Games Not Worth Playing

[Carnagath]

I'd say Dear Esther. I knew it was about an hour long and I knew it had no gameplay, but I at least expected a story. It doesn't have that either. Intentionally obscure poetic rambling does not equal story. I even searched forums about it after I finished it, and there are speculations but noone seems to actually know what the game was about, if it was about anything. Braid was obscure too, but the ending gave you the outline of a story that you can interpret in different ways, in Dear Esther I could not even piece together that, there's just several people that may or may not have not some things, and are not connected in any visible manner. At least it had an amazing soundtrack, so that's something I guess, but highbrow bullshit like that really pisses me off.

 

[zeit]

Haven't played Skyrim yet, probably won't until cheap-ass computers are good enough to run it. I played Oblivion and hated it and don't imagine Skyrim to be that much better. Bethesda's games bore me to tears.

Fallout 3 was okay, I guess. It lacked the charm and the humor and all the other cool things about Fallout 1 and 2, and the DLCs were mostly shit, and you had to buy a DLC just to be able to play the game after the ending which I thought was pretty stingy on Bethesda's part. The main quest is just boring, you just do a bunch of fetch quests for the Imperial Legi...er, I mean Brotherhood of Steel and when you get right down to it, it's just a first person shooter with clunky controls.

Fallout New Vegas just plain sucked. It was buggy to the point of being nearly unplayable, ran at about half the speed of Fallout 3 despite being exactly the same game, and the whole thing about picking sides between the different factions was really poorly done. The graphics sucked too. New Vegas is a grey, full-bright eyesore with neon lights taped to it and the worst part is the Caesar's Legion camp which is just a big brown hole in the desert. Geckos with stupid gaping grins run at you with only their legs animated and nothing else, guns are unresponsive and often glitch out, rotating in weird directions until you load a saved game. It seems like something a team of amateur modders would make, not a professionally-made game.

Oh and when you finally get the coolest armor in the game, the Ranger battle armor, the thing you've been waiting for the whole time; guess what? All your guns clip right through the middle of the fucking trench coat because the developers were too lazy to fix it, even after a bazillion updates that introduce more bugs than they fix. Even though they hired some of the original Fallout team, New Vegas is even shittier than Fallout 3.

 

[ABLb0y]

Resonance of fate. I honestly thought I'd never find a JRPG I didn't like. Then this skidmark came along.

 

[Daveman]

The most blatant one for me has to be Duke Nukem Forever. It's rare that I'll feel ripped off when I pay £2.50 for a game, but I do.

 

[josemlopes]

Come on, don't try and give this a classy title and talk it up, this is a ***** about a game you don't like thread. Or at least what it will descend into and you knew this well before making it.

Exactly, like only one guy mentioned Big Rigs and that is one of the best examples for a game that isnt worth playing, the rest of the guys seem to just choose one game of the popular ones and say how much they dont like it.

 

[Somebloke]

The PC port of Saint's Row 2.

I decided to check it out, when it was on the cheap, since I recalled Yahtzee had expressed a like for the title.

What I failed to research, was how absolutely abysmal the port from console to PC was, with terrible framerates on hardware that outpaces the original console target several times over and controls that are mapped all over the keyboard (the two controller sticks are each mapped to a set of keys, etc...) and sends a vehicle irrevocably lurching over a certain number of degrees, at the merest tap of a key - only way to stay on the road is to keep zig-zagging.

Virtually unplayable - a publisher with any self respect would remove it from the market.

 

[TheNaut131]

Come on, don't try and give this a classy title and talk it up, this is a ***** about a game you don't like thread. Or at least what it will descend into and you knew this well before making it.

Oh my god, you're right. My entire life view has been changed, and gosh darn it I should just retroactively remove this thread from existence because you don't like the premise.

Oh, wait. That would be my reaction if I actually cared and weren't an asshole. Hint: I don't and I am.

The point I was trying to make was, If you bothered to look, we already have hundreds of these damnable things and they all just descend into fanboys screaming at one another. No one wants that.

Spoiler

Well, I guess we'll just have to live with it. It's just another one of the inevtible thing that happens on the internet. Just be thankful that so far no one seems to have had their feelings hurt by what some random stranger, who probably means next to nothing to them in reality, said about a game they like.

 

[Captain Booyah]

Come on, don't try and give this a classy title and talk it up, this is a ***** about a game you don't like thread. Or at least what it will descend into and you knew this well before making it.

Exactly, like only one guy mentioned Big Rigs and that is one of the best examples for a game that isnt worth playing, the rest of the guys seem to just choose one game of the popular ones and say how much they dont like it.

Yeah, it's a shame when potentially good threads are derailed like this by people who read "games not worth playing" as simply "games I hate and think are overrated". God knows we have enough of the latter. I was looking forward to some snarky and potentially useful posts, but I guess I should have known better. Are games like BioShock and Fallout 3 and Skyrim so shamelessly, horribly bad that they have absolutely nothing to offer to anybody, ever? Really? Really?

OT: I've never had the pleasure of playing it myself, but PepsiMan (not that many would ever consider playing it in the first place). Unless you're playing it for laughs.

 

[minarri]

Dragon Age 2. Playing it was like eating classroom paste; yeah you could do it, but it wasn't enjoyable or nourishing in any way.

I'd also like to nominate FFVIII and any of the ones that came after number 10 in that series. Too stodgy and obsessed with appearances but devoid of enjoyment.

 

[Issurru]

Front Mission Evolved or whatever it was, really they turned an awesome turn based Mech RPG into what is essentially Armored Core (which is a great series, well I thought so before it went all DBZ-speed) But 1 infinity times worse. Seriously there's nothing redeemable about the game, everything was retarded down (an even greater version than the normal dumbed down)

The graphics suck, the customization is awful and pointless, characters/voice acting were terrible, had a stupid bullet time and a bunch of other things. Seriously I would rather be subject to ET for the Atari or Two Worlds or Duke Nukem Forever, for all eternity than play this piece of garbage (which was totally my fault for buying, I saw FRONT MISSION and just bought it... Taught me a very good lesson)

 

[tobi the good boy]

Come on, don't try and give this a classy title and talk it up, this is a ***** about a game you don't like thread. Or at least what it will descend into and you knew this well before making it.

Oh my god, you're right. My entire life view has been changed, and gosh darn it I should just retroactively remove this thread from existence because you don't like the premise.

Oh, wait. That would be my reaction if I actually cared and weren't an asshole. Hint: I don't and I am.

The point I was trying to make was, If you bothered to look, we already have hundreds of these damnable things and they all just descend into fanboys screaming at one another. No one wants that.

Spoiler

Well, I guess we'll just have to live with it. It's just another one of the inevtible thing that happens on the internet. Just be thankful that so far no one seems to have had their feelings hurt by what some random stranger, who probably means next to nothing to them in reality, said about a game they like.

Very well, no point talking the apathetic. I can only hope in the future you think before you post, not of a singular person but the community you're a part of and realise you'd be doing us all a favour by keeping dribble that will result into frivolous flame-wars (which are against the forums rules) away from The Escapist.

 

[Danzavare]

Sonic 2006. It's a terrible experience and for even the most dedicated of Sonic fans it's worth ignoring. (Which is helped by the fact that its ending basically negates anything/everything you did)

I've played games, but Sonic 2006 is the only one I've played that should never ever be interacted with.

 

[TheNaut131]

Very well, no point talking the apathetic. I can only hope in the future you think before you post, not of a singular person but the community you're a part of and realise you'd be doing us all a favour by keeping dribble that will result into frivolous flame-wars (which are against the forums rules) away from The Escapist.

There's at least a 60% chance I'd fuck shit up somehow, so no promises.

Seriously though, if someone can't see what certain games have to offer, than I guess they simply don't see it. A lot their choices are bullshit, I will admit that. But their choices are their choices, so there. Now, here are a few games that no one should ever play is this:

Superman 64. Seriously, fuck that game.

Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days. It could've been goo-no, who am I kidding, that game was shit!

Call of Juarez 3: The Cartel...fuck the driving sections, the gun play, the murky washed out colors...just fuck everything about this game.

Dark Void. The jet pack can only make the game so enjoyable until everything else catches up to it and drags you down.

The Force Unleashed 2. ...how did they manage to take everything that was good about the first game and destroy them?

Sonic 06. Hey Sonic Team, why not release a finished game next time? Oh, and Silver was a terrible idea...and that cutscene that I refuse to mention. Seriously, this game was so bad it made me appreciate Shadow the Hedgehog: The Game.

 

[Emiscary]

Spore. Everything past phase 1 was downhill...

 

[The_Deleted]

Need For Speed: Unbounded:
I started off really enjoying the, like Bugbears previous Flatout games, they proved a challenge that felt fair and tough. For about 4 races. Then they proved to be fucking horrendous.

 

[mjc0961]

Okami
inFamous
Command and Conquer 4
Mafia

All of those games are just downright terrible.

Very well, no point talking the apathetic. I can only hope in the future you think before you post, not of a singular person but the community you're a part of and realise you'd be doing us all a favour by keeping dribble that will result into frivolous flame-wars (which are against the forums rules) away from The Escapist.

And maybe you should do the same before making a post like this that only serves to start one of those frivolous flame wars. Seriously, what other kind of reaction do you think you're going to get when you're such a massive asshole to people? The only thing posts like yours accomplish is other people calling you out on your bullshit, and thus your post is far more likely to be the cause of a flame war than this thread.