Help me help you

[Brotherofwill]

I have been finding myself in a similar situation a few times in the past few weeks:

I meet cool people that I want to get to know better but I can't really get into a conversation with them.

I'm not shy, I don't mind talking to or approaching people but I simply don't have the first few words that would initate a bit of dialogue. I tend to overthink what I say, which makes it harder then it should be. Do you have any suggestions on how to start a conversation without it feeling forced?

This isn't a party situation (it isn't a problem to talk to people then since the athmosphere almost demands it) and I'm not looking for corny one liners.

Spoiler: Not like this

Qo you know how heavy an ice bear is?
A:No
Q:Heavy enough to break the ice!
A:Cough

..okay some funny ones would also be cool.

People here tend to be withdrawn so I guess this would help more people than just me.

 

[Cabisco]

"Hey, I want to talk to you but I can't think of anything awesome to say to make you seem impressed so i'm winging it. Hope you don't mind"

 

[Brotherofwill]

In online games or in real life?

Hahhaah, that about says it all about this community. Nice one.

Real life.

 

[Batfred]

I used to work in sales. I can't possibly talk to anyone that uses the phrase "Help me help you". Sorry, but too many painful memories.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

DELETED

 

[mikecoulter]

"Hey, I want to talk to you but I can't think of anything awesome to say to make you seem impressed so i'm winging it. Hope you don't mind"

Haha, I kinda like this. Must try it at the train station sometime.

 

[TriggerHappyAngel]

there must be a reason that you want to talk to a certain person, right? - well, talk about that reason then

 

[Trifixion]

Well, it's kinda traditional, I suppose...I guess you can always start with a comment about the weather. Weather is always a safe starting topic because:

a.) It affects everybody (yes, even people who don't go outside for long stretches)
b.) There's nothing anybody can do to change it.

 

[El Poncho]

I try make sure I have some funny stories from recent news, it works most of the time.

 

[splatterguy734]

Try not to do what I do which is trying too hard and ending up mentioning conversation killing things like things you've seen on /b/

 

[Cabisco]

"Hey, I want to talk to you but I can't think of anything awesome to say to make you seem impressed so i'm winging it. Hope you don't mind"

Haha, I kinda like this. Must try it at the train station sometime.

Go for it, i've only ever used it once a couple weeks ago and I got chatting for a long time. Thats a 100% track record, woo missleading statistics ftw.

 

[jasoncyrus]

Best way to strike up a conversation is a mystical phrase called "Hi. How are you?" Followed by a slide into whatever topic you wish to talk about. Pretty easy really.

 

[mikecoulter]

"Hey, I want to talk to you but I can't think of anything awesome to say to make you seem impressed so i'm winging it. Hope you don't mind"

Haha, I kinda like this. Must try it at the train station sometime.

Go for it, i've only ever used it once a couple weeks ago and I got chatting for a long time. Thats a 100% track record, woo missleading statistics ftw.

Well there we have it then! Do give details of the situation so I can take notes haha.

[small]May I also just mention to everyone I'm not a recluse and have quite an active social life... =P[/small]

 

[Cabisco]

"Hey, I want to talk to you but I can't think of anything awesome to say to make you seem impressed so i'm winging it. Hope you don't mind"

Haha, I kinda like this. Must try it at the train station sometime.

Go for it, i've only ever used it once a couple weeks ago and I got chatting for a long time. Thats a 100% track record, woo missleading statistics ftw.

Well there we have it then! Do give details of the situation so I can take notes haha.

[small]May I also just mention to everyone I'm not a recluse and have quite an active social life... =P[/small]

Hahaha, lets see. At bar with friends, people started talking to others (pairing off) I had been wanting to talk to the attractive girl next to me, but really only had talked through other people during the night (by this I mean making jokes etc within a big group chat). So I realised we both weren't talking to anyone else and quickly just said that, as my mind was pretty much throwing out anything awesome I could have said.

So in conclusion: Two people not talking to anyone+ say icebreaking thing= talking about random stuff for hours.

 

[SuperUberBob]

It's always a pain to fly solo into social situations. I find that the best way to meet people is through small group settings. There's less pressure and more than one person available to connect with. You are sure to find some common ground with at least one person.

If you get too uptight, drink a little. It will reduce your inhibitions. But don't drink until you are really drunk because then the whole idea of making friends goes down the shitter.