Girl trouble

[franconbean]

A couple of Months ago, I met a girl while I was volunteering to work in the callcentre for an orgaisation called "Youth2Youth", which is a helpline for young people manned by young people. We take the same bus home and we smoke together after our shift (we have the same shift).

I really like her. I don't know how to go about things from now: I've fucked up every other chance I've had with a girl and I'm so scared that I will lose this on this one. Whenever I think about her, my chest wants to implode.

Long story short: I don't know what the hell to do.

 

[Ando85]

A couple of Months ago, I met a girl while I was volunteering to work in the callcentre for an orgaisation called "Youth2Youth", which is a helpline for young people manned by young people. We take the same bus home and we smoke together after our shift (we have the same shift).

I really like her. I don't know how to go about things from now: I've fucked up every other chance I've had with a girl and I'm so scared that I will lose this on this one. Whenever I think about her, my chest wants to implode.

Long story short: I don't know what the hell to do.

Try to just casually ask her if she would like to hang out sometime, do something like lunch, or just anything you can think of. You don't have to awkwardly tell her how interested you are in her. Just take it slow so you won't seem overbearing. If she agrees, great, and then just go from there. If she declines your offer, at least you will know.

However it might become a little complicated as often times when I ask a girl out they don't give me a straight answer, they say "maybe". After that had happened a few times I realized it just means "no, but I don't want to hurt your feelings".

 

[franconbean]

I dunno man : /
I'm really scared to make a move. I used to be confident, but after being rejected every time, its gone now and I'm scared to death of failing. I don't even think i have the stones to ask her to just hang out.

 

[Ando85]

I dunno man : /
I'm really scared to make a move. I used to be confident, but after being rejected every time, its gone now and I'm scared to death of failing. I don't even think i have the stones to ask her to just hang out.

It does take a lot of nerve, but you just sort of have to force yourself to do it. I've done it a few times and its very nerve wracking but afterward if she says yes its all worth it. If she declines, so what? At least you will know for sure. Logically speaking the best thing to do is go for it or you will miss the chance.

Also don't let declined offers in the past hold you back. This is a new woman to ask. If a lot of them rejected you before that doesn't mean this one will.

 

[endnuen]

One's biggest mistake is being too afraid to make one.

Next time you smoke together, just ask her out to do something you know she likes?
Or something fun, like ice-skating? Or a trip to a fun-fair.
Or what ever you can do around where you live.

 

[Hop-along Nussbaum]

That's not girl trouble. Ask her to go get some coffee and go from there. It's not rocket science, man.

 

[Erana]

I dunno man : /
I'm really scared to make a move. I used to be confident, but after being rejected every time, its gone now and I'm scared to death of failing.

Why?

If she's worth your time, she won't judge you for it.

 

[ParanoidAndroid]

Just ask her, she's a different person. Also, you'll regret it if you don't.

 

[franconbean]

Just ask her, she's a different person. Also, you'll regret it if you don't.

I know I'll regret it if I don't, and I'm scared I might regret it if i do an mess it up :/.
It kinda hurts just to think about it.

Also, you're Avatar cheered me up a bit

I dunno man : /
I'm really scared to make a move. I used to be confident, but after being rejected every time, its gone now and I'm scared to death of failing.

Why?

If she's worth your time, she won't judge you for it.

I'm sure she's worth my time. She volunteers for a helpline to help other young people (as previously mentioned) and she actually gets involved with the other stuff they do.

Example: Youth2Youth wanted some volunteers to come down to the London Marathon to support people running for the Charity. Only 8 of us turned up and she was there .

That's not girl trouble. Ask her to go get some coffee and go from there. It's not rocket science, man.

It bloody well is for me >.< . The old "Coffee thing" has never worked for me. Don't think that thought hasn't crossed my mind before.

 

[Dark Knifer]

Hmm, well you do need to get a moment to hang out with her or something. If she is interested then she'll say yes, but the regret for not asking is greater then the regret of it not working out in the end. Just try being casual at first, notice how she acts and things like that. If she smiles when she sees you, never seems awkward around you then it should be fine to ask her out. Just really pay attention to her and try and ask her to hang out sometime.

 

[Erana]

I dunno man : /
I'm really scared to make a move. I used to be confident, but after being rejected every time, its gone now and I'm scared to death of failing.

Why?

If she's worth your time, she won't judge you for it.

I'm sure she's worth my time. She volunteers for a helpline to help other young people (as previously mentioned) and she actually gets involved with the other stuff they do.

Example: Youth2Youth wanted some volunteers to come down to the London Marathon to support people running for the Charity. Only 8 of us turned up and she was there .

Then to quote last night's United States of Tara, "If you're not nervous, he's not worth it." Well, she in this case.

 

[MaxwellEdison]

Here's what you do. You keep talking to her. You invite her to do some shit she enjoys. Fair, coffee, whatever. If you're too scared, read some courage wolf.
After a while, if she seems receptive, ask her out. Again, read courage wolf if you need to.

I know how it feels now, since I've been there - it feels like it's basically impossible. But trust me, the one time she says yes will be the best moment. It's worth failing a couple of times to get there. Trust me.

 

[dkyros]

Really sounds like some solid advice posted before me. I would try talking to her more at your volunteer position and try to get a feel of what she likes. Make sure she's single (god I've been there and it sucks) and just act like yourself.

When I date I do it for keeps. I find no reason to date someone that isn't right for me. To be sure ask her out to coffee, go dutch if it feels like thats what she wants to do (dutch means you pay for yours and she pays for hers). Talk about your interest and gauge her reaction.

You don't pour out your soul on the first date, that is a HUGE mistake. Just let out little tidbits about yourself, you don't want to scare her away.

The trick is trying to read her emotions and what she's feeling. If you can, your practically golden and use time to your advantage. If you can't, just be honest or else its going to suck in a few months.

 

[SwiftBlade18]

you could play it cool and just say about hanging out at yours, maybe watch a dvd or something...

the great thing about this tactic is saying about watching a dvd almost never just means that...if you're in a relationship and say it 9/10 it means you're gonna have sex...in terms of dating its like saying im interested in you, want to hang out and see if anything happens?

thats my advice...currently though this tactic isn't working too well for me ^_^ its a little bit more complicated situation - however if it wasnt a complex situation i would so have a girlfriend...again

 

[franconbean]

you could play it cool and just say about hanging out at yours, maybe watch a dvd or something...

the great thing about this tactic is saying about watching a dvd almost never just means that...if you're in a relationship and say it 9/10 it means you're gonna have sex...in terms of dating its like saying im interested in you, want to hang out and see if anything happens?

thats my advice...currently though this tactic isn't working too well for me ^_^ its a little bit more complicated situation - however if it wasnt a complex situation i would so have a girlfriend...again

I don't have a house at the moment; I have a matress on the dining room floor of a relatives >.> so that can't really happen for me : /

 

[SwiftBlade18]

I don't have a house at the moment; I have a matress on the dining room floor of a relatives >.> so that can't really happen for me : /

dang...well in that case. Maybe try for something like saying about going to movies...only thing is it kinda limits social interaction so if you can manage to work in some drinks afterwards its all gooood. Who knows if you hit it off from that theres always a chance of a goodbye kiss...go in for the hug regardless of how shy you feel...if it doesnt feel right or you're unsure about chancing a kiss then a hug is like the middle ground...cos you get something and it shows you care.

on a side note- i like hugs, they are squeezy

 

[franconbean]

Try to just casually ask her if she would like to hang out sometime

Well, i met her today for Youth2Youth and after our shift, i asked her if she wanted to hang out.
She said yes! (progress! )
Though she did say she was busy on the coming weekend.
I'm really happy but also kinda worried that she might actually mean no : /
That would really fucking suck