I want you to take part in a little practical demonstration for me. I want you to find a pen or other similarly dimensioned object in the cheeto-scented detritus around your keyboard. Stop reading the review and get one. Seriously, do it. Don't keep reading waiting to see where I'm going with this, just do it. Right. Once you've got one, insert it between the second and third fingers of one of your hands (as is not shown here). Now when I'm finished talking, stop reading again, and use your other hand to squeeze your fingers inwards, towards the pen.
You may have noticed that this really fugging hurts and you are now in a great amount of pain.
Congratulations! You have just received your punishment for not buying Geneforge! I'd like to know how you think gaming his ever going to adapt as an art form if people go out of their way to make original games but fuckwits like you never buy them because they?re too busy inhaling furious amounts of d**k.
(If you did buy Geneforge, please disregard the preceding.)
Allow me to momentarily indulge in premeditated elaboration: For my sweet 100th, I figured I might as well take a stab at the elusive review, which has thus far evaded even my best endeavors. Very well:
Geneforge is a role-playing-game so reminiscent of the first two Fallout games that I wouldn't be surprised if the whole thing was merely an elaborate mod. In the confines of this particular game-world, you find yourself playing as a 'Shaper', a member of a mystical order of monk/mages, who through Pern-esque science and magic, have gained the ability to create life. You, in particular, are an apprentice shaper, who finds him/herself washed up on the shores of Sucia island, a long-abandoned and long-forbidden scientific outpost-- after pirates attack and kill your boat, of course (yeah, I said kill-- it was alive).
The island, in the some two centuries since the shapers decided to take a hike, has become populated with serviles--shaper-created humanoids-- and several billion other Shaper creations; all of which have become wild and rabid in your kind's absence.
Over the course of the game, you'll run into three servile tribes (the awakened, the obeyers, and the takers, as they are called) in addition to a few?extras. The entirety of the story revolves around your struggle to escape the island, alongside a host of alternate narratives and sidequests.
Similar to the aforementioned Fallout games, you control the action from an isometric perspective amidst a storm of 8-bit 2D graphics. While most intelligent NPCS start out peaceful (Albeit with a negative opinion of you) you have the ability to go Chuck Norris on them any time you like; it's also possible for them to openly declare war on you if you happen to say...assassinate their leader (which I had the great pleasure of doing).
An interesting twist to Geneforge's morality system is its complete lack of one--there are no karma meters, no light/dark side points, and none of the filthy black-and-white characterizations that come with such things. There's only the serviles' word-of-mouth that tips you off as to how they think of you...that, and the sword sticking out of your head. For example:
Another one of the things that make Geneforge so unique is its more or less complete lack of railroading (I couldn't find any, but you might be able to). You'll never have to surrender when you'd rather fight, you'll never have to do this when you prefer that?in fact, you don't even have to complete the main story; you can just find a boat at your earliest convenience and make headwind.
The combat system is solid, featuring an oddly familiar turn-based system and a host of spells, weapons, and vulgarities to use against your foes. At most, If not all times, you'll be aided by one (or six) 'creations', which Shapers can make using their own magical energies. Creature design is whimsical and useful, as well as being ridiculously cathartic at times--I mean, we've all wanted our own army of lighting breathing dragons at one point or another, right?
From the start, you'll have to choose which faceless, nameless mute you want to play as, and whether you want to look like a fruit while doing it. You'll be required to choose to specialize in magic, shaping, or stabbing people, and you'll level up skills and whatnot as time goes by.
The one complaint I have for this game is the aesthetic angle-- there's only one piece of music (heard on the title screen), and the graphics are about as advanced as (again) aforementioned Fallout. But that doesn't matter,honestly-- superb gameplay and story more than make up for shitty graphics and endlessly repeated sound loops.
In short, and less horrendously disjointed: Geneforge is an incredible indie that delivers a unique semi-sci-fi setting in an ugly, half-mute package. This game is not for tards, thickies, or those who enjoy being railroaded.
Recomendation: despite the magnificent ADD that this review was infused with, you should buy this game. You should buy it now or else you will burn in the deepest pits of hell.
NOTE: still can't figure out how to embed pictures.
Geneforge is a PC exclusive title by Spiderweb software. You can download it fom their website (www.spiderwebsoftware.com) or from any number of alternative sources
You may have noticed that this really fugging hurts and you are now in a great amount of pain.
Congratulations! You have just received your punishment for not buying Geneforge! I'd like to know how you think gaming his ever going to adapt as an art form if people go out of their way to make original games but fuckwits like you never buy them because they?re too busy inhaling furious amounts of d**k.
(If you did buy Geneforge, please disregard the preceding.)
Allow me to momentarily indulge in premeditated elaboration: For my sweet 100th, I figured I might as well take a stab at the elusive review, which has thus far evaded even my best endeavors. Very well:
Geneforge is a role-playing-game so reminiscent of the first two Fallout games that I wouldn't be surprised if the whole thing was merely an elaborate mod. In the confines of this particular game-world, you find yourself playing as a 'Shaper', a member of a mystical order of monk/mages, who through Pern-esque science and magic, have gained the ability to create life. You, in particular, are an apprentice shaper, who finds him/herself washed up on the shores of Sucia island, a long-abandoned and long-forbidden scientific outpost-- after pirates attack and kill your boat, of course (yeah, I said kill-- it was alive).
The island, in the some two centuries since the shapers decided to take a hike, has become populated with serviles--shaper-created humanoids-- and several billion other Shaper creations; all of which have become wild and rabid in your kind's absence.
Over the course of the game, you'll run into three servile tribes (the awakened, the obeyers, and the takers, as they are called) in addition to a few?extras. The entirety of the story revolves around your struggle to escape the island, alongside a host of alternate narratives and sidequests.
Similar to the aforementioned Fallout games, you control the action from an isometric perspective amidst a storm of 8-bit 2D graphics. While most intelligent NPCS start out peaceful (Albeit with a negative opinion of you) you have the ability to go Chuck Norris on them any time you like; it's also possible for them to openly declare war on you if you happen to say...assassinate their leader (which I had the great pleasure of doing).
An interesting twist to Geneforge's morality system is its complete lack of one--there are no karma meters, no light/dark side points, and none of the filthy black-and-white characterizations that come with such things. There's only the serviles' word-of-mouth that tips you off as to how they think of you...that, and the sword sticking out of your head. For example:
Late in the game, in order to learn from in order to infiltrate and assassinate , I bought myself favor with by killing off the 'good guy', as it were. However, because I had no intention of being evil, I was able to earn his trust and trick him into committing suicide. I then stole his boat and sailed back to the mainland.
Another one of the things that make Geneforge so unique is its more or less complete lack of railroading (I couldn't find any, but you might be able to). You'll never have to surrender when you'd rather fight, you'll never have to do this when you prefer that?in fact, you don't even have to complete the main story; you can just find a boat at your earliest convenience and make headwind.
The combat system is solid, featuring an oddly familiar turn-based system and a host of spells, weapons, and vulgarities to use against your foes. At most, If not all times, you'll be aided by one (or six) 'creations', which Shapers can make using their own magical energies. Creature design is whimsical and useful, as well as being ridiculously cathartic at times--I mean, we've all wanted our own army of lighting breathing dragons at one point or another, right?
From the start, you'll have to choose which faceless, nameless mute you want to play as, and whether you want to look like a fruit while doing it. You'll be required to choose to specialize in magic, shaping, or stabbing people, and you'll level up skills and whatnot as time goes by.
The one complaint I have for this game is the aesthetic angle-- there's only one piece of music (heard on the title screen), and the graphics are about as advanced as (again) aforementioned Fallout. But that doesn't matter,honestly-- superb gameplay and story more than make up for shitty graphics and endlessly repeated sound loops.
In short, and less horrendously disjointed: Geneforge is an incredible indie that delivers a unique semi-sci-fi setting in an ugly, half-mute package. This game is not for tards, thickies, or those who enjoy being railroaded.
Recomendation: despite the magnificent ADD that this review was infused with, you should buy this game. You should buy it now or else you will burn in the deepest pits of hell.
NOTE: still can't figure out how to embed pictures.
Geneforge is a PC exclusive title by Spiderweb software. You can download it fom their website (www.spiderwebsoftware.com) or from any number of alternative sources
