Help with an essay for school?
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Seriously, I wouldn't put it past a 6th grader to take that class and ace it. I sure hope I can take both Algebra 2 and Trig. over the summer, I'd be truly happy with my schedule for the first time ever. So in the end hopefully my schedules will look like this:PersianLlama said:
Junior Year:
- Honors English 11
- Honors Government & Economics
- AP United States History
- AP European History
- Honors Spanish 3
- Honors Chemistry
- AP Calculus AB
- AP Statistics
Senior Year:
- AP English 12
- Honors Psychology
- Honors Spanish 4
- AP Biology
- AP Chemistry
- Honors Physics
- AP Calculus BC
I have no lunch in Junior year and am forced into one Senior year as AB Bio meets for a period and a half, leaving me with a spare amount of time for lunch.
- Honors English 11
- Honors Government & Economics
- AP United States History
- AP European History
- Honors Spanish 3
- Honors Chemistry
- AP Calculus AB
- AP Statistics
Senior Year:
- AP English 12
- Honors Psychology
- Honors Spanish 4
- AP Biology
- AP Chemistry
- Honors Physics
- AP Calculus BC
I have no lunch in Junior year and am forced into one Senior year as AB Bio meets for a period and a half, leaving me with a spare amount of time for lunch.
So the only AP I'm missing out on in this scenario is AP Physics, which I could never take unless I was a grade up in Science anyway, and I did too bad in 8th grade Science for that to happen. There are some other APs like in Computer Science, but I don't care about that.
Note: Sorry for taking over the thread, but you already got your essay done anyway. You did a pretty good job on it. No major grammatical errors (from my read of it anyway) and it flowed pretty well.
Its ok, you guys actually made me realize what an idiot I was being for procrastinating it like this. (Especially NewClassic's tangent)Shivari said:
Thanks for the help, and if you want me to i will send you a message of what it gets graded when I get it back.
I like Computer Science >.>Shivari said:
Algebra 2 is pretty easy too, I know it's possible to take it over the summer here. I would've if I didn't go to Iran over the summer >.<
My schedule is looking like this:
Junior Year:
-AP Chemistry (AP Chem. takes two periods here)
-AP English Language & Composition
-AP U.S. History
-Honors Pre-Calculus
-AP Psychology
-Honors Physics
Senior Year:
-AP Biology (AP Bio also takes two periods here)
-AP Physics C
-AP Calculus BC
-AP English Lit.
-AP Government
-Technical Theater (I have to take a fine arts course >.<)
-AP Chemistry (AP Chem. takes two periods here)
-AP English Language & Composition
-AP U.S. History
-Honors Pre-Calculus
-AP Psychology
-Honors Physics
Senior Year:
-AP Biology (AP Bio also takes two periods here)
-AP Physics C
-AP Calculus BC
-AP English Lit.
-AP Government
-Technical Theater (I have to take a fine arts course >.<)
Slightly better paragraphed and punctuated in my opinion:
"Mr. Thompson, please bring forward your first witness." The court was silent, watching the trial unfold. The media had so far covered the story well. Hack Thompson was suing Radiostar games, for his usual accusations that "Video games corrupt youth." While he had avidly attempted to sue many other video game companies, he had never once succeeded, leading many people to believe that he was just making calumny to generate public notice for his cause. Hack Thompson, a middle aged man with grey hair and a constant nearly imperceptible look of discomfort on his face, walked over to a young boy at the witness stand. The boy was about fifteen, short, scrawny, and seemed to have eyes as deep, dark and empty as an abyss.
"So tell me", Mr. Thompson said to the boy, "when did you first play Radiostar's game, Grand Theft Awesome 4?"
"At a friend's house," the boy said, in a contentious way.
"Why did you play it?" asked Thompson attempting to be conciliatory.
"Well, it looked like fun. You could blow stuff up, run anywhere in New York, and even get chased by the cops."
Thompson turned around and walked toward the jury. "Later that week, this boy walked into his school with a gun, planning on killing his classmates." The boy sunk into his seat trying to contain whatever level of anonymity he had left. "This Grand Theft Awesome," Hack Thompson said putting finger quotes around the game?s title, "trained and motivated him to commit these violent acts."
"Thank you Mr. Thompson. That is enough, have a seat. Will the lawyer for Radiostar please step forward, Mr. Bellic." A tall, muscular man in his mid twenties stepped forward. Victor Bellic was born to Serbian parents who had fled the country during war time.
"Thank you, Your Honor. Mr. Thompson attacks are base at best. He says nothing but blasphemous lies. I have everything to prove him wrong in a folder next to my briefcase." He walks over to it, and pulls out a small stack of papers. He glances at them for a moment and then looks over at Mr. Thompson. "Mr. Thompson, you do know that this child has been diagnosed with bi polar disorder, and clinical depression?"
"I am not sure," He said, floundering through his papers looking for the boy?s medical records.
"I have it right here if you want to look at it." Mr. Bellic said as he handed him the paper.
"Yes I do believe you are right Mr. Bellic, but what does that have to do with anything?"
In retaliation, Mr. Bellic said "It means that maybe it wasn't the game that made him go into school that day with a gun. Maybe it was because he is always picked on in school, and that in combination with his mental disorders lead him to bring the gun." Hack's jaw was agape; he was confounded at how he shot down his most important point.
Victor walked over to the jury and paced back and forth a bit. "Are you ladies and gentlemen going to believe him, when he is so obviously trying to beguile you? He has had a predilection against video games for a long time. He attempts to be dissembling and blame them on violence. He attempts to ameliorate his attacks by conveniently forgetting the medical records for his one witness. The same witness he has paid off to make him deferentially agree to whatever he wants him to say. The reason why he has this vendetta against games is unknown, but his ideas are unfounded with truth. I actually have a report from Gervais University that says playing violent video games does not cause these people to act out unless they have serious mental problems. For the average gamer the study shows that they are actually therapeutic. It is relaxing to be able to commit violence in a world where it doesn't cause any actual harm."
With that, Thompson knew he was finished. The jury made a unanimous decision in less than ten minutes finding in favor of Radiostar games. Thompson walked out of the courtroom with little deference for the paparazzi he was pushing through. He showed no ingratiating qualities, as he walked to his car to drive home. Later that month Thompson lost his license to practice law after it was found that he did in fact bribe his witness and their family to help him. It was a glorious day in the gaming community as everyone knew there would be no more Hack Thompson to interfere with their favorite games.
"So tell me", Mr. Thompson said to the boy, "when did you first play Radiostar's game, Grand Theft Awesome 4?"
"At a friend's house," the boy said, in a contentious way.
"Why did you play it?" asked Thompson attempting to be conciliatory.
"Well, it looked like fun. You could blow stuff up, run anywhere in New York, and even get chased by the cops."
Thompson turned around and walked toward the jury. "Later that week, this boy walked into his school with a gun, planning on killing his classmates." The boy sunk into his seat trying to contain whatever level of anonymity he had left. "This Grand Theft Awesome," Hack Thompson said putting finger quotes around the game?s title, "trained and motivated him to commit these violent acts."
"Thank you Mr. Thompson. That is enough, have a seat. Will the lawyer for Radiostar please step forward, Mr. Bellic." A tall, muscular man in his mid twenties stepped forward. Victor Bellic was born to Serbian parents who had fled the country during war time.
"Thank you, Your Honor. Mr. Thompson attacks are base at best. He says nothing but blasphemous lies. I have everything to prove him wrong in a folder next to my briefcase." He walks over to it, and pulls out a small stack of papers. He glances at them for a moment and then looks over at Mr. Thompson. "Mr. Thompson, you do know that this child has been diagnosed with bi polar disorder, and clinical depression?"
"I am not sure," He said, floundering through his papers looking for the boy?s medical records.
"I have it right here if you want to look at it." Mr. Bellic said as he handed him the paper.
"Yes I do believe you are right Mr. Bellic, but what does that have to do with anything?"
In retaliation, Mr. Bellic said "It means that maybe it wasn't the game that made him go into school that day with a gun. Maybe it was because he is always picked on in school, and that in combination with his mental disorders lead him to bring the gun." Hack's jaw was agape; he was confounded at how he shot down his most important point.
Victor walked over to the jury and paced back and forth a bit. "Are you ladies and gentlemen going to believe him, when he is so obviously trying to beguile you? He has had a predilection against video games for a long time. He attempts to be dissembling and blame them on violence. He attempts to ameliorate his attacks by conveniently forgetting the medical records for his one witness. The same witness he has paid off to make him deferentially agree to whatever he wants him to say. The reason why he has this vendetta against games is unknown, but his ideas are unfounded with truth. I actually have a report from Gervais University that says playing violent video games does not cause these people to act out unless they have serious mental problems. For the average gamer the study shows that they are actually therapeutic. It is relaxing to be able to commit violence in a world where it doesn't cause any actual harm."
With that, Thompson knew he was finished. The jury made a unanimous decision in less than ten minutes finding in favor of Radiostar games. Thompson walked out of the courtroom with little deference for the paparazzi he was pushing through. He showed no ingratiating qualities, as he walked to his car to drive home. Later that month Thompson lost his license to practice law after it was found that he did in fact bribe his witness and their family to help him. It was a glorious day in the gaming community as everyone knew there would be no more Hack Thompson to interfere with their favorite games.
Might I advise finding more words to replace "said"? Just a thought. It gets a little repetative if you use it so many times in quick succession.
Yeah, Computer Science just does nothing for me. And with a full schedule in both Junior and Senior year I couldn't take it if I wanted to anyway. And it looks like your school offers more APs than mine does, lucky. I wish I had taken APUSH this year so that I could've fit both Physics and Chemistry into next year and then had all three AP Sciences Senior year. Oh well. I might be able to move up there this year still, but I'm not sure how that would work since I've already finished a quarter of Honors US History. And I've fucked with my schedule quite a bit already, I've moved to three different Gym classes so far this year. What a useless class.PersianLlama said:
I don't know, I'll see if I can take Algebra 2 after school in the second semester or something, so that way I won't have a huge workload every day in the summer. I could handle Math Analysis (or Trig or whatever it's actually called!) by itself quite easily.
And I took filled my Art credit Freshman year. Midterms and Finals were sweet in there Art. We took maybe a 20 minute test and then she brought food for everyone and we sat and talked for a couple hours.
Ugh, I need to stop dreaming about this and talk to my guidance counselor. If I could get confirmation of everything it would remove a lot of stress.
I'm going to build on my good buddy Amnestic.
Then again, most people I throw tangents at ignore good advice, so maybe I've got something of a predilection for most of my tangent recipients.
I'd suggest revising again to be sure, but you did well. Good work.
There were a lot of times I would have used different words, or used the vocabulary words differently, but I'm impressed you got the work done as well and as quickly as you did.Amnestic said:
Then again, most people I throw tangents at ignore good advice, so maybe I've got something of a predilection for most of my tangent recipients.
I'd suggest revising again to be sure, but you did well. Good work.
For a poor Englishman who never had a guidance counselor, could you explain what their job is? We had a career's advisor, is it much the same thing?Shivari said:
Always revise again. You'll almost always spot something you think you could write better a second time. Well, maybe that's just me, generally revisions yield a better result.Mr. Bond said:
Maybe. They're the ones who we talk about our schedule with, and then they change it if everything is alright. They also handle all of the college stuff with you and transcripts and everything. I think they do other things, like counsel students in trouble in school or in life in general, but I obviously don't need that.Amnestic said:
Mine probably hates me, I'm in there quite a lot talking about my schedule.
i started it aswell in yr 10 but most people complained and it was changed along with our teacher in yr 11 to Billy Liar which isn't too great either but anything is better than the crucible
Yeah, my school apparently offers all the AP classes except Environmental Science and European History. I took some terrible typing/Microsoft Office class freshman year. Huge waste of time. As for Gym, it's very useless, but my school district is considering making 4 years of Gym mandatory.Shivari said:
Guidance counselors ftw, at least mine is awesome.
