chiggerwood said:
Treeinthewoods said:
I used to be a staunch atheist and anti-military. Now I am a Chaplain's Assistant in the Air National Guard, teach youth group and sing in my churches worship band.
Funny how life can change a person 180 degrees.
I understand keeping a long story short, but there's a story here that needs to be told. Also, just curious, does your worship band ever sing Tom Wait's "Come On Up to the House"?
Well brace up because this is long...
Okay. Through highschool and college I was a pretty typical nerd, very strong academic and even though I did sports I never did the cool ones so it didn't help. I was confident that I could deal with all of lifes issues on my own, that religion was a strictly a man created device to control the masses, and that military service was for people way dumber than me. America was an evil occupier and anyone who enlisted was giving their approval to attrocities. I was way to smart for any of that garbage, I was destined for greatness.
While finishing college I met the woman who would eventually be my wife. After three years we got married and got our first house together. I had a good paying job with a big bank, life was good. We partied and traveled a lot, we had lots of friends and fun toys to play with.
My wife and I had our daughter after two years, when she was born my wife decided to stay home and let me worry about the income, which I thought was the perfect idea for our family. What I never really admitted was how unhappy I was at my job. It was why we always partied so hard every weekend, to help me unwind from the shit I went through during my 9-5. I explained to people with nothing that they no longer owned their homes, I charged people ridiculous fees because it was the policy from the big bosses. I went to lunches with peoe talking about how being profit focused was a great thing, how we had a responsibility to make as much money as possible. I saw people fired for making choices that I believed were right for the customer, I fired three people for failing to meet sales goals that were set by my bosses bosses boss, goals I believed were ridiculous.
As a parents we were no longer able to party ourselves blind every weekend with reckless abandon. Kids are a joy but they also provide a lot of work and stress. I became withdrawn, I was isolating myself at home, leaving the house and the baby to my wife as I played video games or watched TV. This went on for two years when it all snapped.
My wife came to me crying, asking why I stopped loving her, why she was alone all the time, why I barely interacted with Cassie. I finally confessed it was misery and depression from a soul sucking job that consumed my life. I had everything I wanted as a kid and none of it was worth it. We attended marriage counseling for six months and started making pLans to change some things.
The big thing I noticed was that I had no support system to fall back on. As smart, wealthy and smooth as I was I was spiritually starving. I realized I had a hole in my heart and I had been filling it with parties, booze and fun. I needed something real and concrete to base myself on, something that would not change. My wife was kind blown, the staunch atheist who loved mocking Christmas as a pagan ritual, who refused to donate to any religious charity was having a spiritual crisis. At the suggestion of our counselor we began looking for a way to be fed spiritually. We tried six different churches over the next six months, Mormon, Catholic, Jewish, Buddhist, Lutheran and a non-denominational Christian church. It ended up being the non-denominational church that we fell in love with.
I started attending regular bible study groups, reading the New Testament and trying to apply it to my daily life. I attended workshops on being a better husband, a better parent and a better man altogether. I made some of the best friends I have ever known and I found what I was missing for those years before.
A large number of the men in my men's group were former or current military. I researched the Guard carefully and looked into what they do. I realized that my assumptions about the military where largely inaccurate, just like my assumptons about God had been. I decided it was time to give some of myself in service, to work to pay back what I had taken over the years. Also, having benefits through the Guard would allow me to eave the bank and find a better path without risking my families health. I saw it as a way to pursue a new path, to pursue personal growth and a new outlook on life and to stop chasing nothing but the next paycheck.
Lo and behold, I enlisted. And of all the crazy stuff I tested as having the highest affinity for working with my hands as a maintaner, a total change from what I had been doing all those years. So after six months away from my family I came home as an Airman. I was so able to get a full time position on my base which meant I quit the bank (Hallelujah!) and began searching for more.ways to give back, to show my thanks for all that I have been given.
Singing was first, my brothers at Basic liked my voice and asked me to sing during dorm details every Sunday. They loved it, at tech school I found the worship band had lost their singer so I volunteered. So naturally I auditioned for the worship band at my home church once I got back. Then I was asked to escort a few youth group outings. I thought the kids were.super awesome so my wife and I started to volunteer regularly and we still do.
Since I am a maintaner full time I was able to make a.change to my drill weekend duties. There was an opening, so now one weekend a month I assist the Chaplain and also work his security detail. Deployment can mean I go as a maintainer or as Chaplain security now but either one is okay. Four months in the desert every few years is a small price to pay for what I have been given.
Essentially, doing the two things I used to be the most against ended up opening more doors then I could have imagined. God and the US Air Force saved my family and my life, all I had to do was come to them.
Lastly, no I am not familiar with that song. My personal favorites st this time are Hosanna in the Highest, Forever and Your Love Never Changes.
Hope that answers your question, sorry this was so crazy long. It just isn't a simple story which is why I abbreviated it so much initially.