Gaming Limericks

[Kakujin]

Just for fun, get your inner kind of funny lazy poet on and give us your best game related limericks. Not all are works of gold, so keep it civil everybody, and remember to have fun!

Just to get you started:

There was this vampire hunter called Simon
Facing Dracula with a call of "C'mon!"
But since he jumped back
If he took an attack
Him winning was rather uncommon.

So I played this huge thing called Minecraft.
Seen by some as a new gaming life raft.
As the hours flew by,
I didn't see why.
Since what I mangaged was just a big shaft.

Now go make your own (hopefully better than these ^^")

 

[SonofaJohannes]

Giant blocks falling down
Lack of I's make you frown
Building a wall
With the blocks that fall
Spinning the blocks around

 

[StellarViking]

They don't all *quite* rhyme, but here are some



There once was a Spartan named Chief
His missions were never quite brief
At the end of his fight
His ears were alight
with "OMG FUK YOU U QUEEF"

A prisoner awoke on a boat
To a Dunmer with quite a sore throat
His companion's chest bare,
A foul scent in the air,
He wasn't out long, he had hoped.

A bombastic blonde hero named Duke
A cool guy, and badass to boot
In display of deliquency
With alarming frequency
Used his enemies necks when he pooped.

 

[Android2137]

The unfortunate test subject, Chell,
awoke in her "relaxation" cell.
Throughout the test,
she tried her best,
but did not escape very well...

 

[Cheesus333]

There once was a woman named Che-

The unfortunate test subject, Chell,
awoke in her "relaxation" cell.
Throughout the test,
she tried her best,
but did not escape very well...

FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU, SIR. Ninjas...

On a plane was a passenger: Jack
In his luggage, a bomb he had packed
In the city of Rapture
Little girls he did capture
And used them to fuel his attacks.

EDIT: Peter Molyneux named his game 'Fable'
But it seemed he was never quite able
To summon the proof
For what he called 'the truth'
Now they reckon his mind is "unstable"

EDIT 2: Cm'dr Shepard, a Spectre of note
Sailed the skies in a super-fast boat
His answer to challenges
Were his trigger phalanges
That he tightened to blow out their throats

I am having so much fun with this.

EDIT 3: Team Fortress is a game full of spies
Trust no-one, but look in the eyes
Behind a paper visage
Amidst the carnage
Sits the spy, with his masterful lies.

 

[Flailing Escapist]

There was a Spectre named Shepard,
his ship was as fast as a leopard.
When he wasn't a sleeper,
he was fucking a Reaper.
In ME3 he'll end up a leper.

Alan Wake lost his wife one night,
the experience gave him a fright.
He said, fuck that,
I'm going to Vegas.
He partied with all of his might.

You may have heard of 4 hero wanna-bes,
thought they'd try their luck with some zombies.
They're fucked, to be frank,
'cause there is more than one tank!
There is puke on my new Abercrombies!

There is an engineer named Issac,
pretty soon he could be a snack.
Necromorphs!
Necromorphs!
They snapped his leg with a crack.

There is a reviewer called Yahtzee,
some of his viewers think he's Nazi.
He curses a lot,
his best friends are bots.
But I'm afraid he might skewer me.

 

[Flailing Escapist]

Peter Molyneux named his game 'Fable'
But it seemed he was never quite able
To summon the proof
For what he called 'the truth'
Now they reckon his mind is "unstable"

Haha! Yes!

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

There was a man by the name Jack
And it turned out he was a total twat
In the world of Far Cry
the enemies are not shy
to spot you instantly and attack.

Lilith, Mordecai, Roland and Brick
sexy, suave, a professional and a dick
collecting guns, over and over
until you feel you're no longer sober
and don't hear when your mouse goes "click"

 

[BigDeadMushy]

there once was a cyborg named cyrax
installed with peculiar syntax
with kicks to the face
at astonishing pace
and destruction of earth at the climax

 

[Flailing Escapist]

There is a Grey Warden named Steve,
he's always a werewolve in the "eve".
He let out a roar,
it made a downpoar,
All the elves decided to leave.

Call me Hawke, if you please,
Templars saw my magical sneeze.
You see, I'm a mage,
now I'm stuck in a cage.
Too much lyrim a maka' me weeze.

 

[Flailing Escapist]

I once knew a jedi named Revan,
but he thought his name might be Kevin.
He fell on his head,
now his brain's pretty dead.
Revan? Kevin? He went up to heaven.

 

[Queen Michael]

There once was a fellow named Jim
who lived with the family Sim.
He'd go to the loo
but the player did, too
so the odds that he'd make it were slim.

 

[Scorched_Cascade]

A mercenary with class,
A fortune did amass,
Did questionable work,
For an unreasonable Jerk,
Their reward? A shot in the ass


The rebels in Brink,
One time did think,
To save the Ark,
and leave their mark,
the reactor? Gone in a blink.

 

[Flailing Escapist]

A robot assassin allergic to "meatbags",
bumped into a gang of "scallywags".
They thought he was dumb,
so he shot them a ton.
Now their corpses he smacks with his "teabags".

 

[Floppertje]

In a land, in the title unnamed,
the yanks fought terrorists inflamed.
but the nuke, it went boom,
a hero died in the shroom,
so now they're all very ashamed.

so the brits were under much stress,
to find the bad guy's address.
so they snuck around bushes,
gave the ruskies some pushes,
and brought the mission to a success.


BAM! double points

 

[Flailing Escapist]

A cowboy out in the west,
didn't wear a bulletproof vest.
All the police came,
and they knew his name.
He'll leave or he's under arrest.

 

[Scorched_Cascade]

Said a man called Chuck,
"Zombies again? F**k",
One juicer found,
With zombies around,
Red juice, Yuck

 

[DJDarque]

I don't know how good it is, but I'm contributing.

There once was a douchebag named Squall
Who danced with the belle of the ball
His team hired for protection
The girl fell under possesion
And now he must fight to save them all

 

[Kakujin]

You know this one guy called Link?
He is not as tough as you think
While he deals out the hurt
he does wear a skirt
And in one game his hair was pink

There is this game called WoW
Who made the competition ask "How?"
But when the expansion was lacking
And the fans started packing
The Rift folk said "We got you now!"

Heard of these guys called PopCap?
They make games that are a real snap.
Whether it's zombies on the lawn
or making jewels all gone.
They've got your grandma in the same trap.

 

[silver wolf009]

Aliens pour out from a forgotten ship.
Of a mans blood, they want to take a dip.
But they are screwed.
For Master Chief is that dude.
And he doesn't need a gun, he'll just kill them by thrusting his hip.

Two swords, one good one bad.
Nightmare and Siengfried, a battle is had.
But one they did not see.
One that dances with glee.
A fifty year old man, who's spine makes Linkara sad.