possible.

You know, I never followed her because I thought that, 1): It would feel too much like a waste of time, and 2): That I couldn't stand much more time around her.

After seeing that quote, I know for sure the second point is spot on.

"*****, I've killed 17 dragons so far. How many have you killed, huh? None? So whose expertise are we going to use for killing dragons? Mine, you're damn right.".

 

[MyOpinionIsBetter]

-Hope from FF13

-He is annoying

-I'd kill him via internet bulling until he commits suicide.

 

[Ljs1121]

Hey listen!

Navi, the only thing that dragged down a near perfect game. I dont know how you would go about killing it but if it would work, trap it in a jar, poke a couple of small holes in the lid, and submerge it in water until the jar fills up and it drowns.

I'd execute her by putting her in a box. Put that box inside a bigger box. Put that in an even bigger box. Mail it to myself, and when it arrives... I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!

Yes there was inspiration

I love you for referencing the Emperor's New Groove. Without a doubt, it's one of my favorite movies of all time.

Anyways, I'll say Doctor Li from Fallout 3. I honestly don't know why, but I just really dislike her. I guess I'd kill her with a simple bullet to the back of the head. That's my preferred M.O. when taking out Fallout characters.

 

[winginson]

I would say Delphine for saying my lvl20 with half the shouts could get killed before reaching Kynsgrove and trying to make me kill my bro-dragon. But I already have. Due to removing essential status her head now decorates my house.

Dammit every other character I hate I can kill already. Lets go with every character that acts condsending to your weakness even when you could obliterate them. With a wet sock.

 

[Broken Blade]

Tidus, from Final Fantasy X. No other character has annoyed/pissed me off so much as him. I actually quit playing what was otherwise a fun and enjoyable game because he dragged it so far down. He's such an idiot, so annoying, he never once acts like a real human being? just? gyah. And, um, stabbing him with the Brotherhood sword. Repeatedly. In the gut. Either that, or I'd call up Ezio, hand him the Brotherhood sword, and ask him what sort of inventive finisher techniques he could come up with for it. I'm sure that impractical fish hook could do something nasty.

 

[Demongeneral109]

I was about to say Saber, but I don't classify visual novels as 'games' per se. That being the case, I'm afraid I have to let her go. Instead... I can't think of any other character from any interactive medium I hate enough to assassinate.

Oh? I didn't know anyone could hate Saber, she's practically the cute mascot of the entire Fate Series. Unless, you either don't like the Fate series or don't like how she only fills the role of a mascot.

It's not that. I've never even read any of them, or seen any of the anime versions. What I dislike about Saber comes from my perception as filtered through fans of the series. That being that she's a cardboard cutout with a magic sword and the character depth of a Call of Duty protagonist.

Really, ugh I hate when the fans do things like this. Well I played the Fate/Stay Night VN and I loved it. It was long and interesting and Saber was very well interesting in my mind. If you actually play the Visual Novel (Its a great play/read) you will find out much more. I just hate it when fans ruin a series because of something.

*Sigh* Oh well.

For me...none I guess. I never hated a character enough to kill.

Yeah, people do tend to miss the complexities surrounding Saber, probably because their not as obvious as Archer or Rider's own issues. Im about half way through Heavens Feel right now, and I stand by her being one of the more interesting characters under the relatively plain surface... Its probably because she doesn't get an entire arc dedicated to her absolution, and that its overshadowed by the romance arc coming together at approximately the same time... Unlike archer or the HF heroine(trying to avoid spoilers) who get extended diatribes; along with their issues driving the plot of Unlimited Blade Works and Heavens Feel respectively, Sabers was essentially a side plot that served more as character development; important for Saber... but not towards the HGW itself...
*turns off fanboy mode*
ANYWAY.. THREAD

1)Matou Shinji Fate/stay night
2) While most of the villains in the series act out of disregard for other lives, Shinji is not only a total dick, he is also the only villain that acts out of sheer personal malice. He's an entitled bastard with a superiority complex for whom the term 'human trash' is too kind... Shinji the only character i've so deeply detested in a long, LONG, time.(maybe Zouken...)

3)Throw him into the pitt with parasitic insects that consume him from the inside out until all he does it wait for death... only then does he have my permission to die