Guys; I've had enough.
- Thread starter NaturalCauses
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Nobody likes rejection. Some people are just too afraid of it and it's weakness that is hard to overcome. I have this weakness, and I'm getting pretty tired of it. Perhaps I will act on this advice of yours. I would actually have to leave the house to do so though, so we'll see >.<
I've had several friends who were cool, confident, socially capable and still didn't want to risk rejection. Putting yourself out there like that leaves you pretty vulnerable if you are don't have rock solid self-esteem.
One of my favorite things to do occasionally is to randomly talk to people for whatever reason. On more than one occasion it's been an attractive lady that was the focus of my randomness and I still have trouble summoning the courage to actually ask someone out or just tell them I like them.
Let's see though, hmm. You are quite the looker. Would I be able to overcome the weakness and at least talk to you?
Randomly at a party or some such college event? Probably not, still don't do well with those.
Randomly in less social situations? Possible if I was in another random mood.
I would probably at least smile if there was random eye contact.
If I was sitting next to you in a class? Probably not, but not because you're female. I never really talked to people in class.
If I saw a Mass Effect wallpaper that you mentioned? Probably. Well maybe not Mass Effect since I haven't played it (yet), but maybe some other game I really liked. If it was, say, a Demon's Souls wallpaper, I would probably propose... kidding, but I would have to say something then.
So that looks like a depends.
You're in school so you'll probably have things work out in some way at some point. Good luck with everything.
I've had several friends who were cool, confident, socially capable and still didn't want to risk rejection. Putting yourself out there like that leaves you pretty vulnerable if you are don't have rock solid self-esteem.
One of my favorite things to do occasionally is to randomly talk to people for whatever reason. On more than one occasion it's been an attractive lady that was the focus of my randomness and I still have trouble summoning the courage to actually ask someone out or just tell them I like them.
Let's see though, hmm. You are quite the looker. Would I be able to overcome the weakness and at least talk to you?
Randomly at a party or some such college event? Probably not, still don't do well with those.
Randomly in less social situations? Possible if I was in another random mood.
I would probably at least smile if there was random eye contact.
If I was sitting next to you in a class? Probably not, but not because you're female. I never really talked to people in class.
If I saw a Mass Effect wallpaper that you mentioned? Probably. Well maybe not Mass Effect since I haven't played it (yet), but maybe some other game I really liked. If it was, say, a Demon's Souls wallpaper, I would probably propose... kidding, but I would have to say something then.
So that looks like a depends.
You're in school so you'll probably have things work out in some way at some point. Good luck with everything.
You know at some point, the writers are going to make some random law or plot hole that allows them to get to Gallifrey. That's pretty much every episode. ;PIrridium said:
"Doctor, we're doomed! Cybermen, Daleks- we'll never get out of this!"
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of this plot rift suddenly opening in this climax here."
I don't have a girl I like. I think I might have some issues or something; it just seems I am not capable of falling in love or becoming infatuated with someone. And apparently [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.200199-Romance#6577128], a lot of other people feel the same way.NaturalCauses said:
Us girls are screaming to be asked out. There's no way that you know we'll deny you. So why can't you just ask? You won't lose anything. I'm still friends with the guy who broke my heart, and the guy who missed my heart. So why can't you just ask?
I wish a guy like one of you folks here on the Escapist could meet me in real life. You're kind, you're intelligent, but you can't just ask. It's a problem all of us geeks and gamers seem to have.
So for discussion:
Go ask out that girl you like. Please, do it now. If she says yes, dance; if she says no, get over it; if she says nothing, crack a bad joke. Why can't you just do it?
That said, it's not like there aren't girls I'm attracted to. It's just that I could never see a relationship with me lasting. I'm just not built for being around other people. I don't think I could ever love someone you know? I couldn't handle being in a relationship with someone who supposedly loves me, when I don't love her back.
Therefore it becomes rather annoying that my libido is still working like a 17-year old's, when I have no plans to get into a relationship any time soon. So, annoyingly, while I can't see myself falling in love, I am still attracted to people.
Which brings me to the real purpose of this post: Your hair is absolutely gorgeous. How do you do that? (I apologize if this seems creepy) (though chances are it rather makes me seem gay)
Edit: Rejection is actually something I don't fear. There's this girl in class. She's pretty attractive, we get along well. I could ask her out, no problem. If she says no, so be it. However; my romantic nature tells me that if I can handle being rejected by the girl, I do not deserve to ask her out since, clearly, I do not like/love her enough.
Seconded.Red Right Hand said:Jesus Christ how are you single?NaturalCauses said:
And that's exactly the reason I wouldn't ask a girl like yourself out. The assumption is the good looking girls are already taken, and whilst most guys wouldn't mess with me, even if I were talking to their girlfriend, I don't need the hassle of a confrontation whilst I'm out getting myself drunk.
I actually found myself talking to a rather attractive young woman a few weeks back, which is crazy for me being the 6'8 Ogre I am, things seemed to be going well...damnit she's married.
Attractiveness is also a major factor, I would stake large amounts of money on virtually any girl turning me down. Rather annoying when you get to know someone online for example, they state mutiple times how much they like you, you end up taking a quick train ride to meet them, only to find out the next day that they have decided a relationship isn't for them at the moment and they'd rather remain friends. I guess my pictures don't do the beastlyness justice untill in the flesh.
So it's actually so much easier for some guys just not to bother. Sure, some girls out there somewhere may actually like the guy and say yes, but the further down the looks/pyhsique scale the guy falls, the less girls per 1000 will say yes, and I don't bet on odds like that.
Hahaha.Jonluw said:
Just a straightening iron. That's what I'm wondering. >:|Red Right Hand said:
I'm sorry to hear about this. Keep on looking for the right guy, ask them out if you have to, and be very discriminating about who you choose. Don't give yourself away. Also I don't mean to impose but, you are very cute.NaturalCauses said:I have friends. I have girl friends, and I have boy friends. Only once have I had a boyfriend. My courage in asking him out resulted in two good months, until he decided to invite my friend over and ended the night with making out with her. I haven't tried any relationships since- that was a year and a half ago.
Last summer, after prom, a friend of mine asked if I wanted to go out with him. He said he had liked me for a long time. I didn't feel the same way about him, so I said no, and then asked why he waited until now, when I'd be moving away soon anyway. His response was that he was afraid I would say no; and the funny thing is, I had feelings for him a few months prior, and would have said yes had he asked then. Instead, we both continued on our lives, and we haven't loved anyone since.
The past five years of my life, in terms of love, have been miserable. I'm sure plenty of you understand. No guys ask me to go out with them, and I find it hard to become infatuated with anyone because the only experience I've had with relationships has been unpleasant. Right now, I'm at breaking point, feeling absolutely alone and that I'm missing on something wonderful.
My point in all this? Why won't any of you guys ask me on a date?
I say 'you' in general. 'You guys'. It's always the same excuse- "I'm too shy", "She'll say no", "She's so intimidating".
Us girls are screaming to be asked out. There's no way that you know we'll deny you. So why can't you just ask? You won't lose anything. I'm still friends with the guy who broke my heart, and the guy who missed my heart. So why can't you just ask?
I wish a guy like one of you folks here on the Escapist could meet me in real life. You're kind, you're intelligent, but you can't just ask. It's a problem all of us geeks and gamers seem to have.
So for discussion:
Go ask out that girl you like. Please, do it now. If she says yes, dance; if she says no, get over it; if she says nothing, crack a bad joke. Why can't you just do it?
Not just 'gamer guys' are lonely.
((Apologies for coming off as depressed or whiny. That's never me; except tonight, for some reason...))
Just though i'd give you an update, we went out on 3 datesNaturalCauses said:
first one was great, 2nd one was ok and 3rd we just found out we werent for each other, it was fun though ^_^ all thanks to you