I've been meaning to review this one, since everybody and their dog was reviewing the Dark Knight (which you should go see. After you read this.) but somebody else did a review and I sort of lost interest. But, I'd already started the review in Word and, reading back, I figure I'll just give it to you anyway. Don't like it? TOO BAD.
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Hellboy 2: The Golden Army is the sequel to the rather well-received Hellboy, a movie based off a popular comic book about a demon who fights Nazis to save the world. It sounds great on paper and it worked surprisingly well in practice, though the movie actually could have used more Nazis--if you are going to have a movie with Nazis as your villains, they should be put in as many places as you can. Hide them under curtains, in the cupboards, in the underwear drawers--if there's an inch of film that doesn't have a Nazi in it, in some way, shape or form, then you have somehow failed (unless that non-Nazi space is filled in by Harrison Ford, in which case its ok.) Hellboy didn't oversaturate us with Nazis, but it was still a rather good film, so I was pretty psyched about its sequel, knowing full well that the Dark Knight would grossly overshadow it.
Hellboy 2 is a good film. Let's establish this off the bat--it is very entertaining, oftentimes hilarious and it has plenty of shooty violence to please everyone. It is, however, a comic book movie, and if you go into this having only se the first Hellboy expecting more of the same you are going to be rather alarmed when you realize that this movie isn't the mindless action flick that its predeccessor was. No! Hellboy 2 is a fully realized fantasy movie, with Elves and Goblins and talking rocks and tumors and the like, and its really an interesting opportunity to get a look into the mind of Guillermo Del Toro (the film's director). To sum up the movie neatly: Guillermo Del Toro and his special effects department orgasmed violently all over a lot of film and sent it off to theaters worldwide. Let that mental image comfort you in those dark hours of the night where you feel alone and lost.
Hellboy 2 starts abruptly, giving us a very aggravating look into the titular character's childhood, where he is read the most violent bedtime story ever written. Its basically "exposition-fest '08", and its a good indication of how this movie is going to play out for the next two hours--bizarre, haunting visuals, rich colors, and a story that is both nonsensical and yet easy to follow. We learn about the Golden Army, we are given the names of all of the major antagonists, and we get a lot of CG, and after twenty minutes of this, the movie starts proper. There's a very FAST feel to this movie--it doesn't really slow down or take its time anywhere outside of action scenes, and when it moves, it MOVES--the exposition-laden intro is one of the few slow parts of the movie, and even it moves at a startlingly fast pace.
Most of the old cast returns (or, at least, all of the ones we care about, which means Rupert "John Myers" Evans is gone without even a teary farewell) and they act as if they've never left. In fact, we're not really given a chance to be reintroduced to the characters--they waltz onscreen, Ron Perlman in all of his crimson glory, and Doug Jones as the fish guy--and we're not even given a chance to blink. There is a great new character, Johann Krauss, who is played by Seth Macfarlane of Family Guy fame, and he is brilliant. The movie was sold to me once he stepped on screen and first started talking in that ridiculous German accent. He actually gets a decent introduction, slow but steady, so we can understand how his character works and how he functions within the Hellboy team, which is great, because he's an AWESOME charcter. But, a movie isn't all introductions. Eventually, shit goes down, people start dying, and its up to Hellboy to save the day!
I mentioned in the opening the special effects, and you can't review this movie without mentioning them. To be blunt, this is a beautiful, monstrous movie. Every couple of scenes we get some new...thing...to dazzle us. The action scenes are beautifully choreographed, but the fighting is less important when compared to the fighters. There are MONSTERS in this movie--beautiful, disgusting, pulsating monstrous THINGS that fill the screen, pop out of nowhere and everywhere, and we keep getting more and more and more--you remember Pan's Labyrinth? You remember all of THOSE weird monsters? Well, after Pan's Labyrinth, Del Toro has basically stopped trying to show any restraint, and he gives us MONSTERS. The movie works well in this regard, because you watch it and it is beautiful to behold--you truly feel as if you are sinking into some primeval, part horror, part fantasy, part sci-fi world, and there's a noticeable difference between nature settings and urban ones. The human world seems bleak and grey and dull compared to the rich colors of the Troll Market or the ancient lost cities or...look, one can spend all day dancing around it, but let's just be frank: the movie looks great. Prepare to have your jaw drop and your brain break, because going into this movie, you will be seeing some weird, fucked up shit that I refuse to spoil for you here. So, moving on to other aspects of the film...
There's a tone within this movie that is almost borderline satirical. On one hand, the movie takes itself quite seriously--most of the story and settings exist to expand the mythos and explore the world that Hellboy lives in, giving us a lot more magic and sorcery and just fun gizmos and whatnot. On the other hand, there are times where you'll be watching and thinking "this has to be a parody or a satire or...something", because the movie has a tendency to mock itself quite gleefully. Ron Perlman is an anti-hero of epic proportions, oftentimes pimping into a scene and smacking around things or people for no evident reason, and there's a sense that the story WANTS Hellboy to do things in a specific way, but Hellboy just makes the story suck his big red cock, and doesn't even have the courtesy to offer it a cigarette after.
Perlman almost steals the show--he's hilarious, bad-ass and charming in his angry, grumpy fashion. As per standard, despite all of his bluster, Hellboy spends most of the movie getting his ass handed to him, but this time around its ok because we don't really feel like Hellboy NEEDS to prove anything to us because we already know he can rip apart some hideous Lovecraftian death god, so why should he need to be on his A-game for a bunch of emo elves? Its in this fashion that the movie shines, because there's a deliberate undercurrent of b-movie cheesiness to it, complete with the typical superhero/monster plot points: Hellboy just wants to be understood, Hellboy wants to be loves, the sidekick wants a girlfriend too, Hellboy's girlfriend is having relationship issues...take out the book of comic book movie cliches and you can run down the list in this movie, but its OK because each and every one of those cliches seems to be mocked and maligned by this movie's cast, who know they have a mission to do, but the majority of them just don't care.
This does, I'll say, clash with the really fast pace of the film itself, but eventually, even that sort of dies away--there's a 40 minute section in the middle that is basically just (minor spoilers) Hellboy and Abe Sapien getting very drunk and talking about women. (end spoilers) and this part is not only incredibly funny, but its also the purest indicator of how these movies need to WORK--ultimately, all of the great costumes, monsters, CG effects and action aren't neccessary, because this ISN'T that kind of movie--not really. Instead, this movie is an homage, parody and glorious reminder that sometimes, pure imagination can make up for a lot of flaws.
---
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army is the sequel to the rather well-received Hellboy, a movie based off a popular comic book about a demon who fights Nazis to save the world. It sounds great on paper and it worked surprisingly well in practice, though the movie actually could have used more Nazis--if you are going to have a movie with Nazis as your villains, they should be put in as many places as you can. Hide them under curtains, in the cupboards, in the underwear drawers--if there's an inch of film that doesn't have a Nazi in it, in some way, shape or form, then you have somehow failed (unless that non-Nazi space is filled in by Harrison Ford, in which case its ok.) Hellboy didn't oversaturate us with Nazis, but it was still a rather good film, so I was pretty psyched about its sequel, knowing full well that the Dark Knight would grossly overshadow it.
Hellboy 2 is a good film. Let's establish this off the bat--it is very entertaining, oftentimes hilarious and it has plenty of shooty violence to please everyone. It is, however, a comic book movie, and if you go into this having only se the first Hellboy expecting more of the same you are going to be rather alarmed when you realize that this movie isn't the mindless action flick that its predeccessor was. No! Hellboy 2 is a fully realized fantasy movie, with Elves and Goblins and talking rocks and tumors and the like, and its really an interesting opportunity to get a look into the mind of Guillermo Del Toro (the film's director). To sum up the movie neatly: Guillermo Del Toro and his special effects department orgasmed violently all over a lot of film and sent it off to theaters worldwide. Let that mental image comfort you in those dark hours of the night where you feel alone and lost.
Hellboy 2 starts abruptly, giving us a very aggravating look into the titular character's childhood, where he is read the most violent bedtime story ever written. Its basically "exposition-fest '08", and its a good indication of how this movie is going to play out for the next two hours--bizarre, haunting visuals, rich colors, and a story that is both nonsensical and yet easy to follow. We learn about the Golden Army, we are given the names of all of the major antagonists, and we get a lot of CG, and after twenty minutes of this, the movie starts proper. There's a very FAST feel to this movie--it doesn't really slow down or take its time anywhere outside of action scenes, and when it moves, it MOVES--the exposition-laden intro is one of the few slow parts of the movie, and even it moves at a startlingly fast pace.
Most of the old cast returns (or, at least, all of the ones we care about, which means Rupert "John Myers" Evans is gone without even a teary farewell) and they act as if they've never left. In fact, we're not really given a chance to be reintroduced to the characters--they waltz onscreen, Ron Perlman in all of his crimson glory, and Doug Jones as the fish guy--and we're not even given a chance to blink. There is a great new character, Johann Krauss, who is played by Seth Macfarlane of Family Guy fame, and he is brilliant. The movie was sold to me once he stepped on screen and first started talking in that ridiculous German accent. He actually gets a decent introduction, slow but steady, so we can understand how his character works and how he functions within the Hellboy team, which is great, because he's an AWESOME charcter. But, a movie isn't all introductions. Eventually, shit goes down, people start dying, and its up to Hellboy to save the day!
I mentioned in the opening the special effects, and you can't review this movie without mentioning them. To be blunt, this is a beautiful, monstrous movie. Every couple of scenes we get some new...thing...to dazzle us. The action scenes are beautifully choreographed, but the fighting is less important when compared to the fighters. There are MONSTERS in this movie--beautiful, disgusting, pulsating monstrous THINGS that fill the screen, pop out of nowhere and everywhere, and we keep getting more and more and more--you remember Pan's Labyrinth? You remember all of THOSE weird monsters? Well, after Pan's Labyrinth, Del Toro has basically stopped trying to show any restraint, and he gives us MONSTERS. The movie works well in this regard, because you watch it and it is beautiful to behold--you truly feel as if you are sinking into some primeval, part horror, part fantasy, part sci-fi world, and there's a noticeable difference between nature settings and urban ones. The human world seems bleak and grey and dull compared to the rich colors of the Troll Market or the ancient lost cities or...look, one can spend all day dancing around it, but let's just be frank: the movie looks great. Prepare to have your jaw drop and your brain break, because going into this movie, you will be seeing some weird, fucked up shit that I refuse to spoil for you here. So, moving on to other aspects of the film...
There's a tone within this movie that is almost borderline satirical. On one hand, the movie takes itself quite seriously--most of the story and settings exist to expand the mythos and explore the world that Hellboy lives in, giving us a lot more magic and sorcery and just fun gizmos and whatnot. On the other hand, there are times where you'll be watching and thinking "this has to be a parody or a satire or...something", because the movie has a tendency to mock itself quite gleefully. Ron Perlman is an anti-hero of epic proportions, oftentimes pimping into a scene and smacking around things or people for no evident reason, and there's a sense that the story WANTS Hellboy to do things in a specific way, but Hellboy just makes the story suck his big red cock, and doesn't even have the courtesy to offer it a cigarette after.
Perlman almost steals the show--he's hilarious, bad-ass and charming in his angry, grumpy fashion. As per standard, despite all of his bluster, Hellboy spends most of the movie getting his ass handed to him, but this time around its ok because we don't really feel like Hellboy NEEDS to prove anything to us because we already know he can rip apart some hideous Lovecraftian death god, so why should he need to be on his A-game for a bunch of emo elves? Its in this fashion that the movie shines, because there's a deliberate undercurrent of b-movie cheesiness to it, complete with the typical superhero/monster plot points: Hellboy just wants to be understood, Hellboy wants to be loves, the sidekick wants a girlfriend too, Hellboy's girlfriend is having relationship issues...take out the book of comic book movie cliches and you can run down the list in this movie, but its OK because each and every one of those cliches seems to be mocked and maligned by this movie's cast, who know they have a mission to do, but the majority of them just don't care.
This does, I'll say, clash with the really fast pace of the film itself, but eventually, even that sort of dies away--there's a 40 minute section in the middle that is basically just (minor spoilers) Hellboy and Abe Sapien getting very drunk and talking about women. (end spoilers) and this part is not only incredibly funny, but its also the purest indicator of how these movies need to WORK--ultimately, all of the great costumes, monsters, CG effects and action aren't neccessary, because this ISN'T that kind of movie--not really. Instead, this movie is an homage, parody and glorious reminder that sometimes, pure imagination can make up for a lot of flaws.
