Girlfriend.

[The_Healer]

Im of the same mindset as you, where i just wait for it to happen...and oh boy does it happen, i went a stretch where i wasnt single for 8 straight years....i literally stumble into relationships when i dont want them...ugh poor me.

Oh metatron you poor bloke! You must have been in councilling for years!

OT: Just be generally nice and play to your strengths if you meet a girl you like. Do not go out of your way to try to impress her though, because that usually ends badly.
It doesnt always make sense when a girl starts to really like you (my girlfriends first positive memory of me is me covering her in sweat on a basketball court) but it sometimes works out in the end.

I wish you good luck.

Ps. Don't try to work out how girls think, your head will implode.

 

[Lunkis]

Coming from a seventeen year old passive guy who's been in a happy relationship for 15 months,
Girlfriends aren't a thing you should rush into.

Yeah, you need to take some initiative and make it happen, but don't go head-first.

 

[quantum mechanic]

Well, I'm 17 and just (a few months ago) got into my first relationship...it just sort of happened. I never really wanted one, but now I'm stuck because I don't want to make him feel bad.

The moral? Enjoy being single.

 

[InquisitorRaekan]

I have been a long time observer of escapist forums and have finally decided to jump on in.

I am seventeen and I've never had a girlfriend (I'll take a moment to wait for the gasps to subside). None of my friends can see any obvious reasons why I have never managed to have one--I have many friends and frequently associate with members of the female variety--but I think I know why. I am a generally passive guy and I've always believed that relationships just 'happen.' Like you run into some girl, start talking, this leads to that, etc. However, I am always stuck with the same group of people... So I was wondering: Is a girlfriend something that needs to be worked at, or does it just happen? I'm inclinded to believe it happens both ways, but when does working at it too hard become creepy? I'm not totally naive, I know things don't 'just happen,' but I think you guys know what I mean.

I'm literally in the exact, EXACT, same boat as you. This is a thank you to all posters, helping more individuals than you realize.(most people in the same situation aren't going to post admitting it)

 

[xDarc]

Find someone you like, go for it, and if it doesn't work just try again.
Trial and Erorr man.

Perhaps we can't all be quite as resilient as we'd like to be.

There's no other way. You have to be outgoing and proactive. You don't go running around looking for "girlfriends." That's desperation and they can smell that, that and fear. But do say hello to girls, chat a bit, get to know them as an individual. If there's something there- it will happen. If nothing happens, nothings there.

You can force it- sure. But only the guys who are too hung up on a nothing-special-about-her girl or guys with ridiculously high standards do this. That's why there's a "friend zone." Not because being friends with girls is a bad idea; but because people can't get over the limitations they've reached in a friendship.

It's trial and error. Rinse and repeat. Rub some dirt on it, you'll be ok.