Great historical oddball questions?

[SimuLord]

A couple of semesters back, I took Core Humanities 201 (Ancient/Medieval Societies Prehistory-1500), and one thing that jumped out at me was some of the weirder "firsts" in ancient history. Y'know, stuff like...

Plant Domestication and the Birth of Farming
"Dude, that seed is HUGE! Score! Let's eat it!"
"No way, man, I'm gonna put it in the ground. It's gonna grow and give us TONS of big seeds next year!"
"Fuck you, I'm hungry now!"

The Invention of Cheese
"Eeew, the milk went bad! It's all chunky and stuff." (squeezes curds together) "What'll you give me if I eat this?"
"Dude, don't be gross."
(pops it into his mouth) "Whoa...that's actually pretty good. You want some?"

Iron Working
"Throw that red rock in the fire."
"Why?"
"Dude, do it! I wanna try something."
"OK, but it's just a rock."
"Whoa. Heavy metal, dude!" *plays air lute*

The Invention of Trade
"Oh man...got a wicked good grain crop this year. I bet I won't even be able to eat it all. I rule at farming. Don't have a damn thing to carry it around in, though. What am I gonna do?"
"All these baskets. I am so awesome at making these. Fat lot of good this weaving skill does me, though, I'm hungry."
"Dude, wanna trade? I'll give you my extra wheat so I don't have to just pile it up in the corner. Just gimme a couple of those baskets."
"Deal!"

OK, forumites. Your turn. Any other things from history that make you wonder just who thought of it first and how they convinced everyone else it was a good idea? (and why yes, I did leave the invention of religion off the list. Go ahead!)

 

[cmalberg]

Take a step back from cheese. I know it's out there somewhere, but I don't remember where...who decided that they were going to squeeze those things and drink whatever comes out. Milk is kinda weird.

 

[Agent_Nahmen_Jayden]

Well, I always wondered what the guy who got milk from the cow was thinking. "I'm gonna squeeze these squishy pink things under this huge animal and drink whatever comes out!"

Edit: My first time ninja'd.

How about Easter? How is a bunny and colorful eggs relevant at all to Jesus? What about holidays in general?

Here, a video to better explain:

Spoiler: Jim Gaffigan

 

[hittite]

Did you know that the guy who invented gunpowder was working on the elixer of life?

"Hey, I bet if I get the 3 most flammable things I can find and mix 'em together it will totally make me live forever. Hey y'all, watch this."

 

[Serenegoose]

Bread always confused the hell out of me.

So, we're going to take this wheat.... mix it all up with this yeast (delicious) add some water and stuff... stir that nonsense up and shove it in the oven. AWESOME.

 

[dex-dex]

the thought that milk is good sounds like a guy who had a cow ans dared one of his friends to drink it.
i also got a giggle out of the cheese one.
you wonder

 

[Staticous]

I've got one. Eggs

Hey! Look what just came out of the chicken's ass! Wanna eat it?

 

[cmalberg]

Bread always confused the hell out of me.

So, we're going to take this wheat.... mix it all up with this yeast (delicious) add some water and stuff... stir that nonsense up and shove it in the oven. AWESOME.

Actually bread makes sense when you think about wild yeast. Having it rise was just a surprise.

 

[hittite]

Well, I always wondered what the guy who got milk from the cow was thinking. "I'm gonna squeeze these squishy pink things under this huge animal and drink whatever comes out!"

No fair stealing from Calvin and Hobbes.

 

[KEM10]

I have two words for you guys: raw oysters.

Someone must have been starving.
But milk isn't that hard to picture. All you need is a young calf that died and the mother to be CONSTANTLY mooing cause her utters hurt. If you don't believe me, go to a milking farm and ask them. They will stay up all night bleating until they get milked.

 

[Toaster Hunter]

Alcohol- the first known type was beer from Egypt

"Hey dude, this grain is rotten and smells wired"
"I'll give you ten coppers to drink it"
"Sure... DUDE, THIS STUFF IS AWESOME"

 

[Agent_Nahmen_Jayden]

Well, I always wondered what the guy who got milk from the cow was thinking. "I'm gonna squeeze these squishy pink things under this huge animal and drink whatever comes out!"

No fair stealing from Calvin and Hobbes.

But...I love Calvin and Hobbes. I'm not an original guy, don't expect me to be. I ride the success of others to impress people I don't know on the Internet damn it! ^_^

 

[SimuLord]

It's been theorized that man invented beer before he invented bread. I think it was a lot like the cheese situation:

Step 1: "Fuck, I forgot to take this basket of barley in and now it rained. That's gonna rot on me."

Step 2: "Whoa, never seen that before. It's all foamy and shit. Think I'll watch this for awhile."

Step 3: "That actually...smells kinda good. And it's not like you can get any decent water around here, not unless I want to drink Amun's cholera shit...fucker needs to stop shitting in the Nile, we drink from that."

Step 4: "OK, that was fucking awesome. Hey Thutnefer, you want in on this?"

Step 5: "Dude, I am gonna get so rich selling this. Wait, what do you mean we haven't invented currency yet? Fucking pharaoh, still using barter and commodities for exchange. Get me some fucking gold."

 

[hittite]

Lawns. I remember reading somewhere that they were basically just a way of saying "Hey, look at me. I'm rich enough I can have a patch of land that is useless for growing food and in fact is a drain on time and resources. Woo! This is what it means to be rich."

 

[photog212]

 

[LogicNProportion]

The Invention of Modern Gum:
Back when General Santana was exiled from Mexico, he came to the US. Now, Santana had brought with him a rubber substitute, which he kept in storage near his house. On numerous occasions, Santana's neighbor's kid would come on over, break into the stores, and chew on the rubber substitute (don't ask me why). First, the neighbor scolded his child, but soon realized the properties of the substitute, and got some from Santana.

Thus, gum as we know it.

 

[diego_2112]

Penicillin. Seriously:

"Laddy, c'mere and haav a gander! Dont that jus' look terrible?"
"Aye, thaat it dose, lad, and some bang of benjy come off, that's no mistake."
"C'mer, I'm havin' a brain ta shoot it in'ta yer arm!"
"STALL THE BALL THERE LAD, WHAT'CHER TALKIN' CRAZY?"
"NO lad, it'll be grand! Ya seed ya been feelin' down in'tha shitpit!"
"Quit actin' a right propper magg-OWW!!!"
"Right, how's that?"
"*Cold cocks Fleming* Better, ya bombay shithawk... Luck ya are I'm not banjanxed right proper..."

And obvoiusly, that's how it all went down!

 

[SimuLord]

God.

Lawn gnomes. Boomerangs.

Pickles/pickled foods:
"Dude, check out all of these vegetables I just found!"
"How about you put them in this barrel of salt water?"

"Ah, fuck it, they're just gonna go bad anyway, why the fuck not?"

 

[Liam1390]

I've always wondered how people first found out about chocolate or coffee. How did they figure first figure out the complex process of drying and roasting them so they're somewhat palatable. Also pineapples, who the hell took a look at that and said I'm going to eat that.

 

[tigermilk]

Hmmm... I bet if I sharpen this stick/chip at this stone I can hurt someone with it.

My knowledge of history starts in 1832 (English 1832 New Poor Law) so not sure if that is how it happened, or more accuratly how it is taught.