GTA V: Tales From Los Santos (Share Your Stories)

[RJ 17]

Can't believe this topic hasn't been made yet. This is dedicated to all the stories you've likely built up in GTA V, all the funny occurrences, moments of "badassednes", and anything else you might have done that's worth telling people about. So, my fellow Escapists, what sort of mischief have you been up to?

I'll start with a short funny one:
I went to jack someone's car from them while they were at a traffic light. The car had a passenger in it, so naturally while I was pulling the driver out the passenger was getting out of the car as well. The passenger opened the door, got out, took two steps, then BAM! gets nailed by a city bus. I must have laughed for 10 minutes straight on that one. >:3

Next, my personal best rampage:
Alright, I was cheating...kinda. The moral of this story is going to be "Steal a jet from the military base...it's definitely worth the effort no matter how many times you fail due to getting shot by a tank."
I had managed to steal a fighter jet for each one of my characters...really the main reason I did this was because one of the guys on my friends list had been talking about how he's been trying and failing at stealing the jet for the past four days. Then that handy-dandy "How to Steal a Jet" video got posted on this site and I figured I'd go ahead and try it out just to say I did what my friend had been failing to do.
So now each one of my characters is the proud owner of a military jet. Well there's no sense in just letting it gather dust in the hangar, so I decided to take it for a spin and see what it could really do

......it's not even fair.

Thanks to the jet my record for "Longest Time With A Wanted Level" is 21 minutes. Basically I just flew back to the military base and flew over it - nice and low so I didn't get shot down by the anti-aircraft missiles - and shot a few missiles at it on the way. Instant 5 star wanted level. I then found a small town up along the north west coast that the highway runs through and started doing air raids up and down along the highway, blowing up anything I got a lock onto. It's literally a "fish in a barrel" situation as the police AI kept trying to set up roadblocks and such in my path but, obviously, since I'm flying a jet all they're doing is making for easier targets. Every now and then a couple bullets whizzed up at me, apparently enough to cause my engine to start smoking so I decided to call that a "Mission Complete" and return back to my hangar. The engine ended up dying on me before I got even half-way back so I had to bail out. Luckily since the jet is so fast, nothing could possibly catch me and I had already thoroughly lost the authorities by the time I jumped out. As such my stars were gone by the time I got back down to the ground in my parachute. I drove back to my hangar and sure enough: my jet had found its way back home, good as new.

All in a day's work. :3

So my friends, what are some of your Tales From Los Santos?

 

[Erttheking]

The only thing that pops to mind is more of a glitch than anything else. I was Trevor, commuting to my job as I imagine Trevor would, driving on the sidewalk. I ran a couple of people over but before I knew what was going on, my truck was seriously slowed down. Moving the camera around, I saw that both bodies had gotten jammed underneath the car and when they finally got free, my car got sent spinning around a fair bit. Nothing too major, but I still wished that I had recorded it.

 

[nokori3byo]

Once, playing as Michael, I was driving back home when someone unexpectedly swerved into my path knocking me slightly off course. "Aw, FFS!" said real me. Michael echoed this sentiment word for word a moment later.

Another time, playing as Franklin, I was driving a sports car at full speed towards downtown when I happened to notice one of the game's many bike theft incidents happening to my left. Not wishing to slow down, I just continued driving at full speed only to have the purloined bike plow straight into my fender knocking the thief off. "OK," I thought, "Now that I've dealt with the thief I might as well return the bike." Nope. No sooner had I turned to recover it than the original owner was peddling it away thanking me for my help.

Amusing.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I discovered Michael has two wives.

After finishing the game's story, I switched over to Michael who had just played a tennis match with his wife (apparently while wearing his leather jacket and jeans). I decide to follow her as she walks around the back of the house to the driveway, when I spot another woman walking around in her tennis get-up. I thought this might be just some random NPC that found its way on my property, but on closer inspection I find out that it's a clone of Michael's wife. And before I know it I'm watching Michael's wife and her doppelganger walking side by side down the sidewalk.

Also, on one of my many outings hitching rides ontop of trucks and causing some relaxing highway chaos by way of silenced asault shotgun and sticky bomb, I managed to take out the pilot of a police chopper making it crash into a conveniently placed billboard.

 

[shootthebandit]

After realising you can get in a boat or jetski that someone is towing then shooting to get them to go faster. Its a good free method of fast travel and its hilarious to watch. hopefully this will be available in online as i can see a lot of fun with this when you get loads of people in the and drive by other players. Or getting someone to drive really fast towards the water then releasing the trailer and sending you into the water could be really fun

I also hope we can use towtrucks and cargobobs online. That could potentially be hilarious

 

[RJ 17]

Another time, playing as Franklin, I was driving a sports car at full speed towards downtown when I happened to notice one of the game's many bike theft incidents happening to my left. Not wishing to slow down, I just continued driving at full speed only to have the purloined bike plow straight into my fender knocking the thief off. "OK," I thought, "Now that I've dealt with the thief I might as well return the bike." Nope. No sooner had I turned to recover it than the original owner was peddling it away thanking me for my help.

Amusing.

Hehehe, all in a day's work. Something similar to that happened to me once. I was driving down the highway along the west side of Lost Santos when the random event triggered where some guy had stolen another guy's motorcycle. The perp slowed down before trying to swerve around some traffic...I didn't slow down before trying to very around that same traffic. Long story short: the thief ended up getting launched a good 20 feet into the air and the bike was returned to the owner.

I've come to find that actually helping the random event people is more beneficial than playing for greed. That guy that I just mentioned getting his motorcycle back for? Turns out he was the owner of some pet store and he gave me 100K worth of stock in his company. Don't know if the company's worth it or not, but hey: free stock. :3

My cousin rage quit because he didn't want to pay the 5K hospital bill. He gets back into the game only to find his fully custom lambo is gone from Michael's garage. He rage quit again.

The imfamous "Garage ate my car!" glitch. Yeah, that's happened to pretty much everyone I'd imagine. I too have lost a modded-out lambo to my hungry garage. I've come to find that the garges you can buy seem to be a safer place to park than the garages at your characters' houses.

Still, like your cousin, I rage-quitted the first time it happened to me too.

 

[FoxKitsune]

MISSION SPOILERS AHOY!

So, shortly after I took control of Trevor I had done virtually all of his missions, then out in the desert I got Tazed and woke up in my pants.

So, disturbing implications aside I laughed it off and went back to the trailer. Only...it wasn't that simple. See, at the trailer another mission started. So it started with Trevor in his pants.

I rolled with it, and the mission took me to kill a bunch of guys (who would have thought it?) then, hilariously to Los Santos to presumably link up with the others, where Trevor, now wearing just shoes and pants, did his brilliant scene where he essentially moves in to cousin Floyd's house....in his pants.

I loled. I loled hard.

 

[NoMercy Rider]

My finest moment, happened fairly early in the game. I decided to chance the high wanted level breaking into the Los Santos airport in the hopes of flying a commercial jet. I sent the cops on a mindless goose chase around the tarmac in an attempt to put some distance between myself and them to give me enough time to board the jet and taxi it on the runway. It worked for the most part, but the jet was getting shot to hell as I was accelerating down the runway. Just as I was leaving the ground, a cop car came out of left field and clipped my plane, totally taking out the left landing gear tire. I was like "damn" this might be a one way ticket, since I hadn't bought a parachute yet to bail.

My flight was soon cut short when one of the jet engines started smoking. Up ahead I saw a nice, straight and wide stretch of freeway and decided to take my chances with an emergency landing. So I lined myself up as best I could (with the failed engine constantly tugging me to the left) and slowly descending. Trying to time the landing between overpasses and praying to God it would work with only one rear tire. Hit the freeway hard and fast and the plane was sending sparks as all the brakes screamed to bring it to a stop. An overpass was coming up fast and I knew the plane wouldn't stop in time and I just prayed that Michael would live through this experience. The left wing hit the bridge pier in the middle of the freeway and completely broke off and the plane kept going, finally coming to a stop a few hundred feet past the overpass.

Michael casually hopped out of the plane with hardly a scratch and walked away. If I was flying the plane by legitimate means and if there were passengers on that plane, I would've been a hero that day

 

[LrgLives]

I was cruising through a rural town as Trevor when I stumble across a random event involving the enemy biker gang. Apparently they have stolen some money and are trying to make a getaway in their van. So I block the van into a parking lot, jump out and kill the driver and a passenger with my shotgun. Then a bunch of other guys pop out of the van and an epic gunfight ensues. Once everyone is dead, the parking lot has about 7 or 8 corpses in it and about 4 or 5 shot up cars. I walk over to where the cash was dropped, pick it up and return the $120 to the owner.

All that for $120 ? totally worth it!

 

[purplemonkey555]

All in one day I had not one, not two, but THREE helicopter related fails.

1. Playing as Michael, doing the last secret-ish mission for the epsilon cult, I took out all the guards and cars that were attacking me, leaving only a helicopter to deal with. I got out of my car and blasted the heli with one well placed RPG. Feeling good about myself, I went to get back into my car and was flattened by the same helicopter's wreckage. "Mission Failed - Michael Died"

2. Hunting for pickups, I went to get out of my helicopter to grab a space ship piece that I saw on a cliff, when I accidentally crashed into it. I bailed from the heli and fell a bit, but I lived, barely, until the helicopter fell on my head.

3. Still collecting ship pieces, I got to one where you have to fly to the supports on the bottom of a bridge, and get onto it. Not wanting to ditch my helicopter, I attempted to park it there and then fly away once I had the piece. The rotors hit the bridge and the helicopter exploded, killing me instantly. Luckily, I grabbed the piece before that happened.

Also, in my first few days with the game, I was taking Chop for a walk when some crazy ass driver came flying around the corner and ran him over, killing him. I was so pissed off that I blew up the SUV with my grenade launcher. Then I saw the notification telling me that Chop will respawn at my house. Whoops.

 

[EHKOS]

I killed Jimmy. I pulled up to Michael's house and he was out in the driveway so I ran him down. Then to make sure he was dead I pumped a few shotgun rounds into the body. HE WAS DEAD! I REJOICED! And then he was alive in the next mission.

 

[busterkeatonrules]

The crew needed a fire truck for a certain heist, and I decided that wheelman Franklin should be the one to acquire it. After trying and failing to remember where to find a fire station, I decided on plan B: Calling the fire department and hijacking the first truck to show up. Not wanting to deal with traffic jams during this process, I found a nice, secluded spot down on a beach near the junkyard.

I called the fire department. Then I waited. Nothing. I called them again. Nothing. Tired of waiting, I headed for a more urban area and tried again. Still nothing.

OK. Plan C. I still had a sticky bomb left from some previous job. I threw this at a random parked car, hoping that the fire department would arrive before the police. Hiding in a nearby bush, I set off the charge. Boom. Instant three-star wanted level. Almost immediately, a fire engine came charging into view, siren blaring and tires screaming as it took the corner - and went full pelt right past the burning car, disappearing over the horizon before I could do a damn thing. A moment later, the area was swarming with cops. I hijacked a random car and consoled myself with the thought that escaping from the law, at least, should prove a lot less of a challenge!

Emerging from the nearest hospital some time later, I set in motion Plan D: Operation No More Mr. Nice Guy. I stole the first car I saw, and parked it at the nearest gas station. Right next to the pumps. I had a can of gasoline. I climbed on top of the car and poured gasoline all over it. Then I poured a trail of gasoline that went across the road and behind a wall where I could hide. Making sure nobody could see me, I pulled out my trusty, heavy-duty, long-range sniper rifle with the optional super scope, and aimed it at the end of the gasoline trail right at my feet. Yeah. I did feel a bit stupid, but the sniper rifle was the only weapon I had bought a suppressor for.

Confident that nobody had seen (or heard) me ignite the gasoline, I emerged from hiding to watch the show. The flame crept around the wall, across the road, up to the rear bumper of my strategically placed car -
- and then it died. The final part of the gasoline trail must have dried up.

Feeling more like Wile E. Coyote by the minute, I climbed back on top of the car, poured more gasoline on it, started to pour a new trail, and ran out of gasoline.

Fortunately, there was another can literally right next to me. I grabbed it, and poured a shorter trail that led me into the nearby car wash. Igniting it again with the sniper rifle, I was able to hide behind a low wall while watching the gas station.

My efforts finally paid off as the gas station went up like a Roman candle. As usual, the area was instantly swarming with cops. I stayed behind the wall, and remained undetected until I saw it:

A fire truck, gently slowing down to a stop as the car in front of it bumped into some debris. Its sirens were off, and its crew were just sitting there like morons, waiting for the road to clear. As I ran through a hailstorm of police-issue bullets towards my truck - yes, that was MY truck right there, it belonged to ME, and FUCK anyone who tried to argue - I realized that they weren't there to respond to the situation, they were simply out cruising! I had wasted two cans of fuel and two rounds of expensive sniper ammo!

One police chase later, I eased MY fire truck into its hiding place. Then I bought a BF Injection online and headed into the desert to chase roadrunners.

 

[RJ 17]

Snip.

Great story and exactly the kind of stuff I was looking for when I made this topic: the crazy/creative ways we get things done in GTA V.

 

[shootthebandit]

I killed Jimmy. I pulled up to Michael's house and he was out in the driveway so I ran him down. Then to make sure he was dead I pumped a few shotgun rounds into the body. HE WAS DEAD! I REJOICED! And then he was alive in the next mission.

I put a sticky bomb on his bike and blew it up. It was hilarious he went like 10feet in the air followed by both tyres. I then got a phone call and had to fork out 5000 for hospital fees for the little twat

Next time im gonna put 20 sticky bombs on his bike to make sure i do it properly then when the ambulance comes for him ill blow that up to

 

[Thr33X]

Can I necrobump this? LOL
(NOTE- Instead of making a whole new thread for online, I'll add it here instead. So economical!!!)

Thus far I've had two really gratifying experiences above all, and they both happened yesterday. The first was on a mission invite from a friend, one of the Madrazo missions where we had to kill some dude being guarded by security at a mansion. After the ensuing firefight (I also happened to be the one to take out the mark no less), the cops show up in force, 4 Star wanted level. I don't know how it happened, but my 3 partners drop like flies and I'm the only one left. So I dash to my Gauntlet which I intelligently parked right across the street from the mansion and speed off with about 15 or so cop cars and TWO choppers in pursuit. Maybe it wasn't 15 cars but it was a lot, and they were SUPER aggressive, trying to blockade, PIT and the choppers were turn my ride into swiss cheese, though I was lucky enough to not let them hit my tires.

Weaving through traffic and hitting turns sharply (I'm at max level in Driving by the way) I manage to dip the patrol cars and find a parking garage to get out of the chopper's field of vision. Then I call Lester to get the heat off of me for $500, drive back to Madrazo's and done deal, $9000 in the bank. I could even hear one dude (non friend) say "damn he can drive!" while spectating the rest of the job.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The second was on a mission with my brother, the one for Gerald where you're in the Aqueduct (not Violent Duct though, I forgot the mission name). It's Lost MC and Vagos doing a deal for meth still, but the layout is wide open with only two points of cover. The 1st try we were doing shotguns only, but I wanted to get creative I got out of cover and chucked a grenade what had to be 75 yards down range right into the middle of the gaggle of SUVs and vans they were fenced in. Blew up everything. Sadly though we failed the mission that turn cuz I destroyed the meth as well.

So the second try, I grab a ped vehicle so we could use that for cover, and this time we park behind them and start to pick them off with automatics. We grab the meth and then some move SUVs come in...of which most of these goons never even got out of their rides before getting whacked. Cleaned, house, got into our rides and made the drop.

THAT'S the kind of stuff in my opinion that makes GTA Online the awesomeness as it is. When you've got friends (or family) go run with, the game is 10 times more fun.

 

[good times]

(Online)
So i had just finished an intense mission and respawned near the airfield in the desert. I had used most of my stickybombs on the mission so i decided to visit the gun store to replenish them. I open my map and see that theres a gun store nearby, however its occupied by 3 people. I decide to risk it and drive my fully modded cheeta to the store, and park it out the front of the store. Upon entering the store the 3 occupants begin to talk about me on their mics. They assumed i was there to start trouble with them, as most players tend to do when someone comes within a close proximity of another player. I took my mic off hold and assured them i had no interest in a fight provided they left my car alone. They were crowded out the front of the store as i left. I could tell they were considering killing me as i walked towards my car. They talked to one another and said that i seemed fine and let me go on my merry
As i drove away they began talking about holding up more stores. Apparently they had hit them up and down the highway. I listened as they robbed the store. They begannn to sound frantic as the complained that they had a 4 star wanted level with police choppers all r them. I thought it overfor a second then ordered my buzzard chopper. I was nearly on top of them when they realised i was . heading their way. I heard one of them say "now here comes some asshole to kill us". I set my weapons on rockets... then start shooting down all the helicopters around them. I hear them saying "no way hes hitting the police choppers", they then begin to thank me profusely. As i lay waste tonthe hordes of police cars and air units the robbers find somewhere safe to evade the police. They then head on to the next store to rob. I quickly fly off and lose my wanted level. I then return to the trio who are now stuck on a hill surrounded by ground units with multiple air units pinning them behind ther swiss cheese getaway car. I swoop in again destroying air unit after air unit, and the three robbers take on the waves of ground units. Eventually the helicopters reach a lull, so i begin to concentrate on the officers an the ground. We clear the area and i quickly land and tell the players to get in. They hop in and i fly us over the nearest mountain, until the wanted level expires. For the next few hours we rob store after store with me as their getaway pilot and driver. Quite possibly the most fun iv had in this game. We all agreed that it was crazy to have strangers working together like this, as generally a stranger will beeline you for the sole reason to draw blood.
This all came about because we chose not to attack one another in front of that store. Now whenever someone heads towards me on the map i try to determine their motives before i attack. I would hate to miss another great gta memory

 

[Laughing Man]

So I am playing online, have gotten hold of a cargobob and am just generally flying about looking for other players to troll. I finally lock on to a car that has two other players in it, they are driving round doing their thing, so the objective is how to get down there and hook up their car, after a few tries they make a mistake that brings the car to a halt and I manage to hook them, I put the power down and lift them quickly in to the air.

So now we have that moment of contemplation, I've hooked a few folk with the cargobob, and shockingly most them I either take them somewhere else put them down safely, take them to the top of a high building and dump them and on the odd occasion I'll just drop them from a great height and let nature take its course. So after around 3 minutes of flying, during which time I've gained some height and much wondering from me as to what I am going to with them and wondering from them as to what they will do next, they both reach the conclusion that shooting my helicopter is the move of champions.

Now this course of action was comical because at best they destroy my helicopter killing me before they then plummet to their own deaths or and this is the option I chose, I swinging them back and forth before launching them in to the great abyss.