Honest Contructive Criticism

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Gunjack65

Gunjack65

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Jun 8, 2009
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Howdy Escapist.
My friend has made a webcomic and he is curious to know what people think of it. He has been working on it for quite a while now, I think it is great but then again, I am his friend. So I pass it onto you guys. Is this comic any good and if not can we get some constructive criticism?.
http://interspark.smackjeeves.com/comics/890090/regestration-of-an-interspark/
There is a rather long archive to it.
 
Necator15

Necator15

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Jan 1, 2010
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So far the humor seems a bit absurd. A little too much so for my taste, and perhaps the jabs are a little too obvious, but it seems pretty solid. I chuckled at a few jokes, which is more than a lot of webcomics can say they've gotten me to do. On the whole, I would try to make the humor a little more subtle, and I think it would be improved immensely.
 
Catalyst6

Catalyst6

Dapper Fellow
Apr 21, 2010
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Let me preface the following by saying that I run a site that seriously reviews webcomics frequently. That way you know that I'm not simply trolling you when I say that it's terrible.

Short and sweet: Comics are meant to tell the story by the art as well as the writing. What you have there is a book, and a fairly badly written one at that. The jokes are cliche in a way that tries to be the Hitchhiker's Guide but stumbles badly into a tar pit. Your friend, or you if you're plugging it under the guise of a "friend", need to learn the art of silly humor. Yes, it's a difficult skill, but if you're going to make a comic based off of it then it's kind of necessary. Otherwise your comic will still be pretty dull.

So, yeah. Here's a hint: don't ask the internet to review your stuff and expect positive answers. The only way to get nice words is to make a masterpiece or reduce the census size to your immediate family, at least the ones who like you. -Catalyst
 
Gunjack65

Gunjack65

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Jun 8, 2009
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Demented Teddy said:
I ain't clicking a random link to god knows where.
Post the comic on here.
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If I knew how to, I would. Just trust me on this one. Wait a minute, Im a faceless internet prick, why the hell should you trust me.
 
Gunjack65

Gunjack65

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Jun 8, 2009
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Catalyst6 said:
Let me preface the following by saying that I run a site that seriously reviews webcomics frequently. That way you know that I'm not simply trolling you when I say that it's terrible.

Short and sweet: Comics are meant to tell the story by the art as well as the writing. What you have there is a book, and a fairly badly written one at that. The jokes are cliche in a way that tries to be the Hitchhiker's Guide but stumbles badly into a tar pit. Your friend, or you if you're plugging it under the guise of a "friend", need to learn the art of silly humor. Yes, it's a difficult skill, but if you're going to make a comic based off of it then it's kind of necessary. Otherwise your comic will still be pretty dull.

So, yeah. Here's a hint: don't ask the internet to review your stuff and expect positive answers. The only way to get nice words is to make a masterpiece or reduce the census size to your immediate family, at least the ones who like you. -Catalyst
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Apreciate the critisism, I can pass this on to my friend. Though I must point out, a comic doesnt have to be a masterpeice to be popular. Just look at Ctrl-Alt-Del
 
The Last Nomad

The Last Nomad

Lost in Ethiopia
Oct 28, 2009
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I just checked out the first four... I smiled about twice... Its ok... just... I dunno...

The Giant oven joke was pretty good... other than that it was really boring...

Although it was better than most of the webcomics out there that rely on references to be funny... it had its own humour... albeit not alot of it...
 
steampunk42

steampunk42

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Nov 18, 2009
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better art and maybe after a few the story will be clear...dont give up...but keep the day job
 
Eggsnham

Eggsnham

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Apr 29, 2009
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Ehh. It's not too bad, if there were better visuals, and better character development, I'm sure it would catch on as one of the thousands of already praised webcomics.
 
Gunjack65

Gunjack65

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Jun 8, 2009
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Spacefly said:
I just checked out the first four... I smiled about twice... Its ok... just... I dunno...

The Giant oven joke was pretty good... other than that it was really boring...

Although it was better than most of the webcomics out there that rely on references to be funny... it had its own humour... albeit not alot of it...
Click to expand...
Admitedly it isnt so great to start out with, but it does get better later on. Obviously people are going to call me out on that statement because of certain things said by Yahtzee, but read it through.
 
T-Bone24

T-Bone24

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Dec 29, 2008
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This is going to sound mean, so I apologise if it seems that way in advance.

It was awful. The writing was bad, the jokes were far too obvious to be funny and the surrealist humour was too forced. Surrealist humour works, for me at least, if the writer does not acknowledge it. I'm going to use the third panel of this page as an example. [http://interspark.smackjeeves.com/comics/890956/the-strange-vessels-strange-engine/] The humour here is essentially, "Eh? Get it? It's pretty weird!". If you do make a joke, don't just say, "my, that's out of the ordinary" and leave it at that. Develop jokes, bring them to a conclusion. Spend time developing characters, write ahead.

While it may be funny to have one-note characters, I have to admit that I chuckled at the character description of the interviewer, it's tiring when the two main characters are essentially the same person with different colours.

Sorry if this seems mean, I really wish I could help more.
 
V

VanityGirl

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Apr 29, 2009
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Pimppeter2 said:
Sleekgiant said:
Oh yeah, in the right hands its amazing what it can do.
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I read this as "in the right hand its amazing what it can do."

Lulz ensued.
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You would.

OT: Not the best thing I've seen. I enjoy my comics to be.. well better drawn to be honest.
The jokes were also not that funny.
 
The Last Nomad

The Last Nomad

Lost in Ethiopia
Oct 28, 2009
1,426
0
0
Gunjack65 said:
Spacefly said:
I just checked out the first four... I smiled about twice... Its ok... just... I dunno...

The Giant oven joke was pretty good... other than that it was really boring...

Although it was better than most of the webcomics out there that rely on references to be funny... it had its own humour... albeit not alot of it...
Click to expand...
Admitedly it isnt so great to start out with, but it does get better later on. Obviously people are going to call me out on that statement because of certain things said by Yahtzee, but read it through.
Click to expand...
I did read on a few and the major problem I had with the first few is still there. I didn't mention it before because the beginning of a comic sorta needs it but the comic is too heavily relient on the overall story... the green blob aliens breaking in incident takes up a load of the webcomics... Webcomics need to be accessable in each issue/entry. One incident for each comic... Other than that though... it does get a little funnier as it goes on... particularly after the alien blob incident. Its seems to get into a pretty good rhythm of 3 boxes of events with a last box delivering the punchline. The punchline should refer to the first 3 boxes though and not events from previous comics...
 
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