help me out here. (advice thread)

[hydroblitz]

Ok, this thread is both to let me vent and to get advice.
You see, my mother is an alcoholic. She needs it to deal with stress, and to sleep at night. So, she drinks obscene amounts of beer and wine every night. She makes me get it for her, refill her glass, and dispose of the empties. I am careful not to speak to her, as any offhand comment will be met with her forcing me to stand and look her in the eye as she tells me everything that's wrong with my character, including thinking that I can have an opinion or rights as a 16 year old, how I do nothing but play on my stupid computer, how I need to get a life, how I am a spoiled little shit, an asshole, and countless other insults. If I say anything back to her I will lose everything I value, including my computer, xbox, and car. My parents are divorced, and my dad won't do anything or my mom will threaten a custody battle. This has been going on since middle school, and at this point I can't take it anymore. My family knows about it, but tell me to try to live with it, since she can't go to rehab without risking her job. I thank whatever deity is out there that I got good grades this semester so that she has one less thing to scream at me about.

Sorry for wall of text, but I am shaking with hatred for a person that I should love. I need some advice here.

 

[JaceArveduin]

Well, my only idea is to tell her to stop drinking beer and whine and go straight to the harder stuff. This means you can just give her a bottle of Jack and won't have to wait on her anymore.

**This advice has the ability to explode in your face like a tactical nuke**

 

[aprildog18]

I'm no expert in this matter, but I think first thing you have to do is look for a job (if you don't have one yet). It is quite unlikely she will be able to support you once you go to college and it is a good reason to get out of the house.

About your mother...you can try calling your mother's parents and ask for their help (if possible). Don't know how well this will work, but you should tell her to stop drinking all those drinks and hide all of them (and her car keys if she tries to buy some more).

Best of luck to you and I hope you can find a way to deal with this situation.

 

[Kinguendo]

I am probably not the best person to be giving you advice as I am a fan... well not fan, but incapable of doing things any other way... of just telling the truth. I also have the good fortune of not really caring about material possessions enough to warrant using them as leverage against me.

Oh and does your mother REALLY think she would win custody if it came down to that?

Of course, you could just bottle up all your rage and such until you go over the edge and blow your brains out all over the kitchen walls with a note in your pocket plainly stating it was because of your mothers drinking... that would sober her up pretty quick, or push her over the edge too. Probably sober her up, depending on how it was worded. But this is really only an option if you truly have given up on the novelty of "being alive", you shouldnt consider this an option up until that point. This is very much a last effort move, no second chances with this tactic. Normally this is the part where people tell you not to kick it BUT I dont see the humanity in forcing people to go on living a life that is a horrific nightmare if they dont want to, some people like the horror genre... personally I find it all to be jack-in-the-box shocks and thinly veiled attempts at getting passed bad(aka cheap) acting. What was I saying? Oh yes, only off yourself if its your only option and you actually dont want to live anymore... not JUST to try and stop your mother drinking when its clearly a 50/50 gambit at best and you wont even get to see if it worked.

 

[SckizoBoy]

First thing... there's an advice forum, so likelihood of troll answers much lower... though thankfully none yet.

Second of all, how do you get along with your dad? I'd guess that it isn't as bad as with your mom, so I'm thinking, why not go live with him? If it does come down to a custody battle, you're at an age when what you say to whoever's presiding will be respected (one hopes), and if your dad's a 'normal chap' the result's going to be kinda obvious. No disrespect to your mom, but she really should be the one who takes care of you, not the other way around, and as they say, people never know what they have until they lose it. Speak to your dad, and your maternal grandparents and hopefully they'll agree that your mother's conduct is unfair, negligent, [insert appropriate adjective here] etc. And after all that's done she can go get the rehab she needs. You do want her to get it, don't you?

Oh, and take this last piece with a bagful of salt... requires extreme tact: speak to her colleagues if you know/get on with them (passably at least). Note: largely inadvisable unless you really know what you're doing.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Moved to the advice forum.

 

[DuX1112]

My two cents: last as long as you have to and then move out/find a job/go to college. Try to get those things sooner.

I've felt shaking in hatred towards my father... If it wasn't for my friend at the time, I would've picked a fight with him. Would've probably done him in or ended in hospital or jail. But it ain't worth it, why would I? Try to set up a goal and start working towards it - your mom doesn't need to know about it, just pour her her damn drinks. When you make it though, she may even be proud of you having a job or going to school and things may change then and there...

Anyhow, how long has it been like this?