Also, PM a mod to get this moved to the Advice Forum so you'll get more mature, helpful responses.Champthrax said:
Girl Advice
- Thread starter Reiper
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Yeah, like others have already stated, make it seem like it isn't a big deal, just two people hanging out.
Just relax, don't worry about it, she obviously saw some potential in you otherwise she wouldn't have asked after you. Even if things don't end up working out, it's no biggie, always another fish, yadda yadda yadda.
Just relax, don't worry about it, she obviously saw some potential in you otherwise she wouldn't have asked after you. Even if things don't end up working out, it's no biggie, always another fish, yadda yadda yadda.
There is a catch though. While it does have a 100% success rate, you forgot to mention the part about selling your soul to either Cthulhu or the CEO of Taco Bell. Without doing that, you must commit seppuku for dishonoring yourself and everyone you know.mireko said:
When one finds oneself faced with a possibly nerve wracking experience, this simple concept should remembered.Champthrax said:
Keep it simple, stupid.
Seriously, don't over think it. Plan where you wanna go, have a time and a day ready and ask that chick out. Don't rush through it like that one kid in public speaking class who was about to barf. Keep it slow and laid back. Don't speak more then you have to. Ladies don't like it when a guy runs his mouth like a machine gun. We have to be calm and collected as guys. Act sincere but not overly serious. Don't qualify*. Just say:
Hey, wanna [insert activity here]?
No need to even give her a time. If she responds positively, then give her a time. Women are not as complicated as those lame chick flicks will have you believe. There is a method to the madness.
*the act of making up excuses or reasons. Example: "Hey, since my roommate knows you and we like the same band, we should go to that coffee place down the road to study." That is exactly how not to do it. This whole statement (if you could call it that) made you look weak or unsure. While some women like this, most women don't. They may say they do but their subconsciousness is telling them they want a man.
Ask her to hang out in the same manner as you would any other friend. Something casual and that you'll both enjoy.
Make her feel like you're open to her making the next move during/after this time. If she seems like she wants to but is nervous/afraid, go to make a move, then pause. What happens next is up to your discretion.
Make her feel like you're open to her making the next move during/after this time. If she seems like she wants to but is nervous/afraid, go to make a move, then pause. What happens next is up to your discretion.
I had a girl I wanted to ask out a few days ago. She sits next to me and class, and while texting and FB were an option, in the end I felt it was best to do it in person. It's kind of like jumping off a diving board really high up. You have to stop thinking and just do it. I ended up just asking "Do you want to go out with me sometime, on a date?". I figured if she was interested, she'd say yes, if not, no. Simple and quick, the way I like it.
However, we'd hung out a few times before then, so this situation might be different than yours. And since you're doing in via text, you don't have to worry about being nervous, a huge plus.
However, we'd hung out a few times before then, so this situation might be different than yours. And since you're doing in via text, you don't have to worry about being nervous, a huge plus.
I suggest inviting her to something you're already doing, especially if it is a group thing. And if you can do it in a cool way, meaning just start talking about it and then say, "you might like it, you could come if you want," that would be a bonus. If she says no, then she hasn't said no to you, she said no to the event. The door is still open. Try the same strategy a few days later, if she says no again then there is a good possibility she isn't into you. This 'inviting her to a thing' is a good, low pressure way for her to say yes to spending some more time with you.
Agreed. If you invited her out, it is a polite thing to do to offer to pay. I also agree with all the other advice here along the lines of 'Just keep it simple and ask her (to her face, preferably) if she would like to have lunch/coffee with you'.AlphaEcho said:
Seriously, we girls are not (for the most part ;-) that complicated. I know I prefer it if a guy is pleasant and straightforward about things; good-natured confidence is very sexy.
Just remember it's far better to say something stupid than not say anything at all. If the conversation stalls just ask simple questions like "What's your favourite movie?", "Do you have any siblings?" or "Have you ever eaten a dirt sandwich?". Eventually you'll hit a topic where you each have enough to say that the conversation picks up again.Champthrax said:
Try not to make a big deal over how hot she is. It's nice to compliment her outfit or something, but if you're always staring at her and telling her she's hot you'll just creep her out.
Also, I don't know what BBM is but I assume it's some internet thing. Despite what Lilani said, if you've only ever spoken with text it's perfectly ok to ask her out with text. You don't have to ask for her phone number then call her just to ask her out.
I would say that a total of 5 to 7 minutes of non-face to face talking is not enough to ask her to even go and grab something to eat. Meet her in person, talk to her face to face and, after a couple of days, THEN ask her to grab a bite to eat, but DON'T call it a date.
Take it slow and steady. That's what I would do.
Take it slow and steady. That's what I would do.
So what you're saying is you hardly know her at all. Shouldn't you hang around with her a bit and see if you can carry a conversation that's longer than 5-7 minutes first? You seem kind of desperate, and it will get awkward if you rush into asking her out only to discover that you don't have anything in common. Everyone seems "nice enough" in short online conversations.
Edit: ninja'd by the person above me.
Edit: ninja'd by the person above me.
I don't think this is exactly right. I mean, every woman I've ever known platonicly has dated someone with confidence / alpha male type personalities. The two that I've dated probably count as people that broke that pattern. But, the ratio from my frame of reference seems skewed against this statement.Lilani said:
When going to ask her out, talk to her casually and in person. Remember the most important thing is to RELAX yet at the same time you want to be confident. You can do this by making eye contact and holding it, smiling when appropriate, and asking her questions. For example an easy one is "have you ever been to the coffehouse over in so and so?" Then ask her if she'd like to go check it out, but be sure to have a specific TIME in mind (shows that you're thoughtful and prepared). On the date itself make sure to keep things fun and lose. Don't be obnoxious but relax and let the mood be easy and fun. You can do this by again, asking her about herself, what she likes, and why (this will make her realize that you care about getting to know her) and also try to make her laugh a bit. You can do that by being a little self deprecating, and by that I DO NOT MEAN feel sorry for yourself but be willing to laugh at yourself a bit especially if you do something silly. You can also jokingly tease her a bit to get her to be responsive, however BE CAREFUL doing this as you don't want it to ever be mean-spirited sounding. Keep the mood light and fun, don't overthink things too much and be yourself.
I hope that helps and good luck!
I hope that helps and good luck!
The "dating out" events that worked for me where those were I didn't show interest in the girl.
Forget that she is nice. She is not your type. Keep saying that to you until you believe it. Take the "let's just be friends" approach and if you managed all that, then you can have lunch/dinner with her and she will be craving for your magic staff of penetration rather sooner than later.
Pro Tips:
Don't pay for both. Make some feministic genderspecific joke and let her pay to show that she is a strong woman.
Say something like:
"As soon as I pay for us both I want you to come to my place and ... [smile lewdly and let her finish the sentence] Oh I just meant showing you my stamp collection but if you insist [with the most innocent possible face you can muster]"
Later you can "accidentaly" pay for her and reply "OOps, I forgot. Now I have to go home and show you my stamp collection and do that other thing you proposed last time."
Forget that she is nice. She is not your type. Keep saying that to you until you believe it. Take the "let's just be friends" approach and if you managed all that, then you can have lunch/dinner with her and she will be craving for your magic staff of penetration rather sooner than later.
Pro Tips:
Don't pay for both. Make some feministic genderspecific joke and let her pay to show that she is a strong woman.
Say something like:
"As soon as I pay for us both I want you to come to my place and ... [smile lewdly and let her finish the sentence] Oh I just meant showing you my stamp collection but if you insist [with the most innocent possible face you can muster]"
Later you can "accidentaly" pay for her and reply "OOps, I forgot. Now I have to go home and show you my stamp collection and do that other thing you proposed last time."