Help with coming out as Bisexual

[Gmans uncle]

So, I've known I was Bisexual for a few years now, and I've decided it's time for me to come out. Partially because there's a guy in my Multimedia class who I desperately want to ask out, but mostly because I'm just tired of hiding it. However I don't have the slightest idea as to how I'm going to do it.

Worth noting: there is a small gay rights group within my High school that I could join, and I know quite a few other LGBT students who I could probably count on for support, but I'm still having trouble deciding on my method of doing so.

This is pretty much the only community I feel like I can go to for advice, all help will be greatly appreciated.

 

[Kakashi on crack]

Not really sure why coming out of the closet is such a big deal for people. If people ask just tell em the truth, your going to get the same response more or less from the same people whether you come out publically or just admit to being bisexual to people who ask and such. The only big difference is people who may not have asked will know if you do so publically.

I'm not an expert though, so take my advice with a tablespoon of salt and sort it out for yourself.

 

[Gmans uncle]

is he bi/gay too? That information is kinda important.

I neglected to mention that didn't I? I'm 90% sure he is homosexual, but I've never asked him about it directly, I have decided that the best coarse of action is defiantly to come out first. Sort of what this thread is about.

 

[phylline]

Good luck with however you choose to do it.

I came out by, on the last day of my high school, wearing one of those "Hi! I'm -" namebadges, and filled in the space with "gay", with tiny text underneath saying "no, I'm NOT joking!". Oh that was a fun day. (I'm bi, by the way, just due to having an overwhelming girl-preference I thought I was gay for a long time.)

How about operate a meh-whatever, bring it up if it's mentioned, and tell the truth if you're asked, perhaps affiliate yourself with the LGBT rights group to get yourself known? Also getting to know him and casually mentioning it (in a none-threatening manner!) and observe his reaction could be a good plan. (How I got my first girlfriend. Neither of us had come out at that point, either. )

But seriously. Don't make it a big deal.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

You don't have to announce it to everyone. I didn't tell many people I was bi, but I walked around holding my girlfriends hand and people kinda got the point! Just do what you feel is right, and don't worry too much about what other people think. It sounds like you have a good group of people to support you anyway.

 

[smurf_you]

Well I started by telling all of my friends first, and because some of them were loudmouths everyone knew about it inside a week, so maybe if you want EVERYONE to know, tell someone you know who would tell the next person they came across..... most people didn't care when they heard, hopefully you have the same luck I did

 

[Worgen]

Not really sure why coming out of the closet is such a big deal for people. If people ask just tell em the truth, your going to get the same response more or less from the same people whether you come out publically or just admit to being bisexual to people who ask and such. The only big difference is people who may not have asked will know if you do so publically.

I'm not an expert though, so take my advice with a tablespoon of salt and sort it out for yourself.

Because, depending on where you live, it could either be a non-issue or it could result in death threads and being ostracized, and everything in between.

 

[Cakes]

Not really sure why coming out of the closet is such a big deal for people.

I never did because the majority of my high school friends were more or less openly homophobic, so...

Thank goodness I'm into ladies too, I don't think I'm a good enough actor to have faked my way through that many extremely inappropriate teenage conversations.

_

Please let me know how this goes OP.

 

[Gmans uncle]

Okay, I think I have an idea, I think I'm going to join the group I mentioned and tell them at the first meeting I attend, that way I can insure the first people who know will offer support. I'll probably tell my parents the night after, from that point on I'll just casually tell my closest friends and not deny it when the subject comes up.
What do you guys think?

 

[Galletea]

What do you guys think?

I don't see that coming out as bisexual is a big deal. Your parents don't really need to know unless they're forcing you into straight relationships. If they're approachable and reasonable people you could wait until it's likely to come up, eg if you get a boyfriend.

Joining the gay rights group sounds like a good idea, assuming they don't carry prejudices about bisexuals (It happens I've seen it), and it might be a good place to start building confidence to tell people close to you.

My only concern is that bisexuality is often seen as just confusion and coming out tends to be shrugged off as attention seeking. So when you do come out, I wouldn't make it a big announcement. Tell those closest to you how you feel, most should be understanding.

So I guess I'm saying, go for it. Be careful how you present your announcement, but good luck.
And good luck with the guy in your class too.

 

[Zen Toombs]

What do you guys think?

That seems to be a good idea, and it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

For your reference I'm bisexual as well, and my "coming out" has mostly consisted of not denying it when the subject comes up/clarifying if a person is confused. I've been fairly lucky to avoid any sort of bullying or prejudice over the issue. I wish you good luck. ^_^

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

Not really sure why coming out of the closet is such a big deal for people.

The difficult part of it is that there's still a good chuck of people who haven't accepted homosexuality it today's society. Personally, as someone who is also Bi, the best method would be to tell your close friends and tell your family when you FEEL it's right, and (in my case) with a partner with you to help you. I know personally there's no way in hell I can tell my family without someone there to help me.

 

[DEATHD0DGER]

Okay, I think I have an idea, I think I'm going to join the group I mentioned and tell them at the first meeting I attend, that way I can insure the first people who know will offer support. I'll probably tell my parents the night after, from that point on I'll just casually tell my closest friends and not deny it when the subject comes up.
What do you guys think?

So... did you do it? If so, how did it go?

 

[Gmans uncle]

So... did you do it? If so, how did it go?

hmm... hadn't gotten any responses for a few days, I assumed this thread had died...

In any case, I haven't gotten the chance to ask around about joining the gay rights group yet (I've been crazy busy this week) but I think it might be a good idea to come out to my parents before-hand, so it will be easier to explain WHY I'm joining, I was just not going to tell them until after I'd already joined but... I see potential complications there.

Please let me know how this goes OP.

I'll be sure to update this thread when all that's done (just don't hold your breath too long) and I'll send ya a message if you asked for one.

As for the guy I mentioned, I'm forming a stable friendship with him so it'll be less awkward when I ask him out.

Wish me luck

 

[Thaluikhain]

Oh, one thing you're probably already aware of, but it might be worth repeating:

A gay rights group is not neccesarily going to be sympathetic towards bisexuals. Large elements of the gay community dismiss the existence of bisexuality, and hate anyone that claims to be, to an extent that draws comparisons to what they had to form a community to protect themselves against.

You might want to quietly find out if the group you're interested in joining sees bisexuals as equal beforehand.

 

[Gmans uncle]

Oh, one thing you're probably already aware of, but it might be worth repeating:

A gay rights group is not neccesarily going to be sympathetic towards bisexuals. Large elements of the gay community dismiss the existence of bisexuality, and hate anyone that claims to be, to an extent that draws comparisons to what they had to form a community to protect themselves against.

You might want to quietly find out if the group you're interested in joining sees bisexuals as equal beforehand.

From what I understand it's more of an LGBT rights group than a strictly gay rights one, so I'm 90% certain that there shouldn't be a problem with that, but thanks for the warning.

 

[DEATHD0DGER]

I'll be sure to update this thread when all that's done (just don't hold your breath too long) and I'll send ya a message if you asked for one.

No rush. I'm really interested to see how this goes, seeing as how I'm caught in a similar predicament.

Good luck with the guy.

 

[idodo35]

just do it as simple as that you are biesexual thats your right screw anyone who has a problem with that
now i understand that could be a bit difficult cause you might have some personal problems with that... like a homophobic best friend or whatever...
now i didnt read every reply so i might be missing the problem but another thing you can do is just be bi not anounce it just be anyone ask say yes im biesexual you have your eye on a guy ask him out! as simple as that!
hope i helped!