"Thank you mame," Augustus enunciated. "I'm given to understand that only the gentleman from NASA has had any previous usage and/or experience with photoplasmic technoligies? In any situation, I shall be instructing each of yourselves to properly activate this equipment. This - is a closed loop protonic amplification accelerator, mounted on a person-compatible weight distribution device with high-tensile straps for avoidance of damage. Regrettably, the previous team insisted on calling it the backpacks."
Augustus held up a metal box with shoulder straps roughly the size of, yes, a backpack. It's covered in readouts, venting ports and hums slightly. It seems safe.
"This apparatus is the neutrona wand, responsible for directing and restricting the flow of highly-charged protons that ghosts are so apprehensive of. It is important to never, ever cross the streams. I must stress that you never try it, as it is entirely likely that the entire 5-dimensional universe and surrounding branes will fail to exist and could possibly be replaced by a cheesecake. Any questions?"