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Until Friday, I had completely forgotten that Hell in a Cell was even happening this soon. Its build, outside of its primary feud of Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins, has been very mediocre. Oh, and I guess Big Show/Rusev, too, although that's jumped the shark and gotten whiny. But looking at the card, it looks like we very well could be in for an entertaining show. Maybe. I don't know things; I'm just here because I have no life.
WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) vs. Goldust and Stardust
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb407.jpg
Prediction: It seems like the run that the Dust Brothers will have involves losing almost every single match that isn't on a PPV, but then winning when the titles are on the line. That's how it's worked so far, even though they haven't even been champions for that long. Regardless, that's what I'll suggest will happen at Hell in a Cell. There isn't much reason for Goldust and Stardust to lose the titles, or for The Usos to regain them. But, hey, that hasn't stopped WWE before. I still think that they retain their belts at the PPV.
Random Thoughts: Do you know what we need? A better tag team division. It's the weakest division in WWE right now -- yes, more so than the Divas -- and is in most need of fixing. Isn't that kind of sad? The Usos are the only legitimate team right now. Even the champions are less legitimate than they are.
Big Show vs. Rusev (with Lana)
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb408.jpg
Prediction: If the WWE is stupid, Big Show will win. WWE is pretty stupid, but I don't think the company is quite that dumb. Rusev's never-been-pinned-or-submitted streak shouldn't end to someone who's already as established as Big Show. I'm guessing Mark Henry will interfere and cost Big Show the match, and finally cement the heel turn in the process.
Random Thoughts: If Mark Henry does turn heel, that means we might have to see him feud with Big Show afterward. That'll ... really suck. It'll result in bad matches. And what next for Rusev? With whom does he feud after Big Show? You can't keep the patriotic angle going forever, right? I know we're all hoping for Kurt Angle, but even if that happens, it won't until January.
WWE Divas Championship Match: AJ Lee vs. Paige
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb409.jpg
Prediction: WWE has a lot invested in AJ. I'm sure that's also at least partially true for Paige, but she's less established and nowhere near as over. And given that the other Diva match on the card is likely going to have the heel win, I'm guessing that AJ will see herself retaining here.
Random Thoughts: You know, Paige hasn't done a single thing to warrant a title shot. I know WWE is short on credible, non-Total Divas women, but still. You don't need to let them win, but having someone else challenge AJ would be swell. Hey, technically speaking, Eva Marie deserves a title shot. She did pin the champion a couple of times in a row.
<color=Red>2 Out of 3 Falls Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb410.jpg
Prediction: This very well could be the match of the night. As for who wins? Well, one of them will get the first fall, the other will get the second, and then we'll flip a coin for the final fall. I'm going to guess Cesaro wins, since it'd be swell to see him with the championship, but this one is really anyone's pick.
Random Thoughts: The Intercontinental Championship should really seem more prestigious now that Lesnar only shows up once every few months, but it's not going that way. It's hard to even remember that Ziggler is the champion.
<color=Red>Hell in a Cell Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb411.jpg
Prediction: This, in theory, should be the main event, but I get the feeling it's not going to be placed in that slot. As to who wins? Well, a Hell in a Cell match seems like it would be perfect for Dean Ambrose to take the victory, but it's tough to discount the fact that Kane isn't otherwise involved in this PPV, and if there was one match where he might try to interfere, it would be this one. I mean, it probably won't be too hard to have him get inside the cell somehow. Even then, I get the feeling that Dean Ambrose might overcome the odds -- someone has to, if not John Cena -- and win anyway. It looks to me like he'll walk away from the PPV as the victor.
Random Thoughts: Does this feud continue? I kind of hope not. It has lost a lot of its intensity over the last few weeks.
WWE United States Championship Match: Sheamus vs. The Miz (with Damien Sandow)
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb412.jpg
Prediction: It'd be really swell to see The Miz pick up the victory here and then see him feud with his stunt double, Damien Sandow. That's the feud I want to see next, as it'll have just the right mix of humor and delusion to it. Will WWE go that route? I don't know. It's hard to see Sheamus losing cleanly to Miz, but, then, he doesn't have to. Sandow can help Miz cheat. And he might just do. I'm predicting The Miz wins this match.
Random Thoughts: The more I talk about it, the more I want to see Miz and Sandow feud. Either for the U.S. title, or for the title of "The Miz." Or both. That'd be lots of fun, I think.
<color=Red>Loser Becomes the Winner's Personal Assistant Match: Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb413.jpg
Prediction: The babyface never wins these matches. Well, not never never, but very rarely. And, really, can you see Brie Bella being in a more dominating role? Nikki is being booked as evil and as a powerhouse; she can't lose this match. It just doesn't work. She has to win.
Random Thoughts: Remember when this feud was front-and-center? Now it barely gets a single slot on TV. And it's not like it's winding down or anything, either.
<color=Red>Number One Contender's Hell in a Cell Match: John Cena vs. Randy Orton
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb414.jpg
Prediction: "Cenawinslol." Uh, so, Randy Orton against Brock Lesnar is something that we need to see, so I'm going to predict that Orton wins. Will it happen? Who knows? But it could really go either way, and I'd rather see Orton/Lesnar than another round of Cena/Lesnar.
Random Thoughts: There was a report that Orton was legitimately hurt after Raw, and if that's true, then he's not winning. He'll probably work this match and then take some time off. But, if he's okay to go, he should win. It would be best for business.
That's our PPV, folks. Who do you think will emerge victorious from Hell in a Cell?
<color=D6D9DA>_________________________________________________________________________________
If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
For an archive of all my previous WWE reviews, please go <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.846764-Marters-WWE-Reviews-Archive>here.
Talk to me on the Twitter, <url=https://twitter.com/martertweet>@martertweet.
Until Friday, I had completely forgotten that Hell in a Cell was even happening this soon. Its build, outside of its primary feud of Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins, has been very mediocre. Oh, and I guess Big Show/Rusev, too, although that's jumped the shark and gotten whiny. But looking at the card, it looks like we very well could be in for an entertaining show. Maybe. I don't know things; I'm just here because I have no life.
WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) vs. Goldust and Stardust
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb407.jpg
Prediction: It seems like the run that the Dust Brothers will have involves losing almost every single match that isn't on a PPV, but then winning when the titles are on the line. That's how it's worked so far, even though they haven't even been champions for that long. Regardless, that's what I'll suggest will happen at Hell in a Cell. There isn't much reason for Goldust and Stardust to lose the titles, or for The Usos to regain them. But, hey, that hasn't stopped WWE before. I still think that they retain their belts at the PPV.
Random Thoughts: Do you know what we need? A better tag team division. It's the weakest division in WWE right now -- yes, more so than the Divas -- and is in most need of fixing. Isn't that kind of sad? The Usos are the only legitimate team right now. Even the champions are less legitimate than they are.
Big Show vs. Rusev (with Lana)
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb408.jpg
Prediction: If the WWE is stupid, Big Show will win. WWE is pretty stupid, but I don't think the company is quite that dumb. Rusev's never-been-pinned-or-submitted streak shouldn't end to someone who's already as established as Big Show. I'm guessing Mark Henry will interfere and cost Big Show the match, and finally cement the heel turn in the process.
Random Thoughts: If Mark Henry does turn heel, that means we might have to see him feud with Big Show afterward. That'll ... really suck. It'll result in bad matches. And what next for Rusev? With whom does he feud after Big Show? You can't keep the patriotic angle going forever, right? I know we're all hoping for Kurt Angle, but even if that happens, it won't until January.
WWE Divas Championship Match: AJ Lee vs. Paige
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb409.jpg
Prediction: WWE has a lot invested in AJ. I'm sure that's also at least partially true for Paige, but she's less established and nowhere near as over. And given that the other Diva match on the card is likely going to have the heel win, I'm guessing that AJ will see herself retaining here.
Random Thoughts: You know, Paige hasn't done a single thing to warrant a title shot. I know WWE is short on credible, non-Total Divas women, but still. You don't need to let them win, but having someone else challenge AJ would be swell. Hey, technically speaking, Eva Marie deserves a title shot. She did pin the champion a couple of times in a row.
<color=Red>2 Out of 3 Falls Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb410.jpg
Prediction: This very well could be the match of the night. As for who wins? Well, one of them will get the first fall, the other will get the second, and then we'll flip a coin for the final fall. I'm going to guess Cesaro wins, since it'd be swell to see him with the championship, but this one is really anyone's pick.
Random Thoughts: The Intercontinental Championship should really seem more prestigious now that Lesnar only shows up once every few months, but it's not going that way. It's hard to even remember that Ziggler is the champion.
<color=Red>Hell in a Cell Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb411.jpg
Prediction: This, in theory, should be the main event, but I get the feeling it's not going to be placed in that slot. As to who wins? Well, a Hell in a Cell match seems like it would be perfect for Dean Ambrose to take the victory, but it's tough to discount the fact that Kane isn't otherwise involved in this PPV, and if there was one match where he might try to interfere, it would be this one. I mean, it probably won't be too hard to have him get inside the cell somehow. Even then, I get the feeling that Dean Ambrose might overcome the odds -- someone has to, if not John Cena -- and win anyway. It looks to me like he'll walk away from the PPV as the victor.
Random Thoughts: Does this feud continue? I kind of hope not. It has lost a lot of its intensity over the last few weeks.
WWE United States Championship Match: Sheamus vs. The Miz (with Damien Sandow)
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb412.jpg
Prediction: It'd be really swell to see The Miz pick up the victory here and then see him feud with his stunt double, Damien Sandow. That's the feud I want to see next, as it'll have just the right mix of humor and delusion to it. Will WWE go that route? I don't know. It's hard to see Sheamus losing cleanly to Miz, but, then, he doesn't have to. Sandow can help Miz cheat. And he might just do. I'm predicting The Miz wins this match.
Random Thoughts: The more I talk about it, the more I want to see Miz and Sandow feud. Either for the U.S. title, or for the title of "The Miz." Or both. That'd be lots of fun, I think.
<color=Red>Loser Becomes the Winner's Personal Assistant Match: Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb413.jpg
Prediction: The babyface never wins these matches. Well, not never never, but very rarely. And, really, can you see Brie Bella being in a more dominating role? Nikki is being booked as evil and as a powerhouse; she can't lose this match. It just doesn't work. She has to win.
Random Thoughts: Remember when this feud was front-and-center? Now it barely gets a single slot on TV. And it's not like it's winding down or anything, either.
<color=Red>Number One Contender's Hell in a Cell Match: John Cena vs. Randy Orton
http://i39.servimg.com/u/f39/16/09/70/40/clipb414.jpg
Prediction: "Cenawinslol." Uh, so, Randy Orton against Brock Lesnar is something that we need to see, so I'm going to predict that Orton wins. Will it happen? Who knows? But it could really go either way, and I'd rather see Orton/Lesnar than another round of Cena/Lesnar.
Random Thoughts: There was a report that Orton was legitimately hurt after Raw, and if that's true, then he's not winning. He'll probably work this match and then take some time off. But, if he's okay to go, he should win. It would be best for business.
That's our PPV, folks. Who do you think will emerge victorious from Hell in a Cell?
<color=D6D9DA>_________________________________________________________________________________
If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
For an archive of all my previous WWE reviews, please go <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.846764-Marters-WWE-Reviews-Archive>here.
Talk to me on the Twitter, <url=https://twitter.com/martertweet>@martertweet.