ad5x5 said:
I wish more women were like you. (that wasn't a come on btw, just a statement of fact)
How do we learn this subtext and language? Is it a sort of trial and error thing or is there a book?
The most complex subtext we can understand goes along the lines of
'The other guy is drinking, so it's my turn to talk.'
seriously though, I struggle to interact well with most people, especially with people I don't know well. Someone who isn't clear about their intentions will generally be kept at arms length, which gives me a rep for being cold and distant.
Any advice?
(To OP: sorry about the hijack)
well most of them are standard stuff, i dunno the more "advanced" signals myself (since i never bothered with them) but for example:
- when she looks upset and you ask her what's wrong, and she says "nothing" , then you shouldn't stop. she wants you to comfort her. even if she says she doesn't want to be comforted repeatedly, insist. ask her what's wrong till she spills her guts.
if you don't, she'll think you don't care about her.
also if she complains about a person that did smth that upsets her, you should say she's right and that other person is stupid. girls are very pleased to hear that.
- if she's the needy type that you have to call all the time, don't wait for her to call you, call HER instead. she'll think you don't love her if you don't call her.
-she'll probably never ask for anything (unless she's a money-draining black hole), but will expect you to buy things for her. if you go to some jewelery shop with her, watch her reactions.
girls tend to like almost everything in the shop (but you of course can't buy this much), so wait till she's done looking at everything. see which object she fawns about the most and talk to her about why she likes it etc.
if it's not her absolute fave, she'll move on to another object.
you don't have to buy her an object if she just says "i want it".girls who REALLY want smth are very insistent.she'll nag you to buy the object she wants a hell of a lot.
so just buy that one.
other options are that she's the type that doesn't say what she wants. you should still buy the object she looks at or talks about the most, otherwise she can get upset because you DIDN'T buy the object she didn't ask for (confusing, eh?)
-some girls i've seen get upset if you talk about things she doesn't know (e.g video games) or if you hang out with friends and start talking about things she doesn't know.
but also, NEVER go out with these friends without her, she'll be stinkin' mad because she feels inferior to your friends.
(my advice would be to avoid these types of girls, but meh)
best solution would be spending lots of time with her alone watching and playing the games/movies you and your friends like. there's a good chance she won't like them, but she'll be very interested to know them so she can take part in your conversations.
-to sum up, most girls will never ever say what's on their mind.you should look at their face or gestures and if she looks upset, you'll have to do the best thing you know to cheer her up or comfort her.
also try to keep track of everything you say or do around her (i know it's hard, but you'll need it) because lots of tiny slip-ups are vital to her.try to backtrack and see what you did wrong (like i said, tiny things, so try to remember what you say to her) and apologize, give her an explanation she'd like to hear or if nothing helps, buy her smth/go out with her.
