Grow a Goddamned Skin!!!
- Thread starter Saulkar
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I got hit hard with all matters of crap early on between the ages of 11 and 14. At first I lashed out/broke down, but after a couple years I started to identify similarities in the insults. Taking time to pick apart what people are saying and comparing it with things you've heard in the past can help you identify whether or not what the person is saying is of any relevant value. If you've heard it before a million times, it's either something you need to pay the fuck attention to, OR the ramblings of a barely functional society. Typically the latter.
Finding a group of people or even a single person with many commonalities to you can speed this process along. Of course, finding said people is a great challenge. The internet is vast and unfortunately, vastly full of shitty people. It's in your best interests to ignore these people and pay attention to the ones that don't act like complete dicklords.
Finding a group of people or even a single person with many commonalities to you can speed this process along. Of course, finding said people is a great challenge. The internet is vast and unfortunately, vastly full of shitty people. It's in your best interests to ignore these people and pay attention to the ones that don't act like complete dicklords.
You win this thread.twaddle said:
Two tips that come to mind in helping to build your skin is 1. Stay Humble, and 2. Develop a sense of humor.
The reason why I say to Stay Humble, contrary to another person's post about setting yourself up as better than others is because it's that precise mentality that breeds so many of the Rebecca Blacks and other douche nozzles that infest the Internet. So many people believe themselves to be great, awesome, better than anyone else, that they proceed to proclaim their superiority over the Internet, only to be flamed and verbally beaten into a bloody pulp. We need fewer of these, not more.
Now, I'm not saying you have to go around saying you're the worst person around. We all have our strengths, and I'm sure you're better than a LOT of people on the Internet in a LOT of things. But you're NOT the best, you're certainly not the best at everything, and most importantly, you have your flaws, as do we all. The trick is to admit and accept those flaws, and instead of hiding them, make sure they are always exposed. For instance, I am overweight, have been losing my hair since I hit 20, watch Anime more than I do American Television, and have played Video Games all my life. There's more to the list, but I'll stop there. By admitting these faults, as some would define them, and accepting them, they effectively become worthless as weapons against me, as I don't care if others know these faults, and will actually admit to them well before someone tries to "unearth" them to use against me.
Now, the second part to this, and is quite important if you're going to expose your faults like that, is, again, to develop a sense of humor. For best results, watch some stand-up, and notice how often comedians will pick at themselves, expose their own faults, and how often they'll play it up for laughs. By doing this, many of them become all the more endearing for admitting their own problems, and that they will probably never be able to fix them, or maybe that they never WANT to fix them. Furthermore, if someone ever attempts to use these faults as insult fodder, most comedians can sling back double whatever they're given, and do it with a level of class that the initial instigator can't compete against. If you can master this art, then none can possibly hurt you without taking greater damage in the process.
Oh, and one more thing, don't be afraid to take the moral highground and pass on some discussions. If a person is posting slanderous comments, examine the comments. The easiest target to go with is spelling/grammar. A person who doesn't know how to spell "the" correctly, much less half of their sentence, isn't exactly someone you should take seriously. After that, take some time to really examine the points they make. Are they even correct? Or are they just spouting friend-of-a-friend-level nonsense, constantly saying "I heard this" instead of "I read this". The more retarded the person becomes, the more ludicrous it becomes to even consider debating them. Of course, sometimes the debate may be necessary, but don't let yourself sink too far in. Remember, don't feed the Trolls, they start to breed after about the 50th feeding.
The reason why I say to Stay Humble, contrary to another person's post about setting yourself up as better than others is because it's that precise mentality that breeds so many of the Rebecca Blacks and other douche nozzles that infest the Internet. So many people believe themselves to be great, awesome, better than anyone else, that they proceed to proclaim their superiority over the Internet, only to be flamed and verbally beaten into a bloody pulp. We need fewer of these, not more.
Now, I'm not saying you have to go around saying you're the worst person around. We all have our strengths, and I'm sure you're better than a LOT of people on the Internet in a LOT of things. But you're NOT the best, you're certainly not the best at everything, and most importantly, you have your flaws, as do we all. The trick is to admit and accept those flaws, and instead of hiding them, make sure they are always exposed. For instance, I am overweight, have been losing my hair since I hit 20, watch Anime more than I do American Television, and have played Video Games all my life. There's more to the list, but I'll stop there. By admitting these faults, as some would define them, and accepting them, they effectively become worthless as weapons against me, as I don't care if others know these faults, and will actually admit to them well before someone tries to "unearth" them to use against me.
Now, the second part to this, and is quite important if you're going to expose your faults like that, is, again, to develop a sense of humor. For best results, watch some stand-up, and notice how often comedians will pick at themselves, expose their own faults, and how often they'll play it up for laughs. By doing this, many of them become all the more endearing for admitting their own problems, and that they will probably never be able to fix them, or maybe that they never WANT to fix them. Furthermore, if someone ever attempts to use these faults as insult fodder, most comedians can sling back double whatever they're given, and do it with a level of class that the initial instigator can't compete against. If you can master this art, then none can possibly hurt you without taking greater damage in the process.
Oh, and one more thing, don't be afraid to take the moral highground and pass on some discussions. If a person is posting slanderous comments, examine the comments. The easiest target to go with is spelling/grammar. A person who doesn't know how to spell "the" correctly, much less half of their sentence, isn't exactly someone you should take seriously. After that, take some time to really examine the points they make. Are they even correct? Or are they just spouting friend-of-a-friend-level nonsense, constantly saying "I heard this" instead of "I read this". The more retarded the person becomes, the more ludicrous it becomes to even consider debating them. Of course, sometimes the debate may be necessary, but don't let yourself sink too far in. Remember, don't feed the Trolls, they start to breed after about the 50th feeding.
There will always be dumb and ignorant people in the world. While one of the wonderful things about the internet is that it allows all of the information ever gathered to become available, it also allows people such as those as I just mentioned to show their existence. It comes with the territory. That's how I deal with it.
Everyone gets offended.
Just tough it out, that's all there is to it.
It's easier if you're confident.
If you're confident, other's words become weightless.
And weightless words are little more than oral sonjaculate.
You'll learn to discard people and their asinine opinions like dirty second-hand rags.
Just tough it out, that's all there is to it.
It's easier if you're confident.
If you're confident, other's words become weightless.
And weightless words are little more than oral sonjaculate.
You'll learn to discard people and their asinine opinions like dirty second-hand rags.
What steps did I take.. simple.
I suffered actual daily abuse, both physical and psychological, all through my childhood. Abuse that I couldn't get away from just by pressing a button or not visiting a website.
Cyberbullying, and cyber abuse in general, is a crock of shit. I'm sorry, but if you can turn off a machine and the problem instantly goes away it is you that is allowing yourself, putting yourself, in a situation to be bullied.
Furthermore, someone just not liking, or not agreeing, with you is not harassment or abuse. What is important is intent, not your personal emotional response to something.
Someone shouldn't be allowed to claim abuse unless they A do something to stop it or resist it and B the person then ignores it and carries on anyway.
I suffered actual daily abuse, both physical and psychological, all through my childhood. Abuse that I couldn't get away from just by pressing a button or not visiting a website.
Cyberbullying, and cyber abuse in general, is a crock of shit. I'm sorry, but if you can turn off a machine and the problem instantly goes away it is you that is allowing yourself, putting yourself, in a situation to be bullied.
Furthermore, someone just not liking, or not agreeing, with you is not harassment or abuse. What is important is intent, not your personal emotional response to something.
Someone shouldn't be allowed to claim abuse unless they A do something to stop it or resist it and B the person then ignores it and carries on anyway.
I like to sort through what trolls say and pick apart their comments. What have they said isn't just trolling and is genuine critique? What can I take on board without taking their trollbait? I've always been my own biggest critic and a lot of the time hurtful comments just go as far as to affirm what I already know. Which is a good thing.
Hm, seeing as I get much greater amount of vitriol, personal attacks and threats of violence from my mother's boyfriend in real life, the aggression on the internet seems amusing and comfortably distant by comparison. So, my advice is to get an abusive home environment, and soon you will become immune to all emotional and a decent amount of physical trauma.
I got used to it growing up. I think online insults are the easiest to handle.
One way I handled it, was this kid would insult me and call me names so I'd agree with him, eventually he was left unable to say anything and was silenced.
One way I handled it, was this kid would insult me and call me names so I'd agree with him, eventually he was left unable to say anything and was silenced.
Not sure if this helps too much, and I wouldn't recommend it, but I got basically desensitized from everything by spending a lot of time on /b/. I mean, the amount of downright horrible things going on there basically gave me an apathetic attitude towards almost everything.
The only other way I can think of is to just ignore them. I mean, yes they can say terrible things and sometimes they actually believe what they're saying; but just try and block them out.
The only other way I can think of is to just ignore them. I mean, yes they can say terrible things and sometimes they actually believe what they're saying; but just try and block them out.
if its something thats going to stress you out, or you know you will be offended just don't click it but if you've already been insulted,be an asshole back in my opinion or just leave
I avoid all non news skyrim threads(with the exception of what will your class be) because theres always that one guy in there who brings up another game and says how better it is than skyrim.(Why do they always bring up dark souls whyyyyy)
I avoid all non news skyrim threads(with the exception of what will your class be) because theres always that one guy in there who brings up another game and says how better it is than skyrim.(Why do they always bring up dark souls whyyyyy)
I just took the "Which Batman Villain Are You?" quiz and, to my surprise, got the Joker as a result. So, I'm going to take the Joker's philosophy into account and say this: Learn to laugh. Learn to laugh at the disgusting bile the internet churns and excretes. Failing that, try telling yourself that anyone who has anything negative to say online is a troll, plain and simple. I've found that it helps me, even if consciously I know that it isn't true. Someone online says that the next Silent Hill (Downpour) is going to "make the series finally worth something", I tell myself, "They just trollin'," and go on with my life, knowing I didn't waste my time or brain power on them and their opinion. It isn't so much about "hardening your skin" as it is about realizing that you don't have to let yourself get upset and can instead feel proud of yourself for not dwelling on their negativity, or your own. Remember: You deserve better than to let those words stick in your side like thorns. They can stay angry or hateful, but you don't have to. You can be happy.
And just for the record, I'm pretty neurotic myself. It's something I'm working on too. Just making sure I don't come off as a hypocrite.
Also, sorry for the tl;dr. That's another problem I'm working on.
EDIT: Also also, it helps if you pay attention to their vocabulary. Any insults targeted at groups not associated with the topic at hand (i.e. "fag", pardon my using it) are universal signs of a troll (or frequent XBLer) and they should automatically be pointed at and mocked for being about 30,000 years behind the times.
And just for the record, I'm pretty neurotic myself. It's something I'm working on too. Just making sure I don't come off as a hypocrite.
Also, sorry for the tl;dr. That's another problem I'm working on.
EDIT: Also also, it helps if you pay attention to their vocabulary. Any insults targeted at groups not associated with the topic at hand (i.e. "fag", pardon my using it) are universal signs of a troll (or frequent XBLer) and they should automatically be pointed at and mocked for being about 30,000 years behind the times.
It's all about psychological weighting and emotional investment.Saulkar said:
First off, if you want to understand people on the internet go read Lord of the Flies... (Kill the pig! Kill the pig!)
Anyway... psychological weighting is basically how much you let other people and things affect you. The larger the effect, the more 'weight' it has... This is mostly done un- and subconsciously but you can make a conscious effort to adjust this weighting and it's probably a good idea for most people to strip away as much psychological weighting from people they don't know or don't like as they can. I mean, honestly, who cares what a bunch of strangers or arseholes thinks or says? Fuck 'em... Strangers are, until you get to know them, just people shaped objects to your psyche... and people you don't like? Fuck 'em, if any of the shit they said was worth listening to maybe wouldn't dislike them.
Emotional Investment is how much of your emotions, your emotional balance you put into something. Do not emotionally invest in anything that does not give your equal emotional fulfillment in return. Don't get involved in shit that's just going to bring you down or piss you off.
TL;DR - if you don't know or don't like someone, fuck 'em and whatever shit they spout. Don't get involved in shit that won't give you a positive return.
HAH!emeraldrafael said:
Humor is a good medicine. Not sure I'd want that medicine so soon....but still. HAH!
OT: I guess it comes down to self esteem. I have a decent opinion of myself. What some random person on the internet say about me doesnt affect me much. Their opinions are not particularly important to me. If my best friend called me a goddamn idiot (in a serious way)...I'd be a bit more affected as his opinions matter to me.
That said we rag on each other all the time. ALL.the.time.
Leaning back, sipping some cider with a monocle and top hat. *ba-dum tish*
The only way to cruise the internet really is in style.
Meh who cares anyway. I find it hilarious that some people immediatly react as if you murdered their mum's cat if you point out something in a non threathening way of course.
The only way to cruise the internet really is in style.
Meh who cares anyway. I find it hilarious that some people immediatly react as if you murdered their mum's cat if you point out something in a non threathening way of course.