But I'm getting through it. And I want to help people out.
A couple of months ago, I posted here seeking for help, and I had to do it under a different account. Here it is in fact.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/538.828963-I-Cant-Help-Myself
I'm still not sure why I wanted to separate this account from anything involving this mental illness, but, now I feel like I can talk about it more.
I think the thing that has been always bothering me is that we're told to get help, but the process is always talked about in this sort of vague way. It doesn't really talk about what you should expect whenever you go somewhere in order to get help. I knew I was probably going to be prescribed medications. I knew that therapy involved a couch that the patient lies on(until that proved to be not the case. Thanks a lot Every Movie Ever!).
So, I just want to talk about my experiences so far of getting help. And, really, getting help is something you really should do. This really is an illness that you have to take care of somehow. It was TomSka(Yes, the creator to ASDF) who said it best that it's really about the lack of interest of wanting to live anymore. You don't have to be suicidal(I still have thoughts about it though, but they aren't as severe), you just don't really feel well anymore. It feels like that nothing matters anymore, nothing is worth living for, and all this stewed and boiling rage is getting worse(Yeah, this is conjecture, but I'd wager that this is what a lot of people would feel like.) It can be just an unwillingness to get out of bed for anything. Even for things you do enjoy. Because, even if you're not tired, you still feel tired.
So, let's talk about getting help.
I'm going to be talking about professional help here. Friends who can help out can definitely be important, but, some people could probably have trouble talking about these things even to their closest friends. I know I did. But, if you feel like you really don't have anyone to talk to, then therapists are there to help, which I'll get into later.
Oh yeah, and there's money...Yeah, not going to be able to help with that either. But, if you're able to do these things, definitely try them.
So, I started off by getting an appointment with a physician. This really is about the most boring part of getting through it all, because there's a bit of paper work you're going to have to fill out. Then, you'll get to see the person who starts asking you questions and to write things down. Then, the physician will come up to...well, pretty much ask the same questions, but this is the part where they'll get to prescribe you with something. The thing is with here is that it's a possibility that they will have to go through different drugs before something finally starts working for you. Some drugs might make you feel even worse, but I'm here to say that you should definitely try again with something else because it really can help.
Now, I thought going through this part might be embarrassing. But, it's similar with going to the doctor for anything else. And, hell, I'm half way convinced that I could have just come in and say "Hey! I've been feeling a bit down lately" and they would have prescribed with something right there. I do feel like this diminishes the value of what it means to get diagnosed with depression since it feels like anybody can go the doctor and say they have depression...but, yes, from what I have experienced, pretty much anybody can go to the doctor and say they have depression.
But, it it also means it's not that scary either. They'll ask you a couple of questions like if you've lost interest in things you normally enjoy, have lost motivation, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of hurting others, and then they'll just give you something. When the doctor prescribed me with Prozac, he said that he hoped he could get me to a better state like I was before. Honestly, I kind of don't remember ever not feeling like this. But, the thing to take away from this process is that these are designed to help you make you feel better. It's treated like any other sickness.
So, now we get to the therapy part. This part was pretty much not like I expected at all. This part, I'd really say it'd be easier(and a lot cheaper) to just have a friend to talk to. Maybe find somebody online, because what therapists are pretty much paid to do is to really just listen to your problems and then give you some advice. I was sort of expecting it to be like a movie as if I got to talk to someone and we figured out why I was feeling like shit all the time. And, we have gotten through some things like how there seem to be some things that have happened to me in the past that I haven't exactly come to terms with.
But, the thing with this is that it can really just take some thinking on your part. I think with me though, my situation is probably not as complex as others who probably have it way worse, in which case, this is definitely a viable option. However, it might be worth one visit to a therapist to see what it's like. You might also have to go through different therapists as well if you're not satisfied with your current one, which actually might be the case with me. This could also be a learning process for yourself, but it feels like you can get through this by cheaper means. But, do what you feel might be necessary. I'm definitely glad that I got to go through another one of my options. So, give this one a chance, especially if you feel it's really serious. Therapists are there to help with any problems you might have.
So, that's it. I really hope I've helped some people out there in at least looking at a couple of options to help themselves, because, dammit, it really is worth it. I'm not sure how much better I am or if I'm going to slip in fall in a dark place again, but, as of now, I feel better. I feel stronger, more capable, and, if I do hit a spot that would cause me to slip into another depressive episode, I feel like I can handle it better.
So, definitely look at your options. Even just talking about your problems can help. I'm not exactly sure how(it really doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me since just talking about problems doesn't necessarily make anything better) but I know that after I've talked about them, I certainly feel better. So, this is about surviving. And once you've made your first step, making the other steps are going to get increasingly easier because it feels like things are starting to get better and you'll be able to get through it.
And it will get better!
EDIT: I'd encourage anyone to talk about themselves getting through there depression to see if they can help others!
A couple of months ago, I posted here seeking for help, and I had to do it under a different account. Here it is in fact.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/538.828963-I-Cant-Help-Myself
I'm still not sure why I wanted to separate this account from anything involving this mental illness, but, now I feel like I can talk about it more.
I think the thing that has been always bothering me is that we're told to get help, but the process is always talked about in this sort of vague way. It doesn't really talk about what you should expect whenever you go somewhere in order to get help. I knew I was probably going to be prescribed medications. I knew that therapy involved a couch that the patient lies on(until that proved to be not the case. Thanks a lot Every Movie Ever!).
So, I just want to talk about my experiences so far of getting help. And, really, getting help is something you really should do. This really is an illness that you have to take care of somehow. It was TomSka(Yes, the creator to ASDF) who said it best that it's really about the lack of interest of wanting to live anymore. You don't have to be suicidal(I still have thoughts about it though, but they aren't as severe), you just don't really feel well anymore. It feels like that nothing matters anymore, nothing is worth living for, and all this stewed and boiling rage is getting worse(Yeah, this is conjecture, but I'd wager that this is what a lot of people would feel like.) It can be just an unwillingness to get out of bed for anything. Even for things you do enjoy. Because, even if you're not tired, you still feel tired.
So, let's talk about getting help.
I'm going to be talking about professional help here. Friends who can help out can definitely be important, but, some people could probably have trouble talking about these things even to their closest friends. I know I did. But, if you feel like you really don't have anyone to talk to, then therapists are there to help, which I'll get into later.
Oh yeah, and there's money...Yeah, not going to be able to help with that either. But, if you're able to do these things, definitely try them.
So, I started off by getting an appointment with a physician. This really is about the most boring part of getting through it all, because there's a bit of paper work you're going to have to fill out. Then, you'll get to see the person who starts asking you questions and to write things down. Then, the physician will come up to...well, pretty much ask the same questions, but this is the part where they'll get to prescribe you with something. The thing is with here is that it's a possibility that they will have to go through different drugs before something finally starts working for you. Some drugs might make you feel even worse, but I'm here to say that you should definitely try again with something else because it really can help.
Now, I thought going through this part might be embarrassing. But, it's similar with going to the doctor for anything else. And, hell, I'm half way convinced that I could have just come in and say "Hey! I've been feeling a bit down lately" and they would have prescribed with something right there. I do feel like this diminishes the value of what it means to get diagnosed with depression since it feels like anybody can go the doctor and say they have depression...but, yes, from what I have experienced, pretty much anybody can go to the doctor and say they have depression.
But, it it also means it's not that scary either. They'll ask you a couple of questions like if you've lost interest in things you normally enjoy, have lost motivation, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of hurting others, and then they'll just give you something. When the doctor prescribed me with Prozac, he said that he hoped he could get me to a better state like I was before. Honestly, I kind of don't remember ever not feeling like this. But, the thing to take away from this process is that these are designed to help you make you feel better. It's treated like any other sickness.
So, now we get to the therapy part. This part was pretty much not like I expected at all. This part, I'd really say it'd be easier(and a lot cheaper) to just have a friend to talk to. Maybe find somebody online, because what therapists are pretty much paid to do is to really just listen to your problems and then give you some advice. I was sort of expecting it to be like a movie as if I got to talk to someone and we figured out why I was feeling like shit all the time. And, we have gotten through some things like how there seem to be some things that have happened to me in the past that I haven't exactly come to terms with.
But, the thing with this is that it can really just take some thinking on your part. I think with me though, my situation is probably not as complex as others who probably have it way worse, in which case, this is definitely a viable option. However, it might be worth one visit to a therapist to see what it's like. You might also have to go through different therapists as well if you're not satisfied with your current one, which actually might be the case with me. This could also be a learning process for yourself, but it feels like you can get through this by cheaper means. But, do what you feel might be necessary. I'm definitely glad that I got to go through another one of my options. So, give this one a chance, especially if you feel it's really serious. Therapists are there to help with any problems you might have.
So, that's it. I really hope I've helped some people out there in at least looking at a couple of options to help themselves, because, dammit, it really is worth it. I'm not sure how much better I am or if I'm going to slip in fall in a dark place again, but, as of now, I feel better. I feel stronger, more capable, and, if I do hit a spot that would cause me to slip into another depressive episode, I feel like I can handle it better.
So, definitely look at your options. Even just talking about your problems can help. I'm not exactly sure how(it really doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me since just talking about problems doesn't necessarily make anything better) but I know that after I've talked about them, I certainly feel better. So, this is about surviving. And once you've made your first step, making the other steps are going to get increasingly easier because it feels like things are starting to get better and you'll be able to get through it.
And it will get better!
EDIT: I'd encourage anyone to talk about themselves getting through there depression to see if they can help others!