Hilarious girlfriend blunders.

[NorthernTrooper]

Have you ever had those "Did that just happen" moments with your significant other?

I'll set the example. Me and my girl were coming back from a movie and sitting in the back seat. She tried to pull me in for a kiss and I thought it was a hug, so I left my head sideways. I ended up hitting her nose with the side of my head pretty hard, and it ended up bleeding.

She's fine of course, but I felt like such an idiot.

 

[CobraX]

Although she wasn't my girlfriend I once talked to a girl who didn`t know how to have sex. Does that count

One time, my girlfriend started choking on a piece of chicken while we were eating dinner.

I could see that she was trying to beg me for help.

I just sat there and watched her die.

Yeah I do that when I get bored with my girlfriends

 

[dfcrackhead]

One time a few years back, me, my girl and her friend were all hanging out and I was a young teen so my hormones were crazy, she was leaning in for something, I never found out what, I instantly went into make-out mode and closed my eyes and opened my mouth. That was awkward

 

[Uber Evil]

One time, my girlfriend started choking on a piece of chicken while we were eating dinner.

I could see that she was trying to beg me for help.

I just sat there and watched her die.

Go get help. Now. I mean it. That is just fucked to the nth degree.

 

[Mr. Google]

Yeah ive done the same thing as you Trooper so dont feel terrible hahaha only i actually like broke her nose my heads like really strong

 

[NorthernTrooper]

Yeah ive done the same thing as you Trooper so dont feel terrible hahaha only i actually like broke her nose my heads like really strong

It's good to know that I'm not alone.

 

[Bruin]

One time, my girlfriend started choking on a piece of chicken while we were eating dinner.

I could see that she was trying to beg me for help.

I just sat there and watched her die.

Go get help. Now. I mean it. That is just fucked to the nth degree.

In all honesty, I thought it helped set a sarcastic tone to a thread focused upon glorifying relationships with stories nobody will actually read. I did laugh though.

 

[Mr. Google]

Yeah ive done the same thing as you Trooper so dont feel terrible hahaha only i actually like broke her nose my heads like really strong

It's good to know that I'm not alone.

Yeah thats always a good feeling to know that you arent a crazy or stupid bastard hahhaa

 

[Uber Evil]

One time, my girlfriend started choking on a piece of chicken while we were eating dinner.

I could see that she was trying to beg me for help.

I just sat there and watched her die.

Go get help. Now. I mean it. That is just fucked to the nth degree.

In all honesty, I thought it helped set a sarcastic tone to a thread focused upon glorifying relationships with stories nobody will actually read. I did laugh though.

I read it with pauses between that lines. I read that last line and

 

[Eggsnham]

Funny story, one day as I was sitting in the cafeteria of my school waiting for the girl who was at the time, my girlfriend; I was treated to watching her run at me in tears.

For about five minutes I tried to figure out what she was telling me.

She was telling me that she was a lesbian.

That was hilarious...

[small]Although, we do laugh about in actuality.[/small]

 

[NorthernTrooper]

Funny story, one day as I was sitting in the cafeteria of my school waiting for the girl who was at the time, my girlfriend; I was treated to watching her run at me in tears.

For about five minutes I tried to figure out what she was telling me.

She was telling me that she was a lesbian.

That was hilarious...

[small]Although, we do laugh about in actuality.[/small]

You know when they say it'll be funnier later on? This is one of those moments. Traumatizing at first, hilarious later.

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

Was at the shooting range with one of my exes. I hand her my AK with a fresh 30-rounder in it so she can put a magazine's worth of bullets downrange... but since nervousness seems to make people forget safety briefings, she grabbed the rifle awkwardly and ended up pulling the trigger while the barrel was lined up directly with my left eye (to the point where I could literally see every bit of rifling that light was touching). I've never heard the click of a non-chambered firearm so clearly. She must've spent about five solid minutes apologizing before I convinced her to try again.

On the plus side, she managed to put all but four rounds on-paper at 50 meters, and it goes without saying that the sex afterward was unusually awesome.

 

[Altorin]

Dumb things I've done to/with my girlfriend? I can't think of any off the top of my head although I'm positive their absolutely LEGION

my ex-girlfriend used to lie about having a sister just so she could say mean things about my ex before her without me getting mad at her.. and lied about having a brother who had friends that were hitting on her to make me jealous.. and lied about having a baby (the baby picture she pointed to in fact was her)

 

[RandomWords]

Funny story, I shot her in the face, but it was an accident though...or so the cops thought.

 

[Sacman]

I picked up my girlfriend at a family reunion... do I win?

 

[Shadowex3]

Ever heard of guys that get "stuck" because their girlfriend got too nervous or something? That really does happen, and it hurts. A lot. Short of calling the EMTs for a shot of chemical muscle relaxant the only way out is to accomplish that effect some other way. The diaphragm can be helpful here, but asking her to turn her head and cough isn't exactly calming... laughter on the other hand works.

Cue me, feeling like I got shot in the nads, telling falcon punch jokes while desperately trying to get out without making the poor girl panic.

No more dating petite virgins. At least not without plenty of astroglide/KY.

 

[the wako kid]

probably this time i got totally plastered on good pot and cheap beer at my friends house. my friend lived across the street from the girl i was with at the time and i texted her and told her to meet me outside.my friend came with because i needed a lookout for to make sure his mom didnt catch us. we met up and my friend walked away to keep lookout.I immediately leaned my girl against the wall put my hand up her shirt and started to make out with her. and then my friend came back saw us and nearly died of shock because he didnt believe me when i told him i was rounding the bases with this girl. we unlatched and acted very embarassed and left immediately. most awkward thing ever because i couldnt effectively talk to my girlfriend for a few days afterwards....very embarassing.

 

[Johnnyallstar]

Funny story, one day as I was sitting in the cafeteria of my school waiting for the girl who was at the time, my girlfriend; I was treated to watching her run at me in tears.

For about five minutes I tried to figure out what she was telling me.

She was telling me that she was a lesbian.

That was hilarious...

[small]Although, we do laugh about in actuality.[/small]

The proper response to that is "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to watch some proof of that."