Gaming talk translated

[Nazulu]

Tons of new items & power-ups - Replacing the ones from before and are hardly any different.

We don't want your appetite to ever be satisfied, because when we satisfy you, it's time for us to go - Were corrupt and we came up with this dumb excuse to focus on piss poor quality games because they sell and we like money for hardly any effort.

Some of these are hilarious

 

[Hazy]

We've incorporated a new multiplayer system = People will ***** about our game not having enough replay value, so we decided to air on the safe side and throw this together, knowing that it may or may not be necessary.

Let's face it people - Not everything needs multiplayer.
[sub]/Fourth Wall Breaking[/sub]

 

[RanD00M]

New and interesting motion controls=Hope you like unresponsive and boring flailing of your arms.

 

[Jory]

It will be released on all major gaming platforms - Except Wii, which will get a game with a very similar title, piss poor graphics and crowbarred in waggle events

 

[chenry]

A new and innovative co-op experience = a brand new way to yell at your friends

challenging gameplay = our controls and camera suck, so the game is unnecessarily hard

 

[Lullabye]

anywhere in the title is found Hideyo Kojima's name=interactive movie

 

[Auron225]

Hundreds of different monsters and enemies = There's actually like 8, but they have about 30 different colour schemes!

 

[Animated Rope]

We want to reach a broader audience. = The game is more streamlined and unchallenging.

 

[Georgeman]

This game will move the genre forward=Same old game with a gimmick.

This game is art=We suck at creating gameplay-focused games, so we cram the game with bullshit non-gaming features creating a pretentious monstrosity.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

Now with multiplayer! = Shitty, tacked on multiplayer to appease the masses

 

[irmrbrian]

IGN recomended= We pay people to like our games

 

[etherlance]

"This game is for the PC and now for all consoles"- "you console users will only have half of the features the PC one has and you'll be damn grateful for it!!!"

"This is a redesign of a beutiful classic"- "so we basically raped it and gave you the self hating semen stained whore that you see today"

using an all new battle system- "Thats not yet finished"

 

[hopeneverdies]

20 challenging missions=Really only about 12 and they're pretty much all the same and easy.

 

[Xanadu84]

I wouldn't call it a, "Game" = I'm a pretentious douchebag who has lowered myself from on high, where the real art is, to your petty hobby to show you how it's done with a cool idea ruined by my hubris and poor designing skills.

 

[Desert Tiger]

The game will be released around August 2010 = Your grandchildren will still be receiving updates as to what time it's been pushed back to.

 

[TheEnglishman]

It's sort of like Sonic mixed with God of War: We have to sell this thing to people, oh hell, think of some popular games guys!

Bill Murray is in it = Bill Murray sat down for an afternoon in his underwear and read the script.

Bill Murray is in it = Wait, it's Billy Murray, never mind folks.
(that was actually more something I experienced when glancing at the cast list for MW2)

It's immersive, interactive, though provoking, philosophical = Look who's got a thesaurus!

 

[The DSM]

This has never been done before = It has been; its just no one has heard of the game thats done it first.

 

[ae86gamer]

It's an interactive movie! = It's almost not an actual game!

Heavy Rain!

DLC will be available the day the game is released. = Give us your money!

 

[Phenakist]

We've added MORE to the multiplayer = We ran out of story ideas so decided to add more imbalance to the multiplayer

 

[rockytheboxer]

Starring Vin Diesel = Hey, at least it's better than his movies.