Ouch. Me and my current girl have known each other for six years. I trust her enough that she won'd let me down. I just end up questioning things and worrying like an arse when everything's alright.questionnairebot said:
Has anyone completely destroyed your trust?
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Well, I haven't had anyone completely ruin my trust. It's hard to when you're a trusting person by nature, but it did make me a little more wary about the motives of people.
I was in a relationship with a girl who was smart, funny, and overall seemed to be one of the most caring people I'd met. Skip ahead 6 months and I find out she had cheated (partially, not sex, just making out with a friend of hers, which is pretty bad in itself) on me. I accepted that she made a mistake after she seemed genuinely sorry about the entire thing.
Moving ahead to Valentines day. We spent the day together and whatnot, but had to part after dinner. The next day, after struggling to get hold of her, she tells me that on Valentines day after she left, she had gone and made out / what have you, with another one of her friends again (the same one as before). At this point I was pissed off and told her where she could go.
And here's where I become an idiot. I accept her back a second time, thinking things would be different. This was after about 2 weeks of constant apologies and arguing. And now we skip slightly further ahead to a few days before she graduated, where I was told that she was in one of the bathrooms at the high school fooling around with another guy.
Honestly, it pisses me off that I accept people so easily. It could be due to the fact that I think it's crucial to place a lot of trust in your partner, but it was pretty heart-breaking to be screwed around multiple times by someone you love.
The excuse that I got was: "I call it getting bored and finding entertainment."
I suppose I'm boring.
Edit: Keep in mind I'm not bitter about most of this anymore. We're both young and everyone's different. I am fiercely loyal, and she was looking for excitement, but also stability. I can't really be immensely exciting with full-time college classes and a job on top of that, so I can see where she was coming from.
I was in a relationship with a girl who was smart, funny, and overall seemed to be one of the most caring people I'd met. Skip ahead 6 months and I find out she had cheated (partially, not sex, just making out with a friend of hers, which is pretty bad in itself) on me. I accepted that she made a mistake after she seemed genuinely sorry about the entire thing.
Moving ahead to Valentines day. We spent the day together and whatnot, but had to part after dinner. The next day, after struggling to get hold of her, she tells me that on Valentines day after she left, she had gone and made out / what have you, with another one of her friends again (the same one as before). At this point I was pissed off and told her where she could go.
And here's where I become an idiot. I accept her back a second time, thinking things would be different. This was after about 2 weeks of constant apologies and arguing. And now we skip slightly further ahead to a few days before she graduated, where I was told that she was in one of the bathrooms at the high school fooling around with another guy.
Honestly, it pisses me off that I accept people so easily. It could be due to the fact that I think it's crucial to place a lot of trust in your partner, but it was pretty heart-breaking to be screwed around multiple times by someone you love.
The excuse that I got was: "I call it getting bored and finding entertainment."
I suppose I'm boring.
Edit: Keep in mind I'm not bitter about most of this anymore. We're both young and everyone's different. I am fiercely loyal, and she was looking for excitement, but also stability. I can't really be immensely exciting with full-time college classes and a job on top of that, so I can see where she was coming from.
Colour me intrigued... Did you look at my profile and do math, perchance?questionnairebot said:
Yeah. I trust her. The thing about my ex is... My ex keeps popping up everywhere (as in, texting late at nights, generally harassing me through friends, and pulling shit like that.) She hasn't tagged my house yet. But just give it time.
The fact that she won't piss off is what's making it hard for me to get past all the scars she left me. I've told her "F*** off, Thanks to you, I'll never be the man I once was." and she can't take the damn hint. Coming to the point where I haven't slept in about a week. Haha.
Borrowed a really close friend since eight years some money for Christmas last year and I guess he didn't want to pay back, since he completely broke contact with me without any reasons why.
Also had quite a lot of affairs with girls who had boyfriends. All of them went on about how awful their relationship was and that they were going to break up bla bla bla. I eventually got a bit tired of being the reserve dick, so I broke up with them.
In all cases they've broken up with their boyfriend pretty quickly afterwards and found a new guy.
Foreveralone!
Haven't developed trust issues due to this, but I won't be borrowing money to friends anymore.
Also had quite a lot of affairs with girls who had boyfriends. All of them went on about how awful their relationship was and that they were going to break up bla bla bla. I eventually got a bit tired of being the reserve dick, so I broke up with them.
In all cases they've broken up with their boyfriend pretty quickly afterwards and found a new guy.
Foreveralone!
Haven't developed trust issues due to this, but I won't be borrowing money to friends anymore.
Well, yes and no, I have been severly betrayed, but she didn't destroy my trust, we're still good friends. I mean, there's not many I actually do trust completely to begin with, so if someone does anything, there's not really a genuine trust to be betrayed.
Yeah, I can completely relate. I won't go into it, but it took a long time and a good friend to pull me out of that resulting funk. Though she later ended up stabbing me in the back, I've since gotten over that and we are good friends again, but I still keep an eye on her to prevent any possible...complications. My advice, though it may not mean much:
Take a good look at who it was that hurt you, take a look at yourself and see what you were like at the time. (not saying it was your fault, I'm meaning just to look at how you've matured and how you'd deal with the situations back then) There is nothing wrong with having a little worry, but it's unhealthy to always have those kinda thoughts on your mind. I also think you should think about who your girlfriend is, how she acts, what kinda crowd she hangs out with. That should help narrow down your re-occuring worries.
Again, not sure if that will help you because no two situations in the world will nessicarily be solved by the same meathod of approach.
Take a good look at who it was that hurt you, take a look at yourself and see what you were like at the time. (not saying it was your fault, I'm meaning just to look at how you've matured and how you'd deal with the situations back then) There is nothing wrong with having a little worry, but it's unhealthy to always have those kinda thoughts on your mind. I also think you should think about who your girlfriend is, how she acts, what kinda crowd she hangs out with. That should help narrow down your re-occuring worries.
Again, not sure if that will help you because no two situations in the world will nessicarily be solved by the same meathod of approach.
Meh. I have had my trust broken a number of times. I learned quickly and got stronger for it. I'm generally a very friendly guy, but I pick and choose carefully who I let close to me and it has worked out quite well. Have some truly awesome friends in my life, so I'm lucky -- and smart.
Same here. I just don't understand why people do it? Whats so hard about talking to your partner about whatever. Save some hurt feelings, and may end up preventing a giant mess. Sadly, the idea of a peaceful social world is just as likely (if not less) as a world without need for a millitary... I sounded more like a "Miss Beauty Pagent" then I thought I would have...Suicidejim said:
I used to be always on the defense because I was scared of people hurting me and always expecting they would but I stopped, and it's soo much better. People are going to screw up and disapoint you from time to time, it happens, doesn't mean you should let that cloud over all the good things about them. That said I do not trust my boss, like at all. Woman's a total snake.
I had a crush on this girl in high school for well over a year, but I was always too shy to really engage her on one on one conversations. She also had a bf of a long time, and I had just gotten a new gf, that ended up being a bad decision lol. Anyways, me and her finally start talking and I get her number. She found out that I liked her pretty easily, but she said she didn't want to do a relationship and instead ending up going out with my current best friend. I was ok with because she didn't lead me on, and was forthcoming with it, while my friend was not. He was trying to get me to talk to the girl for a while. Well after two weeks they broke up twice (me putting them back together once), and at the second time my friend told me that he didn't really like the relationship and was kinda unhappy. So I told him that I liked her and he said that I should go straight for her and treat her better than he could. (Worth mentioning that he has awful emotional problems, to the point where it's extremely over-dramatic).
The dude, well, he was my best friend. Completely, he knew me inside and out, and I knew him...not as well as I had assumed. I met him on the front porch of a mutual friend's house because I had a fight with the a girl that had broken my heart in the middle of my friend's bedrooom. I tried to talk to her because I was still extremely smitten with her but she just brushed me off and acting like she was the victim when I was going through stuff I didn't even know how to. (I guess she was too) Well I went on to the porch and just started crying because I didn't know what else to do. The dude had been there all day and hadn't spoken one word to anyone, so I was actually kinda intimidated by him because he was 6"3', while I was around 5"5'. As I was crying he came out sat down beside me and started talking to me. He acted as if I was his friend, like I knew him. The genuine feel of sympathy from his was something I wasn't used to as I never liked my parents. The fact he took time out of his day to help ease the suffering of someone else that he didn't even know kinda blew me away. He stayed out there for an hour talking to me, what he said I don't remember, I assume didn't have much importance, I just wanted words from someone else. Eventually the girl came out there because of him and me and her talked, she continued to treat me terribly, but what he did for me was astounding. From the second I met him I almost understood we'd be close. 2 years later he has seen me go through rough **** from the girl and another one. He always had my side and was always defending me, even when I didn't do it myself. Even though this created problems, I could tell that he considered me of utmost importance. Me and him were close. We were drinking buddies, smoking buddies, music buddies and just buddies in general. If one of us did something, odds are, the other one was there. He treated me like he did his other brothers, if not better in many cases. Me and him were a lot alike. Hell, me and him were brothers. He, almost, single-handedly got me through some of the hardest depression I've ever felt in my short time here. Three heartbreaks, multiple setbacks because of bills that I couldn't pay and other stuff. This dude always had my back, and I always had his. I've never had a better best friend.
Well I eventually ask her out. I was extremely happy with her, me and her were alike tons of ways, to the point where we were almost exactly alike. The only difference is she was more prone to acting like a stereotypical emo girl, while I was just an introverted emo and didn't prefer to do the "normal" emo things like cutting etc. Me and her hung out twice, and the entire time we cuddled, made out, listened to music and just talked. Once on Valentine's Day, where I helped my dad make dinner for her, and two days after. After I got done visiting her the 2nd time, I come home and get on FB really quick before going to sleep and my best friend messages me and says he's in love with her, even though they only went out for two weeks, and he hardly called her. Well, 1 hour later, she's on the phone with me crying her eyes out and continuously apologizing for hurting me because she had to break up with me for him.
I was crushed. Not just because I felt I was losing another girl I felt had a chance for a long term relationship, but because my friend would do that to me, when he told me many times he wouldn't take her back if she tried to come back to her; but instead he went and got her. The next day I tried to convince her into not dumping me and she was overrun with emotions and lack of sleep that she ended up blaming me for the whole thing because she almost at tears and couldn't stand what she had done. (Also worth mentioning that the girl considered me like a best friend at this point because she said that I was one of the few people she felt close to.) I ended up crying in the library, because I was a library assistant my senior year, and I hate crying in public. I had to cover my face in the hoodie she gave back and be completely silent. I heard people passing me saying how I got the right idea about sleeping on the couch. Turns out the girl that was an assistant with me knew I was crying and eventually became a good friend of mine while I was going through that. Too bad she had a boyfriend lol.
So, even though this happened 6 months ago. I still talk, and trust the girl that did this. I almost can't blame her. She's a really naive 15(now 16) year old girl. I know she didn't mean to harm me like she did, and has done a lot to make up for it. The dude, on the other hand acted like I was the biggest mother ****er in the world and constantly slandered me on FB because I wanted the girl back and played some dirty games to try and get her back, because he didn't treat her all that well for like 4 months of the relationship. He also kept playing the victim card, and turning the girl against me, and kept droning on about how I didn't know how bad it hurt him. Thing is, he didn't understand that I didn't care, because it was his fault and his choice. He had complete control of his actions from the first time I told him I liked her. He even guilt tripped me into the entire situation because he said he was gonna run away to Minnesota and said later on that I encouraged him to find his "Whatshername", which of course happened to be my gf, when in reality I was trying to cheer me up, and I cried when he told me he was running away. He even blamed me for the entire thing saying I should've let him go.
At this point, me, the girl, and the dude are all chill. No more fighting the encompassed the last 4 months of senior year. The girl is probably one, if not, my best friend at this point, aside from my obvious guy friends. The dude, is not, on the other hand. We smoked, we drank, we lost and we gained together, and he threw it away. I don't trust him at all, not even the slightest. I hardly tell him what's going on with my life anymore, and I loathe the idea of having to hang out alone with him anymore. Where it used to be I liked him more than my other guy friends. I honestly wish things could go back, but even with the knowledge, I don't think I would trust him because I know what his capacity is for friends.
He's made me question how I view my current best friends, to the point where I'm afraid of the title for people in my life, and if they give me the title in their life. It makes me worry about if I can live up to it, and makes me worry if other people can live up to what I would need or expect from them. It would probably take a person as strong as an influence in my life as he was to change how I see things. I am at least thankful for the experience at a younger age than when **** like money, property and actual love can get tangled up. I'm also thankful that the event hasn't made me a cynical, destitute, misanthropic individual like the guy started acting like because he chose to break up with the girl. I've mostly moved on from what has happened back then, at least as far as continuously thinking about it and feeling constant pain. I've been on my own two feet for the last 2 months really and even them acting like it's ok to even slightly discuss their intimate details around me hasn't brought me down too much. I'm glad I'm able to get from this because losing this guy hurt so much. If you made it to the end of this I guess good job for you, thanks for reading. I guess the only thing to take away from this is never play the game with ex girlfriends of friends, ever. No matter what they say, they will almost always get jealous.(and watch out for emo girls. lol)
EDIT: Sorry for the story of my life. I've just been wanting to get this off my chest so badly.
The dude, well, he was my best friend. Completely, he knew me inside and out, and I knew him...not as well as I had assumed. I met him on the front porch of a mutual friend's house because I had a fight with the a girl that had broken my heart in the middle of my friend's bedrooom. I tried to talk to her because I was still extremely smitten with her but she just brushed me off and acting like she was the victim when I was going through stuff I didn't even know how to. (I guess she was too) Well I went on to the porch and just started crying because I didn't know what else to do. The dude had been there all day and hadn't spoken one word to anyone, so I was actually kinda intimidated by him because he was 6"3', while I was around 5"5'. As I was crying he came out sat down beside me and started talking to me. He acted as if I was his friend, like I knew him. The genuine feel of sympathy from his was something I wasn't used to as I never liked my parents. The fact he took time out of his day to help ease the suffering of someone else that he didn't even know kinda blew me away. He stayed out there for an hour talking to me, what he said I don't remember, I assume didn't have much importance, I just wanted words from someone else. Eventually the girl came out there because of him and me and her talked, she continued to treat me terribly, but what he did for me was astounding. From the second I met him I almost understood we'd be close. 2 years later he has seen me go through rough **** from the girl and another one. He always had my side and was always defending me, even when I didn't do it myself. Even though this created problems, I could tell that he considered me of utmost importance. Me and him were close. We were drinking buddies, smoking buddies, music buddies and just buddies in general. If one of us did something, odds are, the other one was there. He treated me like he did his other brothers, if not better in many cases. Me and him were a lot alike. Hell, me and him were brothers. He, almost, single-handedly got me through some of the hardest depression I've ever felt in my short time here. Three heartbreaks, multiple setbacks because of bills that I couldn't pay and other stuff. This dude always had my back, and I always had his. I've never had a better best friend.
Well I eventually ask her out. I was extremely happy with her, me and her were alike tons of ways, to the point where we were almost exactly alike. The only difference is she was more prone to acting like a stereotypical emo girl, while I was just an introverted emo and didn't prefer to do the "normal" emo things like cutting etc. Me and her hung out twice, and the entire time we cuddled, made out, listened to music and just talked. Once on Valentine's Day, where I helped my dad make dinner for her, and two days after. After I got done visiting her the 2nd time, I come home and get on FB really quick before going to sleep and my best friend messages me and says he's in love with her, even though they only went out for two weeks, and he hardly called her. Well, 1 hour later, she's on the phone with me crying her eyes out and continuously apologizing for hurting me because she had to break up with me for him.
I was crushed. Not just because I felt I was losing another girl I felt had a chance for a long term relationship, but because my friend would do that to me, when he told me many times he wouldn't take her back if she tried to come back to her; but instead he went and got her. The next day I tried to convince her into not dumping me and she was overrun with emotions and lack of sleep that she ended up blaming me for the whole thing because she almost at tears and couldn't stand what she had done. (Also worth mentioning that the girl considered me like a best friend at this point because she said that I was one of the few people she felt close to.) I ended up crying in the library, because I was a library assistant my senior year, and I hate crying in public. I had to cover my face in the hoodie she gave back and be completely silent. I heard people passing me saying how I got the right idea about sleeping on the couch. Turns out the girl that was an assistant with me knew I was crying and eventually became a good friend of mine while I was going through that. Too bad she had a boyfriend lol.
So, even though this happened 6 months ago. I still talk, and trust the girl that did this. I almost can't blame her. She's a really naive 15(now 16) year old girl. I know she didn't mean to harm me like she did, and has done a lot to make up for it. The dude, on the other hand acted like I was the biggest mother ****er in the world and constantly slandered me on FB because I wanted the girl back and played some dirty games to try and get her back, because he didn't treat her all that well for like 4 months of the relationship. He also kept playing the victim card, and turning the girl against me, and kept droning on about how I didn't know how bad it hurt him. Thing is, he didn't understand that I didn't care, because it was his fault and his choice. He had complete control of his actions from the first time I told him I liked her. He even guilt tripped me into the entire situation because he said he was gonna run away to Minnesota and said later on that I encouraged him to find his "Whatshername", which of course happened to be my gf, when in reality I was trying to cheer me up, and I cried when he told me he was running away. He even blamed me for the entire thing saying I should've let him go.
At this point, me, the girl, and the dude are all chill. No more fighting the encompassed the last 4 months of senior year. The girl is probably one, if not, my best friend at this point, aside from my obvious guy friends. The dude, is not, on the other hand. We smoked, we drank, we lost and we gained together, and he threw it away. I don't trust him at all, not even the slightest. I hardly tell him what's going on with my life anymore, and I loathe the idea of having to hang out alone with him anymore. Where it used to be I liked him more than my other guy friends. I honestly wish things could go back, but even with the knowledge, I don't think I would trust him because I know what his capacity is for friends.
He's made me question how I view my current best friends, to the point where I'm afraid of the title for people in my life, and if they give me the title in their life. It makes me worry about if I can live up to it, and makes me worry if other people can live up to what I would need or expect from them. It would probably take a person as strong as an influence in my life as he was to change how I see things. I am at least thankful for the experience at a younger age than when **** like money, property and actual love can get tangled up. I'm also thankful that the event hasn't made me a cynical, destitute, misanthropic individual like the guy started acting like because he chose to break up with the girl. I've mostly moved on from what has happened back then, at least as far as continuously thinking about it and feeling constant pain. I've been on my own two feet for the last 2 months really and even them acting like it's ok to even slightly discuss their intimate details around me hasn't brought me down too much. I'm glad I'm able to get from this because losing this guy hurt so much. If you made it to the end of this I guess good job for you, thanks for reading. I guess the only thing to take away from this is never play the game with ex girlfriends of friends, ever. No matter what they say, they will almost always get jealous.(and watch out for emo girls. lol)
EDIT: Sorry for the story of my life. I've just been wanting to get this off my chest so badly.
I've never really had my trust broken too much.
If theres one aspect of socialising I'm good at, it's seeing through people who aren't what they appear, I noticed it in highschool, people acted, used and backstabbed left right and center, and what was blatantly obvious to me wasn't really detected by others...
Regardless, I only place absolute trust in one person whom I've known since early primary school
If theres one aspect of socialising I'm good at, it's seeing through people who aren't what they appear, I noticed it in highschool, people acted, used and backstabbed left right and center, and what was blatantly obvious to me wasn't really detected by others...
Regardless, I only place absolute trust in one person whom I've known since early primary school
yep they do at my old school no one really liked my cause i was diffrent. i was suffering from Multipler personailty disorder paranoia and MoreSaviordd1 said:
so what people like to do was befriend me and then stab me in the back because it was funny. They would convice people not to talk to me because i was a schizo [which wassn't fully true] and called me a freak.
they would befriend me then stab me and lie about stuff that i had said. because it was funny, i told someone i liked anime and they went around saying that i was into hentai and weird stuff.
i said i work at KFC they come to my workplace and make my job a living hell
i told someone i have a crush on this girl. this person then tells the girl i like that i have AID's and STD's that i got from my mother
So yeah i dont trust many people. They lie and backstab just so they can get apprecation for themselves
So yes backstabbing is very previlent and now i only trust my self
I broke up with my ex boyfriend about a year and a half ago. We'd been dating for 2 years and lived together. About 6 months later I got a facebook message from his 'friend', explaining to me that they'd been sleeping together for the last year of our relationship, and proceeded to pour out details to lessen her guilt. I told her to go away and she sent _another_ email with more details. It wasn't until after that I got a letter from my ex saying pretty much "Boohoo, sorry, I feel bad now that I was found out, forgive please, kthanksbye". Needless to say I didn't answer it, counted myself lucky that I'd broken up with him and moved on.
Relationships are still hard for me. Serious trust issues.
Relationships are still hard for me. Serious trust issues.
Yeah, teenagers seem to be addicted to backstabbing. I swear that teenagers are having hard times developing emotional intelligence. It's like they can recognize the damage they can cause and seek to do it because they can't understand the pain it can be put on someone else, but they always are there to complain and ***** when it happens to them. I've personally tried to live by one adage. "Treat others how you'd like to be treated." I screw up a lot with people I probably shouldn't be putting down sometimes. There is just something about being able to project myself about others because I've always gotten put down. Maybe that is why so many teenagers do the same thing.
I guess it's worth noting that some people are just born with a concentrated source of evil in their hearts and will do whatever it tells them to. Seems high school gathers a lot of them.
I guess it's worth noting that some people are just born with a concentrated source of evil in their hearts and will do whatever it tells them to. Seems high school gathers a lot of them.
Bad trust issues and low self esteem
...I guess growing up my best friend, I didn't so much 'trust' as much as know well enough to understand his bullshit - honestly I found out most of what was going on from what he didn't tell me. So I never really developed a deep trusting relationship in my teens and was always kinda loner...
I failed to get the girl - and this probably hurt the most because at this time, I was pretty well guarded...and a cynic...people where pieces to be moved on a board, who was I close to, who could I influence, who were threats, where were their opportunists...'friendships' were not about trust - they were calculated risks. Anyway given that can you imagine my shock to find someone who slipped right past all that...and it wasn't that she was stunning or bright or any one thing you could point to....she just was. Along with my old 'best friend' and some others she was part of my 'group'
I spent years trying to get close to her, in this time I introduced her to some of my old friends, she started dating one of them. She met another guy I helped through school, and yep you guessed. I even took her out one night and she hit on some twins....Looking back I was a bloody idiot...but...
That group started to fracture when my best friend split with his girlfriend, now she was something special...I defended her, I helped her...I did what I could, she's one of the few people who really I let my guard down for - to help her I had to...and she was really was something special. She had it all the looks, the brains, and the personality...when a few months before I'd - well nearly killed someone in a drinking game less then a week after my grandads death, at her birthday party - she'd been good enough to forgive and forget unlike some....she'd had past relationship issues so was taking it hard...I'll never know if I helped much, or at all...she left, and I let her go...it was the only thing I could do.
After that I can honestly say I drifted through maybe 3 to 4 years of my life eating take-aways watching porn, playing games and pretty much doing nothing...I had no real self worth, no goal, no ambition....nothing
The only 'bright' spot was the time I tried to come out of my shell, met a girl...and the only thing I saw in her was fun and free, but I'd hoped something I could enjoy with her, who cheated on me and got herself pregnant - which probably knocked me back years...
After that, I reconnected with an old fired, pulled myself out of the hole, retrained my brain somewhat...built a new circle of friends - met my wife, moved, suffered depression and a mini breakdown, come home....which hasn't helped with the whole self esteem as not a lot breaks you like knowing how weak you can be....
Do I trust people...by my standards it's a hell of an improvement...but I'm not sure it's trust....I still have lots of nagging doubts, that I need to put down....but I think maybe I'm a little too scarred, and a little too fucked up to really change much more...I'm mostly happy with my life...and I don't think that's to bad a place to be considering my years of mostly hating myself/my life and then a void of nothingness....
So yeh my life since late teens in a post, not that good huh?
...I guess growing up my best friend, I didn't so much 'trust' as much as know well enough to understand his bullshit - honestly I found out most of what was going on from what he didn't tell me. So I never really developed a deep trusting relationship in my teens and was always kinda loner...
I failed to get the girl - and this probably hurt the most because at this time, I was pretty well guarded...and a cynic...people where pieces to be moved on a board, who was I close to, who could I influence, who were threats, where were their opportunists...'friendships' were not about trust - they were calculated risks. Anyway given that can you imagine my shock to find someone who slipped right past all that...and it wasn't that she was stunning or bright or any one thing you could point to....she just was. Along with my old 'best friend' and some others she was part of my 'group'
I spent years trying to get close to her, in this time I introduced her to some of my old friends, she started dating one of them. She met another guy I helped through school, and yep you guessed. I even took her out one night and she hit on some twins....Looking back I was a bloody idiot...but...
That group started to fracture when my best friend split with his girlfriend, now she was something special...I defended her, I helped her...I did what I could, she's one of the few people who really I let my guard down for - to help her I had to...and she was really was something special. She had it all the looks, the brains, and the personality...when a few months before I'd - well nearly killed someone in a drinking game less then a week after my grandads death, at her birthday party - she'd been good enough to forgive and forget unlike some....she'd had past relationship issues so was taking it hard...I'll never know if I helped much, or at all...she left, and I let her go...it was the only thing I could do.
After that I can honestly say I drifted through maybe 3 to 4 years of my life eating take-aways watching porn, playing games and pretty much doing nothing...I had no real self worth, no goal, no ambition....nothing
The only 'bright' spot was the time I tried to come out of my shell, met a girl...and the only thing I saw in her was fun and free, but I'd hoped something I could enjoy with her, who cheated on me and got herself pregnant - which probably knocked me back years...
After that, I reconnected with an old fired, pulled myself out of the hole, retrained my brain somewhat...built a new circle of friends - met my wife, moved, suffered depression and a mini breakdown, come home....which hasn't helped with the whole self esteem as not a lot breaks you like knowing how weak you can be....
Do I trust people...by my standards it's a hell of an improvement...but I'm not sure it's trust....I still have lots of nagging doubts, that I need to put down....but I think maybe I'm a little too scarred, and a little too fucked up to really change much more...I'm mostly happy with my life...and I don't think that's to bad a place to be considering my years of mostly hating myself/my life and then a void of nothingness....
So yeh my life since late teens in a post, not that good huh?
My best friend has before, but I forgave him and nothing has really changed.
I'm a pretty trusting guy in general.
I'm a pretty trusting guy in general.
I say kudos for you for knowing how to move on and be positive. I'm just trying to be able to do that.sniddy said:
Really? That's just recklessly foolish. Or foolishly reckless.Kalezian said:
Anyways.
I trusted my parents, but then they became abusive. Physically, mentally. I don't remember a lot from before I was thirteen as a result. Oh, and they totally lied about Santa Claus, the bastards.
I don't remember keeping many friends. I do remember distinctly having my trust betrayed by a single person, over something stupid. He came to my house everyday, so we were pretty close, I guess. Walked to school together. But I was like, 12, so it was dumb.
I finally fell in love. As anyone would tell you, BIG MISTAKE. We dated for two years. She found out her uncle had been using the money she raised for the animal sanctuary where she worked for his own ends. She couldn't stay there knowing that, but she loved those animals. As such, she panicked. Went out to find her place in the world, assuring me she loved me and all that garbage before leaving.
A few months later, she sends an email saying she's not coming back. I ask some questions, get increasingly vague and cryptic answers, then suddenly she stops replying to me whatsoever. How can you still love someone, and claim such over and over, and tell them they're a wonderful person, all before leaving them without ever intending to return? Without ever saying why, or even where you're going? She lied to me. I trusted her, but in the end, she never could tell me the real truth.
Next I had a short fling with some other girl. A dominant in the S&M scene, of sorts. Anyway, she obviously abused my trust and dumped me out like some ball of garbage too, shouldn't come as any surprise; but she was downright vicious when it came to how she did it. I don't really want to talk about it. Ironically, we were never really in a "relationship"; she was already married, and I wasn't interested in her sexually, but she wanted to help me through the "Hard times" (I still take the loss of my fiance hard, even today). Bullshit, though. All she wanted to do was play around with me and dump me off. Probably gets off to it, pretending to talk to people about their issues and then stabbing them in the back.
So yeah, fat chance I'll ever trust ANYONE again. Ever.