Home-brewed puns.

[similar.squirrel]

I've been coming up with a lot of terrible word-based jokes lately.
Attribute this to what you will; I personally think it's due to stress or nascent sadism.
Anyhow..The world always needs more cringing and facepalms [not to the mention the odd chortle, hastily suppressed], so share your best.

Here are a few of mine to start the 'fun':

What do tropical birds take for a headache?
Parakeetomol


Name a type of cheese from Utah.
Mormonzola

What do you call a Ranger in absentia?
Aragone



Now, hit me.

 

[Judgement101]

I've been coming up with a lot of terrible lately.
Attribute this to what you will; I personally think it's due to stress or nascent sadism.
Anyhow..The world always needs more cringing and facepalms [not to the mention the odd chortle, hastily suppressed], so share your best.

Here are a few of mine to start the 'fun':

What do tropical birds take for a headache?
Parakeetomol


Name a type of cheese from Utah.
Mormonzola

What do you call a Ranger in absentia?
Aragone



Now, hit me.

Oh my god, those are just......god....I think my brain is dying...

 

[T-Bone24]

Did you hear about the ugly dinosaur?

What an eyesaur!

 

[Simple Bluff]

"SO. How much do you reckon polar bears weigh?"
"Uh... what?"
"Enough..."
>.>
<,<
"...TO BREAK THE ICE!"
"...."

 

[Gabanuka]

What kind of cheese do you hide a horse in?

Mascarpone!

 

[Blueruler182]

"Why in god's name do I have a religious puzzle?"

My VERY atheist friend walked up to me and said that seriously. Made it all the better.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Hear about the Pakistani cricket scandal? They're in deep water now.

I wanted to be a milkman, but I didn't have the bottle.

I saw a bargain the other day, a TV set for £1. Only problem was the volume control which was stuck on full. Come on, how can you turn that down?

Three cheers for rap music!
Hip Hop Hooray!

I'm also a fan of geology based 'cleavage' jokes. You'll know what I mean if you study it.

 

[Palademon]

OH, my friend lvoes making long lists of these. Usually innuendoes or intellectual stuff and combined with people's usernames.

For example, one of his suernames somewhere is "Mathemagic"

 

[Outright Villainy]

Oh Lord, one day a few months back me and a few friends spent about 3 hours thinking of the most atrocious geology puns. Blast it, I can't remember any!

 

[Jasper Jeffs]

What kind of cheese do you hide a horse in?

Mascarpone!

Lmao, I was gonna post this. Did you get it off that big mouthed Viking guy that's on those beer adverts before comedy shows?

OT: I have none, other than I sometimes end sentences with 'who knows..?' and then follow it up with '... Frank Brunos'.

 

[Mozza444]

I threw two CDs at the wall today to see which one would hit first..
It was a Discrace

-------

'Not Actual Game Footage'

Translation

We put more effort into this advert than the actual game.

---------

I was eating my tea last night when I suddenly thought to myself, "This milk must be seriously out of date."

 

[Zap Rowsdower]

I heard they're selling test answers on pay-per-view.

That was terrible and took me a while to come up with.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

"The victim, a baseball player, was beat to death with this baseball bat!"

"I guess for this guy.....*sunglasses*....it's strike 3."

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Or

"Looks like our killer....*sunglasses*....Really hit home."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Or

"Looks our victim....*sunglasses*....won't be here for the 7th inning stretch."

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Wait, were any of those actually puns?

 

[Alfador_VII]

Don't you just hate hedgehogs, why can't they share?