Okay, so this is a primarily video game forum, but I figured I'd give something different a try (even if you philistines chose to simply ignore my review of Behind The Mask. I'm not bitter or anything, but I will find where you live and spit in your mouth while you sleep. Yes, YOU. Lock your windows.)
Oh, and before I get started, there will be some spoilers in here because I will be talking about the plot. So, you've been warned and don't come crying to me if you go and find out something you didn't want to know, I'll spit in your mouth while you're... (hmm, I need to find a new threat.)
Right, onto the review proper. Heroes, an extremely popular show about people with superhuman abilities, has now slunk lazily into its third season, following a frankly dissapointing second season. People were expecting the material following the writers strike to be a lot better, since they had a lot more time to cook up some ideas, but it was basically pretty eh. I guess they thought that since people weren't exactly expecting Dickens-grade material from something that's basically a live-action comic book, they could slum it. Lost came out a lot better from the strike, but thats another story, for another review.
The third series was pitched as "Heroes: Villains", introducing villainous characters who use their powers for villan-y type purposes such as hurting people and knocking over banks. Because the first two series certainly didn't feature telekinetic, brain eating serial killers or immortal samurai Brits attempting to unleash viral Armaggedon. Nope. No villains there. Anyway, we do get some villains in the form of a number of nasty men who escape from Section 5 - one who can shout REALLY loud (like, REALLY loud), a flame thrower (like Claires real mom, but a smidge less masculine), totally-not-Magneto (come on he's even German. You're not fooling anyone, Kring) and Knox, who gets stronger when people are scared. They're not really villain material, since most of what they want is basically knocking over banks and just generally being dicks. At this stage, they don't really feel like much of the world threat the show tries to present them as, but I suppose I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, for now.
Now, one of the main plotlines of the third series of Heroes is that the futures gone sour and it's up to the Heroes of the present to stop it. Which, in case you aren't cosmically stupid, is the EXACT SAME PLOT HOOK AS THE FIRST TWO SERIES. I mean, come on, Kring, give us some credit! How stupid do you think we are that you don't think we'd see you pull this shit a THIRD goddamn time? In fact, Kring in general appears to be pathologically afraid of new ideas - there's a random guy in Africa with the EXACT same power as Isaac Mendez from series 1, the main new character is Tracy "totally-not-Nikki-Sanders-even-though-I-have-the-same-actress" Strauss and when we're introduced to someone with a new and interesting power (the ability to read an objects history by touching it) Sylar fucking EATS her. God DAMN it, Kring. I mean, I'd suspected you were running on empty when flying boy turned up in Season 2, but come ON! (On a side note, how damn Freudian was that? Claire falling for someone just like her biological papa?)
The series is only three episodes in, so I am willing to give it some slack here. (Just so you know, I'm in the UK, so I've only seen three so far. Some of you may be in the US with your magic Future-TV, but shut up. I'm English and therefore better than you. This is logic.) But it really feels lazy and treading over old ground, so my expectations are less than great. That Sylar is related to Peter I knew from god-damn series one episode one and for some reason, Mrs Petrelli has gone from 'working for the greater good but maybe a bit morally ambiguous in her methods' to 'batshit psycho-*****'. Remember I said about Sylar eating a girl with the ability to see the past? That's because Mrs Petrelli FED HER TO HIM. Walked into a room, unplugged Sylars sedative and locked the girl in with a brain-eating sociopath. Apparently this counts as character development or something, but it's ham handed and really unsatisfying. Hell, it's insulting is what it is.
Oh, and this is a general point about the series as a whole. How the fuck do these people think genetics actually works? Let me set some examples out and see if this makes any god-damn sense to you.
The Petrellis: Human Father (that we know of so far) + Special Mother (Dream visions) = 2 Mimics (one who has to eat brains to do it) and one who can fly?
The Sanders: Special Father (Intangibility) + Special Mother (Super-strong) = Special Kid (Talks to machines?)
Claire's Geneaology: Special Father (Flight) + Special Mother (Pyrokinesis) = Special Kid (Regeneration?)
I mean, come on. I get the whole mutation thing, but they had better come up with a damn good reason why Claire HEALS rather than FLIES WHILE SHOOTING FIRE FROM HER HANDS (which, lets face it, would be kind of cooler)
Now, okay, it's not all bad. There's a quite interesting story line with Hiro and Ando (who are pretty much the only reason to watch the third series). Hiro nips off to the future and sees future-Ando, apparently with super powers, fighting future-him. When Hiro returns, he has to come to the uncomfortable conclusion that at some point soon, he will lose his best freind and gain a potentially lethal enemy. So while they are on the trail of a potentially world-ending formula, Hiro is always looking over his shoulder and Ando is getting indignant. Plus, Masi Oka is fucking adorable. I want to cuddle him and tuck him into bed and... yeah, okay that's getting a bit creepy.
Anyway, lets wrap this shit up. Heroes: Villains is really in a slump at the moment, but I am willing to cut it some slack since it's only a few episodes in. It suffers from simply having too many storylines for any one plot or character to be satisfyingly fleshed out. The writing feels luke-warm and the actors, while I'm sure they're doing the best they can with the material they have, don't really shine in any way. If this series doesn't pick up, and quick, it may well be the last one - or, deserve to be. I guess I can't stop enough idiots watching it for some studio exec to think it's worth churning out an abortion of a fourth series. But I'll stop watching, and one person can make a difference......... right?
Oh, and before I get started, there will be some spoilers in here because I will be talking about the plot. So, you've been warned and don't come crying to me if you go and find out something you didn't want to know, I'll spit in your mouth while you're... (hmm, I need to find a new threat.)
Right, onto the review proper. Heroes, an extremely popular show about people with superhuman abilities, has now slunk lazily into its third season, following a frankly dissapointing second season. People were expecting the material following the writers strike to be a lot better, since they had a lot more time to cook up some ideas, but it was basically pretty eh. I guess they thought that since people weren't exactly expecting Dickens-grade material from something that's basically a live-action comic book, they could slum it. Lost came out a lot better from the strike, but thats another story, for another review.
The third series was pitched as "Heroes: Villains", introducing villainous characters who use their powers for villan-y type purposes such as hurting people and knocking over banks. Because the first two series certainly didn't feature telekinetic, brain eating serial killers or immortal samurai Brits attempting to unleash viral Armaggedon. Nope. No villains there. Anyway, we do get some villains in the form of a number of nasty men who escape from Section 5 - one who can shout REALLY loud (like, REALLY loud), a flame thrower (like Claires real mom, but a smidge less masculine), totally-not-Magneto (come on he's even German. You're not fooling anyone, Kring) and Knox, who gets stronger when people are scared. They're not really villain material, since most of what they want is basically knocking over banks and just generally being dicks. At this stage, they don't really feel like much of the world threat the show tries to present them as, but I suppose I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, for now.
Now, one of the main plotlines of the third series of Heroes is that the futures gone sour and it's up to the Heroes of the present to stop it. Which, in case you aren't cosmically stupid, is the EXACT SAME PLOT HOOK AS THE FIRST TWO SERIES. I mean, come on, Kring, give us some credit! How stupid do you think we are that you don't think we'd see you pull this shit a THIRD goddamn time? In fact, Kring in general appears to be pathologically afraid of new ideas - there's a random guy in Africa with the EXACT same power as Isaac Mendez from series 1, the main new character is Tracy "totally-not-Nikki-Sanders-even-though-I-have-the-same-actress" Strauss and when we're introduced to someone with a new and interesting power (the ability to read an objects history by touching it) Sylar fucking EATS her. God DAMN it, Kring. I mean, I'd suspected you were running on empty when flying boy turned up in Season 2, but come ON! (On a side note, how damn Freudian was that? Claire falling for someone just like her biological papa?)
The series is only three episodes in, so I am willing to give it some slack here. (Just so you know, I'm in the UK, so I've only seen three so far. Some of you may be in the US with your magic Future-TV, but shut up. I'm English and therefore better than you. This is logic.) But it really feels lazy and treading over old ground, so my expectations are less than great. That Sylar is related to Peter I knew from god-damn series one episode one and for some reason, Mrs Petrelli has gone from 'working for the greater good but maybe a bit morally ambiguous in her methods' to 'batshit psycho-*****'. Remember I said about Sylar eating a girl with the ability to see the past? That's because Mrs Petrelli FED HER TO HIM. Walked into a room, unplugged Sylars sedative and locked the girl in with a brain-eating sociopath. Apparently this counts as character development or something, but it's ham handed and really unsatisfying. Hell, it's insulting is what it is.
Oh, and this is a general point about the series as a whole. How the fuck do these people think genetics actually works? Let me set some examples out and see if this makes any god-damn sense to you.
The Petrellis: Human Father (that we know of so far) + Special Mother (Dream visions) = 2 Mimics (one who has to eat brains to do it) and one who can fly?
The Sanders: Special Father (Intangibility) + Special Mother (Super-strong) = Special Kid (Talks to machines?)
Claire's Geneaology: Special Father (Flight) + Special Mother (Pyrokinesis) = Special Kid (Regeneration?)
I mean, come on. I get the whole mutation thing, but they had better come up with a damn good reason why Claire HEALS rather than FLIES WHILE SHOOTING FIRE FROM HER HANDS (which, lets face it, would be kind of cooler)
Now, okay, it's not all bad. There's a quite interesting story line with Hiro and Ando (who are pretty much the only reason to watch the third series). Hiro nips off to the future and sees future-Ando, apparently with super powers, fighting future-him. When Hiro returns, he has to come to the uncomfortable conclusion that at some point soon, he will lose his best freind and gain a potentially lethal enemy. So while they are on the trail of a potentially world-ending formula, Hiro is always looking over his shoulder and Ando is getting indignant. Plus, Masi Oka is fucking adorable. I want to cuddle him and tuck him into bed and... yeah, okay that's getting a bit creepy.
Anyway, lets wrap this shit up. Heroes: Villains is really in a slump at the moment, but I am willing to cut it some slack since it's only a few episodes in. It suffers from simply having too many storylines for any one plot or character to be satisfyingly fleshed out. The writing feels luke-warm and the actors, while I'm sure they're doing the best they can with the material they have, don't really shine in any way. If this series doesn't pick up, and quick, it may well be the last one - or, deserve to be. I guess I can't stop enough idiots watching it for some studio exec to think it's worth churning out an abortion of a fourth series. But I'll stop watching, and one person can make a difference......... right?
