After looking back at previous posts I realized most of them, at least on this Forum, are about girls... I'm OK with that. Anyway, so I really like this girl in my History class at school but theirs two major flaws with this. One, I'm not very good at talking to her (or people in general) and honestly I think she thinks that I'm only competing with her to see who gets the higher grade in the class. And two, I just have this sinking feeling in my stomach whenever I try to ask her out. I know I'm being a hypocrite but I think it's my mind telling me not to ask her out cause I need to focus on my school work. I know I'm being really confusing right now and everything but I really do want to date this girl but I also really want to keep up my average in college and to ensure that I can't have any distractions. So what do you all think I should do?
Help getting a really smart girl...
- Thread starter shwnbob
- Start date
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Ask her to study together? That would take care of issue 2, assuming it is what you think it is (though I would think it's just because of issue 1 + you liking her)
This will let you get closer to each other, which will (hopefully) end up with you being comfortable enough with her, which will then make asking her out easier.
Still doesn't do much for how and all, but it's a start.
This will let you get closer to each other, which will (hopefully) end up with you being comfortable enough with her, which will then make asking her out easier.
Still doesn't do much for how and all, but it's a start.
You're building this situation up inside your head way bigger than what it needs to be.shwnbob said:
The way to ask girls out is for maximum success and minimum embarrassment/nerves is to approach it as a "social" thing, not a "romantic" thing. The romance comes later - the goal of a first date is just to get the date, and then to establish that you're the kind of guy who she might want to date even more. That's all.
Don't worry about school work, seriously. The happiness that comes from going out with someone you like, and the pain that comes from rejection, have one thing in common: they are both brilliant for focusing you in on your schoolwork. In life you'll have to cope with many things happening at one time so you may as well get practice now.
Also don't worry about getting her alone. You don't need to do that to ask a girl out. What's the worst that can happen? At the very least whoever's watching will say "whoa, he's got balls of steel" but to be honest a successful "ask" is something that when delivered properly would barely raise an eyebrow amongst friends anyway.
Just ask her. You are building this up bigger than it needs to be. I know it is incredibly nerve-wracking asking someone out, but the worst that'll happen is she'll say no. Which sounds awful, but believe me it is better than putting it off and admiring her from afar, as it were. I once put myself through four months of hell in a similar situation, it is REALLY not worth it. If you are really into this girl and put it off, your grades will suffer far more than if you ever went out with her. I find it's best to be up front about your feelings.
If she's always got company, try the asking her to study with you thing. Or just say 'Can I speak to you about something?' and move a little away from the group. If all else fails, just come out with it. You might even get a reputation for being ballsy.
Lastly, if she's as smart as you claim, I'm sure she understands that study is important and you will need to find space for it in the relationship. I highly doubt your grades would suffer.
If she's always got company, try the asking her to study with you thing. Or just say 'Can I speak to you about something?' and move a little away from the group. If all else fails, just come out with it. You might even get a reputation for being ballsy.
Lastly, if she's as smart as you claim, I'm sure she understands that study is important and you will need to find space for it in the relationship. I highly doubt your grades would suffer.
Actually, if a girl is not alone she is, by social pressure, more inclined to just say yes to a date. Because if she just flat out refuses she risks being seen as cold-hearted by her friends.
But the same things that makes a "dumb" girl like you applies to "smart" girls as well.
I almost exclusively go out with university attending girls. They aren't mystical creatures any more than other girls.. Well.. I guess that makes them rather mystical in itself..
But the same things that makes a "dumb" girl like you applies to "smart" girls as well.
I almost exclusively go out with university attending girls. They aren't mystical creatures any more than other girls.. Well.. I guess that makes them rather mystical in itself..
Stop being a P**** and ask her out!
I kid, i kid..
OT: Like the guys are saying, you're building this up. If you don't ever ask her, you don't ever go out with her. Sure rejection is tough and possibly embarrasing, but that's just stuff you've gotta eat through.
I kid, i kid..
OT: Like the guys are saying, you're building this up. If you don't ever ask her, you don't ever go out with her. Sure rejection is tough and possibly embarrasing, but that's just stuff you've gotta eat through.
I agree with previous posts, become her friend first and since you both seem to be of the hardworking type, it could be by asking to revise with her or ask her for help on something you aren't 100% about. If you share classes that have debatable topics, such as religion, you could get a good conversation going.
She sounds like she has a few friends shes always with, maybe you could approach one of them for advice as well.
Theres no correct answer to your question, but nothing will ever happen if you sit back and wait. I'd recommend you to pick up the courage to talk to her or ask her out rather than sit and worry over it. The worst thing that can happen is rejection, but friendship is most likely always an option first.
She sounds like she has a few friends shes always with, maybe you could approach one of them for advice as well.
Theres no correct answer to your question, but nothing will ever happen if you sit back and wait. I'd recommend you to pick up the courage to talk to her or ask her out rather than sit and worry over it. The worst thing that can happen is rejection, but friendship is most likely always an option first.