Hanging Up The Cape

[Blind0bserver]

World of Warcraft? Nooo, can't you play some other obscure MMO no one else plays?

I just did!



Maybe we'll do something exotic again after WoW. I might have to, if they keep delaying TOR and DCU.

I'd go so far as to suggest Aion as being a target ripe for mockery after you're done with your stint in WoW, the Elyos side of the game particularly. At one point I distinctly remember being sent on a revenge-driven rampage because some monsters killed the quest giver's pig.

 

[MeTheMe]

Do you do any purely fiction writing? You sound like you'd be good at!

Love reading these silly stories each week, keep it up!

 

[Formica Archonis]

i say you do one for Minecraft

I can see it now:

Wow, this is a big cavern. I wondCREEPERCREEPERFUCKFUCKCREEPERARRRRRRGH!



This cave was not made by an algorithm. It was made by Satan, who decided it was really funny that a random tunnel should just glance off the roof of this cave, making a tiny dark hole in which only skeletons spawn, who find themselves in a nice premade sniper nest.



<IMG SRC="http://s91291220.onlinehome.us/formica/paintingnocreep.png" HEIGHT=80 WIDTH=160 ALIGN=LEFT>So, I've just finished my greenhouse and planted my crops, I just need one more piece of glass for the ceiFUCKFUCKCREEPERARRRRRRGH

So, I've just refinished my greenhouse, replanted my crops, and blew up the small hill next to my fort that a particularly dexterous creeper can use to jump onto my well-lit roof and into a small hole I accidentally left. I've also repaired the damage caused by misplacing the TNT.



I can HEAR the zombies, but I can't FIND the spawner! I've swiss-cheesed this entire mountain and ARGH!

Turns out the zombies were over me and one errant pick strike made the hole they needed to get through and eat my flesh. And also my diamond pick and bow, apparently, because I can't find them.



<IMG SRC="http://s91291220.onlinehome.us/formica/paintingcreep.png" HEIGHT=80 WIDTH=160 ALIGN=RIGHT>I see you, creeper. I know you're there. Watching. Waiting. I peer into the dark, I see you, waiting for me to step closer! I put up a painting, I see you, waiting for me to lie/stand on my bed made of wool cubes and let my guard down! I shave in the morning, I see you behind me in the mirror! STOP HAUNTING ME!

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

Do you do any purely fiction writing? You sound like you'd be good at!

Love reading these silly stories each week, keep it up!

He's written a book thats free on the internet, I think it's called New Radicals.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Maybe we'll do something exotic again after WoW. I might have to, if they keep delaying TOR and DCU.

You could always try Everquest

 

[twaddle]

I loved this series. It was a very enjoyable read. I probably will never play this game, but still the way you pointed out all the flaws was brilliant. I wonder if you will ever in the future do the final fantasy game or perhaps some of those other free mmos. Looking forward to the WOW articles!

 

[tetron]

Shamus plays WoW huh ? I do wonder how this is going to be. I mean the quests aren't really as ridiculous as MMOs shamus has done before, especially not champions online, and I think shamus plays are funnier the more ridiculous the quests are. But maybe all it needs is a good twist of words.

 

[Catalyst6]

WoW? Hrm. Seems like the more "obscure" MMOs are your bit...

 

[Engarde]

Ah, I shall miss stars on chest and his escepades. Ah well, if there was one thing we learned from all this, it is THIS IS NO ORDINARY STORM.

 

[ayanematrix]

i say you do one for Minecraft

I can see it now:

Wow, this is a big cavern. I wondCREEPERCREEPERFUCKFUCKCREEPERARRRRRRGH!



This cave was not made by an algorithm. It was made by Satan, who decided it was really funny that a random tunnel should just glance off the roof of this cave, making a tiny dark hole in which only skeletons spawn, who find themselves in a nice premade sniper nest.



<IMG SRC="http://s91291220.onlinehome.us/formica/paintingnocreep.png" HEIGHT=80 WIDTH=160 ALIGN=LEFT>So, I've just finished my greenhouse and planted my crops, I just need one more piece of glass for the ceiFUCKFUCKCREEPERARRRRRRGH

So, I've just refinished my greenhouse, replanted my crops, and blew up the small hill next to my fort that a particularly dexterous creeper can use to jump onto my well-lit roof and into a small hole I accidentally left. I've also repaired the damage caused by misplacing the TNT.



I can HEAR the zombies, but I can't FIND the spawner! I've swiss-cheesed this entire mountain and ARGH!

Turns out the zombies were over me and one errant pick strike made the hole they needed to get through and eat my flesh. And also my diamond pick and bow, apparently, because I can't find them.



<IMG SRC="http://s91291220.onlinehome.us/formica/paintingcreep.png" HEIGHT=80 WIDTH=160 ALIGN=RIGHT>I see you, creeper. I know you're there. Watching. Waiting. I peer into the dark, I see you, waiting for me to step closer! I put up a painting, I see you, waiting for me to lie/stand on my bed made of wool cubes and let my guard down! I shave in the morning, I see you behind me in the mirror! STOP HAUNTING ME!

This little post made my laugh so hard!

OT: Sad to see that your short stint into the Champions Online MMO ended in one of the worst areas of the game; though, I can't honestly blame you, or Star on the Chest, for giving up on it. Being someone who was a part of the early Beta to Open Beta (and recent demos) builds of the game, pretty much everything you covered in the series is how I'd describe my time in the game. Most of the earlier missions still don't make a lot of sense, but they don't make you worry as much about grinding. And I totally agree with you on the quest chain given out by Antoine Harrison as it's one of the FEW quests where thugs are proactively sought after and still made sense, minus the fact he was controlled by Psimon.

 

[ayanematrix]

Ugh... silly double post!

 

[Formica Archonis]

I see you behind me in the mirror! STOP HAUNTING ME!

This little post made my laugh so hard!

Thanks.

OT: Sad to see that your short stint into the Champions Online MMO ended in one of the worst areas of the game; though, I can't honestly blame you, or Star on the Chest, for giving up on it.

Why they made the early areas of the game so bad, I'll never know. These are the parts people will be playing through to decide if it's worth sinking more time and money into!

And Shamus: Don't think I've ever thanked you on your site, so time to rectify that. Thanks very much for the great series, and I'll be looking forward to the WoW one.

 

[viciouspen]

The only thing that really disappointed me about this series is that your information was so outdated it really felt like a speed bump to even reading this. You have one single disclaimer at the start of the series, and make some very slight attempts to clarify later. I'm both surprised and disappointed you didn't bother to do the slight work it would have took to brush up. Your info is a good....7 months out of date, coming from the period of time recently after the game went live, which, I don't remember a game that didn't have messed up annoying stuff at the beginning. If you hadn't wanted to bother updating your info, it would have at least been helpful to see more clarificaton, and less sensationalism.

I ran into you and helped you fight Viper X on my main and you actually had a clever toon (not star on chest). I remember it because the toon itself was interesting and I only noticed it was your handle after I'd looked at your info to read its bio.

The slap stick stuff is one of the major things that's killed me about the game as a player. It's that classic Bill Roper "make fun of the player for playing a game" immersion murdering thing.
They fired Roper and the writer that did all that lame slapstick. The new guy, and new adventure pack, Demonflame, has actually been a nice change of pace, grim, dark, serious, not a single cringe worthy piece of humor, and some actual appropriate clever funny stuff.

As someone that plays the game and is bothered by the same thing, it bothered me because I felt like I should have been agreeing with you awhole lot more, but instead there were too many times where it felt like you looked for excuses and tried a bit too hard to go Yahtzee.

Will your WoW article be actually up to date, or will this be from 5 years ago?

 

[DTWolfwood]

happy fun times XD from a person from the outside looking in WoW should be some entertaining reads

 

[Sidereal]

I could have *sworn* Star on Chest was going to turn villain.
Really - when so many villain backstories are so cheezy and contrived, his was a much more real story. He started as a hero, but became bitter and disillusioned by the incompetence around him. Leaving all that behind, he set off to ... nah. Wait. More likely, he just decided to do whatever works for him. He became a self-serving super... guy.

 

[camazotz]

Shamus plays WoW huh ? I do wonder how this is going to be. I mean the quests aren't really as ridiculous as MMOs shamus has done before, especially not champions online, and I think shamus plays are funnier the more ridiculous the quests are. But maybe all it needs is a good twist of words.

Trust me, Shamus is going to have a lot of fun showcasing some of the ridiculous quest lines in WoW.....I think Champions takes the cake, admittedly, but when you really parse out the logic behind most MMO quests, they fail basic common sense tests, horribly.

 

[Flunk]

I'm amazed you managed to play Champions online that long without throwing your computer out the nearest window. I wouldn't have been able to.

 

[asterismW]

Brilliant, Shamus. Just as good the second time around. I'm gonna miss Star On Chest. Er, again.

 

[Warnolo]

... I'm the only one who likes Snake gulch?