Help me write The Gamer's Bible

[Tonimata]

Having been a gamer for longer than I can (and want to) remember, I've had the chance to stumble across so many different gaming conventions, yet manage to remember so few, that I think it's time we do the greatest recopilation of gaming commandments, quotes, customs, celebrations, et cetera.

I'll start with two:

THOU SHALL HAVE FUN!
and
I DO BELIEVE I'M ON FIRE!

Edit: Don't forget quotes. QUOTES=IMPORTANT!

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

THOU SHALL HONOUR THE MACHINE

Just because you need the machines to play video games.
and I like the machine.

[sub]EDIT: After reading Max's post... I don't want to hate kittens Nooooo!
does this make me a bad machine worshipper? Can kittens live alongside the Machine? :O[/sub]

 

[Dragon_of_red]

I DO BELEIVE IN USING ALL CAPS

I DO BELIVE IN THE SEARCH BAR

actual ones.

THOU SHALL NOT MASH X

THOU SHALL NOT GO OVER CHEST HIGH WALLS

 

[Nhilus]

Thou shalt not scorn thy manuel

Thou shalt not hack

Thou shalt love thy team mate

these seem apropreate....

 

[James Cassidy]

-Thou shall not play favorites between consoles (This is a big one)

-Thou shall not flame others in competitive play.

-Camping is for Snipers only.

-If the game let's you do it, then it is fair play.

-Thou shall take pride in winning, but also take pride in losing.

-If the game allows it, you shall use it.

-MLG shall be played by map selection with all weapons assigned to default map settings.

-Honor the code of the gamers' opinion of good and bad even if you disagree. If one must protest, do so civilly.

-Thou shall not be biased. If thou claim a statement, have it backed by reasonable facts rather than fanboyist claims.

-RTFM: Read the fucking manual

-New players should be seen as an opportunity to teach how to play properly to expand enjoyment.

That's all I got so far

 

[Michailov]

THAU SHALL MEDIC!

 

[Legion]

I wonder if we shall get any atheists who object to the term 'Bible'?

THOU SHALL HONOUR THE MACHINE

Just because you need the machines to play video games.
and I like the machine.

[sub]EDIT: After reading Max's post... I don't want to hate kittens Nooooo!
does this make me a bad machine worshipper? Can kittens live alongside the Machine? :O[/sub]

Fine, get me a glass of Coke. The machine likes kittens.

-Thou shall not be biased, only opinionated.

That's usually the same thing. If you have no opinion then you have no bias.

 

[ottenni]

The Cake is a Lie
All Your Base are Belong to Us
You must Construct Additional Pylons
FOR THE EMPORER!

...Yeah.

Do you hate kittens?

Dude, hating kittens is like lifting yourself up by your own legs.
No matter how hard you may try, you cannot do it.

Really? I can lift myself up by my own legs, does that mean i am capable of hating kittens? Oh the horror!

OT:
Thou shalt go outside at regular intervals
Thou shalt always not have enough mana
Thou shalt always be less fiercome than a mudcrab

 

[Tonimata]

I DO BELIVE IN THE SEARCH BAR

This been done before?

Damn, I thought I was being original for once in my life...

Back to the thinking corner I guess...

ALTHOUGH! How long was it since the other post was made?

Also who did it? (So I can make sure his memory is erased from existance)

 

[Woem]

Back in the house! Stay in the house! Kill them all! Back in the House!

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/unforgotten-realms/875-Episode-42-Birthday-Beatdowns

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

I wonder if we shall get any atheists who object to the term 'Bible'?

THOU SHALL HONOUR THE MACHINE

Fine, get me a glass of Coke. The machine likes kittens.

I was wondering how long you'd take...
And sorry, I'm all out of Coke, but I do have some nice wine (If the Machine would care for some).
And I have access to no kittens. for stroking or eating purposes.
I swear now, if the Machine likes Eating Kittens, I'm going to stop worshipping it.

 

[Tonimata]

Back in the house! Stay in the house! Kill them all! Back in the House!

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/unforgotten-realms/875-Episode-42-Birthday-Beatdowns

THE most awesome Heavy tactic ever devised. In fact, I'd like to add something to that tactic. Get an engineer to build a dispenser inside the house, but close enough to you. Done, you are now an endlessly bullet spraying machine-o-doom.

Like that, you can get TWO MORE ACHIEVEMENTS THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY'RE FOOOOOOOR!!!!

 

[Emilin_Rose]

thou shalt make and play more than shooters and silent hill.

 

[James Cassidy]

That's usually the same thing. If you have no opinion then you have no bias.

Not all the time.

Opinions, smart ones, are based off facts and personal ideals. But being biased has it so that no matter what, facts or not, they will always support their claim.

For example, PS3 fanboys will claim that the PS2 is better than xbox 1 because it has sold more. While true it has sold more, sales really mean nothing and the fact that the PS2 has been out longer and still is being made has another fact into it. (Also the xbox 1 was discontinued)

BUT when the whole PS3 versus 360 came out, PS3 fanboys still claimed the PS3 superior. The 360 fanboys claimed that "Well, check the numbers, the 360 has sold more units." The PS3 fanboys turn around and claim that "sales mean nothing and the xbox 360 was out longer."

So we have from one generation to another the same arguments being exchanged back forth. That is biased.

If you are right by the claim that all biased is base off opinion then I guess either everyone is biased or not biased at all. There is a fine line and I admit that sometimes it is hard to tell, but there is a difference.

I will rephrase it though.

 

[Kirahazard]

And on the first day Miyamoto said: "Let there be Mario".

 

[Legion]

- Thou shalt kill your teammates "For the lulz".
- Thou shalt be beaten into ground for using the above phrase "For the lulz".
- Thou shalt be attacked by an army of kittens if you use the term 'noob' or 'owned' in a serious manner.

*snip*

Bias, by it's very definition means to favour one thing over another. It doesn't matter how much or how little.

So yes, we are always biased or not biased. In actuality, bias is more based upon fact than opinion.

I wonder if we shall get any atheists who object to the term 'Bible'?

THOU SHALL HONOUR THE MACHINE

Fine, get me a glass of Coke. The machine likes kittens.

I was wondering how long you'd take...
And sorry, I'm all out of Coke, but I do have some nice wine (If the Machine would care for some).
And I have access to no kittens. for stroking or eating purposes.
I swear now, if the Machine likes Eating Kittens, I'm going to stop worshipping it.

Why would you wonder that? I don't recall doing that joke before. [small]Unless I forgot.[/small]

The machine actually is building an army of kittens as the ultimate weapon against the puny humans.

Spoiler: Observe

We have snipers:

Hackers:

As well as Ninjas:

 

[munx13]

-Thou shall not spam the mic and/or chat
-Thou shall not use h4x
-Thou shall not disrespect the old 2D games

 

[Husky.Gnoll]

Like This?
And Shigeru Miyamoto said, "Let there be Mario," and there was Mario

"Go therefore and make Gamers of all nations baptizing them in the name of Nolan Bushnell of Allan Alcorn and of the Gaming Spirit"

Gamer's Prayer:
"Dear Lord from above, I pray to you for Strength, Courage, and Epicness, to smite all n00bs in my path, in the name of Bill Gates, Amen."

I do use the prayer.

 

[The_Healer]

THOU SHALT NOT EXCEED 9000!

Seriously, its not good.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

I thought these were the "Gamer's Bibles."

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

I kid.