1-Get a tin of nesquik
2-Pull on the draw
3-Stop pulling on the draw
4-Reach down with your hand (The one that isn't holding the fucking novel needed for this recipe)
5-Fumble for a spoon
6-Pick up a spoon that's too short
7-Put it back
8-Pick up a spoon that is in fact a Yugoslavian man in a bowler hat by the name of Yuri
9-Put it back
10-Pick up a spoon that's just right
11-Push against the now open draw with whatever part of the body you deem suitable
12-Stop once it has proceeded through the counter
13-Get your fish or preferably your dog to clean up all that drywall
14-Smack them until their nipples turn red for being insolent about the task given
15-Buy a cow
16-Milk said cow (Once I found a paperclip in a store brought bottle, it was made from the flesh of my Kreplakistanian comrade Yury who wears a fine silk top hat)
17-Put some form of container under the nipplier bits of the cow after forgetting to do that and getting milk on the floor
18-Put container full of cow semen I mean good wholesome milk inside microwave for 7 to the square root of 68.344453 plus the exact amount of sand grains found on Bondi beach seconds
19-Resurrect Albert Einstein with mechanized parts to help figure the equasion out
20-Knock said mecha genius into a vat of molten metal after he attempts to brain Yuri
21-Make mathematicians all over the world cry due to said equasion
22-Find a calculator and press the button marked for just such an occasion
23-Duck (Trust us)
24-Adopt a starving child
25-Force them to scrape all the ash off the kitchen floor caused by the microwave forming a ball of anti matter around the mammal pus I mean fine non-socialist milk
26-Throw small glass of water onto pulsating container of liberating milk
27-Borrow the kitchen of that one guy you talked to for a whole 35 seconds at that extremely hip unruly and cool cowboy birthday party from about 25 years back as he is the closest thing you have to a friend because your kitchen became choked with a gas that causes accountant syndrome after you attempted to cool off the container of milk.
28-Get Yuri to distract your oh so great buddy with promises of the maharrajahs stolen gold whilst you whip up a cup of old grandma Auntpies hot cocoa recipe in his kitchen.
29-Reach out and scoop up the tin of nesquik and the spoon you somehow hopefully kept from earlier (If you gave them to one of those untrustworthy traffic cones then unfortunately they've already offered them as gifts to the good king Potato Boots)
30-Put them down onto a perfectly level surface
31-Attempt to slide spoon under that ass-bitingly small bit of tin overlay on the lid
32-Fail and say a mild cuss word
33-Fail once again and say something so shockingly filthy that all the grandmothers within a radius of 400 million square miles die from loss of blood through the ears. If you don't succeed in making the cocoa at least you've guaranteed Australia an R rating (And you've killed dear GRANDMAMA! HOW DARE YOU!).
34-Succeed because the third time is always a charm (Spare the resident evil series fnar fnar snort snort)
35-Find a cup, he keeps them all above the purple monkey plucker machine next to the breadbox does he? Your friend is clearly mentally deranged, who uses a breadbox anymore?
35-Put two scoops of nesquik into the glass (We apologize for the lack of crude humour, social satire and overall bad excuses for jokes in this step, we had a new writer who we condemned to writing for video games and Micheal Bay films due to extreme ignorance).
36-Get cleared to insert the heated milk into the glass, it's only standard procedure
37-Somehow cock up putting milk into a glass so badly that aliens come from another dimension to be assholes
38-Become the saviour of man kind and return to your mentally challenged friends house to find that despite the house being shelled and your friend (And all the milkmen he kept in a room upstairs) having turned into zombies your cup of hot chocolate (Or "Cocoa" as the QUEERMOSEXUAL JESUS HATING FLAG BURNING NANCY BOYS SAY...UNLESS IT'S SAID BY ME...BECAUSE I ONLY CRIED FOR TWENTY MNUTES AFTER WATCHING LOVE ACTUALLY!) upright on the bench, still as warm and perfect as it was when you made it.
39-Raise the glass to your lips (Outside the house you silly, thar b zombehs theirr) with the satisfaction that despite all you've been through you are about to down a concoction even better than Yuris famous heathen soup.
40-Spit out this piece of shit hot chocolate, cuss so hard that the grandfathers of the world die of shock. Go to star bucks and buy one of their half decent cups of hot chocolate, as long as it isn't that weird kind of hot chocolate they sell around this time with cinnamon and apples and former employees floating around inside.