I start this review by saying that I am pretty fucked, only on alcohol this time...
Drag Me To Hell is THE single biggest disappointment I have ever experienced as a person who considers himself a lover of the horror genre. The premise was amazing - the director who brought me some of my favourite 'horror/comedy horror/comedy fantasy' films, combined with a story which sounded reasonably clive barker/steven king gothic, had to be a win situation. However, upon viewing for the first time, I actually could not bring myself to watch this fucking montrosity (for the wrong reasons) any longer than 3 quarters of the way through. I had my reasons. Which I shall detail
1. THE BIGGEST BY FAR:The 'husband/lover/boyfriend/whatever' is the geeky teenager from Die Hard 4.0. That is fucking ridiculous. Here we have a guy who, if there is rhyme and reason to existence, will play 'geeky teenager #6' for the rest of his acting career, and deserves no better based upon what little I have seen of his acting potential. What reason there is to him appearing here as a serious 'manly' character excapes me completely.
2. The plethora of generic 'oooh what's that!!!' false shock moments, which were kinda getting old 10 years ago. Truly the sign of ABSOLUTELY NO WRITING TALENT WHATSOEVER.
3. The established 'we should feel empathy for this character for no fucking reason other than he/she is the main character' syndrome, negating any solid basis such as back story. Indeed, the story makes me feel even less sympathy for the protagonist than the base line after she heartlessly denies a frail old woman an extension on her mortgage payment in order to further her own status within the company. ***** deserves to get cursed!
4. Even the 'real' shock moments were fucking tame. And riddled with SHIT CGI. For a horror movie ANY CGI is my new 'instant deduct 5 from score' issue.
5. This one was the one which caused me to stop watching and write this - they finally got round, after a ridiculous masquerade of modern 'horror film' techniques, to showing the trademark Evil Dead monster-cam. Way to poison some of my favourite cinema moments Raimi. You ****.
PS I stopped watching 3 quarters of the way through. If there was an amazing last quarter, I don't give a shit, as a good ending DOES NOT make up for a generic and shitty majority. And yes I would still suck Raimi off for the Evil Dead films. But now I'd think about biting it off....
4/10 and I'm feeling generous
Drag Me To Hell is THE single biggest disappointment I have ever experienced as a person who considers himself a lover of the horror genre. The premise was amazing - the director who brought me some of my favourite 'horror/comedy horror/comedy fantasy' films, combined with a story which sounded reasonably clive barker/steven king gothic, had to be a win situation. However, upon viewing for the first time, I actually could not bring myself to watch this fucking montrosity (for the wrong reasons) any longer than 3 quarters of the way through. I had my reasons. Which I shall detail
1. THE BIGGEST BY FAR:The 'husband/lover/boyfriend/whatever' is the geeky teenager from Die Hard 4.0. That is fucking ridiculous. Here we have a guy who, if there is rhyme and reason to existence, will play 'geeky teenager #6' for the rest of his acting career, and deserves no better based upon what little I have seen of his acting potential. What reason there is to him appearing here as a serious 'manly' character excapes me completely.
2. The plethora of generic 'oooh what's that!!!' false shock moments, which were kinda getting old 10 years ago. Truly the sign of ABSOLUTELY NO WRITING TALENT WHATSOEVER.
3. The established 'we should feel empathy for this character for no fucking reason other than he/she is the main character' syndrome, negating any solid basis such as back story. Indeed, the story makes me feel even less sympathy for the protagonist than the base line after she heartlessly denies a frail old woman an extension on her mortgage payment in order to further her own status within the company. ***** deserves to get cursed!
4. Even the 'real' shock moments were fucking tame. And riddled with SHIT CGI. For a horror movie ANY CGI is my new 'instant deduct 5 from score' issue.
5. This one was the one which caused me to stop watching and write this - they finally got round, after a ridiculous masquerade of modern 'horror film' techniques, to showing the trademark Evil Dead monster-cam. Way to poison some of my favourite cinema moments Raimi. You ****.
PS I stopped watching 3 quarters of the way through. If there was an amazing last quarter, I don't give a shit, as a good ending DOES NOT make up for a generic and shitty majority. And yes I would still suck Raimi off for the Evil Dead films. But now I'd think about biting it off....
4/10 and I'm feeling generous
