Going too fast (sexualy)?

[rutger5000]

Before I raise the question I want to ask, I need to give some info about myself.
I'm a 20 year old MALE student, that lives in student dorms. (The university does not instill any rules about what happens in the dorms though). I'm still a virgin and have no real romantical experience. I consider myself to be a social and confident person though.
Now to the real question.
Yesterday I had my first real date, with a girl I hardly knew (she 23 years old has a lot more experience then I have). We had a very good time, and we agreed to have another date. After the date I took her to my place. And I honestly did it with the completly innocent intention of just giving her a place to sleep. Having people sleep over is a very common thing for me regardless of age,race sex and wetter I actual know the person or not. (I'm part of an international organisation that lets others from that organization sleep at their place. So I've had a dozen girls sleeping at my place.)
After we had been at my place for two hours or so things were not that innocent anymore though, and we went as far as we could possibly go without me losing my virginity. We did not have intercourse (that's about the only thing we didn't do) because I promised her she could spend the night at my place without that happening, and I'm not one to break promises. Now I like this girl and I don't regret what we did, but it's all going a bit too fast for me. The person I was wants to take things a bit slower, but the person that just had 4 amazing hours of fun on the bed want to go further though.
In short I would like to continuing to date this girl, but I'm not sure if I want to have our sexual relation develop that quickly. Now the key words here are I'm not sure. If I had been sure that I don't want to go that fast, then things would have been easy. I would just talk to the girl, and say I want to take things slower. But I'm not sure!!! I'm just really confused.
Should I man up and STOP letting my dick do the thinking, or should I be honest to what I want?
Other relevant info. Before the date we've only met once and talked for an hour or so, she knows I'm a virgin, there was no alcohol involved (she doesn't drink, and I don't drink much), she showed some damm clear signs of wanting to go further and I don't give a FLYING RATS ASS ABOUT LOSING MY VIRGINITY OR NOT.

 

[capin Rob]

do it, but remember, don't be a fool, wrap your tool, if you really like her, then do it, it's your collage years man, be wild/

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

If you have to ask, you probably are.

 

[Simalacrum]

Only go further if you feel comfortable with it dude. If you want to take things slower, then that is perfectly fine and understandable. Do keep in mind that letting your dick do the talking (as you put it ) can sometimes lead to problems later down the line - I've done so before aaand the person I was going out with turned out to be a bit of a ***** =\ which is one thing you should consider, actually - learning to trust her as a person before having sex with her might be a good idea.

Still, in the end it's your choice. After all in a relationship both sides need to be consensual for such things to really work out. Just think it through, and if you think you can trust her and you think it will be worth it, go for it! Just remember to use protection and whatnot as well

Me, personally? From my own experiences with sex, I would take things a tad slower. However, that's just me, and the final decision should be yours and yours only.

Hope this helped!

 

[New Troll]

Just remember one thing, do it once and it becomes a thousand times more frustrating during dry spells. If you think it's just going to be some fooling around time with this one, then a wait for miss right, then it might be more in your best interest to just hold off till the day she comes.

If you're like me, sex for the sake of having sex isn't what I'm about. I want to make love to the one I love.

 

[Gekkeiju]

I know people go on about waiting for the right person and it all being sunshine and rainbows, but i dont think Ive ever met anyone that it applied to D:
I waited and put off losing mine for quite some time and then started thinking 'what am i waiting for really?'. I think you just have to bite the bullet and go for it-and then afterwards you'll probably be walking around with a grin on your face for a while..

Good luck

 

[Terminal Blue]

Your thought processes right now is the reason very few girls will want to sleep with virgins. You're way too focused on developing an emotional connection which, at this stage, you don't necessarily need. You will only learn the emotional side of sex through trial and error.

If you try and make it an important or special moment, it will inevitably disappoint you by being awkward, embarrassing and generally nothing like Hollywood says it should be. The best way to do it, in my opinion, is in a fairly light-hearted context where you aren't going to bond to this girl like a baby duckling, because that's really awkward and can lead to a lot of emotional pain down the line.

Losing your virginity isn't something you remember and treasure all your life (not most of the time anyway). Your first kiss, sure, but losing your virginity will never be as unadulteratedly good or special as you probably think it will. Even just the basic mechanical realities take time and practice to learn.

Switch your brain off for a while and just listen to your dick. Your dick may be a bit of a dick sometimes, but he has your best interests at heart. Your brain will only over-think situations like this.

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

Do whatever you want. If your still hesitating but not giving a damn about your virginity, then subconsiously you still are. Personally, sont waste your life with the whole "Waiting for the right person" bullshit. Ther is no right person, never has been. I waited till I was 17 beliving that, and the way the world is today, It was a stupid dream.

tl;dr - your 20+, enjoy life and dont give a damn. (and use a rubber)

 

[ramboondiea]

sex is not a big deal, should the opitunity present itself and your in the mood just go for it, in this case it seems your were just not in the mood for it and its no big deal.
however your overthinking the whole moving too fast thing- theres no such thing as moving too fast, its too subjective,

so in summery, if you want to have sex just do it, if you dont, if theres any doudt im willing to bet that you actually want to but feeling nervous. just keep the immortal words of van wilder "dont be a fool, wrap your tool" ha

 

[Girl With One Eye]

Well I would say it would be better to take things slow. First of all it will show her that you're interested in her and not just losing your virginity, and you will also be much more comfortable during your first time if you are more comfortable with her.

 

[quiet_samurai]

Which do you want more?

Okay interesting.

Now go do it.


I know you sure as hell want one more then the other.

 

[Shycte]

Well, if you like her I think you shoul do it. If you didn't want to do it you would be here.

 

[rutger5000]

To everybody who posted here: Thanks for the advice! It really helped to get my stuff back together and remember who I am and how I want to live my life. I already knew how "I" should act here (The "I" is referring to me, it might be better for some people to act differently). But I think I just got nervous and forgot. Really thank you guys a lot, made my life a lot more simple
I still don't know how to delete a thread.