Haiku Attacks

[Kanlic]

Out of boredom, I decided to attack my friends on Facebook using poems in the form of haiku. Then I got addicted. I went on a tear, going after friends close to single-serving. I find most of my back and forth to be funny, but one of my friends is just lovably dumb. He has an attraction for younger girls, and has an obscene obsession with marijuana.

Spoiler: Our conversation

Kanlic:
Jail bait is your taste
Weed: you're never one to waste
No weed in prison

Julian:
huh

Kanlic:
Its called a haiku
Google is your friend, pot head
Japan is the shit

Julian:
your in japan?

Kanlic:
Stop smoking weed now
In the Bronx we like HAIKU
We are so classy

Julian:
i dont smoke weed lmao but wtf alen this is confusing even for me haha

Kanlic:
That sets the bar low
Google now! One sided speak
Poetry dumbass

Julian:
im confused what do you want me to do?

Kanlic:
You make me repeat?
Use Google to define it
the word is Haiku

So have any of you ever have a creative urge to harass your friends? (I know I am asking to be insulted here)

If you want me to put some more of my Haiku attacks, let me know

 

[Thaluikhain]

Um...

You suck you suck you
suck you suck you suck you suck
you suck yes you do

Does that count?

 

[Paksenarrion]

So am I doing this right?
It's five-seven-five?
Think I got the hang of it.

 

[Paksenarrion]

Do we count the words
or is it by syllables?
I am so confused.

 

[Kanlic]

Um...

You suck you suck you
suck you suck you suck you suck
you suck yes you do

Does that count?

You cheeky bastard
Why insult me that way
You aren't very nice.

Do we count the words
or is it by syllables?
I am so confused.

Syllables my friend
Those are what matter in this
Haiku, my favorite

This thread is so bad,
Haiku is really lame bro,
I'ma just Alt F 4.

Last line was too long
Your trolling ironic
Die fiend, now I'm sad

 

[Thaluikhain]

Um...

You suck you suck you
suck you suck you suck you suck
you suck yes you do

Does that count?

You cheeky bastard
Why insult me that way
You aren't very nice.

I will also say
Your middle line is missing
a syllable there.

 

[Paksenarrion]

Your response haikus
are just a little bit off.
Check syllable count.

 

[Paksenarrion]

Damn, I got ninja'd.
You're all fast haiku writers.
...or are you robots?

 

[similar.squirrel]

Did your friend deserve
To get served in verse?
Seemingly the consensus.

 

[Realitycrash]

There once was a man from the states
With sexual preference for jailbaits
So he tap'd a young thing
It was a one-time fling
And now prisontime for him waits.

(Sorry, toot ired to write a Haiku, or a decent limmerick. Will have to do!)

 

[Kanlic]

Um...

You suck you suck you
suck you suck you suck you suck
you suck yes you do

Does that count?

You cheeky bastard
Why insult me that way
You aren't very nice.

I will also say
Your middle line is missing
a syllable there.

Oh poo, silly me
I am very tired now
stupid college life

Damn, I got ninja'd.
You're all fast haiku writers.
...or are you robots?

Oh noes, not robots
Terminators are scary
Fear's name is Arnold

Did your friend deserve
To get served in verse?
Seemingly the consensus.

He is a poor boy
Dumb, lovable, receptive
Fun to tease, no guilt

There once was a man from the states
With sexual preference for jailbaits
So he tap'd a young thing
It was a one-time fling
And now prisontime for him waits.

(Sorry, toot ired to write a Haiku, or a decent limmerick. Will have to do!)

Much obliged amigo
The form doesn't matter much
Just that they are fun

 

[Kanlic]

Last line was too long
Your trolling ironic
Die fiend, now I'm sad

Middle line too short
Counter Troll very awful
Why are we failing?

We suck lololo

I messed up twice now
This is now ridiculous
Ashamed, that I am

 

[Lukeje]

Yay, another thread
Composed all out of Haikus.
Much time could I waste.

 

[Kanlic]

Yay, another thread
Composed all out of Haikus.
Much time could I waste.

Much sleep I have lost
Test and practice await me
Very soon, I'm screwed

 

[Realitycrash]

Um...

You suck you suck you
suck you suck you suck you suck
you suck yes you do

Does that count?

You cheeky bastard
Why insult me that way
You aren't very nice.

I will also say
Your middle line is missing
a syllable there.

Oh poo, silly me
I am very tired now
stupid college life

Damn, I got ninja'd.
You're all fast haiku writers.
...or are you robots?

Oh noes, not robots
Terminators are scary
Fear's name is Arnold

Did your friend deserve
To get served in verse?
Seemingly the consensus.

He is a poor boy
Dumb, lovable, receptive
Fun to tease, no guilt

There once was a man from the states
With sexual preference for jailbaits
So he tap'd a young thing
It was a one-time fling
And now prisontime for him waits.

(Sorry, toot ired to write a Haiku, or a decent limmerick. Will have to do!)

Much obliged amigo
The form doesn't matter much
Just that they are fun

A dopehead from New-York state
Have got himself a young date
The petité young girl
On his privates did twirl
And on the Escapist he got berate

So he says; Why not?
Age is a hard thing to spot!
The girls of today
With thongs and hairspray
Can be fourteen and still quite hot!

(Got my steam up)

But wait, he can get to Eden!
There's a place, I have readen!
To screw a teen
By age of fifteen
Is still quite legal in Sweden!

By god, I tell you it's true.
You get girls, young and new.
With sweet blond hair
Legal, I swear!
All very hot but a few.

Ah, but I am too crass
I prefer myself an older lass
Around twenty-three
Experienced and free
With a firm and big-round ass

I am afterall a bastard
Surprised I this long have lasted
Without a trashing
Beating or lashing
Even when I get plasterd!

 

[Kanlic]

Much obliged amigo
The form doesn't matter much
Just that they are fun

A dopehead from New-York state
Have got himself a young date
The petité young girl
On his privates did twirl
And on the Escapist he got berate

So he says; Why not?
Age is a hard thing to spot!
The girls of today
With thongs and hairspray
Can be fourteen and still quite hot!

(Got my steam up)

But wait, he can get to Eden!
There's a place, I have readen!
To screw a teen
By age of fifteen
Is still quite legal in Sweden!

By god, I tell you it's true.
You get girls, young and new.
With sweet blond hair
Legal, I swear!
All very hot but a few.

Ah, but I am too crass
I prefer myself an older lass
Around twenty-three
Experienced and free
With a firm and big-round ass

I am afterall a bastard
Surprised I this long have lasted
Without a trashing
Beating or lashing
Even when I get plasterd!

I have been there friend
Fun to defile with sex
Hard to cope with law

 

[Stilkon]

I can't write haikus
I'm no good with poetry
But wait a minute...!

 

[Hero in a half shell]

On the Escapist
Surfing the forums for fun
I've wasted my day