Honesty

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

I'm pretty sure one or two of you at least have a friend who is a great person but a compulsive liar. Why do you figure some people are so repelled by the idea of just being plain and clear?

My ex-boyfriend was like this. Whenever I'd catch him lying, he would make another lie to cover it up until it collapsed around him. He did this all the time, when it would have been infinitly easier to own up to whatever it is in the first place.

Do you guys think honesty is really that difficult? I know I've always valued it, no matter how blunt it may get.

 

[artanis_neravar]

It depends if they are actually a compulsive liar, in which case they are actually compelled to lie (hence the name). Other then that please do not group all guys together, yes sometimes it is easier to lie but over all it's just easier to come clean.

 

[AnnaIME]

I think some people really can't stop themselves.

I used to work in a library next to a school. There was this one kid I will never forget. He ALWAYS lied. He would deny knowing anything about any missing stuff while holding the thing in his hand, not even bothering to tuck it behind his back. He would deny having been in the library before, even though he came in nearly every day, and he would try calling himself by different names, even though we all knew who he was. He would tell all kinds of stories to get attention, and they always turned out to be made up.

He was just a regular kid, no neuropsychiatric diagnoses, but he just couldn't tell the truth. The other kids avoided him, and most adults too, since he was really annoying to be around. Poor kid. I heard he grew out of it, eventually, but the last time I met him he was in junior high and still a great big liar.

 

[tokae]

Compulsive lying is a disease. Pseudological fantastica, Mythomania, pathological lying.. That's just different names for habitual compulsive lying. It should be treated with counseling. And is often grown out of eventually, since it very often is attention-craving children / teenagers who do it. It could also stem from a deep trauma.

There is however a HUGE difference between being mentally ill and being a prick.

 

[leedwashere]

As a compulsive liar myself, I have to agree with the general assessment that its just not something I choose to do. Most of the time I don't even realize I've lied until part way or after the fact entirely. I often have to pay real close attention to what I'm talking about to catch myself and try and stop from spinning a yarn.

The sad thing is there is a story I usually tell to illustrate the point that I'm a compulsive liar, which is that on a plane once I convinced the guy sitting next to me that I was a professional baseball player in the Pirates organization. The kicker is that this story is also a lie >.<

It would probably be a lot easier to just tell the truth, and would suit me better. I would rather be brutally honest (and usually am when it comes to opinions, its events I tend to lie about). As a consequence, though, I have an awesome poker face and after so many years of this I've become unfortunately good at it, and about 60% of my lies go undetected. ::sigh::

 

[EmzOLV]

My ex-boyfriend was a total compulsive liar, all the time. It was absolutely terrible. He would lie to the point where, if I was away for a while (at work, on site, etc) he would lie to me about going to the cinema. He would basically say he spent the day at work - and then not that he'd been to see a film. In fact, with this particular lie it went on, he kept going on about how he hadn't seen this film and how he wanted to see it with me, etc... until his sister let go of the facts.

To be honest, I think he was like that because of the way he was brought up and his family history. I think he has learnt that he gets into less trouble if he lies, and that usually nobody questions him.

Anyway, he's an ex. I strive to be as honest with people as possible and if I can't answer to what they want to hear, then they shouldn't have asked!

Of course, tact helps.

 

[Count Igor]

Truthruthruthruthruth.
Aaaalways.
No matter what.
Never lies.
Or you die from my hand.

Which is basically where I stand on it.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Telling the truth isn't difficult, but a well thought out and convincing lie trumps honesty every time. What really pisses me off is when people lie, but they look guilty, or they do it really obviously. Either have the decency to do it properly or don't do it at all.

 

[Korak the Mad]

Compulsive lying is a disease. Pseudological fantastica, Mythomania, pathological lying.. That's just different names for habitual compulsive lying. It should be treated with counseling. And is often grown out of eventually, since it very often is attention-craving children / teenagers who do it. It could also stem from a deep trauma.

There is however a HUGE difference between being mentally ill and being a prick.

I will usually tell the truth about anything because you can instantly tell when I'm lying, so I learned not to lie. Yet there are people I've met who will lie about anything and will try to convince you that they are right.

There was one kid who was extremely dim-witted, he once said that wild turkeys are not bird because they cannot fly, but penguins are birds, because they can fly." I told him they're both birds, and wild turkeys can fly and penguins can't. Didn't listen. Later a wild turkey flew in front of the school bus, and I told him that they could fly. He denied that what he had said, and he even tried to say that I was the who said that that turkeys couldn't fly.

Also lying seems to be a defense mechanism and certain people seem to have that defense mechanism locked in position, and therefore will always lie, and not even know they're lying.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

The truth is better but lying is more fun.

I'm a pretty good liar so I can get away with a lot of ridiculous and out there statements.

 

[iLikeHippos]

Well, he was obviously scared. Did you ever provoke such a behavior to scare him like shouting?

Or, he thought he smart but turned dum and cudnt maek up laie properle.
Sorry.

I've found myself telling the truth a lot, but I found that lying with such bravado and skill was infinitely more satisfying when you got away with it, and they thought you were telling the truth - as always- all along.
TL;DR I like to deceive people I suppose.

 

[Raikov]

Yup, I know a guy like that. He is very afraid about what others think of him, so he makes up lies about what he does and the things he own etc.

I was a bit of a 'white liar' myself up until about 4 years ago. I don't remember what happened (or if anything did) to change my mind about it, but now I NEVER lie. Ever.

And I have to disagree with JUMBO PALACE (oh god caps are hurting my eyes). The trust is usually far more fun than a lie ever can be.

But sure, sometimes a bit of diplomacy is required, but it's really not that hard to stick to the truth.

Edit: Oh, and lying makes life so much less efficient. Especially for those you lie to, and I'm into helping people (yup, I'm weird. It has been said =)). And I work as an industrial electrician so I hate inefficiency with a passion...

 

[tokae]

(snipping indeed, yeees)
Also lying seems to be a defense mechanism and certain people seem to have that defense mechanism locked in position, and therefore will always lie, and not even know they're lying.

Lying is most likely some sort of defense mechanism programmed into our genetics, yes.
And not being able to control that mechanism, that is, lying all the time without really realizing it, is Mythomania.

 

[Lust]

Is it hard to be honest? Nope.

Luckily, I'm not interesting enough to have anything to lie about. Nevertheless, you can't be telling everybody, every single thing that goes on in your life.

Like, how I've been wearing the same pair of pants for about a year now................oh shit....>.>

 

[Link_to_Future]

Honesty is vulnerability.

I don't consider myself a blatantly dishonest person. Lying is a very quick way to turn a simple situation into a very complicated one.

At the same time though, I have a really hard time telling a simple truth. Anything personal about me is generally going to shielded by a layer of heavy sarcasm and mock insincerity. When speaking with me in person my friends have a very hard time telling if what I say is the truth or not because of just how sarcastic I am on a regular basis.

Am I a liar? I don't consider myself as such. I don't try to pass dishonesty as fact.

Am I any better? Not really. I have a habit of trying to pass any fact off as a self-deprecating joke.

 

[Blindswordmaster]

I'm always straight forward and honest. I may be blunt sometimes, but at least you know where I'm coming from.