Glutton for punishment

[johnsom]

What is your go to comeback? Keep it cleanish please.

Edit: Ok lets ramp this up a bit. Any comeback you were particularly proud of?

 

[octafish]

No, You are.

 

[Kermi]

I use the "you are" retort but so ironically that I intentionally use the lamest option available to me - because I'm trying to emphasize how unmotivated I am to actually be insulting and it annoys my wife.

For instance, she'll hold up an empty pill bottle or something and call it her "used gum receptacle".
I'll say "you're used gum".
It enrages her, because I had a perfect opportunity to say "you're a receptable" which is far more cutting and chock full of double entendre, but I wasted it. That's just not my style man.

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

I'm one of those people who will think of a brilliant and biting retort about a day later after the insult.

I get lucky some days though.

 

[Eumersian]

I'm one of those people who will think of a brilliant and biting retort about a day later after the insult.

I get lucky some days though.

You should record all of those brilliant comebacks in a journal or something. Then, when the issue comes up again, you have it in your head.

OT: I usually twist what they said (similar to "you're slow=your face is slow") into something completely different. This often confuses people, and they stop talking, as in:

"You're not very good at this are you?"
"Yeah, well you have no friends." *jerks head forward*

 

[Calico93]

Ill just agree really aggresively and flail my face slightly
"Well then! .. YEAH .. Great"