Help I Need Some Relationship Advice!

Gralian

Me, I'm Counting
Sep 24, 2008
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peacefulescape said:
She hasn't returned my messages or calls this past weekend, and I don't know what to do now because I don't even know what went wrong. I'm not sure if she has another guy, or if she genuinely wasn't happy, and the ambiguity is driving me crazy. What do you think I should do about this? I really want her back but I won't be able to achieve it if I don't even know what went wrong.
Take it from someone who recently had divorce finalised. It's not always your fault and sometimes people just fall out of sync. There could be numerous reasons she is not happy with the relationship. Understand that it doesn't necessarily have to come from you or be something that you personally have done. If she feels it's time to move on, then it's time to move on. You can't force someone to be with you and you can't bash a square peg in a round hole.

That was a hard lesson for me to learn but it gets much easier if you understand when to let someone go if they have had enough or have lost romantic interest. It's not right to guilt someone into staying or try to force them to explain their actions and handwave away any unhappiness caused in both yourself and your partner, whether it's justified or not.

Personally, i would try to call or leave a message, explain that you understand she is not happy and that she needs her space. You accept if she feels it is time for her to move on but you would really like an honest, frank talk about the relationship, both the good and the bad, and that you genuinely would like to know if it is something you both can work on. (That's another thing, you can't be the one giving 100% you both have to be willing to put work into the relationship for it to succeed. It's a partnership not a burden.)

If she is not interested or continued to ignore your attempts to parley then i would strongly advise that the ship has sunk and try your best to move on. Once she has processed what has happened she may try to communicate with you again, but whether you choose to go down that road would be up to you after you have had a chance for some introspection.

I hope this helps. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through and i truly can empathise with your situation. Best of luck.