Help with writing some BS

[hittite]

I have a paper due for finals tomorrow. It's not very long, only two pages. The problem is that my BS well is officially empty. I have to compare themes from Jane Eyre and part of an essay that basically boils down to "women can have a high libido too, but society keeps them down." As far as I can tell, the two are nothing alike. It doesn't help that I only ever read the Spark notes. Any help you guys could give would be greatly appreciated. And please, keep the jokes to a minimum.

 

[FallenJellyDoughnut]

Say this: "Women can have high libido too, if they are men."

 

[hittite]

I might be able to work that in there somewhere. I was really hoping for more, though.

 

[-Drifter-]

You've just got to drag what little you know out as long as possible, and repeat yourself if you utterly and completely run out of ideas (be careful not to do so too often, though.) As long as you can word it in a semi-interesting way, you should be fine. It worked for me on my Socials 11 final.

Basically, we were supposed to write about Canada's peace-keeping activities. However, we'd never really studied that in class. In the end, I got a near perfect mark for saying "Yeah, we keep the peace and stuff."

Hope that helps.

 

[hittite]

works for me, now if I just had a single point of similarity.

 

[matumba]

I don't agree that Jane Eyre was actually libidinous, in fact she was probably one of the only characters in the entire book who was able to control herself and not give in to her desires purely for self satisfaction. She realized that she would never be able to get anywhere with little she had in life if she didn't fight for every inch of what she got. Giving into her sexual desires for Mr. Rochester would have been tantamount to turning on herself and giving up the (tenuous) freedom in her situation that she had worked so hard to achieve. She kept herself down and came out all the better for it.

I literally just took a final in which I chose to write on Jane Eyre, and my term paper this semester was a large argument against Jane Eyre being considered a Gothic Novel.

 

[hittite]

Thanks, do you mind if I use that?

 

[matumba]

Who? Me? Not at all. It's usually to better to disagree with critical articles than agree, it's harder usually unless the author is a complete jackass but nets you more points for impressiveness.

 

[FalloutJack]

Thanks, do you mind if I use that?

If he spoke it, you're intended to use it. Look at his lack of copyright. On a different note, this is for...two pages? I've...had to BS for longer than that, actually. But not on that subject. Probably wouldn't pick it if I had the choice.

 

[ma55ter_fett]

Talk about that one gueen elizabeth who was sleeping with all those dudes, "virgin queen" my ass,

talk about jone of ark and how she was burned for wearing mens clothing,

talk about sex and sexism, womens sufferage, adam and eve (how eve gets blamed)

talk about uneven pay for women

talk about modern soap operas and how all the women have tons of sex

use wikipedia, they often have someones who has come before you and who has broken down the novel.

 

[Chechosaurus]

It's all in the intro and the conclusion. If you spend 1/3 of the essay introducing what you're going to write about, asking rhetorical questions and the like, and then the other 1/3 wrapping up and being thoughtful on what you've written. For example, "The women's libido has always been repressed due to the male dominated hierarchy stating that a woman should be pure. This still holds true today, blah, blah blah, dogma, stigma, etc." then you only need to fill in the middle bit with ACTUAL content.

I did this on my first essay this year and did damn well. I didn't know a single thing about the Philosophy of the Enlightenment (I'm a Historian damn it!) and I still blagged a good mark.

 

[matumba]

Thanks, do you mind if I use that?

If he spoke it, you're intended to use it. Look at his lack of copyright. On a different note, this is for...two pages? I've...had to BS for longer than that, actually. But not on that subject. Probably wouldn't pick it if I had the choice.

I once wrote a 6 page paper on "Crime and Punishment" and was supposed to have at least 7 outside sources for backup entirely out of my head using only the book itself and still got a B+ from my professor. That was one of my finer moments in BS.

 

[hittite]

Thanks for the advice guys, I should probably get started now.

 

[teutonicman]

Try drinking a bit. I usually find that when the suds start flowing so do the words or at least the equations (go engineering).

 

[FalloutJack]

Thanks, do you mind if I use that?

If he spoke it, you're intended to use it. Look at his lack of copyright. On a different note, this is for...two pages? I've...had to BS for longer than that, actually. But not on that subject. Probably wouldn't pick it if I had the choice.

I once wrote a 6 page paper on "Crime and Punishment" and was supposed to have at least 7 outside sources for backup entirely out of my head using only the book itself and still got a B+ from my professor. That was one of my finer moments in BS.

I am impressed, since C&P is very dry. However, I have a funny tale that may match that. I took - because I wanted to - a Metaphysics course and was swimming in all the bullshit that people pander off as philosophical debate these days, stuff that would've made Descartes do a triple-take. In one of the papers, I wrote a prose which was almost entirely crap, which the professor marked an average grade for. BUT THEN, when I discovered that he was not actually following the line of BS that was shoveling at him and missed the premise, I brow-beat him into looking it over again and he then gave me a better grade. (Was at least a B, if I recall, but that - you must admit - is one HELL of a philosophical fish story.)

 

[Berethond]

I just paraphrase my friend's papers during my Computers II class.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Use lots of adjectives.

Light = extremely bright light

 

[simmeh]

Use lots of adjectives.

Light = extremely bright light

That'll only work in high school. In my experience, it's not as easy to draw the wool over the eyes of a university professor.

 

[matumba]

Thanks, do you mind if I use that?

If he spoke it, you're intended to use it. Look at his lack of copyright. On a different note, this is for...two pages? I've...had to BS for longer than that, actually. But not on that subject. Probably wouldn't pick it if I had the choice.

I once wrote a 6 page paper on "Crime and Punishment" and was supposed to have at least 7 outside sources for backup entirely out of my head using only the book itself and still got a B+ from my professor. That was one of my finer moments in BS.

I am impressed, since C&P is very dry. However, I have a funny tale that may match that. I took - because I wanted to - a Metaphysics course and was swimming in all the bullshit that people pander off as philosophical debate these days, stuff that would've made Descartes do a triple-take. In one of the papers, I wrote a prose which was almost entirely crap, which the professor marked an average grade for. BUT THEN, when I discovered that he was not actually following the line of BS that was shoveling at him and missed the premise, I brow-beat him into looking it over again and he then gave me a better grade. (Was at least a B, if I recall, but that - you must admit - is one HELL of a philosophical fish story.)

Nice. I took a philosophy course once, never again (though I suppose it having been Religious Philosphy didn't help at all). Upon completing the first three essays of the final in my blue book I had an epiphany: "What the fuck am I doing? I'm failing this class anyway, the final isn't going to help". So naturally instead of completing the fourth, longest, and final essay (something about comparing Christianity to my choice of eastern religion buddhism, Taoism, and some other third thing) I drew this picture...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v46/matumbafumba3/jesusrampage.jpg
(This is roughly about what I drew)

With the added caption "If Jesus were alive today". I really wish I had had the stones to go claim that blue book when I got back the next semester. I'm still curious as to whether or not I got any points for that.

 

[hittite]

Well, a page and a half of total BS later, I've passed the class. Thanks to everyone who helped. Cookies all around!