Game cliches you hate

[D-Pad]

Most JRPGs.

Yup, JRPGs are a cliche in their own right (not all of them of course).

Angsty kids? Check. Andrgynous males wielding big swords? Check. Female child-hood friend who secretly loves the protagonist? Check. Characters that look like they've just fell out of a wardrobe? Check. The power of good and righteousness conquering all? Check. Terribly predictable character development? Check. And much, much more...

That's not to say they're bad games, but damn, they are steeped in terrible Japanese soap drama.

Go on, you're doing great .

How about the fact that a bunch of ragtag misfits sets aside any differences they may have to save the world....and they always do manage to do it...no matter the odds.

How the initial villian is rarely ever the real one...how there is always a character that manages to get herself (yes...often it is a she) kidnapped.

How everything always happens "just in time"... you never walk into a dungeon to find the kidnapped character dead.

How every single homeowner (who has never heard of these things called locks) just stands there and watches while you rummage through and nab their stuff.

This is part of the reason why after I started playing Fable I lost interest in most JRPGs (except Zelda. That's a classic). You bust into someone's house, they go "GTFO before I call the cops." You slash at someone, they book it (if they don't die first). You break barrels and take stuff from them, an NPC gets pissed, especially if they see you. +Points for realism.

I guess that a lot of JRPGs these days just don't want to push the envelope for some reason.

 

[70R4N]

I'm getting really sick of the "this is the character who will only live as long as the tutorial" shtick. It's so predictable. More often than not, when I start up a game with any kind of coherent story arc, I'm able to go, "Well, this guy talking to me will be dead in five minutes. Not forming any attachment to him."

Those characters who stick around just long enough to die are becoming a real pain in the arse.

This has happened in every BioWare game ever made, no exception. It gets incredibly annoying and predictable.

Have u played KOTOR?

Trask Ulgo anyone?

 

[Qitz]

Hmh, many little things, but lately what has really turned me off many games (mainly shooters) is the "Stick it to the man, rebels hells yeah!" bullshit plot. Its gotten so bloody predictable and overused.

For f***s sake, I'm done fighting the power over and over again. Let me be goddamm stormtrooper or the Dark Emperor for once and develop it from there without the old "Dissillusionoment with higher-ups, taking up the rebel hand band"-routine.

Done. To. Death. in every conceivable way.

And no, giving a last minute option to change sides (after killing most of the Man's armies) for the alternative ending, does not count.

THIS X100000000000

I don't want to join the good side damn it! I want to be that sadistic asshole who will kill you for so much as looking at him cross ways!

At least there's a few games out there where you get to be the "bad guy." Fable, sort of, Jade Empire and Black and White (of those I've played) but really, when is someone going to make the game where I'm part of the "Galactic Crucible" or some such?

Where instead of fighting as a rebel against the big evil power I'm with the big evil power killing those meddlesome rebels.

Also, the whole "I just cut my way through 9001 barracks worth of enemies but I'm going to die to one idiot with a sword" routine along side the whole "There must be a love interest!" thing that's plagued movies for so damn long now. Why can't an action movie / game JUST have the action plot instead of wrapping a damn love story around it.

I want to see Sargent Murder introduce all the alien invaders to their own assholes personally, not make kissy-kissy-goo-goo faces at the one female in his squad.

 

[Coldflame727]

How pretty much every female character is amazing at hacking, and can easily decode alien technology. Also, health packs. They're too unrealistic for my liking.

Would you rather have even more games where you grow back missing organs because you haven't lost any MORE for five seconds?

Well that too. I'm still waiting for a decent mainstream game to just give you a certain amount of health, and if you get injured, tough luck. You stay like that throughout the entire game.

How about this: You can gather supplies during a mission, such as painkillers and disinfectants, and you need to have those in order to slowly heal over the course of several mission. Well, not need, but if you didn't have the painkillers, you might have some sort of penalty, and if you didn't have the disinfectants you could get an infected wound.

 

[JackyG]

I know its a cheap shot, but ALL of homefront

 

[Qitz]

Most JRPGs.

Yup, JRPGs are a cliche in their own right (not all of them of course).

Angsty kids? Check. Andrgynous males wielding big swords? Check. Female child-hood friend who secretly loves the protagonist? Check. Characters that look like they've just fell out of a wardrobe? Check. The power of good and righteousness conquering all? Check. Terribly predictable character development? Check. And much, much more...

That's not to say they're bad games, but damn, they are steeped in terrible Japanese soap drama.

Go on, you're doing great .

How about the fact that a bunch of ragtag misfits sets aside any differences they may have to save the world....and they always do manage to do it...no matter the odds.

How the initial villian is rarely ever the real one...how there is always a character that manages to get herself (yes...often it is a she) kidnapped.

How everything always happens "just in time"... you never walk into a dungeon to find the kidnapped character dead.

How every single homeowner (who has never heard of these things called locks) just stands there and watches while you rummage through and nab their stuff.

Oh god, that last part reminded me of the best video I've seen about that. Featuring Link no less.

Spoiler

 

[Hides His Eyes]

How pretty much every female character is amazing at hacking, and can easily decode alien technology. Also, health packs. They're too unrealistic for my liking.

Would you rather have even more games where you grow back missing organs because you haven't lost any MORE for five seconds?

Well that too. I'm still waiting for a decent mainstream game to just give you a certain amount of health, and if you get injured, tough luck. You stay like that throughout the entire game.

How about this: You can gather supplies during a mission, such as painkillers and disinfectants, and you need to have those in order to slowly heal over the course of several mission. Well, not need, but if you didn't have the painkillers, you might have some sort of penalty, and if you didn't have the disinfectants you could get an infected wound.

That sounds good.

It's very hard to make shooters realistic and not ridiculously hard in this respect. As for games about melee combat, I think "health" needs re-imagined as "stamina" or "fighting spirit" or something. You have a number or bar that goes down as you get battered, but whenever you're not getting battered it's slowly creeping back up. This represents the general wear and tear of combat. If someone actually stabs you or smacks you right in the head with a big metal thing then the bar or number is limited in how much it can regenerate, and that's an actual wound. You would also incur some other penalties like a limp or whatever. Maybe you would even die if your bar was low enough when you took the hit. You can heal it but only with medical attention and proper rest, not a silly potion or a bandage.

 

[ElNeroDiablo]

What I do hate is short stories with more missions to make it feel longer and then Blizzard calling it an "Epic" when we have to wait another year to get the next part...I'm looking at you Starcraft II

There's existing precedence for Blizzard putting out a game then a year (or more) making a sequel or expansion pack that expands the story and game. Remember the Original Starcraft? Y'kno, the one that came out 13 years ago in 1998? The same one who got an expansion pack 12 years ago in 1999 called Brood Wars?
Or what about Diablo from back in '96 that got a sequel 11 years ago in 2000 in Diablo II which then got an expansion pack of its own 10 years ago in 2001 in the form of Lord of Destruction and is "soon" to have another sequel in Diablo III (probably 2012)?
Oh, and can't forget Warcraft, first in '94 with Orcs & Humans, then WC II: Tides of Darkness in '95, WC II: Beyond The Dark Portal in '96, WC II: B.Net Edition in '99 (after SC:Brood Wars had come out and B.Net proved to be popular and worth it with Diablo & Starcraft), WC III: Reign of Chaos in '02, WC III: Frozen Throne in '03, WORLD of Warcraft in '04 (7 bloody years ago!), WoW: Burning Crusade in '07, WoW: Wrath of the Lich King in '08, and finally WoW: Cataclysm in December 2010...

Yeah, it's kinda annoying to wait another year for Heart of The Swarm, then probably a year after that for Legacy of the Void, since we already know about them, but don't go blaming Blizzard for sticking with a tried-and-true formula they've been using for 17 years and wanting to keep game content fresh (well, relatively) for as long as possible without crowding the market with sequels/expansions for their games so damn soon after the original is released.

 

[GamerKT]

How pretty much every female character is amazing at hacking, and can easily decode alien technology. Also, health packs. They're too unrealistic for my liking.

Would you rather have even more games where you grow back missing organs because you haven't lost any MORE for five seconds?

Well that too. I'm still waiting for a decent mainstream game to just give you a certain amount of health, and if you get injured, tough luck. You stay like that throughout the entire game.

How about this: You can gather supplies during a mission, such as painkillers and disinfectants, and you need to have those in order to slowly heal over the course of several mission. Well, not need, but if you didn't have the painkillers, you might have some sort of penalty, and if you didn't have the disinfectants you could get an infected wound.

MGS3...

 

[Hides His Eyes]

What I do hate is short stories with more missions to make it feel longer and then Blizzard calling it an "Epic" when we have to wait another year to get the next part...I'm looking at you Starcraft II

There's existing precedence for Blizzard putting out a game then a year (or more) making a sequel or expansion pack that expands the story and game. Remember the Original Starcraft? Y'kno, the one that came out 13 years ago in 1998? The same one who got an expansion pack 12 years ago in 1999 called Brood Wars?
Or what about Diablo from back in '96 that got a sequel 11 years ago in 2000 in Diablo II which then got an expansion pack of its own 10 years ago in 2001 in the form of Lord of Destruction and is "soon" to have another sequel in Diablo III (probably 2012)?
Oh, and can't forget Warcraft, first in '94 with Orcs & Humans, then WC II: Tides of Darkness in '95, WC II: Beyond The Dark Portal in '96, WC II: B.Net Edition in '99 (after SC:Brood Wars had come out and B.Net proved to be popular and worth it with Diablo & Starcraft), WC III: Reign of Chaos in '02, WC III: Frozen Throne in '03, WORLD of Warcraft in '04 (7 bloody years ago!), WoW: Burning Crusade in '07, WoW: Wrath of the Lich King in '08, and finally WoW: Cataclysm in December 2010...

Yeah, it's kinda annoying to wait another year for Heart of The Swarm, then probably a year after that for Legacy of the Void, since we already know about them, but don't go blaming Blizzard for sticking with a tried-and-true formula they've been using for 17 years and wanting to keep game content fresh (well, relatively) for as long as possible without crowding the market with sequels/expansions for their games so damn soon after the original is released.

In my experience if a sequel comes out soon after the original that means they didn't really spend much time or effort on it and it's mostly similar to the original. See the Assassin's Creed series. I miss waiting years for a sequel and getting something that's actually different from the original, like Half-Life to Half-Life 2, or Morrowind to Oblivion.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Riding Turret is any games. If its an option then it is OK but forcing me do to it pisses me off. Then there is the endless getting on and off to open a door. Couldn't I just blow up the door with the giant turret I have right now?

 

[KurmisTheFrog]

I'm surprised there haven't been so many mentions of saving the princess/girlfriend who you automatically have to love and she can't defend herself.

 

[Esotera]

First off, thanks all for the well-thought out replies. They've given me some really cool ideas.

How pretty much every female character is amazing at hacking, and can easily decode alien technology. Also, health packs. They're too unrealistic for my liking.

I agree. i want a game where if i get shot in the leg i fall to the ground drop all my weapons and start screaming fevioushly in pain while the enemy ties me up brings me to a pow camp strips me of all my clothes beats me, rapes me, forces me to do terrible things in front of cameras then finally after months of dehumanizing torture (which would be played out in useless qte's aka press x to make a slightly louder scream) i would be released from my prison when the place is bombed but i am shot by some frisky marines because i yelled at them.
gosh. that would just be awesome.

(meant as a joke, i do agree with you. but you'd need a good hook to take out healing kits/stims/potions/etc

That would be a pretty hilarious game, playing for months on end. But if done well it could also be brutally honest about the horrors that come with torture, instead of just having it as a cinematic (I'm looking at you, Black Ops).

How pretty much every female character is amazing at hacking, and can easily decode alien technology. Also, health packs. They're too unrealistic for my liking.

Would you rather have even more games where you grow back missing organs because you haven't lost any MORE for five seconds?

Well that too. I'm still waiting for a decent mainstream game to just give you a certain amount of health, and if you get injured, tough luck. You stay like that throughout the entire game.

That can be seen as just as unrealistic as a Health Pack. In real life, you get shot, you die.

I kind of like the way that the Fable series handles it. You're the hero, so it's made glaringly apparent that you can't die no matter how hard you want to, but you still get disfigured to mark the occasion.

That's a pretty cool idea. Although if you really suck at the game doesn't your character become unbearable to look at? The closest game I can think of that is realistic is battlefield 1942, at least for one-hit kills. But it still has a way to go on mission realism. It'd be awesome to trek across terrain for something like 20 minutes to set up an ambush; it'd make the wait all the more worthwhile. Plus there'd be plenty of time to develop characters/admire the beautiful scenery.

How pretty much every female character is amazing at hacking, and can easily decode alien technology. Also, health packs. They're too unrealistic for my liking.

Would you rather have even more games where you grow back missing organs because you haven't lost any MORE for five seconds?

Well that too. I'm still waiting for a decent mainstream game to just give you a certain amount of health, and if you get injured, tough luck. You stay like that throughout the entire game.

How about this: You can gather supplies during a mission, such as painkillers and disinfectants, and you need to have those in order to slowly heal over the course of several mission. Well, not need, but if you didn't have the painkillers, you might have some sort of penalty, and if you didn't have the disinfectants you could get an infected wound.

That's a pretty good idea. Maybe there's even the potential for a keyhole surgery mini-game - control the robotic surgeon & heal your team-mate, or they die. Surgeons in the real world practice with video games, it'd be cool to see it the other way round.

 

[Fenra]

Its not completely limited to games, but redemption stories irk me. I mean the big bad guy has tortured and killed millions, has been made out the entire game to be the most evil being in existance, but WAIT he has a heart after all, and in a last moment of sacrifice becomes the greatest hero of the land..... seriously?!

 

[TerribleAssassin]

Regenerating health, limited weapon capacity, and pretty much everything Halo revolutionized.

 

[A Username Not In Use]

Enemy soldiers who will shoot at you and only you dispite there being an entire battalion stood right behind you. The afore mentioned battalion right behind you being unable to hit the broadside of a barn at point-blank range except when you die then their aim improved drastically.

Power-ups, weapons or armour that serve no useful purpose and where put in proberbly as a joke.

Unnecessarily long periods of grinding just to advance your party a single level (final Fantasy XII I'm looking in your direction)

World War II, it has provided insperation for some great films but for the love of everything people hold holy lets fight a different bloody war.

 

[littlealicewhite]

"Oh, sir/ma'am, please help me rid my farm/house/store of goblins/pigs/rats/spectral beasts! I'm weak and stupid, and so is everyone else in town that owns a sword! You are the only one who can save us!"

 

[zehydra]

"Self destruct" sequences where everything begins to explode around you, even though this was a pre-programmed self destruct function (e.g. that ship in the first Ratchet and Clank with the big red shiny button). I'm sorry, but surely a self destruct timer would be connected to a bomb that would go off once the timer had finished counting down, not several bombs blowing up the pipes and machinery of the ship as you walk through it.

Also, computers sparking or exploding when shot or punched, fuck that nonsense

Or in Goldeneye, when you set off the C4 in the Silo mission, you see explosions everywhere until you die.

Unless you have God Mode on, which allows you to keep playing the mission while you're constantly surrounded by endless explosions. (Turns out, that there are only explosions within a certain radius of the character, so you can proceed through the level accidentally killing guards that you haven't walked past yet).

 

[hoboman29]

Gray screen of "You are about to die!" what happened to health bars you know that green/red/whatever color that told you you are going to die with out making it impossible to see the 9999999999 bullets coming at you face

 

[Distant_Twilight]

To sum up every cliche [http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html] I dislike. It's terrible because I'm only good at RPGs.