Help Me With my Essay Please.

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Serving UpSmiles

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Aug 4, 2010
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Okay so i've just finished my english essay, and i need some good hearted people to look at it for me. I'm really not sure if this is against forum rules but please just mark it. WARNING WALL OF TEXT

Title: Film Book Adaptations, Silent Killer of Originality.

There has been a growing problem in the film industry lately, it is that Book to film adaptations ruins the industry, even if you don?t agree with me I will convince you that it destroys imagination and creativity for quick cash in because of directors taking a beautiful medium and turn it into a cess pool of mediocrity. I?ll start with originality.


Now when someone hears of a film that was adapted from a book, their view on how the film is presented will be different if that someone did or did not read the book. For people who have read the book they would want a concrete copy of the book to film, and we all know this is impossible due to the story?s length in the book compared to what can be shown in cinemas. On the other side the person who has not read the book maybe intrigued by the imagination and the film?s ambition to use source material and use of cinematography. Most of the time Films based of well known stories that take a more imaginative approach such as Tim Robin?s Alice in Wonderland are the adaptations that are most successful, and the adaptations that aren?t fall into the used bins at petrol stations, this is all thanks to film critics and sceptics.
If the source material is itself based on a series of books, one question that is asked is will all books in the series be turned into films. Names such as The Golden Compass and Cirque De Freak had their first books turned into film; The Golden Compass (film) 3 book series of a young girl going on a mature magical adventure was released in Late 2007 with a large cliff hanger ending something like this just leaves the viewer confused about where the story goes, since then, there have been rumours, fake posters made by diehard fans of the series, but no official release for the sequel, the reason behind this was ?financial problems with the recession? as said by New Line Cinema representatives but, I think there?s a deeper reason behind this. It?s these kinds of problems that are harming the film industry causing cut backs such as job losses, tight budgets and carefully written scripts in the hands of people who do not understand the medium,


If a director wants to make a series of films based on a book series then they need to plan their approach, budget and scripting while keeping the narrative interesting, take a look at the Harry Potter films. 70% of all the films have had new directors, script writers and cinematographers; while all of this is backed by JK Rowling?s the world renowned author of the Harry Potter series, budget and consult. This is the reason why the series has lasted so long in the film industry.


Although some people believe these films help grow and keep the film industry going, my one reason against this argument is that book to film adaptations take too much from their producers and do not give anything back and, do not use the source material properly to make it engaging to the audience.


Some will say the book was always better, but I think that is just an excuse to make these films passable and at least reach average reviews, the film adaptations should be able to stand on its too feet, against other mediums, which is not being expected from them, instead they are seen as ?EPIC FILM TITLE HERE? and in small text under it will say ?based on some writer?s book who got a film on it? which is only to advertise the book and not too give the author credit. I believe that film directors should take more material from different mediums such as true stories, comic books, graphic novels, one which is prominently seen in recent films is comic books with its main supporting element, Super Heroes, ever since the release of The Dark Knight and Kick Ass no one has questioned the strength of making epic films from this medium. This proves my point that no one enjoys films based on books anymore, they?re already well detailed and enjoyableFilm to book adaptations is also ruining originality, last year 20% of films released in theatres were based on previous source material. And those are high numbers; there were a few winners, such as James Cameron?s Avatar that is seen as an instant blockbuster or The Dark Knight known as the Godfather of comic book films, but studies have shown that films that are completely original will succeed in the box office more often than any knock off B movie which takes everything from the source material and adds nothing more to the world or characters. Film to Book Adaptations are killing the industry not because of bad acting or script writing, it?s that they borrow too much from the source material and try to modernize it with big Hollywood special effects and actors and writers cannot come up with anything tasteful or interesting.


If a bad book to film adaptation is made, then we must, as those who love films punish the directors and writers of these films, tell your friends that the film did not meet expectations so that we can have more ?better? films in the years to come.
 

tigermilk

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Sep 4, 2010
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I'll post comments as they occur and just edit this post:

I'm not sure about your school/college/university but I have always been told use "do not" not don't (rule applies for all similar examples e.g. doesn't does not, couldn't could not etc).

First paragraph seems fraught with emotive language, is "cess pool" appropriate? (Perhaps it is if so leave it in).

Sorry just seen the time.

Some general tips:

Structure a paragraph like this

Point,
Evidence,
Analysis.

When referencing a film I was told to do so thus: Stranger Than Paradise (film title in italics) (Jarmush: 1984). Film Title in italics, then in brackets directors surname and year of release.

If you are going to say "Most people think" for example offer some evidence or present it as "I believe most people think" or "I will argue that" unless you can offer evidence that something is generally thought by people do not claim you can.

These are specific to your essay:

How do you know most people who read the book want an exact replica on the screen? (nad vice versa).

Perhaps balance your argument with some counter examples of adaptations:

The following are considered pulp novels (of low artistic value) but the resulating adaptations are considered cinematic classics for technical or cultural reasons.

Psycho (Hitchcock: 1960)
The Godfather Part I (Coppola 1972)
Jaws (Spielberg: 1975)

'The Da Vinci Code' was both often cited as low brow entertainment in both literary and cinematic terms (If you use this as an example perhaps present some evidence such as critical response).

Rebecca (Hitchcock 1940) Is based on a piece of literature held in high regard as is the adaptation.

One last thing you are clearly discussing two issues. Firstly cinematic adaptations of literature. Secondly critical and/or audience responses to these films. Underpinning this is the hypothesis that Hollywood (I presume you are discussing Hollywood cinema) is lazy in its decision to produce so many adaptations.

n.b. You may want to say early on if you will focus on Hollywood cinema if you are.

I am a Film Post Graduate student in the UK so my suggestions are relevent to my background, so only use what is relevent to your level of study and country (I assume you are American and I don't know what that means in terms of what your tutor/teacher wants from an essay).

EDIT: "studies have shown". Are you expected to offer a reference for what studies.

Perhaps instead of 70% (Harry Potter) say five out of seven (or whatever the number is).

You attribute the director as deciding to adapt a book, this is a decision more commonly made by studios, if you wan't to use directors perhaps offer an example.

If you consider comic books/graphic novels seperate to "books" you may want to esablish this in your introduction. AN introduction should both outline what you will and what you won't say/be looking at.

Final paragraph "punish" is rather emotive and it is generally seen as the studios who are punished by poor revenue from a film.

Conclusion could be longer, perhaps offer a summary of the points you have made.

"This proves my point, no one enjoys book to film adaptations". Sorry, you have not proved a point you have offered evidence to support your point. "No one enjoys book to film adaptaions", really no one? Studios put huge amounts of resources into audience/reception studies if no one enjoyed them they would not be made.

"20% of films based on previous sources" You may wish to establish what you mean by previous sources and why you feel it is to high a percentage. Establishing early on that you are just looking at Hollywood (for example) cinema may help this. You may also wish to define Hollywood by X number of studios.

Apologies if I am being harsh many of my suggestions may not be appropriatte for your level of study, you will have a far better idea than me which suggestions are applicable and which are not expected of you.

Hope this helps and I don't sound like a condescending prick (if I do I apologise).
 

Hashime

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Jan 13, 2010
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Okay, you may want to review your diction and tone (without sitting with you it is hard to explain). Just red it aloud and if it sounds good it probably it.
Are you allowed to use first person? Contractions?
If this is a formal essay that is going to be a propylene.
"not too give" this is wrong, look over your too, two, and to, rules.
Also, use less specific examples and focus more on the idea, in the last paragraph it seem like you are just spouting filler examples.
Don't use "bad" if you can use a more specific word or words like "poorly received"
D
 

The Austin

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Jul 20, 2009
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Fight Club, The Shawshank Redemption, The Godfather, Ghost Writer, The Outsiders, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, To Kill a Mocking Bird, and The Prestige are all book-based movies I can think of off the top of my head.

All of those moves are critically acclaimed. Just because a film is based off of a book doesn't make it bad.

And you might want to work on the run-on sentences.
 

the Dept of Science

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Nov 9, 2009
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My personal philosophy on films is that there are only 3 things that a film needs to be good, regardless of genre, budget, source material or any other considerations:

1. Good writing
2. Good directing/cinematography
3. Good acting

These 3 things are all necessary and sufficient for a film to be good.

There are lots of bad adaptatons, however, their badness has nothing to do with them being adaptations, it has to do with a lack of 1 of the 3 points.
While you are on the topic, I think it is imperative to mention that some of the best movies are adaptations or remakes:

Adaptations:

The Shawshank Redemption
The Godfather
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Goodfellas
Fight Club
The Maltese Falcon
all of Stanley Kubrick's movies
Silence of the Lambs
Blade Runner
No Country for Old Men

Remakes:

The Maltese Falcon
Scarface
The Thing
The Departed


Yea, if a bad adaptation is made then the producers shouldn't make any money. However, surely you could just say the same about any bad movie?

Also, not only do I think that the point you made is bad, but you also made it in a bad way. It comes off as quite ranty and over the top (I suspect that you are trying to imitate Yahtzee/MovieBob/whoever) and while that can be funny, in this case it isn't. You give very little thought to counterexamples, like the ones listed above. You use statistics like 20% which appear to have come from nowhere.
Because of this bad point, badly made with bad evidence, you sound less like the challenging cinema/literature purist you imagine yourself to be and more like a disgruntled ranting teenager trying to punch above his weight.
 

Imp Poster

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Sep 16, 2010
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I don't really agree with what you are saying about movies adaptations/based on books. They have been doing that since what, more than 20+ years ago, not just lately or an increase of them. I would say what you are saying about movies from TV adaptations/based on TV shows though. I can't name one successful one. They are all junk for sake of making money off popular TV shows/cartoons whether it is showing some booty, bad ass-ness, etc.

Edit: oh some examples, Charlie's Angels, G.I. Joe, Starky & Hutch, Dukes of Hazzard, Miami Vice, heck maybe even Transformers.
 

Pyro Paul

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Dec 7, 2007
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if i handed this in, it would probably get an F.

You need to work on paragraph structure, some paragraphs are too big and could easily be seperated into smaller paragraphs focused on key points while other paragraphs are way too small being little more then awkward statements.

Never start an essay, or even continue an essay, with 'You're Wrong, and i'll prove it to you' unless if your paper is purely intended as a Satire. you need to remain as unbias as possible when you write essays, even if they are heavily opinonated. always fall on the rule that you are presenting your believe and opinon on a matter and that you may be completely wrong.

i could easily make a counter argument that would destroy every point you've made then present counter points to explain off the 'reasons' you try and show in the paper.

i would suggest to you to delete this and then build the following argument.
Films based on books destroy imagination.

that is the main point you're trying to push any ways. you're just confusing imagination with 'orginality'
 

Pyro Paul

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Dec 7, 2007
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tigermilk said:
(I assume you are American and I don't know what that means in terms of what your tutor/teacher wants from an essay).
with statements such as 'in the bin at the petrol station' i would disagree with that assumption. sounds very UKish, a US student would say 'in the garbage at the local (gas station name)' as we tend to use Proper nouns as descriptors here in the US.
 

tigermilk

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Sep 4, 2010
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Pyro Paul said:
tigermilk said:
(I assume you are American and I don't know what that means in terms of what your tutor/teacher wants from an essay).
with statements such as 'in the bin at the petrol station' i would disagree with that assumption. sounds very UKish, a US student would say 'in the garbage at the local (gas station name)' as we tend to use Proper nouns as descriptors here in the US.
Good point, I only skimmed through the essay. Hope my comment didn't come across as a criticism of America/American people, I tend to just assume most people on the escapist are American.
 

Kuchinawa212

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Apr 23, 2009
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I just read the opening
You lack a grabber and get rid of firstperson. makes it seem unprofessional. Draw the reader into wanting to read more. Tell us your point on the issuse and dive right into why we should think you're right
 

interspark

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Dec 20, 2009
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sorry, its late so i only read about a dozen lines in, but from what i read you hit some good points, film makers do trash good books for a pay check and its scandelous!
 

Giest4life

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Feb 13, 2010
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Please don't take any of the critiques offered by myself, or any of the posters, as discouragement and proof of your lack of writing prowess. Because ultimately, you are the judge of your writing--before you ask others for help, read it, re-read it, and then read it again and then decide if you like it.

Serving UpSmiles said:
it is that Book to film adaptations ruins the industry
It should be: "it is that Book to film adaptations ruin the industry . But beyond the simple grammatical error in this phrase, I'm unsure why you have chose to make "Book" a noun; I also should caution you from using explosive words like "ruins" to paint such a picture for the industry. Not that you can't use them, but you better have some heavy evidence to back up your statements---which you don't.

Serving UpSmiles said:
even if you don't agree with me I will convince you that it destroys imagination and creativity for quick cash in because of directors taking a beautiful medium and turn it into a cess pool of mediocrity.
Look, it's sort of implied in essay that you are convincing your reader, who does not necessarily share the same point of view as yours, so you don't really have to explicitly tell me that you are going to convince me. It's (too) aggressive, and it's distracting, and it puts the reader on his guard---something you want to lower!

Also, the whole of your second paragraph does NOT accurately represent the problem of "originality" with making films that use books as their source material. I felt like as if it was more of an "ownership" thing than a creativity thing; the director takes ownership of the original authors' work, and presents it in his own image rather than that of the author.

Serving UpSmiles said:
Most of the time Films based of well known stories that take a more imaginative approach such as Tim Robin's Alice in Wonderland are the adaptations that are most successful, and the adaptations that aren't fall into the used bins at petrol stations, this is all thanks to film critics and sceptics.
Ok, seriously, I've no idea what this sentence is about. Consider revising the format, or breaking it up into two or more sentences.

I'd recomend doing some actual research--I know that it's cumbersome--to include statistics on how X% of movies released in the last two decades are film adaptations, compared to Z% of movies that were released, let's say, between 1970-1990. Again, it's just a suggestion. Build on it.

Serving UpSmiles said:
If a director wants to make a series of films based on a book series then they need to plan their approach, budget and scripting while keeping the narrative interesting, take a look at the Harry Potter films. 70% of all the films have had new directors, script writers and cinematographers; while all of this is backed by JK Rowling's the world renowned author of the Harry Potter series, budget and consult. This is the reason why the series has lasted so long in the film industry.
So, this is the start of the new paragraph, right? Right. But is it the begining of another point, or is it the continuation of the point discussed in the previous paragraph? Use words like "furthermore," "additionally," and etc to hint a change of tone or content.

Serving UpSmiles said:
Although some people believe these films help grow and keep the film industry going, my one reason against this argument is that book to film adaptations take too much from their producers and do not give anything back and, do not use the source material properly to make it engaging to the audience.
And your proof for this is....?
Serving UpSmiles said:
Some will say the book...
Some, who?

Serving UpSmiles said:
these films passable and at least reach average reviews..."
Films like: XYZ: The return of BDE, and the QUI chronicles, and so on so forth.

Serving UpSmiles said:
This proves my point that no one enjoys films based on books anymore, they're already well detailed and enjoyableFilm to book adaptations is also ruining originality, last year 20% of films released in theatres were based on previous source material.
Not, it doesn't.

Serving UpSmiles said:
last year 20% of films released in theatres were based on previous source material. And those are high numbers; there were a few winners, such as James Cameron's Avatar that is seen as an instant blockbuster or The Dark Knight known as the Godfather of comic book films....
Firstly: "prove" your numbers.

Secondly: Give examples of book adaptations that tanked at the box office.

Serving UpSmiles said:
If a bad book to film adaptation is made, then we must, as those who love films punish the directors and writers of these films, tell your friends that the film did not meet expectations so that we can have more 'better' films in the years to come.
This closing statement is ENTIRELY unwarranted: it does not go back to to opening statement, it does not summarize anything that I've read, and it closes with an absolute statement which posits that EVERYONE reading this will have the same goal. How about, "if you want a film industry that is not only financially prosperous, but is also full to the brim with bright and original artisans that produce fantastic works of art, say "NO" to book-to-film adaptations." Sounds better, doesn't it?

Overall, it's a really incoherent essay that is only united by the frequent use of the words "director," "film," "book," and "industry." In fact, it feels more like a rough draft, drawn over a hastily taken lunch break. Try introducing more points, try including hard statistics, like RottenTomatoes, and IMBD ratings. Don't assume that we know what you are talking about; the reader isn't psychic and can't predict your thought process.

Personally, I would scrap the whole thing and start anew.

Also, I should probably get on with my own homework.

Good luck.

Note: Please ignore any mistakes that I may have mid; I didn't proof read this post.