He's only 11 years old

[Nathaniel Grey]

Backstory:
My little brother, 11 years of age, asked me if I wanted to go to a basketball game tomorrow. I said "sure". We left it at that. The next day, I head outside and didn't get back in until mid afternoon. I asked my mother "Where's Choco? We're supposed to go to a game." She then told me that he and my dad left. I said to myself "Man I wish he would have told me the time." My mom heard me and said "Next time ask us. Choco is only 11." I responded "So what? What does that have to do with anything?"

Frontstory:
It occurred to me right then that my mom had been using that excuse for my brother a lot. I say "a lot" because I actually took notice. Now I'm not inquiring, of you all, to whether my mom was right in the use of that excuse. I already know the answer to that. No, her statement got me thinking about what is required of kids in general nowadays. In your personal experience have you noticed, whether it's chores, school work, responsibilities, etc., that the degree to which kids are held accountable has decreased?

If so, why?

Homework will be due at the start of class tomorrow.

 

[Jamieson 90]

To be fair you're older than him and when you're arranging something "When is it and where?" is a pretty important question to ask if the person inviting you hasn't already told you. Simply put yes your brother should have told you but when he didn't you should have asked.

 

[JoJo]

You really should have arranged where and when, a vague agreement isn't much to go on, especially if you then go out that day without even finding out when you have to be back by.

As for the general question in the thread... I haven't noticed any change to be honest and I doubt you'll find many useful accounts on this particular site, most people here are aged 16 to 24 and so there hasn't been time yet for any noticeable changes to arise yet since they grew up. If you're looking over a longer time span, if my parents are to be believed then a few decades ago in the UK children did have more responsibilities on average, part-time jobs and tasks in the household for example, but they also had far more freedom than the modern child, being allowed to go where they liked at a younger age without fears of traffic or 'stranger-danger'. Responsibility and freedom go hand-in-hand, if you're going to ask the kids for more responsibility then have the decency to give them some more freedom to use that responsibility too.

 

[kurupt87]

Well you didn't give him any Gysahl Greens, why should he have told you when it was?

 

[Ieyke]

Dude, I'm 27 and my sense of time is useless.
When I was 11 the time something was going to happen was UTTERLY beyond the realm of relevance to me.

Captcha: "Badger, Mushroom" SNAAAAKE!!!

 

[BarbaricGoose]

So... Choco was... late?

On topic: in regards to what your mother said, I think she's right. 11 really isn't all that old. I mean, I wasn't really making plans at 11. Everything just kind of... happened. When I got together with friends, we'd say things "I'll see you tomorrow," and that meant, "At my earliest convenience, I'll check with you tomorrow." Rarely did we discuss specific times, or coordinate. But maybe we were just weird.

 

[verdant monkai]

I asked my mother "Where's Choco?

Choco... as in bar of Chocolate? Can I ask what your name is?

To be fair you shouldn't rely on 11 year olds for anything they are pretty useless at organisation.

 

[krazykidd]

I asked my mother "Where's Choco?

Choco... as in bar of Chocolate? Can I ask what your name is?

To be fair you shouldn't rely on 11 year olds for anything they are pretty useless at organisation.

Choco as in chocobo, we all know that chocobos don't stay in...

Well you didn't give him any Gysahl Greens, why should he have told you when it was?

Dammit, ninja'd.

Did you try looking in the forest? Or walking on the footsteps?

 

[CpT_x_Killsteal]

I don't think age has all that much to do with it. If he forgot to tell you, it might've been a good idea to ask.

In your personal experience have you noticed, whether it's chores, school work, responsibilities, etc., that the degree to which kids are held accountable has decreased?
If so, why?

Yes, but it depends on the area where you live. Although unfortunately, more and more people are adopting the "But he's mah baby, he doesn't know better" attitude to parenting, with people even trying to fully protect teenagers who commit serious crimes on a regular basis.

At 11 he should be old enough to inform you himself, but your brothers name is Choco, that should the your number one concern.

Could be worse. Could be named Hashtag. Or Apple. Sometimes you just gotta love this generation of parents.

 

[Kuala BangoDango]

I think at 11 he may still be a bit too young to understand some of those things...kinda depends on how much responsibility your parents take for scheduling kid's activities and such. If your parents are typically the ones taking care of all your schedules then your brother may have assumed your dad would let you know since he was the one taking you all. Or if the game was something important at school that everyone talks about then he may have assumed you already knew the details.

You gotta remember that kids don't just automatically know the realities of life. When I was 8 (just a few years younger than your brother) I watched the show "Lassie" a lot and assumed that all dogs understood English and knew how to "sit", "fetch", etc. and would get angry at our pet Golden Retriever because he wouldn't do what I told him to do. Ignorance on the part of young kids is fixed by a simple thing...knowledge. Just tell your brother you didn't know and let him know if he invites people to do something in the future he needs to make sure they know the details.

 

[RedDeadFred]

Okay, before getting to the age thing, realize that when someone forgets to tell you information about what you plan on doing, you SHOULD ask them... It's not that hard to say "what time are we doing this at?| When someone asks me if I want to do something, they usually say "do you want to do X at X time?" To which I will say "sure." If they only say "do you want to do X." I'll then say "sure, what time?" Easy. Sorry if that sounded condescending.

On topic: in regards to what your mother said, I think she's right. 11 really isn't all that old. I mean, I wasn't really making plans at 11. Everything just kind of... happened. When I got together with friends, we'd say things "I'll see you tomorrow," and that meant, "At my earliest convenience, I'll check with you tomorrow." Rarely did we discuss specific times, or coordinate. But maybe we were just weird.

This is how it was for me too. From my experience, 11 year old kids aren't usually very specific with their plans. It's usually just "wanna hang out." The extent of my plans when I was 11 was playing tag after school with friends.

 

[senordesol]

'Planning' is not really something an 11 year old has a great deal of capacity for. If he's excited to do something, the 'details' of it will probably slip his mind because all he's thinking is "I get to go to a ball game!"

He should definitely be corrected, but I think your mom is right on (after all, she's basing her information off of you, most likely; she probably figured you wouldn't be able to make that call at 11 either).

 

[spartan231490]

Frankly I don't see any excuse for either of you. You're both old enough to understand the concept of time and its importance to arranged plans. Learn your lesson.

 

[Mr Fixit]

Age really doesn't matter, but if you make plans with anyone the next questions should be when & where.

 

[michael87cn]

Things are learned with experience - like this instance you probably won't forget anytime soon - (especially if you get angry/upset with your little brother, he surely won't forget). The age of your body is meaningless. Too many people expect too much from others just based on how long they've been alive. Time does not guarantee experience will be gained in every aspect of life.

It's a good idea to be more understanding of others, and more patient. I'm one to preach.... I have issues with impatience.... but what I am saying is true.

It could just be that it slipped his/your mind (what it seems like, actually...) in any event, it's not really that big of a deal, is it? There will always be more basketball games, you only have one little brother. Take care of him.

 

[klaynexas3]

He's 11 so don't start a shit fit near him, but don't just brush it off. Teach him proper etiquette in certain situations, and correct him when he forgets. If he keeps forgetting after a while, you can give him shit about it, but as this seems to be a one time situation, it isn't really necessary to be bugging out over.

 

[Bertylicious]

It's scheduling, mate. He is 11 so his Mum and Dad are 100% responsible for him 100% of the time.

Not only does that take loads and loads of effort, it can also be hella complicated. When you've got kids you need to basically plan your whole life around them to make sure they're properly looked after.

I'm guessing they'd be more than happy to let you take him off their hands, you just need to let them know so they can keep organised.

Plus you really ought to check with anyone before messing with their stuff. That is just basic courtesy.