Half Life 3D? Really Valve.

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Zack Alklazaris

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Oct 6, 2011
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Ok I read my wife's "Game Informer" magazine yesterday and I came across this article.


I tried to make it easier to read, but for those who are still having trouble:

"Valve, the publisher/developer/false deity responsible for Steam, Counter-Strike, and Left 4 Dead is finally returning to the lauded Half-Life series after five long years. Foregoing conventional options like another episodic entry or direct sequel, Valve announced it will be releasing Half-Life 3D. Initial fan enthusiasm on the Internet (due to no one noticing the "D" in the logo) quickly gave way to despair when Valve's Gabe Newell confirmed the game is just a 3D version of original Half-Life and its unpopular expansion, Half-Life: Blue Shift. Yeah, the one where you play a guy named Barney. As of press time, Newell is listed as being in critical condition. After the riots, I had some hands-on time with the title; apart from the free pair of Gordon Freeman-style 3D glasses, my initial impressions are that this is a very dumb idea."

The release is 12.12.2012

I really hope this isn't real. For one thing the logo itself seem like a giant F-you to all of us who are still waiting for any word of HL3 (or Episode 3).Did you know they are suing for the rights from the name DotA2 a game made from the fans of a completely non-related Valve game? I would say Valve has become money hungry and no longer cares about anything else other than increasing their giant money pile, but they haven't even mentioned about their god game Half Life 3. You know, the one people keep asking about, demanding whats going on with it. The one that is in a series of "Game of the Years". It just makes no sense why they would wait if they just want money.

I'm so confused...
 

DazZ.

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Jun 4, 2009
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If this was real and in a magazine yesterday the internet would have already exploded.

It hasn't so, we're safe.
 

Chimpzy_v1legacy

Warning! Contains bananas!
Jun 21, 2009
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Most definitely a joke.

Darth Clark is the editor for Game Infarcer, an annual satirical section in Game Informer that parodies trends in the gaming industry. Those 'PAR' letters in the bottom right corner of the second pic are probably the first part of 'PARODY', which is what Game Informer puts in this section so people will know it's not real.

I'm suspecting an attempt at trolling. Or the OP is just really unobservant.
 

Zack Alklazaris

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Oct 6, 2011
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Ok thank god. Maybe I just freaked out and didn't pay attention to any of the surrounding areas of the article. (I feel dumb)
 

Triangulon

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Nov 20, 2009
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Zack Alklazaris said:
... Gabe Newell confirmed the game is just a 3D version of original Half-Life and its unpopular expansion, Half-Life: Blue Shift. Yeah, the one where you play a guy named Barney.
Clearly a fake; Blue Shift was awesome.
 

Korten12

Now I want ma...!
Aug 26, 2009
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That's the game informer april edition, it has a bunch of joke articles.
 

Neverhoodian

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Apr 2, 2008
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Looks like you've been April Fool'd.

Game Informer always has a special April Fools section called "Game Infarcer" this time of year, complete with fake previews and reviews (at least that's how it was when I still subscribed to the publication). Darth Clark is the fictional editor-in-chief for Game Infarcer.
 

Mathak

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Mar 27, 2009
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Gabe Newell being in critical condition after the riots didn't give it away?
 

Thomas Borja

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Apr 10, 2012
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I thik the maker of this thread got excited by seeing HL3. then turned to panic and anger when he read the first few lines and then skimmed the rest....by the time he posted this he was in a blind fury that when he retyped the article and focused on the parody picture he didn't notice all the give aways
 

Thomas Borja

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Apr 10, 2012
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I think the maker of this thread got excited by seeing HL3. then turned to panic and anger when he read the first few lines and then skimmed the rest....by the time he posted this he was in a blind fury that when he retyped the article and focused on the parody picture he didn't notice all the give aways
 

Nieroshai

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Aug 20, 2009
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Zack Alklazaris said:
Ok I read my wife's "Game Informer" magazine yesterday and I came across this article.


I tried to make it easier to read, but for those who are still having trouble:

"Valve, the publisher/developer/false deity responsible for Steam, Counter-Strike, and Left 4 Dead is finally returning to the lauded Half-Life series after five long years. Foregoing conventional options like another episodic entry or direct sequel, Valve announced it will be releasing Half-Life 3D. Initial fan enthusiasm on the Internet (due to no one noticing the "D" in the logo) quickly gave way to despair when Valve's Gabe Newell confirmed the game is just a 3D version of original Half-Life and its unpopular expansion, Half-Life: Blue Shift. Yeah, the one where you play a guy named Barney. As of press time, Newell is listed as being in critical condition. After the riots, I had some hands-on time with the title; apart from the free pair of Gordon Freeman-style 3D glasses, my initial impressions are that this is a very dumb idea."

The release is 12.12.2012

I really hope this isn't real. For one thing the logo itself seem like a giant F-you to all of us who are still waiting for any word of HL3 (or Episode 3).Did you know they are suing for the rights from the name DotA2 a game made from the fans of a completely non-related Valve game? I would say Valve has become money hungry and no longer cares about anything else other than increasing their giant money pile, but they haven't even mentioned about their god game Half Life 3. You know, the one people keep asking about, demanding whats going on with it. The one that is in a series of "Game of the Years". It just makes no sense why they would wait if they just want money.

I'm so confused...
Probably already been said, but this was a parody in their yearly Game Infarcer section that satirizes the gaming industry. This is not a real thing.
 

DoPo

"You're not cleared for that."
Jan 30, 2012
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We had that thread last month. Where have you been? And the developers and the date did not strike you as humorous? Nor the article for that matter? Nor the name of the guy who wrote it - Darth Clark?

CAPTCHA: go berserk
 

Starnerf

The X makes it sound cool
Jun 26, 2008
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Having played Half-Life and Blue Shift (and OppForce) in 3D, I can say that stereoscopy does add an interesting layer to the experience.