I have an esophagus condition known as Barrett's esophagus. It is damage to the lining of the esophagus caused by chronic acid reflux. It puts me at a mild risk for esophageal cancer. It has been recommended to me to have a somewhat minor surgery that involves putting a mesh into my esophagus to prevent acid reflux. Up till now I had relied on omeperazole and antacids, but this surgery could help a lot.
Although it is always hoped for one's significant other and one's mother to get along it is often not the case. Due to some things I have told my girlfriend about my mother she strongly dislikes her. My girlfriend believes my mother does not care about me at all. I can understand how certain things have led her to believe that and I can agree with her about some things but I do think she is exaggerating to at least some degree. But, regardless my girlfriend says she feels extremely uneasy around her and doesn't want to be around her. Therefore my girlfriend does not want to have to be around with her especially alone all day when I have surgery. Both my mother and girlfriend have fairly severe anxiety issues. I know either one of them would be in quite distress if they weren't around for it.
I tried to nicely convince my mother that it would be alright and that my girlfriend could text her to keep her updated on things. However, due to my mother's anxiety issues I also understand that my mother would be very much in distress. Due to how my girlfriend percieves my mother she does not actaully believe she would have the problems she would if she was not at the hospital during the surgery.
This puts me in a complicated situation. It seems like I would have to upset my mother and cause her the distress of not being at the hospital despite the fact that she knows that I know what kind of issues she has. Also in doing this I do not want my mother to find out the reason is because my girlfriend strongly dislikes her and doesn't want to be around her. I know one is supposed to take their significant other's side in these type of situations. I have attempted to do so with minimal conflict between me and my mother and to avoid letting her know my girlfriend strongly dislikes her. However, it seems the only way to make that happen would be to highly upset my mother as well as put her through the stress and worry. It would also be rather bad that I could possibly strongly upset my mother and have the situation not even be changed anyway.
What complicates matters is that I am unfortunately still financially dependent on my mother. If I was to cut off contact from my mother completely I wouldn't even be having surgery to begin with and that would become the least of my worries. I had previously suggested to my girlfriend that I'd just cancel the surgery as it wasn't worth the stress this was causing. At times my girlfriend would get rather upset and angry and suggest she cannot be with me due to feeling my mother has too much control over me. I certainly would rather not have surgery than have my girlfriend break up with me over it. But, my girlfriend would also get mad when I would suggest that as it would simply be jeopardizing my health due to my mothers control. So, that doesn't seem to be an option either.
At this point I cannot think of the best possible solution. I would like to convince my mother to not attend without making her too angry, or know that it is because my girlfriend dislikes her. I not only care about my mothers feelings even though my girlfriend believes she does not have them but even if I didn't it could create financial troubles for me due to my situation. Any advice would be appreciated.
Although it is always hoped for one's significant other and one's mother to get along it is often not the case. Due to some things I have told my girlfriend about my mother she strongly dislikes her. My girlfriend believes my mother does not care about me at all. I can understand how certain things have led her to believe that and I can agree with her about some things but I do think she is exaggerating to at least some degree. But, regardless my girlfriend says she feels extremely uneasy around her and doesn't want to be around her. Therefore my girlfriend does not want to have to be around with her especially alone all day when I have surgery. Both my mother and girlfriend have fairly severe anxiety issues. I know either one of them would be in quite distress if they weren't around for it.
I tried to nicely convince my mother that it would be alright and that my girlfriend could text her to keep her updated on things. However, due to my mother's anxiety issues I also understand that my mother would be very much in distress. Due to how my girlfriend percieves my mother she does not actaully believe she would have the problems she would if she was not at the hospital during the surgery.
This puts me in a complicated situation. It seems like I would have to upset my mother and cause her the distress of not being at the hospital despite the fact that she knows that I know what kind of issues she has. Also in doing this I do not want my mother to find out the reason is because my girlfriend strongly dislikes her and doesn't want to be around her. I know one is supposed to take their significant other's side in these type of situations. I have attempted to do so with minimal conflict between me and my mother and to avoid letting her know my girlfriend strongly dislikes her. However, it seems the only way to make that happen would be to highly upset my mother as well as put her through the stress and worry. It would also be rather bad that I could possibly strongly upset my mother and have the situation not even be changed anyway.
What complicates matters is that I am unfortunately still financially dependent on my mother. If I was to cut off contact from my mother completely I wouldn't even be having surgery to begin with and that would become the least of my worries. I had previously suggested to my girlfriend that I'd just cancel the surgery as it wasn't worth the stress this was causing. At times my girlfriend would get rather upset and angry and suggest she cannot be with me due to feeling my mother has too much control over me. I certainly would rather not have surgery than have my girlfriend break up with me over it. But, my girlfriend would also get mad when I would suggest that as it would simply be jeopardizing my health due to my mothers control. So, that doesn't seem to be an option either.
At this point I cannot think of the best possible solution. I would like to convince my mother to not attend without making her too angry, or know that it is because my girlfriend dislikes her. I not only care about my mothers feelings even though my girlfriend believes she does not have them but even if I didn't it could create financial troubles for me due to my situation. Any advice would be appreciated.
