Greetings, Loyal Subjects

[Doctor Chaotica]

Rejoice, Citizens of The Escapist; I, Doctor Chaotica, your new ruler, announce my arrival.
As I have recently freed some small amount of time from my schedule after successfully conquering the Fifth Dimension, I have decided to grace this forum with my presence, unworthy though it may be. As you are no doubt aware, I hold claim to many titles, but for the most part you may refer to me as Ruler of the Cosmos. As of course my empire requires constant maintenance, and those I employ are quite so dreadfully incompetent as to require constant reprimand, I may not find a great deal of time to post here, but I may choose to post the occasional topic when I so decide.

In addition, if any of you wish to present some token of appreciation for my deeming you worthy of attention, you may send this to my Fortress of Doom on planet X; but be warned, any hostile act will be met with force most severe, and for a community of such promise to be consigned to the mines of Mercury would be a pity indeed - and bear in mind that there are even worse fates in my Dungeon of Pain reserved for those that truly seek to cause me inconvenience.

 

[Marter]

Okay.

Welcome then.

 

[reg42]

Hello good sir. Would you like some tea?

 

[JEBWrench]

*snip*Ruler of the Cosmos. *snip*

So, you're this guy:

Spoiler

Anyways, welcome to The Escapist, comrade.

 

[DividedUnity]

Wow I bet you cracked yourself up writing that. Really dude. Its not funny

 

[Hazy]

'Sup, new guy. Welcome to The Escapist.
Just stay out of the basement. And you might wanna take a look at these [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.116827-These-forums-and-you-Forum-Posting-Guidelines].

That's about it, nice to see another new face.

 

[Maltyz]

I bow down before you!
Now may I have a cookie?

 

[The_ModeRazor]

'Sup.
Oh, and I didn't read after the first line, smelled kinda lame.
To be precise, it was so fucking not funny that I facepalmed. Hope your next thread will be a little more interesting.

 

[Jedoro]

Welcome, but don't you have to overthrow the previous ruler to become the new one?

Seeing as how I don't even know who it is, good luck with that.

 

[Doctor Chaotica]

As people of your limited stature, it is perhaps to be understood that you might not know the proper procedure for addressing me; you can hardly have had experience. With this considered, I shall forgive this lapse in conduct. Once.

For future reference, when addressing the mighty Doctor Chaotica, you shall kneel at all times unless I explicity give permission otherwise; you may think you are safe behind your computer screen, and that I cannot see you. You are blatantly incorrect, as you may find out to your disadvantage should you ignore this. You shall refer to me as "Your Majesty", though "My Lord" is also acceptable; you are entirely free to choose.

Finally, if you should dare to ask something of me - a course of action I strongly advise against - then you should at very least have the decency to grovel correctly, various guides of which are available both online and from my personal publishers (see leaflet: "Tremble Before Him: Addressing the Supreme Ruler")

 

[cuddly_tomato]

Hi.

Before this thread is done I would like to muse on something; the pain one feels when one plucks a nostril hair is "tangy", and it makes ones eyes water.

Why is that?

 

[Dok Zombie]

This will get old quickly.

 

[Maltyz]

I dont understand a fucking thing he just said!

 

[Neonbob]

Hm. Well, that was certainly stylish. Welcome to the Escapist.
Unfortunately, we have Souplex as a self-proclaimed god here...and he's pretty good at godmodding too.
Anyway!
Hazy beat me to the guidlines, so just be sure to take a look at them, and enjoy the site!

 

[El Poncho]

I think he is trying to troll us, expecting us to scream at him about him not being our leader.

 

[Sanquinius96]

I guess every community needs a loony ^_^

 

[CloudKiller]

Cool story bro.

Now wipe your feet on the way in, the carpet doesn't clean itself

 

[Dudemeister]

Well...hello.
Just a note; I don't accept anyone who makes jokes as bad as that as my leader.
Try to be funny next time please.

 

[cuddly_tomato]

Hm. Well, that was certainly stylish. Welcome to the Escapist.
Unfortunately, we have Souplex as a self-proclaimed god here...and he's pretty good at godmodding too.
Anyway!
Hazy beat me to the guidlines, so just be sure to take a look at them, and enjoy the site!

How in the name of Pope Benedicts unused testacles did you get nearly thirty thousand posts without me quoting you even once?

That changes NOW dammit!

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

I certainly feel welcome in this new regime at any rate. Just so long as my Lord Mountbatten avatar gets to lounge around being lordly, without really doing anything of much worth, I'm quite happy.