Girl Problems...
- Thread starter LooK iTz Jinjo
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You my friend, have ended in the friend zone, if you always stand by her and comfort her whenever she needs it then you are probably not gonna be anything else than a friend..
You should neither get to pushy emotional and feelings wise towards her, nobody likes a moaner..
Stand on you own two feet, and when you get all touchy feely, dont admit it to her.
Take it up with friends, cause thats what they are there for..
It does not hurt at times to be a bit rude to her, do not comfort her every time she wants you to, but dont over do it.. If she knows she can step all over you, and litterally own your ass, she will never be nothing but friends..
You should neither get to pushy emotional and feelings wise towards her, nobody likes a moaner..
Stand on you own two feet, and when you get all touchy feely, dont admit it to her.
Take it up with friends, cause thats what they are there for..
It does not hurt at times to be a bit rude to her, do not comfort her every time she wants you to, but dont over do it.. If she knows she can step all over you, and litterally own your ass, she will never be nothing but friends..
ummm Let me be competely honest with you from someone whos been down that road a few times, on the female perspective.
After so long of being a guys friend, thats how they stay inless something changes. That usually doesnt happen inless you stray away from her for awhile or you help her out in a drastic situation, etc. you get what I'm saying? You will never be anything more than a friend inless something changers her mind.
Secondly, shes keeping you as a last resort, I think, by stringing you along by saying how shes into you yet doesnt act on it. The hurtful truth, women like to keep back ups for when all else fails. We want to know we are adored even though we have no intention of acting on it, sorry guys. This little 'pet' phase lasts all through jr high and some of high school. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm guessing the area where your still figuring out who you are and she is really lost on how to do this.
My best advice, is break free of her - for awhile. Dont sever the friendship you have going but take a step back. You need to show her your not her pet and if shes not going to be serious then you want to stay friends while you look for something real. Dont hang out as much, dont seem as interested as much, but still be their for her if she needs you.
Sadly, I'm telling you to act not interested, as much, and it will bring her back to wanting you. Nothing like having to recaputre prey - let me tell you.
^_^
and before all the female create a lynching party, I'm not saying all women are like this, but we all have our own phase of it in same form or another.
After so long of being a guys friend, thats how they stay inless something changes. That usually doesnt happen inless you stray away from her for awhile or you help her out in a drastic situation, etc. you get what I'm saying? You will never be anything more than a friend inless something changers her mind.
Secondly, shes keeping you as a last resort, I think, by stringing you along by saying how shes into you yet doesnt act on it. The hurtful truth, women like to keep back ups for when all else fails. We want to know we are adored even though we have no intention of acting on it, sorry guys. This little 'pet' phase lasts all through jr high and some of high school. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm guessing the area where your still figuring out who you are and she is really lost on how to do this.
My best advice, is break free of her - for awhile. Dont sever the friendship you have going but take a step back. You need to show her your not her pet and if shes not going to be serious then you want to stay friends while you look for something real. Dont hang out as much, dont seem as interested as much, but still be their for her if she needs you.
Sadly, I'm telling you to act not interested, as much, and it will bring her back to wanting you. Nothing like having to recaputre prey - let me tell you.
^_^
and before all the female create a lynching party, I'm not saying all women are like this, but we all have our own phase of it in same form or another.
Well, at the risk of repeating what others have said, I feel inclined to offer my own two cents.
There's always exceptions, but I would say there's a 99% chance she has absolutely no interest in a romantic relationship with you. As some here have stated, if she had interest you would be together now. I know that sucks (believe me, I know) but the sooner you accept that as reality and start looking for a great relationship with any of the other millions of incredible girls out there, the sooner you will be happy again.
I think it was shockingly inappropriate for her to share details about her exploits, friend or no. She knows how you feel about her and was leaning on you to make herself feel better. For that matter, I think she may be (possibly subconsciously) using you a little bit. When women (and men) get insecure, there's nothing quite like having someone of the opposite sex around who's totally enamored. It's a quick self esteem booster. She may have mentioned the "dry sex" purely to get a reaction from you. Does this make her manipulative? Absolutely. But it doesn't make her the "manipulative little *****" a lot of people have been saying. ALL people do crap like this at one point or another (Yes, even you, skeptical reader of my comment). The important thing is to not let it get to you.
If you want to still be friends with her, by all means do so. But please don't keep looking for a way to turn this into a relationship. Please ignore all the well-meaning but totally damaging advice to "be there for her and when she's ready you two will fall together". It's possible, but the odds are MUCH lower than you'd like to admit to yourself. Just be friends with her and start turning your romantic attentions elsewhere.
I'm going to repeat this one more time, because people tend to not follow this advice: GIVE UP ON MAKING HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Not saying it to be mean; you sound like a nice guy. But as I said above, the sooner you do this the happier you will be. I PROMISE.
There's always exceptions, but I would say there's a 99% chance she has absolutely no interest in a romantic relationship with you. As some here have stated, if she had interest you would be together now. I know that sucks (believe me, I know) but the sooner you accept that as reality and start looking for a great relationship with any of the other millions of incredible girls out there, the sooner you will be happy again.
I think it was shockingly inappropriate for her to share details about her exploits, friend or no. She knows how you feel about her and was leaning on you to make herself feel better. For that matter, I think she may be (possibly subconsciously) using you a little bit. When women (and men) get insecure, there's nothing quite like having someone of the opposite sex around who's totally enamored. It's a quick self esteem booster. She may have mentioned the "dry sex" purely to get a reaction from you. Does this make her manipulative? Absolutely. But it doesn't make her the "manipulative little *****" a lot of people have been saying. ALL people do crap like this at one point or another (Yes, even you, skeptical reader of my comment). The important thing is to not let it get to you.
If you want to still be friends with her, by all means do so. But please don't keep looking for a way to turn this into a relationship. Please ignore all the well-meaning but totally damaging advice to "be there for her and when she's ready you two will fall together". It's possible, but the odds are MUCH lower than you'd like to admit to yourself. Just be friends with her and start turning your romantic attentions elsewhere.
I'm going to repeat this one more time, because people tend to not follow this advice: GIVE UP ON MAKING HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Not saying it to be mean; you sound like a nice guy. But as I said above, the sooner you do this the happier you will be. I PROMISE.
I suggest waiting for a bit while both of you get into more of a 'happy' state. Let someone else be the friend, because if you do it, she will think of you as a shoulder to cry on. That is an eternal 'friend-zone' from which there is no escape. After that, work toward your goal VERY slowly. After a while, it should work out for the best.
However, I haven't fallen in love yet, so this may be crap advice. Don't blame me if it doesn't work! Good luck!
However, I haven't fallen in love yet, so this may be crap advice. Don't blame me if it doesn't work! Good luck!
As many, many others have already said - give up on the idea of being in a relationship with her. I don't know her, and it's difficult to pass judgement with such little information, but working off the information we do have, please for your own sake - move on.
The information she shared would, if I were in your position, make me feel a little ill. There was no need to pass on such info, and as such I can only assume she did it to simply see what you would say or how you'd react.
To be honest, it seems like she has a fair few issues at the moment, and from a purely selfish viewpoint, you really have to put yourself first.
If you want to keep her as a friend, fair enough. However, I'd strongly recommend you go find some other girl, there's plenty to choose from. Good luck.
The information she shared would, if I were in your position, make me feel a little ill. There was no need to pass on such info, and as such I can only assume she did it to simply see what you would say or how you'd react.
To be honest, it seems like she has a fair few issues at the moment, and from a purely selfish viewpoint, you really have to put yourself first.
If you want to keep her as a friend, fair enough. However, I'd strongly recommend you go find some other girl, there's plenty to choose from. Good luck.
I don't think she is worth your troubles - I had a similar case with a friend - I was in deep love with her for 2 years! She didn't want to be more than friends - I was depressed when she was dating others, and I never achieved anything with her - looking back it was all just a waste of my time - which is quite a sad thing when you think about the fact that this went on for 2 years :S - although I was younger and didn't have that much of an experience - I suggest to listen to the advice people give you - there are some great one's here also - it's much better to receive the truth earlier - then to learn the sad facts for yourself later on ...
I wish you the best - I would be happy if you succeeded
I wish you the best - I would be happy if you succeeded
SOME of high school? That implies that it is outgrown well before year 12... Yeah I'm 17 and in year 12 (so is she) just so you know. But honestly this is affecting nearly every aspect of my life. I've lost all motivation for school, gaming, the only thing I can still find this motivation to do is play football, that is it. I've gone from topping my school in I.T last year and class for legal studies as well as solid performances in maths, english and physics, to this year (the most important) where really I just look at that ever blinking cursor on my screen and just can't bring myself to type anything, I'm on like a D for 3 subjects.AnGeL.SLayer said:
So yeah kind of in a rut right now and if I want to do half decent at the end of year then I need to get out it, hence coming here...
I'm sorry hun, I really am. We all have been down this road, believe it or not. You will live through it, I'm not saying its as easy as that, but you will live and move on and one day when someone brings up her name you wille be slightly shocked that you had forgotten it or hadnt thought about her in awhile. If you've said all you have to say to her in ways of feelings and shes not responded openly and positively, the best thing you can do is to start moving on. What else can you do but waste your life over something that clearly wasnt meant to be? I know you think all this and tell your self this and everyone makes it seem so freaking easy but the best thing to do is just keep moving forward, dont stop and look back at what you think could have been, go make something real for yourself. Everyone deserves something and someone to call their own.LooK iTz Jinjo said:
^_^